After the stress of finals week, Kyle was more than ready to relax at home with his laptop, swathed in blankets with a nice cup of white chocolate mocha coffee. It was a gloomy day outside, which wasn't horribly uncommon for their small town given the season. Despite it being Saturday, he planned to stay in all day, hiding away from the outside world. Being in his senior year, he always had things going on that required all his energy. There was basketball, track, mathletes, debate club, and then whatever the guys wanted to drag him along for. He rarely got the chance to just be on his own, and so was relishing not having to stress over classes for the moment. He knew he'd passed his classes, it had been an easy trimester. The only class he'd been worried about was German, but luckily he boyfriend had been there to tutor him.

Thinking of Cartman, Kyle absently reached up to grab the black ring hanging on the chain around his neck, a valentine's day present. He rolled it in his hand, smiling as he remembered how awkward the big lug had been, stammering out a cheesy little speech about magnets and forever. Then he blushed, remembering what occurred after the gift exchange.

Coincidentally, Kyle's phone buzzed beside him. "Hey Cartman." he said, taking a sip of his coffee and scrolling absently.

"What are you doing today?" Cartman asked.

"Absolutely nothing," he replied proudly.

"Really? That's kinda weird for you, Jew." Kyle rolled his eyes.

"Well, what are you doing?" There was a pause, and in that pause Kyle felt his head throb in pain. "Oh God, what did you do?"

"Heh, well, uh, Kenny and I are sorta stuck here in Denver." Another pause, and then he continued, quieter. "In jail."

Kyle heard a faint, "Hey Kyle" in the background.

"Denver? The fuck are you two doing in- no, okay, why are you guys in jail?" he decided on, already shutting his laptop and setting his coffee down on his bedside table, preparing to abandon his day plans.

"It's... kind of a long story. I can tell you when you get here?" Kyle struggled to pull on a pair of sweatpants while still holding his phone in place so he could berate his idiot boyfriend.

"And what makes you think I'm going to waste my Saturday driving to Denver to get you two out of jail?" he asked.

Kyle could hear the smirk in Cartman's voice. "You answered the phone, didn't you?"

"Fuck yourself." he growled, hanging up. Getting dressed, Kyle was thankful that service was already over, because it would have been extremely uncomfortable to call his dad while he was at the synagogue, especially since he himself was not, to help get his boyfriend out of jail. That didn't mean that this was going to be easy though, because he still had to face his mother. Going downstairs, he felt like he was heading towards certain death. He heard Ike's laugh though, so he was comforted in the fact that maybe he'd have someone on his side.

"Oh, Kyle bubbe, Ike told the cutest joke just now." Sheila said, gesturing towards the twelve year old. Ike rolled his eyes but smiled when her eyes landed back on him.

"Yeah, that's great Ma." he cleared his throat. "Hey, uh, Dad, can I talk to you?"
Gerald sighed from his worn down armchair. "What is it, Kyle?"

Kyle tapped his fingers on the stair railing nervously. "In private?"

"What's wrong, Kyle? Are you okay?" Sheila asked, her naturally loud voice doing nothing for his developing headache. Facepalming, Kyle groaned. He figured that he just had to come out with it at this point.

"Dad, can you drive me to Denver? Cartman and Kenny got arrested and-"

"Arrested?" his parents said in unison. Ike made a noise of sympathy for Kyle while Sheila started in on her, 'That Cartman boy is a bad influence' shebang, which had only gotten worse after they started dating. She didn't /hate/ Cartman, she just strongly disliked him. As for Kenny, no one disliked Kenny. It was one of those 'hate the sin, love the sinner' situations. The only friend she really approved of was Stan to be honest. Kyle sort of listened to his mom rant, but mostly he just wanted her to get it all out so he could continue. When she was done, Kyle waited a few seconds to make sure she wouldn't add anything else before turning to his dad again.

"Can you please just take me to Denver?" Gerald looked longingly at the tv before grumbling and stretching and Kyle rushed to grab his jacket and wait in his dad's car so he wouldn't need to listen to the impending argument.

The drive to Denver was quiet at first, but ultimately Gerald turned the radio off and cleared his throat, and oh God, they were going to have to talk about this. Kyle didn't really talk to his dad much these days, unless it had something to do with his future, and they especially didn't talk about Kyle's relationship. He squirmed in his seat and adjusted his seat belt and waited for his dad to speak.

"So. What did uh, what did Eric do this time?" he asked, not taking his eyes off the road. Kyle wanted to groan. He didn't understand the 'this time' tacked on to the end, because it's not like Cartman did this sort of shit on a regular basis anymore. In fact, he was pretty good about being well behaved these days. Kyle liked to think it was thanks to himself, but in reality Cartman had just mellowed out over the years. Of course, he still did stupid shit, obviously, but Kyle did too, so he couldn't complain. Well, shouldn't complain, he still did though.

