Happy new year everyone [;
are you guys happy it came? I'd love to know [; personally, im not. I was kind of living on memories, honestly and now with the new year and all i need to let go of all that which is kind of hard, ya know? but i have plenty of new goals. anyways, hope you enjoy. Review? That'd make a pretty cool new year for me.
I looked out into the crowd of screaming girls. This is what I lived to do, I always have been doing it. Pleasing girls around the country. Around the globe. I loved it, the thrill, the moments when a song really means something to you and you can concentrate, singing each and every feeling out. Of course, I learned the hard way that you need to remember not to mess up the words, however. Especially if it has your ex-girlfriend's old legal name in the song.
That screw up messed up Selena's relationship with me, plus it showed about half the world that I still loved 'Destiny'. Or, at least those observant enough to catch on. You're my Destiny anyways. Those were the original lyrics, unedited. For Disney however, unedited versions with a name is completely inappropriate, so they change it. The original version is the version that I played in my head all day long, for the last past 365 days. I loved that version best.
Backstage I fixed my eyes on the TV to my dressing room, playing MTV. That's what Miley was doing today. She was surprising one of her fans who did such great deeds, that they deserved a reward. She's doing something worthwhile, giving to the deserving. Us, we're simply doing this to get media, and they asked us too. And I know they asked her too, but she declined, pitching the deal out to MTV to surprise someone Miley style
I heard my door creak open, quickly scrambling for the remote and turning of the television. There's nothing that I was trying to hide, it's simply that I'm trying to be strong for my brother's. Frankie is too young for all this, Joe went through his breakup but he's stayed strong since the start, and Kevin just got engaged. I don't want to be the downer.
"Chill, Nick. It's just me," I heard Demi's voice behind me, letting out a breath of pure relief.
"Hey, Demi," I smiled at her.
"So, what were you watching?" her lips turned into a fine smirk.
"Nothing, what are you doing here?"
"Turn the television back on Nick, I know you were watching her. I knew you would be. That's why I came, I'll watch it with you," she smiled. "No catch. I won't tell anyone, I promise."
See, this is why I hang out so much with Demi. Not because she's a replacement for Miley, but because I can talk to her about Miley. I can trust her the most ever since Miley came along. Nonetheless, no one could ever replace her, no matter how hard they tried.
"Thanks," I turned it back on, watching intently.
She mesmerized me even now when I had to sit on my couch watching her perform live on TV instead of being with her performing on a rooftop. It was the price every couple had to pay sooner or later, the price of the past. The price of regrets and what ifs.
"Why didn't you go after her at all?" Demi pulled me out of trance. It took me a few seconds to comprehend but when I did I only looked down at her. She didn't seemed fazed by my confused look at all.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, when she walked out that bus door, why didn't you chase her? Why did you decide that it would be the last fight you had, the last goodbye you shared?" Demi asked. I couldn't answer because honestly, I wondered that a lot too. I never found an answer in me. "Sorry, it's just... the way that you look at her. You're still in love. A year after your break up and you're not over her in the least, you're still head over heels in love writing broken love songs. I wonder how two people that are that crazy over each other can possibly come to an end."
My heart skipped a beat. It takes two people to be crazy for each other. Still, I had no solution to her wonders.
"I.... I don't know," I squinted, searching within me disappointed when nothing came.
"Hey," she brought my gaze up to meet hers.. "get ready for two thousand nine, right?"
"Yeah," I laughed softly, not at all amazed. All that meant was leaving the past behind one more year, and the past was what I had to hold on to.
"A new year means all new beginnings, Nick. Get her back," I watched after her as she walked out. How?
Honestly, I saw that things were screwed up. Heck, half the world knew that things were screwed up between us. How are we supposed to fix all of that now?
I fixated on the TV again trying to get distracted by staring at the one I loved. And while I stared for the first time, I realized that smile. It wasn't her old Smiley Miley smile. This new one didn't reach her eyes, giving them even more of a spark. That's what intrigued me, because on stage, that smile was always the most real, her eyes always shone brighter.
Every magazine came flashing back to me, every performance I had seen from her. Something had always seemed out of place but I never had enough time to secretly stare at her face to figure out what. Now it was clear. She wasn't truly that happy, carefree girl. She wasn't really Miley.
That's when I realized how much different things could be for us. Maybe, it was time for a new start between the two of us. Maybe – just maybe – she still loved me too. Either way, Demi was right in some way. I had to at least try to win her over again. And with that thought, for the first time in a year I was in front of the camera simply laughing. A real laugh, with a real smile, not one of those pathetic grins. Even the tension between Joe and Taylor couldn't bring me down tonight.
At 12:01 AM, 2009, I would call Miley. I would tell her happy new year, and explain my first resolution. To save my soul from the sea of depression it's been recently drowning in.
2008 may have been great, but taking a step back I realize I had gained nothing. Sure, a thousand girls now knew my name, and we were now billionaires, but I still felt as if nothing was gained.
This year will be better, I'm determined. Watch out.
2009 is my year to s h i n e.
hm, review? yeah, i got bored and couldn't help but realize how awkward it was between joe and taylor so I had to add that too! anyone else see that? haha, it was taylor, then as far as he could possible be - joe and they refused to look at each other. Then when they had to hug it was the jonas', then everyone else. but Demi was in the middle of fight, so that was kind of funny. She hugged taylor and then the other three were kinda patiently waiting [;
Then Nick... wow. Tonight was the first time I saw his teeth in a smile XD that was my inspiration. lol. obviously i have no life. Review? make it a good first day of the year.
