For the Present
Author's Disclaimer: No, I don't own Star Wars. All rights go to their respective owners. I have always loved Star Wars, and when The Force Awakens came out, I was so excited! Now that I've seen the movie four times, I think I'm better able to write for it. This story is for a contest on deviantart, about one of the main characters from TFA, and I chose Rey. It involves Luke, her training, and much speculation about her parentage. I hope you enjoy!
~-SW-~
"There's been an awakening. Have you felt it? The Dark Side, and the Light."
Luke did not know that Rey had found his lightsaber, but he certainly felt it.
Her presence had always been there, growing fainter the longer he stayed in exile, but it was there all the same. The memories that had been so important to him started to die, just as his hope that he could restore the Jedi.
Day by day, he stood on the ledge of the island, wondering what he had done wrong, and if there was any way to fix what he had done. He was the only Jedi left.
Until that moment.
In one touch, visions flooded Rey's mind, and Luke Skywalker was brought to his knees. All breath left him, and he struggled to stand.
As he stood, he heard Obi Wan's voice, saying, "Luke, these are your first steps."
As his former master's voice dissipated, he felt the Force come alive, the winds picking up around him. There was new strength within him, and he knew he had to be ready.
There was hope.
It was not until he felt the small presence at the back of his mind grow stronger that he realized who was coming.
His past, that he had tried to so hard to run from, had found him, flying the Millennium Falcon. He knew why she flew that; he had felt that loss as well.
Luke had become much stronger with the Force over time, but it was in moments like this, when his family (or friends) were involved, that his emotions got the better of him. He had given in to his emotions in the past with several notable examples, and one of those examples was coming back to haunt him. He stormed to the stone precipice, looking away from the ship carrying his daughter back to him. He should have been overjoyed, but he was upset. He did not want to face his past, to tell her why she had grown up alone.
He was not ready for her.
He knew when she had reached the summit. He turned and faced her, and he waited to see what she would do.
He sensed her fear, but he also knew there was much determination in her. He did not feel the hate, for reasons he did not understand. He thought he had misread her when she brought out his lightsaber and pointed it at him, but then he realized that she wanted to return it to him.
As he accepted it, they stood in silence. She looked content to stay quiet, but he was not. Now that she was here, he wanted to hear her voice again, to know how she was. She had grown up in the more than ten years since he last saw her.
"Why have you come here?" he asked, wanting to know how long she stayed.
"I wanted to return that lightsaber to its proper owner, and I've come to ask you a question. Will you return to the Resistance with me? We need your help," she said, meeting his eyes with a strength that surprised him.
"Thank you. However, I cannot return. Now is not the time," he said in a tone of finality.
If that was all she wanted, then she must not know her full origins. Better she not find out. He prepared to turn around until he heard her call out to him again.
She stood her ground, and she demanded that he listen to her. "When will the time be? Do you have any idea what the First Order has done?"
"Yes, more than you know," he said, a sad look crossing his face as he looked away.
"Then teach me. Show me the ways of the Force," said Rey suddenly, rushing to stand in front of Luke again.
He did not ask her how she knew she had the Force within her. He had no doubt that it had manifested itself. He had already prepared a space for her without knowing that she would be the one coming, and he knew that she was his last chance to make things right for the galaxy. There was no one else (besides his sister, who had never tried), and he knew it.
"Why do you want to do this, Rey? Do you realize how strenuous and taxing this will be? Do you understand all that is required of you?"
He met her gaze to try and show her the gravity of the choice she was making. She stood unblinking, straightening up as though confident.
"After living in the deserts of Jakku for most of my life as a scavenger, I know I can handle anything," she answered, sure of herself. "I want to help my new friends."
"Very well. Follow me. I'll show you to where you'll be staying, and then we'll get Chewy and R2 settled down there. They'll only distract you during your training."
He started walking toward one of the many small outcrops of stone, one that led to the underground network of rooms. The temple was large, though sparse in furnishings.
"But what about the Falcon? Shouldn't we do something about-"
"There's no need," Luke said, turning and beckoning her to follow. "This island is special because of the temple. Unless someone on board a ship possessed the Force and wanted to use it for the Light, they will be unable to spot this island. I've seen ships in the past pass overhead, even at close distances when I'm standing in open view. We're safe here."
