Title: Speak no Evil (Hear no Evil)

Fandom: Naruto

Rated T for Angst, children fighting each other, and profanity.

Summary: Naruto can speak to animals, and as it turns out, they're all apparently dead set on ruining his life.


Chapter Notes: Hello again everyone! I'm back with something new.

I wanted to work on something fun while I toiled away at my Time Travel fics, and this concept is something I haven't seen enough of. There's such a lack of it that I want to weep, honestly. Why write Time-Travel fics when you can write one's like these! This is a gem concept, guys. That's not to say I don't love Time-Travel fics, because I love Time-Travel fics (and am writing a whole series centering around different universe breaking Time-Space events. Cue nervous laughter here.) but there really are a lot of them. It seems that every fic writer and their grandmothers have written one, so finding new and interesting ones are rare.

Does it make me a hypocrite to say that and then turn around and write a couple? I don't know.

Anyway, I tried to mix my personal headcanons with actual canon while trying to keep it logical. I'm not sure if I succeeded or not, but feel free to leave a review about it! Naruto Canon has so many plot holes, much missing information, and things that don't have any reasonable explanation that it's hard to write something that makes even an ounce of sense. It's quite the mess, really.

Some notes about names: Crows all have three letter names. Crows, despite being fun, sneaky creatures, are relatively simple. To further this point, all of a crow's siblings will have names that start with the same letter. Aoi, Ami, Aki. Rei, Ran, Ren, You get the gist; crows aren't really the sharpest tools in the shed and don't really have the mental capacity for anything complex.

Also, Naruto will probably not be able to talk to fish, but damn it if he won't try! He'll be able to clearly hear amphibians and insects later on in the story, though. How many fics have I seen where the character only talks to mammals? While that's an interesting limitation, it's never expanded upon and as such has become cliche and overused.

I'm not sure how often I'll be able to update this fic, but I'll try my best! Onto chapter one; titled "In which crows are assholes that never leave you alone."

EDITED 5/16/17: Went through some major revisions! Added some details and reworded stuff. If you see any mistakes grammar wise, point them out and I'll mend them ASAP.


The first four years of Naruto's life were very quiet.

After the sealing, the higher ups concluded with much yelling, that the child would be placed in a small, mundane orphanage in West Konoha. (Done away from the newborn of course, everyone, even the Sandaime - who was his main advocate - was wary of the child, for all that they were experienced, they were not Minato Namikaze and did not know the seals limitations and capabilities, so the Hokage and his council didn't want to push their luck and disturb the child by yelling. None of them were eager to release the monster on their beloved village again.) Out of the public eye, away from the limelight. (and their sights. If they forgot about the Kyuubi and who it was sealed in for a while, just until he was old enough to be introduced to Konoha proper, then maybe, just maybe they'd be able to heal.)

(They won't.)

Naruto, bawling and swaddled in blankets, is dropped off at an already overcrowded orphanage by a haggard looking ninja who is holding the child as far away from the ninja as possible without hindering his movements and jeopardizing his cargo. He looks disturbed and sick, his face pale and his eyes looking anywhere but at the bundle he's carrying, most likely because of who he's holding, but curtly puts him down at the steps, and without even knocking, high-tails it out of there.

He misses the look of horror on the matron's face when they open the door to find that child there. Naruto doesn't, his big shining eyes pick up on the hatred and disgust that roll off of matrons in waves, and he starts to whimper.

The infant is put away in one of the smallest rooms. Any other child that had previously inhabited the room are moved to another room before they even know of his existence. He has a small white crib, the paint flaky and peeling, a small bookshelf with old and dog eared children's books, and a small drawer to put clothing and other baby supplies in. The lack of furniture and decor makes the room seem to engulf the tiny infant, whose smaller and thinner than any baby his age should be - a product of the stress and neglect of his birth or the Kyuubi being sealed into him, no one will ever be sure. No one is around to see his eyes opening and staring at his bland surroundings with awe. Naruto spent most of that time gurgling at the ceiling and trying to interact with the matrons who come in to feed, clothe, and bathe him.

No one else comes to visit the baby for a long while.

