A complementary story from Battle of the Bulge. If you're retired and your wife puts you on a diet and you suddenly find yourself back in time…There is only one thing to do…Eat!
Future Jack
1995
The Klaxons sounded and newly assigned General George Hammond came to the control room, "Who is it, Harriman?"
Walter the technician replied, "I'm picking up SG-'s signal sir."
"SG-1 isn't out," he insisted.
"They're not out sir," he confirmed.
Hammond watched as security forces entered the Gate room. As he waited for his men to be in place SG-1 came to the control room led by Colonel O'Neill.
Colonel Jack O'Neill asked, "Who's knocking?"
"SG-1," Hammond informed. "Lower the iris."
Walter lowered the iris and out of the event horizon walked a much older version of Jack O'Neill holding a small dog in one arm. He wore green DBU's and his hair was white. He sported a goatee and looked rather confused.
Retired Major General Jack O'Neill asked, "Where did everybody go?" He looked at the men, "What's with the welcoming committee?"
Colonel Jack O'Neill looked down from the control room, "Is that fat old guy me?"
Sam gathered, "He looks like you."
Hammond led SG-1 down to the Gate room, he huffed, "Lower your weapons."
General O'Neill spotted George Hammond walking towards him. Immediately he knew something was wrong for Hammond had passed away nearly eight years ago. Behind Hammond were SG-1 and much younger version of himself. Jack held the small poodle close, "Be good, Gigi."
Hammond walked up the ramp and stood before Jack. He spotted the two stars on the shoulders. He paused for a moment, "General O'Neill?"
"Hey George," he smiled at him a bit nervous. He spotted his younger self walking towards him, "Oh' look, there's me."
Sam, Daniel and Teal'c soon gathered around while Colonel O'Neill stood at the end of the ramp unsure if he wanted to approach his older self.
Hammond asked, "Do you know what happened?"
"Beats me," older Jack replied. "I was off world for a special mission. I think I activated something."
Colonel O'Neill looked at him, "You're me!"
General O'Neill retorted, "No shit, Sherlock."
Daniel asked, "Jack? You look…"
"Fatter?" he asked amused.
"I was going to say older," the younger man replied.
Colonel O'Neill asked, "Why am I coming through the Gate looking like a man in his sixties and holding a poodle?"
General O'Neill asked, "Just out of curiosity, what year is it?"
Sam spoke up, "It's nineteen ninety-five…Sir."
Jack looked a bit down, "That's twenty years. It's two thousand and fifteen."
Sam assured him, "We will figure this out and send you back to your own time, sir."
Jack smiled at her, "I'm retired! You can call me by my first name. I was off world for a special mission and something happened."
Hammond asked, "What was this mission, General?"
He explained, "A drug cartel infiltrated the SGC. It was a mess." He walked down the ramp and looked at his younger self. "What?"
Colonel O'Neill made a face, "You're me."
Jack replied, "I realize this is all new for you and all…But stranger things will happen."
Sam warned him, "You can't tell us what you know. You could disrupt the timeline."
Jack waved his hand, "I'm sure we did a few times anyways. Um, until Sam figures out how to send me back…My dog will need some food, water and needs to be walked."
Colonel O'Neill asked baffled, "You really own a poodle?"
Jack grinned and proclaimed, "Oh' it's worse than that. I'm a pet parent!"
Colonel O'Neill stood with his head spinning, "I don't even like poodles."
"But this is one is cool," he countered. "She bites people."
He warned, "If that thing bites me…"
Jack shook his finger in his face, "You hurt my dog and I will kick your ass."
Colonel O'Neill challenged, "Really? Your twenty years older than me."
Jack smirked at him, "Age and treachery beats youth and vigor every time."
Colonel O'Neill asked, "Why are you calling Carter by her first name…Sir?"
"Because I can," he grinned.
The Colonel asked, "What's with the crap on your face?"
He repeated, "I'm retired. I'm sixty-six years old and I have a few goals in life left. One is to look like Colonel Sanders."
Daniel couldn't help but ask, "Why do you want to look like Colonel Sanders, Jack?"
"So I can get free Kentucky fried chicken," he explained.
Hammond found older Jack to be absolutely hilarious and tried very hard to keep from laughing. He informed, "I will have you cleared by Dr. Fraiser and then we will get you set up in a room for you and your dog until Captain Cater can find a way to send you home, General."
Jack looked about, "It will be nice to see Fraiser again."
Colonel O'Neill asked, "I take you two are buddy-buddy in the future?"
Jack snorted, "Kind of hard to be buddy-buddy when they are dead."
"What?" asked Sam a bit shaken.
"Not for years," he told her.
"You can't tell us what you know," she warned him.
He rolled his eyes, "Whatever."
