What Lady Mary wants
Summary: It's the night of Sybil's ball and a night for answers. Matthew's been waiting patiently for weeks now after all. Set after "Turning tables".
A/n: And so my time line is officially shot and my stories are no longer chronologically, but all part of my Downtonverse. In any case I thank every one of my readers to have done exactly that and especially those who dropped a line to me.
Disclaimer: Not mine, but JF's and the production company's and probably a bunch of others' I have no knowledge about.
Their hands brushed against each other in passing, exchanging secret signals.
A couple of minutes later she excused herself from her conversational partner and meandered slowly yet purposefully towards the library of Grantham House. Glancing around to make sure no eyes were on her, she stepped swiftly in and closed the door quietly behind her. She had only taken one step forward, before she was whisked to the side, into even deeper darkness.
Breathlessly she fell into his arms.
"Hello, Romeo."
"Hello, Juliet."
They smiled softly. Matthew gave her waist a slight squeeze.
"Oh God, I'm so, so glad you're here, Eleanor. You have no idea how glad." He sighed into her ear. "I think I'm officially going mad."
She patted his back comfortingly, before she stepped out of his embrace and sat down in a comfy chair next to the unlit fire-place before she invited him to sit down across from her in another plush chair.
"Alright, Crawley, what have you done this time? And how cross is she with you?"
He chuckled ruefully.
"Elli, I think I've done the single most stupid thing in my entire life."
She gasped dramatically; her right hand clutched her dress over her heart. "You got drunk and proposed to Edith!"
"No!" Involuntarily Matthew smiled amused at her antics.
"Then you proposed to Sybil, sober."
"Noo…"
"Okay, these are the most stupid things I can imagine you could have done since taking that idiotic chastity vow. But seriously, what did you do?"
"I kissed Mary."
"Good for you. Frankly speaking, it was about time you released some of that sexual tension between you before you both explode."
"ELEANOR!"
"What? Not talking about it doesn't make it less true or real. Now stop being a prude for appearance's sake and tell me, why you're panicking over it. Wasn't it good?"
"Of course it was! It's Mary." He blushed so heavily that Eleanor could see his darkening face even in the darkness.
"Then what's the problem? You're good at it."
"Thanks, I think."
She reached out to him and gave his hand a squeeze.
"Now, why do I think that's not all you did? Do you want to tell me the whole story?" She settled back into her chair.
"Remember, what you said in your last letter? I shall be more assertive with Mary?"
She nodded.
"I think, I ... I took your advice right over the top."
"Matthew, quit stalling and just tell me! I can't help you otherwise. We don't have much time before we're missed."
Taking a deep breath he told his friend about the night he became Sybil's knight in shining armour, trashed Mary's character, proposed to her after a fashion and kissed the girl for deserts.
When he finished Eleanor kept silent for a few moments.
"You're right. That is the single most stupid thing you've probably ever done! For crying out loud, why don't you both ever listen to me!? I said be assertive, not hand the reigns over to her!"
"I, I thought…"
"You clearly didn't."
"Eleanor, if I want to be berated, I go talk to Mother." He flared up.
"Have you any idea yet what you're going to do now?" She tried to steer the ship back into calmer waters.
"I thought….Some dancing, maybe? Only I have already danced with her the one I'm allowed to this evening. Though it doesn't necessarily have to be in the ball-room, I suppose." Matthew smiled timidly, getting back some of his flickering confidence, that was severely beaten by Mary's continued silence on his almost-marriage proposal.
"Dancing is good. You have real chemistry on the dance-floor."
"And then… "
"Yes?"
"I'm going to tell her I'm tiring of waiting for her to make up her mind. I thought, if I let her choose, if I show her that I respect her decisions and wishes, while letting her know that I'm not going to wait for her forever, then she will think more about me, us and… One way or the other, I would, I could be sure of her. That she chooses me, plain middle-class lawyer from Manchester on her free will and not simply to heed her parents' wishes to make things tidy and convenient for the family. And if she turns me down, then at least I know where I stand and can try to forget her instead of keeping hanging over this maddening abyss, waiting for her. Really, Elli, I can't take much more. I want her so much to be my wife… some mornings I wake up and roll over expecting to find her next to me and but then her side of the bed is empty like every morning… I love her." He ended on a quiet but passionate note.
Lady Eleanor started pacing, thinking furiously. One had never had a moment's peace with these two stubborn and proud creatures and if she didn't love them to pieces, she would have turned her back on them the very moment she met Matthew Crawley again in his new position as heir, who was so obviously hurting over her dear friend Mary, who got in a cat fight with her sister and turned her full charms on Sir Anthony…. That was water under the bridge and completely irrelevant at this moment.
"Stop wallowing in self-pity and your insecurities! You of all accuse Mary of throwing temper tantrums and feeling sorry for herself, when things don't go her way! Really, it's your least attractive trait and thoroughly annoying. Okay, this is what you're going to do: You march right back into the room, grab Mary by the hand and drag her onto the dance-floor, propriety be damned. She's been sitting quietly and lonely in a corner for most of the evening. A bit of attention from a handsome man never hurts a gal."
"Yeah, I've been wondering why. Usually she's surrounded by a flock of eager men." Matthew injected bitterly. "
Eleanor sighed. This was an entirely different can of worms and not one she wanted to open with him.
"You go and get her. Ask her, if she has come to any conclusion about the rest of her life. Ask her, why she hasn't knocked on your door yet. Tell her your offer is still on the table. And Matthew… this time listen to her very carefully when she answers. Do you understand? Keep your temper, pride and stubbornness under control!"
Confused Matthew nodded.
"Good."
Eleanor stepped closer again and adjusted the impeccably bound bow-tie.
"Now go and get your girl, tiger." She stood on tip-toes to peck him softly.
"Oh! Excuse me."
Mary icy voice disrupted the affectionate moment between two friends before she shut the door forcefully behind her again. Belatedly they sprang apart.
"Mary…Oh god." Helplessly Matthew ran his hand through his hair. This was not supposed to happen!
Wide-eyed Eleanor looked back at him. 'What now?' clearly readable in her green eyes.
"I shall go talk to her." She offered.
"No, I go. But thanks anyway."
"Matthew… she wouldn't be so upset, if she didn't have feelings for you."
"I know, but that doesn't make it any easier."
"I guess not. "
Taking a deep breath, Matthew stepped out of the room and back into the ball-room. A quick scan showed him Mary wasn't there. He passed William in the hallway carrying a tray of filled champagne flutes.
"Have you seen Lady Mary, William?"
"Yes, Mr. Crawley. She went upstairs."
"Thank you." Matthew turned around to head rather quickly to the grand staircase for the upstairs floor.
Tbc...