It was there that Naruto learned to walk. He'd been eyeing the bars of the crib for days now, small, delicate fingers curling and uncurling as the little blonde furrowed his eyes. He'd then surprised one of the orphanage workers with his new trick. She'd come into his small room with nary a hello to give him his food, a sneer sitting on her lips and eyes scrunched with contempt. Naruto didn't seem to notice this, as he furrowed his brows, hooked his small fingers around the bars of the crib, and hauled himself up.

The matron's eyes widened and she stumbled, nearly spilling the bowl of mashed carrots and peas in her hands. Naruto, being a year and a half, took this as a positive response and beamed at her, flashing the matron his biggest, toothiest smile. Using the railing as support, the infant bounced on his short legs as he shuffled closer to her, small pudgy legs taking small, wobbling steps towards her as he giggled in delight and pride. The matron, however wasn't as amused. She moved strands of blonde hair out of her face, blinking as she stood in shock. The shock on her face melted away after a moment had passed, leaving only fear and rage in its wake. The matron quickly strode forward, harshly setting food down a tray startling the boy and causing him to fall flat on his behind. The caretaker stalked the door, pausing to send him a withering glare, (Because how dare, how dare that monster act like a child) before slamming the door behind her.

Naruto's big blue eyes went dull, and his previously sunny smile waned completely as his little lips wobbled. Then came big fat tears, and no one else entered his room for the rest of the day.

That was not a good week for him.

The next step Naruto took in his development at the orphanage was talking. He started by mimicking the matrons, who harshly corrected him when he said the words wrong, and later with help from the old man with the funny looking hat. At first, he only attempted to speak when another person was around, babbling at them with heavily slurred words and half-formed sentences. When that wasn't enough, Naruto then took to talking to himself, as the times when he could truly interact with another individual were few and far between, as when the three-year-old would see the other orphans he was either quickly whisked away or glared at until he stopped trying to engage with others. The toddler knew by this point the matrons didn't like him at all, even if he didn't know why. This perceived dislike spread to the other children, who started to take notice of the matron's disdain for him and then started to imitate them by ignoring him, too.

And even as loneliness and misery crept in and sat heavy in his chest, something in him roared in defiance, like the embers of a fire that refuses to die.

And so the orphanages routine continued on for the next few years of his life. The silence and isolation leaving him deprived of comfort and life. The only things to be heard around Naruto on a semi-regular basis was his own babbling about anything and everything as he tried to fill the silence, the adults, the faint rustling of trees and giggling children.

Then, there was a change. Suddenly, the dreary walls of his room tiny little room disappeared, along with his bookshelf and the door he so desperately wanted to be left open, no longer shut and firmly out of his reach. The kids who shied away from him, the sneers of the matrons, all of them were wiped away in a second as he was quietly led out of his dingy room, down the tiny desolate halls. Naruto knew these halls, had seen them thousands of times from when he was carried under the arm of an adult to the baths. But having an adult allow him to walk on his own, letting him marvel at the way the wood flooring slid against his soft feet was something different altogether.

There was another door, and suddenly the ceiling was gone. Naruto openly gaped, wincing at the light as his eyes tried to adjust to truly being outside for the first time in… how long had it been again? He hadn't realized he had stopped walking until he felt a tug on his hand, snapping Naruto out of his reverie and moving him forward, out of the courtyard and onto a road leading into Konoha proper. The blonde boy was too busy gawking at the village outside to notice the glares he was being given as he was lead down through the village, store owner's eyes widening with shock when they recognized him and quickly shutting down their business while he passed. He was brought in front of a big building, dragged up long winding stairs and walking past rows upon rows of doors, until the guide let his hand go, stopping front of a single door at the end of the hall, a plaque with a faded number he couldn't read printed onto the industrial white paint.

The door opened. It was definitely bigger than the room Naruto occupied before, with multiple rooms and furniture in good shape, along with a balcony and a bed with multiple blankets. The door closes behind him, and the boy turns around to find his guide is gone, the door firmly shut, just like back at the orphanage. Then Naruto's world goes quiet again.

However, the day after Naruto turned the tender age of five, all that silence suddenly ended.

He woke up to noise.