Short Time Later
General Jack O'Neill was cleared through medical and given a room to stay in while SG-1 had dialed out to go the off world site that Jack came from looking for clues. They found little and returned home with no idea how to send him back.
As they walked back to the SGC through the Gate, Daniel looked at the Colonel and stated, "That has to be a head trip to see yourself twenty years from now, Jack."
"I'm a senile old coot," he huffed.
Daniel told him, "In twenty years from now none of us will be all that young."
He complained, "I'm a pet parent to a poodle."
Sam smiled, "I think the poodle is cute."
"She bites people, Carter!" he reminded.
"I bet she wouldn't bite me," she told him. "I'm really good with animals."
General Hammond walked back into the Gate room and spoke to SG-1, "Find anything?"
"Whatever he activated is beyond anything I have seen before," Sam explained. "This will take time."
"Keep me informed," Hammond replied.
Colonel O'Neill asked, "Where is the old coot?"
"He's in the commissary," he replied. "He mentioned something about his wife putting him a diet."
The Colonel gasped, "He's married! That old coot is married?"
"He has a ring on his finger," Hammond informed.
The Colonel asked, "Who the hell do I marry?"
"He wouldn't say," he smiled at him. He looked at his watch, "I promised Jack to have lunch with him."
The Colonel stood shocked, "You're on first name bases with him?"
The General replied, "You're much more fun when you're older." He walked out of the Gate room towards the commissary to meet up with General O'Neill.
Commissary
General Jack O'Neill found himself in a unique situation. Not only was he back in the past but his future wife had no idea she was his wife and he could eat whatever he wanted. Jack found himself eating a very large piece of cake.
George Hammond entered the commissary and found Jack. He gathered his lunch and walked over and sat down with him. It was odd for now Jack was older then he and outranked him.
"I see you are enjoying that cake," Hammond gathered.
Jack nodded, "Almost as good as Daniel's cake. Did you know that a chef taught Daniel how to cook?"
Hammond dug at his salad, "No."
"Yeah, he was in college and working in kitchens to help pay his way. He worked in this one place and chef taught him how to actually cook." Jack took a sip of coffee as he finished his vanilla cake. "The guy can cook anything: Steaks, chicken, pancakes, pies, he made these things for breakfast when we were on vacation in Florida…Popovers. They were good!"
"Who would have thought Dr. Jackson was trained by a professional chef?" chuckled George. "So tell me, Jack. I know you can't tell me future events but I just want to make sure you're okay in the future."
"My wife put my on diet," he complained. "Then we found the SGC was infiltrated by a drug cartel and SG-1 was called up to help sort that mess out."
"All of SG-1?" asked Hammond.
"All four of us," he confirmed. "Daniel, Sam and T."
Hammond wondered, "What are their lives like in the future?"
"Teal'c loves golf and is trying to go professional. Daniel is retired and so is Sam. Sam will make Brigadier General before she retires." he informed.
"I knew she had it in her," he smiled. "Dr. Frasier won't make it?"
He shook his head, "No…But it won't be for some time…Years from now. It's good seeing you again, George."
Hammond asked, "Do I make it to retirement?"
"Yes you do," he told him. George passed away of natural causes a few years after retirement and Jack simply decided it was best if Hammond didn't know that. "You have a great retirement."
Hammond smiled, "You seem to have a good retirement going. Married, a little dog and you even got SG-1 back for one mission. That's pretty good, Jack."
"Yeah, it is." he agreed.
Hammond couldn't help but ask, "Do I know your future wife?"
"You do know her," he admitted.
"Who is she?" he wondered.
Jack looked around and kept his voice low, "Carter."
Hammond looked alarmed.
"Don't worry! Nothing happens under your command. It was after I was promoted and went to the Pentagon. We got married six years ago. Then she took early retirement and put my ass on a diet." Jack then added, "We moved to Virginia and Sam was out one morning jogging when she was attacked by the dog. The owner was sick and had a stroke. Her son was gonna have the dog put down and Sam volunteered to take care of her. Then that little poodle adopted me and she's been my dog ever since."
George chuckled, "That little poodle bit Captain Carter."
"Right in Achilles," he nodded.
Hammond wondered, "What are gonna do while you are here?"
Jack shrugged, "Harass my younger self? Funny, I don't recall ever meeting myself as old man before."
Hammond reminded him, "You said stranger things will happen."
"Alternate realities, time travel…Oh' wait…That's just happened…Again!" he soured.
"You've lived an interesting life, General." Hammond told him.
"So will you." He looked up at the desert bar, "I think I will have pie now."
"You just ate cake," Hammond reminded him.
"What's the point on being on a diet of you can't cheat?" asked Jack.
Short Time Later
Colonel O'Neill had walked into the commissary for lunch. He spotted his older self eating pudding. He took a seat across from him and asked, "What are you eating?"
"Tapioca pudding," he grinned.