"How do I know I can trust you?" asked Rey.
Luke wanted to tell her that she should not trust him, but instead he said, "Listen to the Force. It will guide you. I can't force you to trust me, but it will be very hard to train you if you don't trust me."
They continued to walk with Rey deep in thought until they reached her room.
"You will stay here. Let's take care of our friends, and then you need to rest. We start training tomorrow."
He started to walk away when she called out to him, "How did you know my name?"
Luke smiled to himself. "The Force. It told me you were approaching."
Rey was silenced. Luke left the room and headed toward the Falcon.
R2-D2 started to move and vibrate when it saw him approach. Chewy greeted him as well. Rey was still some ways off, so it gave him a moment to his embrace his old friends.
After hugging R2-D2, he came to Chewy with arms outstretched. "I'm sorry. We shall both miss Han."
With a little reluctance, Chewy gave a large hug that left Luke gasping, and that was how Rey found him. She smiled a little as she watched the stoic Luke Skywalker embrace a droid and Wookie. If they trusted him, then so would she, in time. For now, she looked away and remembered the people she left behind.
~-SW-~
At dawn, Rey woke up and observed her surroundings. The rooms all seemed to be carved out of the ground, the floors a little dusty and little light reaching in other than from a small window. The walls here were much softer than the ones she had in Jakku, so she did not need to use a knife to carve out a spot on the walls; she could use a stick.
It was while she was using the stick that Luke came in.
"What are you doing with that stick?"
Rey finished what she was doing then put the stick down to answer matter-of-factly.
"Keeping track of time. At first, I did it to keep track of how long I've been separated from my family, and now it'll also be used to track how long it takes to train here and return to my friends."
At her mention of family, Luke grimaced slightly and tried not to think about the nightmare he had just had.
"Very well. Let's go and meditate. It'll help clear our minds."
For a time, they meditated. Then, Rey heard her stomach growl, after trying to ignore her hunger for the past thirty minutes.
After that, Luke rose, and she followed.
Seeing as he was forthcoming about food despite stopping for her, she asked, "What do we eat here? I haven't eaten anything since I left the Resistance base."
"We'll live off the land for the most part. There's fish, some plants, and I have a stock of things I brought with me originally. I haven't had to restock much, thankfully."
At that, he went into another room, and Rey followed him through another door to a dark room. In it, she heard the rustle of plastic, and then he asked her to leave. In the light, she saw that it was the portions that she had grown up eating in Jakku.
As happy surprise lit her eyes, Luke smiled a little, glad that she seemed to recognize something, however small. He got his flint ready, and got to work.
As they ate, Rey asked Luke questions. He gave vague answers until she talked about the food.
"Where did you learn to live like this? Did you just pick it up as you stayed here?"
"For the most part, yes. The first time I really experienced this was in Dagobah, when I was being taught by Master Yoda. He taught me much," he said with deep respect.
Rey looked as though she wanted to know more about Yoda, but he stopped her.
"You may ask questions about Master Yoda later. There will be time for that. Right now, we're done eating. You should go explore the island and temple some more. This will be your only chance before we begin training in earnest. Come back when you're hungry."
Rey did as she was told. She was curious about the island, and she wanted to get closer to the water. She had never seen so much water before.
When she was famished and had her curiosity sated, she went back to Luke, who already had food waiting. He looked so stern and old as he sat there on the ground, head bowed. She almost did not want to disturb him, but she suspected that he had heard her coming earlier.
As they ate, Rey started to ask more questions about Yoda, of who he was and what he had done. Luke spoke warmly of his time with Yoda, and then went on to speak of Obi-Wan.
After that, he stopped and asked, "How much do you know of the Force? Before you came here?"
"Very little," she answered honestly. "Han Solo was the first to mention the Force, and then I found your lightsaber, and thingsā¦. shifted for me. Something had changed. I could hear a voice speaking to me about my first steps as memories of the past came back, and I was confused."
"That was probably Master Obi-Wan. He spoke to me as well when you did that. What else do you know?"
She repeated what Maz had to say, which led to a brief tangent of Luke describing his odd friendship with her. After that, she spoke of her stay with the First Order, and then her time fighting in cold darkness.