It was as if someone had started directing five symphonies directly on his ear drums, a wall of sound descending on his ears and filling up his head with sound and drowning him. There was a strange buzzing in his ears as he tried to differentiate between the tangled mess of tone and reverberating notes, accompanied by the regular noises made by the village outside, so much of it that he couldn't pick up anything else.

Just as he felt like his eardrums were going to burst, the boy let out a gasp and fainted dead away.


As panicked ANBU flit about the small apartment, one faceless ninja with wild silver hair cradles the unconscious child carefully, taking a moment to card his callused fingers through the tiny child's messy blond hair, looking up and signaling to the figures in the space with him using a strange sign. A ninja splits off from the group of four, his brown hair lagging behind him slightly as he uses the window to escape, heading off in the opposite direction using a shunshin. The rest look towards the gray-haired ninja for orders, who nods at them, shifting the unconscious child in his arms and hauling ass to the hospital, his normally deadened black eyes manic in the face of an injury towards the one person he could barely even look at.

Unbeknownst to the team, a small squirrel with extra tail fluff and red flecked fur watches the scene closely from where it's sat on the balcony window. As the ANBU cart the unconscious child off to the hospital, the small creature's eyes glint with a strange, almost human-like intelligence that couldn't normally be seen by the regular human eye.

It chitters excitedly to itself, hopping onto the ledge of the window as the brown nin jumps through it. From its place in the windowsill, it paws at the glass with tiny finger-like paws, squeaking about this strange human, about the wave of human thought that flooded the frequencies that morning, peaking the little squirrels interest. Before, most animals in Konoha avoided this place, for it seemed to emit a menacing aura that to permeated the entire building, radiating malice and rage. But no longer was that frighteningly acidic power gushing from the metal and wood, having settled into something aged and reeking of untameable power, less malevolent and more resigned. The squirrel assumes that all that power was coming from the blond boy, for as soon as he was removed all that pressure cut off, becoming undetectable to everyone but those with the keenest eye. Flicking its bushy tail once more, it wiggles its nose and turns around, daintily jumping down from the ledge and skittering away, climbing down the side of the building with impressive grappling skills. (Presumably, due to how fast it scampers away, the small rodent is on a mission to go tell someone else about it, squirrels have a tendency to be the absolute worst gossips.)


Naruto regained awareness slowly. As the blank numbness of unconsciousness fell away, he became aware of how he felt as if he was floating to the ocean's surface after spending too much time on the quiet floor of the sea, immobile and subject to the oceans currents and sway. He regains the knowledge of himself as his senses come back online, synapses flaring to jumpstart his thinking processes, making him aware of the throb in his ears as he swallows to clear out the fuzz in his head and throat. Naruto lets out a small, slightly pained grunt, reaching up groggily with sluggish limbs to rub at the offending appendages.

"Naruto?" a hoarse voice asks with - concern? For a moment he wasn't sure who it was because 'why would anyone talk to him that way? No one talks to him or even about him with that much concern for his wellbeing, it just wasn't done!' his dazed mind exclaimed, causing his cumbersome body to jerk. So caught up in his thoughts, Naruto didn't notice the elderly man beside him make an abortive move towards the boy, as if seeking to shake him awake.

He's snapped out of his reverie when the voice calls again, quieter this time as if talking to him through a closed door.

His tongue feels like cotton in his mouth as he sluggishly whispers, "Jiji…?" eventually prying open his eyes and turning his head towards the elderly Hokage.

Hiruzen gazes solemnly at the small boy lying engulfed by his hospital bed and the white sheets he's tucked under. His golden blonde hair contrasts sharply against the stark white of the bedding, making his pallor seem paler and form weaker than it really was. Hiruzen sighed perturbed, "You gave us quite a scare, Naruto. Do you remember what happened?"

Naruto blinks slowly, once, and then twice, furrowing his eyebrows before shaking his head at the question. "Sorry, Jiji… I-I don't...just- when did the village get so loud?"

The elderly man's eyebrows briefly raise at the question, but the look of surprise quickly shifts into one of thoughtfulness. Studying Naruto with an assessing gaze, he strokes his grayed beard, "What do you mean, Naruto?"

The four-year-old in question shifts awkwardly, pulling himself into a sitting position, "You mean- you can't hear it? Everything's louder! I'm not the only one who hears it, right, dattebayo? I-it's not as bad as before but it still hurts, I thought for sure that everyone heard it..."

