he sat on his bed. His crazy ass father had once again hit him for absolutely no reason. While his also drunk mother was passed out in her room. Even if she wasnt passed out and heard the fight, she wouldnt have done anything. And if she had, she would have only fought with his dad or hit him, or his borther or sister.

He just couldnt handle it anymore. He tries to protect his siblings but its hard to do so when your sister will go out with guys at age 14, and doing who the hell knows what. And his brother, he isnt even going to try on him. He has become one huge dick the past couple years and diddnt even talk to anyone. Why he still lived under this roof He would never understand.

But that was life for Kenny McCormick.

His friends diddnt give a fuck about him. Neither did his fellow classsmates, teachers, neighbors, anyone. He was just the poor kid who would do crazy things for money. And even then, the money goes to his family.

He had a curse too. He couldnt die. Well he could but he would always come back, and then no one would even rememeber he died. It hurt. He always wondered if it was worth it to keep living. and even if he did try to kill himself he would still come back. few years ago his parents told him what happens when he died. They just diddnt know it happened when he died. They diddnt know that he's ever died.

He use to wonder, that maybe if his mother was dead and he died he wouldnt come back because she wouldnt be there to give birth to him again. But he wasnt a murderer. So when she got her tubes tied he had wanted to try it out for a long time now.

He looked at his bedroom door. It was locked, which only happened because he had fixed the lock himself a couple months ago. He looked around his bedroom. He diddnt really like the room. It was always dirty, it had cracks in the walls that let a breeze come in. His usual orange parka, that he still suprisingly fit it, was laying on the floor near the door. It looked tatter and worn out. It had stains of blood dirt, and whatnot, ripps and cuts, but He still loved it.

He stood up and walked to his broken dresser. He opened the bottom drawer to find some random clothes. He moved them and relvealed a secret stash of porno magazines, a little bit of cash for emergencies, some meth he had taken from his parents, His old Mysterion costume, and a bottle of pills that he had taken from his older brother years before. He couldnt remember what they did, but he grabbed the bottle and the money and shut the drawer.

He grabbed his parka and walked out of the room. He put the parka on, not zipping it up yet and walked to his younger sisters room. He knocked and heard a faint "come in"

He opened the door and saw his younger sister on her bed looking at a magazine. She looked up to see him, "Oh hey Kenny. What do you want?"

He walked over to her and sat on her bed next to her, "Karen, i wanted to say that i love you,"

She looked at him wierdly, "i know Ken, i love you too."

Kenny shook his head, "No i mean i really love you. No matter what those rude girls think, no matter what any guy thinks, no matter what out parents say, i want you to know that you are perfect the way you are. You are beautiful, funny and way too kind for your own good. Dont mess up your life like Kevin did and dont repeat what mom and dad did. Be better than them, and get out of this hell hole for me okay?"

She looked at him suprised, but still nodded, "Sure Kenny. Whats brought this on?"

The blond boy sighed, "Just rememebr that okay? Oh and here is some money ive been saving. I want you to have it. There is 300 dollars, keep it safe and away from the others,"

Karen looked at the money, "What? Kenny, this is the money youve been saving since you were ten years old. You were gonna buy a house away from here and we would live together away from everyone else. Why are you giving it to me?"

Kenny shoved the money into her hand, "Im sorry Karen but i wont be able to do that. You can though. Buy a nice house out of this neighborhood, out of this town if you can, and live your life. I wont be able to be there with you though,"

Karen looked at her brother worriedly, "Why wouldnt you be there Kenny? Where are you going?"

Kenny stood and looked away from his sister, afraid to see the look on her face. He held back a tear, "Im going away. Dont tell mom or dad, theyll find out soon enough. Remember what i said though. I love you Karen,"

He walked out of the room leaving the confused girl sitting there trying to figure out just what the hell and happened.

He walked down the stairs, filled a bottle with water from the sink, and left the house. He diddnt even look back. The place was worse than hell was.

he walked down the street to Starks pond. he sat in the snow and looked out to the pond. It was still and silent. Kenny liked the silence. He closed hid eyes and tilted his head in relaxation.

Hes sighed and pulled out his phone. He made a group conversation with his closest friends, Stan, Kyle, Butters and Craig. Cartman wouldnt give a damn and would just say that it was about time, and none of the others would have really cared.

