It was a dark, hot, lonely summer night down in the Bikini Bottom. Spongebob was laying in bed, uncomfortable and itchy under his blankets. The dank pineapple bedroom was musty and moist. He tossed and turned, trying to fall asleep, until it was 1:00 AM.
"Fuck this... I'm gonna go get turnt" he grumbled, and threw his blankets off of himself. He opened up his dresser in which he keeps all his recreational activities, and pulled out his bong and his baggie of that sweet sweet Mary J. He didn't have to fill it up with water, since he was literally underwater, so he just stuffed some kush into the bowl, grabbed his lighter, and took a huge hit. "Fuck!" he yelled. "That's some good weed, Gary!"
"Meow" Gary said, and Spongebob understood him perfectly.
"Alright my nigga, I'll pass the bong" Spongebob passed the bong over to Gary, and he took a huge drag. He instantly passed out. "I need more, man!" Spongebob yelled, and ran down to the kitchen. He plugged in his blender and put all the marijuana and some vodka in there, and blended it into a liquid. He went back to his activities trunk and pulled out his syringe that he usually uses for heroin. He borrowed it from Patrick, so he wasn't sure if he had AIDS or not.
"M-meow... mrroowwwww..." Gary weakly groaned, slumped over and foaming from the mouth.
"Sh-shut the fuck up Gary! It's not a bad idea you fucking cuck!" Spongebob yelled, kicked Gary, and put all of his marijuana solution into the syringe. "I'm sorry for kicking you Gary, so I'll let you go first. Time to shoot up!" he injected the weed into Gary's stomach under his shell, and Gary fucking exploded. "Fuck!" Spongebob fell onto his knees, blood splattered all over his clothes and the floor, tears swelling up in his eyes. "You... you were always a fucking lightweight, Gary..." Spongebob laughed hollowly, devoid of any emotion. His life had come to an end. It was time to reach cloud nine, time to transcend humanity. He drew a cross on the ground with Gary's blood and prayed to Jesus, and injected the weed into his arm. He died shortly after.