The tension in the Hokage's shoulders seem to dissolve at that, his mind finally being able to rationalize the strange fainting episode, and he lets out a huffing breath. Then, the old man leans over and ruffles Naruto's hair, reassuring the five-year-old with the words, "Do not fret, Naruto. It seems to be nothing serious, the doctors here may have to do a few tests, but ultimately you seem to be fine. You'll be released from the hospital when you wake up, for there is nothing physically wrong with you, but for now, please try to rest."

Naruto pouts a little, his nose scrunching and bottom lip poking out marginally, but in the end, he concedes and rubs at bleary eyes, settling back into the bed and burrowing in the sheets and slipping back into sleep.

Hiruzen stays with his charge a little while longer, partly to avoid paperwork, but mostly just to make extra sure that Naruto's condition is stable, that he won't suddenly seize or convulse or have some other horrific medical catastrophe occur.

He quietly leaves the hospital rooms a few hours later. Stepping gingerly out of the hospital room, so as not to wake the boy sleeping away 10 feet from him. With his break achieved and worry for the sunny child alleviated, the Hokage puts the episode out of his mind, grumbling about the stack of paperwork on his desk, pulling a piece off and beginning to sift through it.

'Hypersensitivity, eh? It doesn't seem to be the Kyuubi, at least… although it could be a byproduct of the sealing... I'd have to get Jiraiya back to Konoha to be sure. There's no way in hell I'll be able to con him into returning to the village right now. It seems we'll just have to watch and observe, and hope everything turns out alright.'


The crows were bothering him again.

There were five or six of the pests, pecking insistently on his window; their beady eyes accusing as they squawked and clacked their beaks at him through the glass.

Naruto, who was preparing himself dinner, ramen, sighed. The blonde pursed his lips and turned off the faucet, then leaning over and hefting up the rusted window, grunting as he did so. The flock scrambled to get inside where it was warm, at the sight of fluttering, crowing, and pecking birds, Naruto rolled his eyes while shivering at the cold air brushing his skin. He gently pushed the tangled mass of black feathers inside, allowing them to pile themselves in front of his heater.

The eleven-year-old half-heartedly flared at the feathered creatures and their antics whilst he struggled to close the window; snapping it shut with a click and locking it. Naruto flicked the faucet back on, resuming his culinary activities, all the while pointedly ignoring seven crows, who were happily chirping and preening near the cheap space heater. The heater wasn't much, cheap and small, but it was the best could do at the moment, seeing as the actual heater was sitting lifeless in the closet, broken and cold.

(And it wasn't like it like it was going to be revived anytime soon, either. Damn the landlord and his prejudice.)

Naruto scowled, calling out a chiding "Oi!" as a particularly chatty crow - Ran - flew up to perch on his shoulders, blinking up at him owlishly. Ran's brother - Rei - was right behind, deciding to make himself comfortable in the hood of his jacket. The blonde's scowl deepened, but he said nothing, instead opting to scratch Ran's head and finish making his cup of instant ramen.

While he loved most kinds of ramen, instant ramen was really just a cup of disappointment. The noodles ended up bland and lumpy, the vegetables hard and undercooked, and the flavoring that just stunk of chemical processing. However, it was really all he could afford, as he always seemed to splurge his very meager finances whenever he passed Ichiraku's; the good food and hospitality was not something he could usually pass up. It would have to do, he supposed. After all, bad ramen was better than no ramen - or dinner - at all.

The kettle whistled as the water for the noodles came to a boil. He carefully, so as not to disturb the birds that were cuddled up to him, poured the water into the styrofoam cup sitting on the counter next to the stove, before shutting the lid. With measured steps, Naruto set the piping hot cup on a small table in the center of his living room. Rei and Ran left their perch to fluff and preen in front of the heater with the others while Naruto flopped tiredly onto the couch, massaging aching muscles.