"I had heard some voice speaking to me, encouraging me to try to free myself, and the same voice spoke when it told me to reach for the lightsaber in order to save my friend. I didn't know what was going on, but I trusted. It was strange, but so empowering. I fought decently, considering I had never used something like that before."
"You'll learn in time," said Luke, nodding in understanding, enjoying the scene Rey created as she spoke of the new experiences, so caught up in reliving those experiences again.
"I can only imagine how you fight," she said with awe. "When I was reminded of the Force and truly listened, I was amazed at what I could do. To have training would make me better prepared for the First Order."
"When we are done, you'll be better off than I was at first. I'll see to that," said Luke.
Rey nodded in hopeful anticipation before her eyes lost focus, and she looked out at the sea. Luke saw the far-off look in her eyes and wondered what she was thinking of, the reason she fought, or who she would be fighting. He hoped in time she would trust him enough to tell him what she was thinking of.
~-SW-~
A week later, Luke was getting used to the routine that he shared with Rey. He hated waking up to the same nightmare, but with the dawn came her smile and another stick mark. Then, they shared time meditating before a breakfast of fish and bread, each taking turns to catch the fish and prepare it (which had been interesting to show Rey, as Luke remembered well when he had first seen and had to prepare fish).
After that, they would train. He was gentle but firm with her, pushing her as far as she would go. He quickly admired her drive and ability to push herself, and he was amazed at how self-sufficient she was, in her silence and desire to do things on her own as soon as he demonstrated something, always on her own and never asking for help. She had mentioned growing up in Jakku, but he had hoped that she had had some kind of foster family like he had. He wanted to ask, but it was not his place. He wanted to know it was not as bad as he feared. Instead of asking, he waited for her to make a mistake, and then he corrected her. It was in those small touches, the corrections, that he got to bond with Rey, to begin to understand her a little better. His little girl had grown up, and he had no idea what had happened to her.
At the end of that day, he complimented Rey for all her hard work.
"You've done well today, Rey. You will be a great Jedi yet."
Rey blinked her eyes as she stared at Luke's face when he complimented her. He did not realize that he had smiled at her as he expressed his pride in her, or that his look reminded Rey of Han Solo. Soon after, though, she got that same far-off look that she got at least once a day, only now, she looked genuinely troubled.
Knowing as he did of his struggles with dealing with emotions, and those of everyone in the Skywalker family, he knew he needed to do something to help Rey. She would just sit and stew, as she was comfortable with silence, and did not know how to reach out to others (at least from what he could see, seeing as she did not talk about anyone or try seeing Chewy and R2 at all).
When Luke saw tears on her cheeks, he finally broke down and sat down next to her.
"What troubles you, Rey? Tell me. You need to tell someone, not just hold it all in. Doing that won't help your ability to control your emotions, speaking from personal experience. You can't let it all out, either, but you must find the middle ground. Please talk to me."
Rey gave in to her tears, and she clung to Luke, letting out the sorrow she felt at losing Han Solo. She thought she had been fine after seeing Leia, but evidently not. Something about Luke's face had reminded her of Han Solo and his interest in her, when she began to think of Han like a father.
Luke had been very patient with her and had not pushed for anything. She had not felt comfortable at first sharing, but now, she was beginning to trust him. Even if she refused to admit when she was tired, he knew. He always stopped the training in time before she pushed too hard. He did not have to know everything to believe in her and keep giving advice as he did.
"I miss Han Solo," she said at last. "He was the closest thing I ever had to a father. He believed in me."
"I miss him as well," said Luke, remembering the loss and shuddering. "It must've been a painful death."
While Luke was upset to have his place be usurped by Han again, he was glad that someone had been there for her. He went on to tell Rey stories of what he and Han had done together, of their exploits and adventures.
At the end, he asked her, "How long did you know him?"
"Maybe a week. It wasn't long, but enough to get to know him and see what he did. He explored the world, something I would love to do if I didn't want to go back to Jakku."
"Why do you want to go back to Jakku?" he asked, worried to hear the answer but needing to know all the same.
"I was separated from my family there. I want to be there when they come back," she said simply.
"Then why are you here?" asked Luke, his stomach lurching at knowing she had been left there. He knew that right after he disappeared, they got to his family first. His wife was killed (after separating the women), and he had heard that his daughter was sold as a slave. Perhaps that rumor had been true.
