He stared at the open document on his computer screen. Blank. Nothing. He had absolutely nothing. Placing the glass to his lips, he gave a long drawn out sigh through his nose at his lack of progress. His soft brown gaze stared down the blinking cursor as his expression furrowed in agitation. It was mocking him.
He'd never had a block this bad before. And as he thought of what he was going to tell his editor when she asked for the first draft, he gave another sigh. He had cried wolf too many times for her to actually believe that he had nothing to give her.
"Okay, then..." He sighed to himself. "Here we go." And his fingers set to work on the keyboard.
Her pale skin trembled under the gentle touch of his fingers as his lips met hers in a passionate kiss, taking her breath away. Panting and gasping between kisses and caresses she felt herself losing all control as
And exasperated sigh escaped his lips as the words were swept away with the stroke of the delete button. Try again.
His blood boiled over at seeing her dressed as she was. Begging for what he wanted to give her. What he wanted to do to her.
"Dammit." The low hiss passed his lips as the words were swept away again with all the fury his fingers possessed.
Something was definitely bothering him. And he knew what it was. Because it was always the same thing. Always her. She had always hated his novels. Saying that they were condescending and unrealistic...just like him. Fake. Romanticized and childish. The world never worked out the way it was written in his books, she would complain. Love never worked out that way...to be more accurate. And, honestly, that was something they had in common. Though he would never admit that to her.
Taking another, larger sip of his glass, he set to work. If reality was what she wanted, he would give it to her.
'Have you slept with her yet?' Her voice came condescending, only making me want to take her all the more.
'That would be rather difficult.' I responded nonchalant, knowing it would only piss her off.
'Well...I thought you had no problem getting between a woman's legs.' She spat, becoming more frustrated, and it was all I could do to keep myself from throwing her against the wall and having my way with her.
'What is this really about, Akito?' I asked, taking in her expression of cold rage, but I already knew what this was about.
'You know exactly what this is about!' She shrieked...yep...I knew. 'How could you do this to me, Shigure?!' She cried. 'How could you sleep with her?! How could you sleep with the woman I HATE?!' And this dagger stabbed at my heart...she certainly wasn't holding any punches.
'Don't forget that it was you who betrayed me first.' I stated bluntly, temporarily halting her rage. 'You slept with Kureno...' I threw that fact right in her face...if she wanted to play dirty, then we would play dirty.
'If I want to sleep with Kureno, I will sleep with Kureno!' She screamed, finally finding herself again in the midst of our lover's quarrel. 'But you knew, Shigure! You KNEW how much it would hurt me when you slept with her! Why would you DO that to me?!' She cried...and again, my heart was torn open.
So...I had told her. Told her that when I had slept with her mother that it was only because her mother reminded me of her. Of our love. Of what she might be like if she were allowed to be herself. To be a woman. To be MY woman. And...honestly...I couldn't believe that she had actually bought that lie. Hook. Line. And sinker. Because... The truth? Well... The truth was way more simple than that.
I was hurt. And angry. She had taken someone else into her bed. How could I NOT be angry? Call me selfish, but, I wanted to get back at her for hurting me. At any cost. But...when I saw what that brought me. Well...maybe I had second thoughts. Regrets, perhaps.
But all of those doubts passed away into distant memory as she threw herself on me. And right there and then, I had a choice to make. Should I leave things as they were? Continue this toxic love that we shared? Hurting each other just to drive the other into our arms. Did I really want this? Want her?
Looking down into her face, I had my answer. Her pain. Her agony. Her rage and hatred. I wanted all of it. Everything about her, I wanted. Fully and completely. And so I gave myself to her. Gave her everything. Again. Without hesitation...because...it was what we both wanted.
What can I say...I'm a masochist.
He sighed as he finished what was left of his drink...a slow smile playing across his face as he saved and closed the document. He would have to change the names in the morning.
The End