He'd been practicing the katas Mizuki-sensei had taught him before class at the academy started to no avail. His stances were awkwardly placed, making him feel vulnerable and weak, and every time he practiced a strike, he over-reached and lost his balance. His lack of ability in Taijutsu was never more apparent than during the training spars the Ninja Academy held. He'd had to fight Kiba today; Kiba had smirked at him, all pomp and obnoxious declarations about how easy it would be to beat him. Naruto had tried to get into the stance he'd been taught by Mizuki, but he wobbled uncertainly. Kiba burst into laughter with the rest of the class while Sasuke caught his eye and smirked derisively at him. Naruto ignored them, gritting his teeth.

Kiba didn't bother getting into a stance as he rushed at the blonde immediately, pulling his fist back for a punch. Naruto put his hands up to block and use Kiba's fist against him, but Kiba easily bypassed his meager defenses, his fist connecting with the underside of his jaw easily. Naruto's head snaps backwards, and Naruto lets out a pained grunt before swinging his head back and headbutting Kiba in the face.

Kiba curses and stumbles backward, unsteady for a second before easily regaining his balance. He aims another punch at him, but this time Naruto is prepared for it, successfully pulling off a dodge. (A rather close call, but a dodge nonetheless.) However, Kiba anticipates this and Akamaru happily jumps into the fray. The pup had safely sat off to the side until now, his partner being disallowed during one on one spars. Naruto had disregarded the puppy, up until now counting on the rules to keep him out. It seems this was not to be, as Kiba had decided to pull out all the stops and fight dirty. As he is narrowly avoiding a punch, Akamaru jumps into his legs, tripping him.

Naruto flails, arms pinwheeling as he tries to stay upright before he falls face first into the dust with a heavy 'whump'. Kiba presses his foot into the small of his back, laughing loudly about his easy victory.

Naruto hauls himself to his feet and slowly shuffles off to the sidelines while the class points and laughs. Sakura and Kiba's laughter rang the loudest, rubbing salt in his wounds. Mizuki-sensei just levels a pitying and slightly disappointed look at him. Naruto's fist clenches and he throws his chin up. He declares his dream of being Hokage and points at Kiba, yelling about how he'll grind him into the dust next time. The boy kept his head held high for the rest of class.

After the Academy let out, Naruto allowed his chin to drop. His bubbling confidence withers away in the blink of an eye, and Naruto droops as he makes his way to an old, torn up training ground. Training ground repair is usually left up to the people who made the mess, but sometimes the damages require more extensive repairs than just clumsily filling up craters with doton jutsu.

This one seems to have been forgotten, which means he has the place all to himself. Animals know not to come near training grounds, due to the sound of metal and large explosions that take place there, as well as Naruto's own warnings.

Throwing his bag down under a tree, Naruto stretches. He doesn't like doing warm-ups, they make his muscles burn and ache, and he always feels sore after, but he's decided that if he's going to perfect his katas, he may as well do it right.

Naruto runs through the katas, again and again, practicing his strikes on a tree. But he still wobbles, the stances feel awkward and vulnerable and contort his body wrong. With growing frustration, Naruto continues for two hours before giving up with a yell and throwing himself onto the ground. Harsh grumbles disrupt the quiet of the forest around him as he catches his breath.

He knows in that moment that taijutsu is a lost cause, it's obviously not something he can learn. He'll have to think of something else to make up for it. But how?

He retreats to his apartment after coming to that conclusion.

The blonde blew out a long sigh. The roller coaster of a day had distracted him from just how tired he is. He trains and trains and trains but no one looks his way, he doesn't improve, he stays the same and no one notices. His limbs felt heavy like lead and his head was growing fuzzy with deep-seated exhaustion. As he began to drift, not even the scent of cooling ramen warded off the tiredness taking hold of his bones.

The academies Dead-Last dozed off to the light sounds of ruffling feathers and cawing, muttering sleepily to himself, "I'll need to plan another prank soon…" And then let out a light snore, body falling slack and relaxed.


A seven-year-old Naruto trudges through a grove of trees, sunlight filtering in through the shallow canopy, turning the forest floor alight with golden yellows and greens.

An oversized shirt hangs off his skinny body, stained and torn. The spiral symbol faded and bleached off of a worn pair of shorts that were fraying at the ends. They catch and cling on the various bushes he was fighting his way through with a long stick. His feet are bare.