"Because Maz was right: I'm dwelling on the past. I don't want to leave it, though. I don't know what the future holds."
"None of us know what the future holds," said Luke, patting her shoulder in comfort.
"I want to go back to Jakku and find my family, but I don't even know if Jakku will remain. That's why I must fight. Even if I lose Jakku, I'll still have my new friends," she said, getting a similar look in her eyes.
Luke finally understood why she kept looking out into the sea and sky. She did miss her friends.
"Yes, you'll always have your friends. Keep them at the forefront of your mind. They're the ones who will help you survive any kind of test, even the seduction of the Dark Side. You may not fully understand how it's possible now, but one day, when someone you value is on the line, you'll understand."
"Who was it for you?" asked Rey, looking up curiously.
"My sister, Leia. I lost control, with my father," he said, remembering the moment with Vader and the Emperor well.
"Wait, as in General Organa? She's your sister?"
"Yes, I thought you knew that, but I guess not. That's why she knew when Han died, and why her son has the Force within him."
"He is undeserving," she said with disgust.
"He still has light within him. He can be saved."
"That's what Han was trying to do when he was killed by him," said Rey, a hurt look crossing her face. "I never thought I'd care so much about a person after so short of time. Who would think my saving a droid would lead to all this?"
"A droid you say?" said Luke, a smile creeping onto his face. "I can't say I'm surprised. Who from the Resistance did you meet after that?"
Rey looked a little dumbfounded at how he knew, so Luke told her a little more of how he met Obi-Wan and Han. After that, she spoke of her adventures.
At the end of her story, he asked her, "And after all that, you still want to go back to Jakku? I was so ready to leave Tatooine, to see all the galaxies. I never wanted to go back."
"But you lost your family," said Rey. "I don't know what happened to mine. I think they're still out there, and I'm going to find them."
"You would've never found them if you stayed on Jakku," said Luke, speaking without thinking.
Rey bent over after that, and Luke became concerned that he had said too much. As it was, he had shared much about himself that day, and so had Rey. He finally got to hear of her childhood and how she ended up with the Resistance. He was glad that she had found her way, just as he had. But now she continued to worry about her family, and that would only distract her. Never mind how much he was scared of telling her the whole truth of his past, and then she would never trust him again.
"Living in the past will not help you now, Rey. You must look to the future."
"But what about now, the present? And what about you? You're here, avoiding the past and future. How do you have the right to tell me that?" said an outraged Rey, getting up.
She hated being told again that she would never find her family, and that there was nothing left in the past. She refused to let go. That he would say something like that after his past actions of running away was not right.
"You haven't seen the mistakes I made. I don't want you to make the same ones as your, er, as I did."
He had come that close to telling her, and so it was time to go. He got up as well, and left her to think and stare. He had tried to help, and now it was up to her to listen.
~-SW-~
It took a few days before Rey really spoke to Luke again. Those were quiet practices, but Luke acted the same and did not speak. He always had something on his mind because of the nightmares. Eventually, Rey told him that she would consider what he had to say, since he had experience.
Luke's behavior toward Rey stayed the same until some weeks later, when they had been practicing moving objects inside. As they did so, a thunderstorm began, and Rey lost all concentration, her curiosity about the storm apparent. He finally stopped and let her off for good behavior so that she could see a storm outside of the desert.
He enjoyed watching her stand in the rain, her head up as she looked at the sky and swallowed rain, arms out to receive all of it. Certainly it rained hard for brief periods of time in the desert, but never for this long, or this much. She walked along the path toward a cliff, wanting to see the waves.
As she approached the cliff, her foot slid in a deeper puddle of water than she remembered there being, and she fell to the ground. Unfortunately, she fell into the slippery puddle, which slid her down toward to the cliff. As she realized that, she made a grab for anything hard and stable.
As her feet dangled off the cliff, she managed to grab hold of a rock, but her hands were soon slipping. She was about to scream when Luke's hands took hold of her wrists and pulled her to safety. As she took his hands in hers, something made her look into his eyes and see the great pain and panic in them. As soon as her feet were on the ground, he pulled her to him, then helped her up and dragged her indoors to warm up and dry off.