The Colonel snorted, "When did you start eating that?"
He pondered, "A few years ago. Sam likes it. She got me hooked."
"Carter?" he asked unsure. "The blue gelatin queen?"
He nodded, "She's only eating that because she's on a diet. You ever notice how she eats the sugar free stuff?"
"Nope," he admitted he didn't notice.
Jack looked at his younger self, "You're such a dip shit."
"Excuse me?" he huffed.
Old Jack replied, "Hey, I'm you. I know just how big of a dip shit you really are."
He crossed his arms, "And how big of a dip shit am I?"
Old Jack placed his hands wide apart, "This big of a dip shit." He smirked at him and spotted as Sam entered the commissary with Daniel behind. He placed his hands down and mentioned to his younger self, "She was hot when she was a young captain."
Colonel O'Neill turned half around and spotted the pair walk in and go to the lunch line. He looked back, "You're an old pervert."
He shrugged, "I can be."
The Colonel asked, "Who did you marry?"
Old Jack decided to have some fun with himself and smirked, "Daniel."
The Colonel cocked and eyebrow, "You're kidding, right?"
Old Jack informed, "They do lift the ban."
Young Jack huffed, "I would marry Teal'c before I married Daniel."
Old Jack smiled, "You can't even tell that I'm pulling your leg."
He growled, "Alright, what's with the dog?"
He shrugged, "I adopted a dog."
"It's a poodle," the Colonel countered. "That's not even a real dog."
Older Jack simply smirked back at him.
"Why not get a Lab?" the Colonel asked. "I like Labs!"
"Maybe I will get one," he pondered. "Maybe I'll get back home and buy a farm and have all sorts of animals."
Colonel O'Neill cocked his head and wondered, "Was your brain melted at some point in the future?"
Sam approached the table, "Sirs." She smiled at old Jack for she simply found him adorable at that age. He looked like a kindly old gentleman.
Colonel O'Neill replied, "Carter."
"Mind if I have a seat?" she asked for permission to sit with them.
Older Jack motioned, "Sit!"
Colonel O'Neill rebutted, "We're having a private conversation, Carter."
The General pulled rank, "I out rank him and I say you should sit down with us…Sam."
"Yes sir," the young captain took a seat. She noticed the pudding, "You like tapioca pudding sir?"
The Colonel huffed, "No."
Old Jack smiled at her, "Love the stuff. You got me to try it."
She blushed, "I'm glad I got you to try something new."
Daniel took a seat at the table next. He too seemed to like the older version of Jack better for that version was far more relaxed over all. He smiled, "Jack…Jack," he picked up the sandwich, "Well, let's try the egg salad today."
Old Jack informed, "It's not nearly as good as yours."
Daniel asked, "I made you egg salad?"
He replied, "You made me and my wife egg salad when you came to visit us. You put black olives in it and used real mayo. That was good."
"That's how I make egg salad," Daniel admitted.
Old Jack had to confess, "You know something?"
Daniel asked, "What?"
"The mac and cheese really taste like chicken, doesn't it?"
Daniel nodded, "Yup."
Colonel O'Neill asked, "Just when did you become such a foodie?"
"When I retired," he admitted. "Before that I didn't have the time."
The Colonel shook his head and miffed, "I'm never retiring."
Hours Later
It was night and many had turned in for bed. Old Jack walked the halls with his poodle on a leash after taking her outside to play and go potty. As he walked back to his room he spotted Sam in the hall.
"Sir," she greeted him.
He reminded her, "I'm retired."
"I know," she blushed. "It's hard to call you by your first name when you're also a Major General. I was wondering, about Janet…Is there anything we can do to…"
He shook his head, "No…There isn't."
"You sure?" she asked concerned.
He nodded but told her, "I'm sure. But it wasn't in vain and life goes on. You do get past it."
She gave him a small smile and told him, "I don't know who you eventually marry but she is so lucky to have you."
He gave a haphazard grin, "I'll have to make sure she remembers that."
"Heading to bed?" she asked.
"Yeah, I'm heading to bed." he told her.
"See you in the morning, sir."
"See ya then," he agreed and watched as she walked away. He looked down at his dog, "Mommy was hot when she was younger." The little dog looked up at him. "That was mommy." He bent down and picked the poodle up and then walked into his room carrying his little dog.
Next Morning
SG-1 met with Hammond in the briefing room to discuss what to do with their guest. Hammond looked over the team and stated, "How close are we to finding what went wrong?"
"I have to go back and run more test on the site," Sam stated. "I need more data."
The Colonel huffed, "Sooner we send that old coot back the better."
Daniel smirked, "Did future Jack tell something you didn't like, Jack?"
"I can't repeat it," he muttered.
Teal'c found the older version of Jack rather entertaining and was ever so relieved it was an older version of Jack who came through and not some older version of SG-1. "It could be worse." he suggested.