As his feet hit sandier and flatter ground, littered with small weeds and shoots of grass, bits of gravel and dirt clinging to his limbs. He comes to a stop in front of an old, gnarled oak tree, the centerpiece of this patch, it seems. The hulking trees roots are coiled and twisted around the trunk, sprawling outwards and threatening to trip anyone who runs by too fast. A large, hollowed out crevice is wedged between them; just wide enough for him to sit in. With downturned lips, he scuffs calloused feet on the ground, grass and sand sliding between his toes. The stick is let go of, softly forgotten, and Naruto drops to his knees.

Shuffling forward, rubbing his knees raw on rocks and hard earth, he crawls inside of the trunk. It's a tight fit, but soon Naruto is hugging his knees to his chest, breathing slowly into his knees. His breath hitches and he lets out a small sniffle.

He sniffles again, breath shuddering. Then once again. Each sniffle growing wetter and growing in octave until he's weeping into his knees, hands curled into fists and shoulders quivering.

He stays like that for a while, quietly weeping and shuddering in a small, damp space. It smells of tree and mud, of loneliness and reminders that despite coming here to get away no one will come for him. No one will hold him and pat his back and make him feel better. He's alone. (And the thought of that only makes him cry harder.)

A twig snapping brings him out of his fit of self-pity, and he frantically wipes away tears and snot, before poking his head out from the oaks offered safety.

He expects a villager, maybe a chunin - certainly not the guys who smell funny because they don't smell like anything and everyone has a smell... He's still wondering why they like to hang out in trees or on the roofs of buildings at all times of the day, he can tell they are there, even if he can't see them.

(Unfortunately for the ANBU, who, while very skilled and adept at hiding their presence, try a little too hard at hiding their scent. This means that Naruto's exceptional nose recognizes the weird smell-but-not and it ends up completely blowing their cover. Practically invisible people or not.)

Instead, he ends up looking into the face of a small black crow.

The crow clacks its beak at him. A threat.

Naruto jerks up in surprise, knocking his head on the wood of the tree trunk. "Ow, damn it!" Naruto cries with a yelp, rubbing at the tender spot and leveling the crow a glare. The crow hops forward slightly, head pointed towards his right leg, which was now folded under himself, rather than half-way in the tree's hollow.

"That's mine!" It calls, tugging on the frayed hem of his shorts, "You're sitting on my acorn! It's mine! Give it back!"

"Wha-?" Naruto mumbled dumbly, before shifting his leg and looking down, finding a small brown acorn tucked snugly between his leg and a knot of grass. He reaches down to grab it, but the crow calls out a war cry and lunges at little Naruto, beak latching onto his hand and pinching. This dislodges the acorn, causing it to go rolling into the grass and out of sight.

Naruto curses, reeling back and shaking out the irritated area. He glares at the bird, but when the little terror opens its beak and fluffs its feathers, he winces and quickly sputters out, "Sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't see your acorn there, I swear!"

The crow hisses at him but backs off. Naruto looks down at the acorn he'd accidentally crushed beneath his palm speculatively. He narrows his eyes at the ground below him, gliding his hand through the grass blindly. As he glides his hands through the long blades of grass, he feels a slight urge to giggle, despite his situation. Naruto feels a bump and snatches it up. He brushes the dirt off the nut and carefully slides the acorn towards the crow. It looks at Naruto with suspicion, stepping backwards and forwards a few times, thinking over his intentions. It finally comes to a decision, as it extends its neck and quickly plucks the acorn from his grasp. Awkwardly, Naruto rubs the back of his neck, "Er, I hope that will make up for stepping on it…"

The crow cocks its head at him, prize firmly clasped between its beak, and gives him a piercing stare before making a muffled cooing noise, and flying away.

Naruto silently watches the crow sail away, wings beating frantically. With a sigh, Naruto slowly gets up, brushing the dirt and sand off of himself as best he can. He pats his shirt, picks up the discarded stick, and starts the trek back to his apartment.

'Well, at least I don't feel so bad anymore… what's the point in crying, anyway? I don't need anyone, I'm strong. Hokages don't cry, after all!'


It's been approximately two weeks since Naruto met that crow in the woods. That day he'd went home, shook off the events of the day, and life then returned to its usual levels of monotony. Unfortunately, that extended to his days in the academy, too.