KM:Hey guys...

KB: hey kenny wats up?

SM: hey dude

BS: hello kenny what a nice suprise

CT: wat do u want McCormick?

KM: i just wanted to thank you guys for being my friends,

BS: awww why kenny thats sweet of ya i like being ur friend too:)

SM:dude u dont have ta thnk us,

CT: whoever said i was ur friend?

KB:is somethin wrong ken?

KM: wat? oh, no... im fine :p and i think of u as a friend craig, and thx butters

CT:watever, ig we r friends -_-

BS: is there a reason u wanted to thnk us kenny?

SM: yh this is kind not ur thing dude

KB:seriously ken, wwats up?

KM:nothing jeez, i just wanted to tell u that u guys r liek meh best frands

KB:Kenny, we already know this

SM: kyles right dude, we think of u as one of our best friends too

BS:^3^ kenny im happy you think of me as one of ur best friends

CT:this is gay

KM: well thats all i wanted to say guys...

SM: kenny dude, serously r u okay? do u wnat me to cum over?

KM:no im okay, ive g2g, bye guys

BS:k kenny see u at school!;)

SM:... ok, see ya l8r ken...

CT:Dont do anything too stupid, latr

KB:...

KB: kenny, can u please tell me whats wrong?

KM: ive told u, im fine, i just been thinkin lot latly

KB: okay, well my moms calling me, ill text u later k?

KM:... sure kyle, u do that.

Kenny shut off his phone and put it back into his pocket, and took out the pills. He read the warning label. It said to only take 3 a day, over dosage can lead to the following: Inner bleeding, migranes, constipation, loss of appatite, liver problems, glocoma.

Kenny ignored them and opened the bottle. He saw it almost completely full of tiny pills. About 60, 70 pills were in the container. That was enough for Kenny to do what he was going to.

He look out the bottle of water, and opened it taking a sip. He grimmaced at the coppery taste from the old rusted pipes. He seriously hated that house. He poured some of the pills tinto his hand and popped them into his mouth taking a drink. He kept this up till all the pills were gone. He felt a little light headed and water logged. His headso heavy, and his vision blurred.

His phone lit up. He had gotten a text. He looked at it. It was from Karen.

Karbear: KENNY DONT DO IT! WERE R U ILL COME GET U, PLEASE DONT DO IT. I NEED YOU!, YOUR FRANDS NEED YOU. I CANT DEAL WITH YOU BEING GONE. YOU WERE LIKE A REAL FATHER TOO ME, PLASE DONT DO IT!

Karbear: wait never mind i see you.

Kenny diddnt get to see the last text because he had passed out. His breathing got slower. His eyes were closed. It looked like he was just sleeping. Sleeping in the middle of the snow, at 8:00 at night.

He slowly lost consiousness.

Karen Ran to her older brother. She put his head in her lap. He was ice cold, his lips were turning blue, and his braetyhing was really shallow. Karen cried and held her brother close. She noticed the pill bottle next to him. She stopped for a moment. He still had a chance!

She opened his mouth and stuck her fingers down his throat. Kenny vomited up some, but Karen knew that wasnt enough,a nd stuck her fingers back down his throat. This time Kenny vommited up more.

As he vomited, Karen grabbed his phone and called the fist number she saw.

"hello?" a voice asked, "Kyle? this is Karen McCormick, Kenny sister. i need help right away. Kenny did something really stupid and im scared. Please call the cops and get an abelence down here!" she yelled into the phone. Kenny had become still again. Karen couldt see if he was breathing, "Ok, Listen Karen. im gonna call the cops. just stay with Kenny till we they get there. ill be ther as fast i can,"

Kyle hung upa nd Karen threw the phone down. and grabbed her brother once again. He wasnt breathing. Karen started to cry and wail. She slowly heard police sirens comming her way. She held her brother close and cried into his orange parka.

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When he woke up Kenny layed in a white bed, in a white room, that smelled of anticeptic. He had a tube connected to his arm and a breathing mask on. He looked around and saw Balloons, flowers, cards and even a teddbear on the tables in the room. He noticed a hand in his. He looked down to see a a girl a few years younger than him, with lite brown hair asleep on the edge of the bed.

he took the mask off, "K-karen?" He wispered. It hurt for him to speak. He felt terrible and really hungery. But he ignored it.