When she was situated and warmer, he spoke at last, anger filling his voice as he knelt in front of her.
"What were you thinking, Rey? You could have been killed! Why didn't you try to do as we were just practicing? You could have moved that stone if you wanted to. If nothing else, why didn't you call for help? What if I hadn't felt your distress and come after you? What if I lost you?"
All the questions up until the last one were legitimate. The last one just confused her. But in her confusion and desire to stand up for herself, the right words always seemed to come to her. She leaned in and spoke with conviction.
"If you were so worried, why didn't you do the same? You could've moved me just as well. Why risk your life and mine? Why does it matter if you lost me, seeing as you just stay here and avoid the world! I didn't know what to do then; I panicked!"
Luke got up, knowing that she was right. The problem was that she had not reached out to him, and he wanted her to do so. The bigger problem, however, was that she did not trust him, and that she had no idea how much he cared about her, now especially after spending time with her in training. The biggest problem was that he was letting his emotions (especially panic) get the better of him. He was not in control, and he needed to be before speaking further.
"You're right. I panicked as well. As your mentor, I worry about you. Excuse me."
After that, Rey noticed that Luke was no longer gentle in his teaching. He still recognized her limits, but he was more abrupt and to the point. She did not realize that he was doing all in his power to hide his feelings for her, all the while meditating more to try to control his emotions better.
~-SW-~
It was after their first practice using a lightsaber that Rey remembered Luke's story of considering the Dark Side because his sister had been threatened.
In the months since the thunderstorm, they talked as needed, but they did not share anything with the other anymore. Part of her wanted to, and she knew that she had hurt Luke somehow in what she had said. She did not understand why fully, and she wanted to know. She felt guilty.
"Can feelings of guilt make you turn to the Dark Side?" asked Rey as Luke started to walk away.
He turned upon hearing her question, wondering if she had somehow read his thoughts. He was feeling more and more guilty for not saying anything to her about her parentage, so this was not helping. But, she was reaching out to him, which was different. He led her to a log to sit.
"Yes. Any strong feeling can be used to turn you to the Dark Side. Certainly, fear and hate are the easiest to swing you, but guilt, hurt, even love can be twisted to make you think that joining the Dark Side is better. Why?"
He gave her a glare, and she continued with her innocent look.
"I was just curious," she said.
"If something does make you feel guilty, you should say something," he said, cringing at how he did not take his own advice. "Hiding something like that will only hurt you more in the end. People will take advantage of it and manipulate you with it."
"And that's happened to you before?" asked Rey, looking concerned. She did not quite understand how the Dark Side could seduce someone good like him, but she wanted to know.
"Yes. When my father was Darth Vader, he tried a wide variety of things to try and make me join him on the Dark Side. Nowadays, it's not the Emperor and Darth Vader manipulating, but Snoke. He's evil, and will stop at nothing to have control. He'll destroy all the Jedi, or turn them all as dark as he. He'll use any means to do it, and I couldn't take him on alone."
He looked away from Rey as he imagined fighting him, as he always did in his nightmares. It worried him.
"Do you have to do it alone?" asked Rey, pulling him back.
"I always thought I had to since I'm the Jedi Master. But seeing what I've done before, I guess I don't have to," he said, worry lines creasing his face.
"We, the Resistance, could help. I'd go with you," she said, seeing his fear and touching his good hand.
"No! I won't let you!" he said, getting up and running off to his room. Rey sat there, confused and hurt by his response. She thought she was progressing well.
Luke knew he should not have run away like that, but talking about Snoke and her together brought up a sore point for him that made him especially emotional. The thought of losing her to the Dark Side was unbearable.
As he sought sleep that night, the nightmare came back, greater and darker than ever. In it, he went to meet Snoke. The talk soon turned into a lightsaber duel, only for Rey to appear. She came to help him, and she got struck almost immediately.
Just as he got the upper hand, Rey called out to him in distress.
"Luke! Help me, please!"
She was about to die from the wound, but he wanted to finish Snoke.
Then, Rey would scream. He would turn around, only to see Rey without a hand and crying. Snoke would be next to her, comforting her.
"I told you he'd never help you and come for you. He's uncaring as a Master, and an even worse father, wouldn't you say?"