The Colonel asked, "How so?"
"All of SG-1 could have come back in time," he stated. He went to sip his coffee and Klaxons sounded. His worse fear was about to come true.
Hammond got up from his chair and walked into the control room, "Airman?"
Walter stated, "It's SG-1, sir."
"Lower the iris," he ordered.
The iris lowered and Hammond and SG-1 looked on as an older version of Sam, Daniel and Teal'c came through the Gate.
Sam looked on at herself, "That's me. I'm in my fifties."
"So am I," added Daniel.
Teal'c admitted, "I look the same."
Colonel O'Neill huffed, "Helps having a nine hundred year life span."
They walked down to the Gate room to greet their future selves.
Older Sam looked at her young self and let out a sigh, "Where is he?"
The Captain asked, "You mean General O'Neill?"
She nodded, "That's the one!" She looked on at Colonel O'Neill, "I'm afraid to ask what he told you about the future."
He huffed, "He didn't tell me much of anything. He won't even tell me who I marry."
Older Daniel smirked, "That's a change. I thought for sure he would be blabbing to everyone about everything."
Captain Carter assured him, "I warned him not to disrupt the timeline."
Older Daniel laughed, "How many times did we screw that up?"
Older Sam admitted, "I lost count. Just tell me where he is. We fixed the issue on the site. We can take him back home."
General Hammond reported, "He's in the commissary having breakfast."
Older Sam looked at him, "Thank you…For everything."
The General gave a nod, "You welcome, General."
The Captain then spotted the single star on the uniform and gasped, "I make General."
"Yes," older Sam told her. She then walked by the young SG-1 with older Daniel and Teal'c in tow. She headed to the commissary to retrieve her husband.
Commissary
General O'Neill sat in the commissary about to eat a bowl of Fruit Loops. He got the first delicious spoonful into his mouth when his wife caught up with him.
"You're not really gonna eat that," his wife snorted from afar.
He looked up and spotted his older friends coming towards him and he quickly began to eat. Oh' his diet respite was about to come to an abrupt end.
She snatched the half empty cereal bowl, "Give it."
"Oh' come on, Carter!" he huffed. "I was eating that!"
"I know for a fact you spent the last day pigging out," she rebutted. "I fixed the issue on the site and we can all go back home now."
Captain Carter asked, "What was wrong with it? I was trouble trying reverse what he did."
General Carter-O'Neill explained, "It's a device we found years ago of Ancient origin that allowed for time travel. We thought we have it permanently disabled but since Jack has the Ancient gene he can still turn things on." She waved for him to follow, "Come on! Time to go."
"But I just got here," he complained. "They have lemon pie today."
"Which is why we are leaving now," she told him. "Where's the dog?"
Hammond spoke up, "She's been sleeping in my office this morning. Cute little dog. I always liked poodles."
Jack added, "The only person she likes better than me is him. She spent all morning with George."
Older Daniel spoke up, "Great you want her, George?"
"I'm afraid I can't," he replied. "The SGC is no place for a dog."
Colonel O'Neill asked, "Why was that dog going with him off world?"
Older Sam explained, "We were called for an emergency and didn't have any place to put the dog. So, we just brought her with us."
The Colonel asked, "Do you really think was wise?"
She smiled, "That was your call…I mean his call. You two can debate that." She hauled older Jack up by his arm, "Come on…Time to go home now."
He grudgingly left and muttered, "When did you turn into such a Napoleon Power Monger?"
"When I made General," she huffed back as she hauled him out of the commissary. She spoke to Hammond, "Just dial the Gate to where we came. I got it from there."
"Will do, General." he nodded and then went to retrieve the dog.
Short Time Later
Young SG-1 stood in the control room as they watched their older selves got back through the Gate with the dog. The Gate dissipated and that was the end of seeing a glimpse of their future.
Sam smiled to herself, "I make General eventually."
Hammond told her, "I always knew you had it in you."
Daniel gathered, "I don't look bad for a guy in his fifties."
Teal'c agreed, "Indeed."
All eyes settled on Jack.
"What?" he asked not amused.
Sam told him, "I think you are gonna have a great life, sir."
Jack shifted his weight and admitted, "I'm still raking my brain trying to figure out who I marry."
Daniel, Sam, Teal'c and Hammond all traded glances for it didn't take much to figure out just who his future wife was from the verbal exchange in the commissary.
Daniel smirked, "Maybe you married Teal'c?"
He muttered, "That fat bastard would not tell me who I will marry."
Sam asked, "And why is knowing so important to you?"
Jack admitted, "Because whoever put up with that old coot is a keeper." He sighed, "I can't believe that was me."
Daniel grinned at him, "I like future Jack. I think he's gonna be a lot of fun!"
The End