He saw his sister's head lift up and look at him. she had a smile on her face, "Kenny! im soo happy you woke up. The doctor sadi tere was a 80% chance you wouldnt,"

She hugged the blond boy, and he hugged back. After they pulled away, she slapped hijm on the arm, "Dont ever do that again okay? You scared the living shit out of me Ken. You should have seen Kyle's face when he saw you. We were all scared. Exspecially when the doctor sadi that you might never wake up from the coma you were in. I wouldnt know what i would do with out you... But the good news is that your alive! Everyone will be so happy!" she went to the door and yelled, "GUYS! HE WOKE UP!"

Kenny could hear all the voices and cheers in the hallway. Karen then came back in followed by, Kyle, Stan, Cartman, Butters, Wendy, Craig, Bebe, and suprisingly, his mom, dad, and brother.

The room was full and kenny felt a little dizzy from so many people.

Kyle came up to him with ytears in his eyes, "Wholly fuck Kenny. I knew something was wrong. Why diddnt you tell us? we could have somehow helped you,"

Kenny closed his eyes and laughed bitterly, it hurt, "Like... any of you would... be able to help... me"

"I felt something was off when you texted us," Stan said.

"Why would you do soemthing so stuipd, Kinny? I mean, i know your poor and shit, and that you probubly dont want to live in that house, but killing yourslef wont help," Cartman said. Thsi suprised Kenny, He expected Cartman to laugh at him and tell him that he should have died.

"Yeah Kenny, we all love you. We wouldnt want you gone,"Wendy said with tears running down her fcae. She and Bebe were hugging eachother.

"You.. have no idea... how many times ive died..." Kenny mummbled.

"What?" Kyle asked sonfused.

Kenny shook his head, "Nothing..."

"Well Kenny im happy you diddnt die. I dont know who would stick up for me, and hang out with me with out you," Butters said rubbing his knuckles together.

"Dude. Im suprised you, of all people would try this. You always seem so happy, no one would think you would want to do this. You are always worried about other people. Yet here you are trying to kill yourself," Craig sadi with a confused look.

This is the most Kenny had ever heard Craig say. it suprised him almost as much as the Cartman thing. Seems like there has just been a bunch of suprises lately huh? Kennny thought.

The teens had stayed with Kenny till they were told that they ahd to leave. Kyle and Stan ahd promised to visist the next day. Once everyone waa gone only his sister and perents were still in the room. He looked at his family. Kevin had left, like Kenny cared. His mom had a blank expression and his dad had a sad look.

Karen looked at her parents with disgust. She couldnt wait to leave. She diddnt care if it was illegal or not, she was taking Kenny and leaving thier srry asses behind.

Their parenst diddnt say anything. After a while kenny closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep till he heard his perents leave.

He opened his eyes to see and empty room. He sighed.

He diddnt know why he tried to kill himself. he had done it before and it diddnt work. Why would it be any diffrent this time? he sighed again and looked at the ceiling closing his eyes.

Maybe the curse diddnt have to do with why he was still alive... maybe he had gotten help just in time? After all everyone seemed to remember that he almost died. He guessed hed just have to try again and see.

i wrote this based on a true event that happened with me. The overdosage part not the whole family thing. I had been having a bad day, i had learned a bunch of crap that i couldnt handle... i took a whole bottle of somekind of medicine i diddnt know. I had passed out for a while then woke up and vomitted my guts out for 3 days sttraight. i literally hadnt moved from the toilet in all those three days. I had probubly only got 3 hour of sleep all that week. And someof the trimes i diddnt even have anything to vomit up. I now cant take pills with out gagging or throwing up. I cant handle the smell of disinfectant either.

I want all those poepl who are thinking about commiting suicide. It is stupid. dont do it. It is just a chain of many deaths. You have a big effect on other peoples lives whether u know it or not. You are just being selfish. im not going to be nice about it either. and i get the right to bacause i had gone through it.

you life matters. you matter.

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so yeah... srry about aerlyer. But its true. anyway, i wanted to tell you all that this is the 1st ending. i will write another ending and you can vote which one you like more okay?

it will only be the ending, where the 'XXXX' start, okay?

but yeah R&R...

love yall ^3^