"What do you mean, father?" Rey asked, confused and hurt.
"He's your father, and he doesn't care if you live or die. He even refused to tell you because he's ashamed of you. But I'm not. I'd gladly welcome you. Join me, Rey."
At that point, Rey would turn dark, and then she would come toward him as though to kill him. He always woke up then. That night, she screamed at him as she ran to kill him.
"I can't believe you feel guilty about me! Was I that much of a mistake? What did I do wrong? Why did you leave me?"
It was as she said that last question that he woke up, screaming.
"No! I'll never leave you again!"
Rey came running toward him after hearing the initial scream. His words confused her, but she came anyway. He was afraid of something.
As she rushed into the room without announcing herself, Luke reacted and pulled out his lightsaber. He caught himself just in time before he hurt Rey, but he was still ashamed that he had done that to her. Rey stood there, not knowing what to do or say as she saw his wide, panicked eyes, so Luke left. He ran outdoors, to the cliff he preferred to stand and think from.
He did his best to calm down, but all he wanted in that moment was to go to Rey. He wanted to apologize, and he wanted to assuage her fears after she came running to help. He did not know if she would forgive him for that, but he had better hope there of being forgiven than for telling her that he was her father.
These nightmares had gone on long enough. He was tired of being controlled by them and the guilt.
He found Rey in her room, sitting under blankets.
"Rey, I'd like to apologize for my earlier behavior. I'm sorry for scaring you with my screams and pointing my lightsaber at you. I had just woken up from a nightmare, and I was feeling defensive."
"You looked like you were afraid of me," said Rey, not looking at him. "Why?"
"Ever since you arrived here, I've had the same nightmare every night, that I'm fighting Snoke, and you come to help me. In the middle of the fight, you get injured, and then Snoke convinces you to join the Dark Side. He uses you to kill me."
Rey looked up when she heard that she was in his nightmare. She stood up when his body slumped forward as he spoke of her turning dark and killing him.
"But why would I do that? You're just trying to stop Snoke," she said, trying to understand. She pulled him to the ground to sit with her, in case he was feeling weak.
"Because I haven't been totally honest with you, Rey. There's a reason why I'm hiding from my past. I had hoped that by training new Jedi, I could counteract all that had been done in the past. I failed to do that, and lost all the new Jedi trainees because of my nephew. I felt responsible. When I realized he was coming after me, I ran. I knew I had to think of some plan, but there was one important thing I forgot, you."
It was getting harder to speak, but he said all of it anyway. The hardest part was yet to come, but he had to prepare her for it.
"Me? Why me? What do I have to do with all this?" asked Rey, holding out her hands, palms up.
"The Force is strong in my family. My father has it. I have it. My sister has it. You have that power, too," said Luke, looking her in the eyes.
Rey blinked as she processed what he was saying. Then, she gasped.
"So you're saying that the reason why I have the Force is becauseā¦. I'm your daughter?"
"Yes. I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, but I didn't want you to get distracted or feel let down by me-"
"Never," said Rey, pulling him into her arms. "I'd never be ashamed of my father, no matter what his choices. Disappointed and confused, yes."
"I didn't mean to leave you and your mother behind, honest. But the First Order beat me to you, and then you disappeared. I made some horrible mistakes during that time, and I compounded them by exiling myself. I'm sorry."
"I'm just glad to have you back at last," said Rey, her voice happy and light between tears. "I never expected it to be you, but I'm proud to have you."
For some time, the two just held one another, finally giving way to feelings that had grown naturally over the course of training. At long last, she had family; her past made sense. Now she could look at the future. He had finally faced his mistakes and past, and now his future seemed brighter.
"You'll never be alone again, Rey. I'm always here, in body and in spirit, thanks to the Force. Remember that," he whispered into her hair.
"And you remember that love is stronger than hate."
For a moment, he smiled. One day, she would be the fiercest Jedi there ever was. He had never been more proud of his daughter.
"Always."
Their futures were still uncertain, but they would go into future battles together, and never be separated again. For the present, they had their training, and they would do just that.
~-SW-~
Author's Notes: Well, that went a little more angsty than I intended, but that's Daddy Daughter bonding for you, with large doses of speculation. I hope it was believable for their characters; it made sense to me. Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed!