"I don't know. He didn't tell me." Kyle answered, and he wondered if maybe that was a good thing. Depending on what he may have done, he might not have been so quick to come to his rescue. 'Nah,' Kyle thought to himself, 'I'd still show up.'
"You really know how to pick them." Gerald commented.

"Dad!"

"Sorry, sorry. I'm just saying that, well, your mother isn't exactly wrong with her criticisms of him."
No, maybe she isn't wrong. It doesn't take a genius to see that Cartman is a fucked up individual. But Kyle loves Cartman. He can't help it. They've always had this special connection, ever since they were kids. They just had to have a special place in each other's lives. As kids they were enemies, because Kyle already had a best friend. But whenever Stan was gone, Cartman was there. It was weird how similar the two of them were, they had the same drives and competitive spirits and music tastes and just, it was like they were cut from the same cloth. It was different from how he is with anyone else. Even with Stan. He couldn't explain it. So he didn't try to. "I know." Kyle responded, a little sadly.

His dad picked up on it though. "I don't mean to insult him." Gerald reached over and patted Kyle's shoulder. "That's where I differ from your mother's opinion of Eric. I see how you two are together. The way you two... look at each other." Gerald was trying, so Kyle had to give credit where credit was due. "I don't understand it, but I know your relationship is just as valid as anyone else's. Just as strong."

"It's fine, Dad." Kyle interrupted. No need for things to get sappy. Gerald nodded and turned up the radio and drove the rest of the way with little to no conversation. Kyle knew it wasn't the end of that though, he still had to talk to his mom after all.

Arriving at the Denver County Jail, Kyle nervously approached the front desk, Gerald following behind him. "Hi, is there a Eric Cartman and Kenny Mc-"

"Kyle's here! Woohoo!" Kenny called from somewhere down the hallway.

"Oh thank God, you two are here for them?" the lady asked, grabbing up some paperwork quickly.

"I'll take care of this Kyle, go on." Gerald said, whipping out a pen.

Kyle followed the sound of Kenny's whistling and saw the two of them in their dusty little cell. They were covered in dirt and a little blood, and smelled faintly of vodka and urine. "Christ, what happened?" he asked. Cartman walked over to the bars, pushing Kenny out of the way. Kenny pushed him back and answered for him.

"Did you know that Justin Timberlake has an apartment in Denver?"

Kyle didn't miss a beat. "No he doesn't."

"Not anymore, anyway." Cartman said dismissively. He smiled at Kyle, and Kyle wanted to curse everything at the way his heart fluttered when he did so. "I knew you'd come."

"You smell like piss."

"You brought your dad, right?" Cartman asked. Kyle nodded, reaching through the bars to grab his hand and examine the dried blood on his knuckled. "Don't worry, it's not mine." Kyle glared at him, because maybe that made it a little better, but seeing blood on your boyfriend is still and unsettling issue. "We just came down here for some no name band's concert that Kenny's into. Things got a little out of hand, what with broken toaster..."

"A broken toaster?" Kyle made a face of bewilderment.

"No, Broken Toaster is the name of the band." Kenny intruded.

"Who the fuck names their band Broken Toaster?" Kyle quipped.

"That's what I said! Well anyway, the point is, we're fine, and your dad is getting us out of here, and everything can be put behind us." Cartman clapped his hands together. "So you guys wanna get mozzarella sticks after this?"

Kyle couldn't believe his ears and exchanged glances with Kenny. "After this you'll be lucky if I don't disembowel you, bastard." The sound of keys rattling alerted Kyle, so he turned to see his dad and a guard with the cell keys approaching. Gerald looked distastefully at Cartman and Kenny, probably upset that they'd get their filth all over his car, but there was nothing he could do about it.

In the car, Kyle opted to sit in the back with Cartman, which left Kenny to sit in the front with a very distraught Gerald who wasn't being subtle at all when he sprayed air freshener throughout the vehicle. Kyle couldn't help but feel relieved that they were okay, though he did his best to appear angry. Mostly though, he just wanted them to take a shower immediately. They still had an hour long drive back to South Park though. Cartman saw through Kyle's frustration and kissed him lovingly on the neck. "Don't touch me," Kyle said, but a giggle slipped out. "You're disgusting."

"I'm sorry," he lied. "Won't happen again."

"I still don't know what happened." Kyle said, crossing his arms.

"Maybe I'll tell you when you're older." Kyle punched him in the arm but allowed him to kiss his neck again, and his jaw, and then the bow of his lip.

"Hey, cut that out back there." Kenny said, swatting at the two of them. "We don't need any backseat babies being made."

Gerald groaned, to Kyle's mild amusement. Maybe his Saturday hadn't gone to plan, but he supposed that so far it hadn't been the worst Saturday ever.


A.N.: Bruh. review if you enjoyed this i guess. i really dont have much to say, i dont know what prompted this, so... yeah. i thought it was fun to write, hopefully y'all thought it was fun to read. kyle probably shouldnt be drinking that kind of coffee anyway, it's too sweet.