So, for the umpteenth time this year, Naruto could be found scowling and fidgeting as he stands in the hall silently. The blonde sighs, glaring holes in the wall directly in front of him.

Once again, he was kicked out for being "disrupting". He'd been sleeping during the lesson, and he knows he doesn't snore! The eraser trap wasn't even his prank, it had come from the opposite direction and yet he'd still gotten punished for it.

Naruto's pout was overtaken by a slow, sly smirk. If he thinks Naruto was the one who threw that eraser, he'd do him one better: by pointing and laughing at the results of the glitter bomb he stuck in his ninja pouch that morning. It was really clever, too. He'd keyed it to explode right as class was ending, right at the bell, while quickly pilfering the newly open package of senbon. It was a shame he wouldn't be there to see it, but at least the teacher hadn't noticed and he had some new pranking supplies.

The smirk dissolved from his face as fast as his pout and the boy's expression turning downcast, a large frown pulling at his lips.

He was supposed to be learning how to throw kunai today. While not as exciting as making explosive tags or learning awesome jutsu, he'd been looking forward to it. It was still a major tool that ninja used, after all.

Naruto sniffed.

Suddenly, Naruto hears a tap on the window. The blonde boy sniffles again and turns his head towards the window. He goes from downtrodden to anguished in a second because there's a flock of crows there, one eagerly tapping on the glass. A flock of noisy, annoying crows. Naruto hopes the floor will open up and pull him under.

'Crap' Naruto thinks because he already knows how this will turn out. Sure enough, another crow with more plume and an exaggerated strut joins the first in pecking at the window. Naruto closes his eyes and thinks about escape. He wishes he could teleport, rather than have the rather useless ability of speaking to animals.

It's no wonder he has a migraine, he's in hell.

Naruto glares at them, internally panicking as they get louder and louder, more crows joining the first in attacking the window. The blonde makes a shooing motion at them, raising an eyebrow and pointing towards the skyline.

"Go." he says firmly, the hand not pointing in the direction he'd prefer them to go settled on his hip.

They don't go. In fact, it just seems to encourage them to misbehave further. Now all seven cawing, jumping crows were fluttering about, practically throwing themselves against the glass.

Naruto groans, looking down both ends of the hall and straining his ears for any sign of teachers. Finding none, no light sounds of footsteps or breathing, nor seeing any flashes of the brown and greens the chunin academy teachers wear, the boy turns back towards the window, hunching his shoulders.

"I know you can hear me!" the blonde whisper-yells, his frustration and dread mounting the longer they stayed.

Gritting his teeth, Naruto crept towards the window; the motion calming the birds down slightly, causing them to back away. Putting his face nearly an inch away from the cool, smooth glass of the window, the academy student puts his small hands back on his hips, glaring at the crow who started it in an imitation of the scolding pose the few adults in his life used on him as he hissed out a low, "What do you want?"

The stupidest one, and obviously the leader, hops in a circle, flicking its head towards him while gleefully chanting, "We want in! We have something to give you, something to give you! Strange human, we bring gifts!"

The others soon join in with its stupid little dance, prancing about in an oddly deformed circle while continuing their annoyed chant.

Naruto realizes with another frown that until he lets them in and do what they came for, they probably won't leave him alone. He doesn't feel like being mauled by crows in front of the whole school, at least he can be mauled while he has some semblance of privacy. 'Best get it over with.' Naruto mentally grumbles.

Then, with slow fingers, he carefully reaches up towards the lock on the window, unlatching it and smoothly sliding it open.

The blonde is immediately engulfed in bird, and Naruto sputters as they all tackle him at once, sending feathers flying as they screech and caw. They cling to his arms and hands, forcing him to awkwardly hold them out in front of him. The rest are smugly perched on his shoulders, and one has the absolute gall to get comfortable on the top of his head.

Damn birds.

He sighs, wincing as the crow on his head pulls at a strand of his hair.

Then he hears a shout, and whips his head around, dislodging the crow on his head, causing it to squawk indignantly.

It's an academy teacher. His mouth is agape, hanging awkwardly and stretching the scar tissue on his nose. Naruto takes a long moment to observe this man, eyes scanning over tanned skin and long brown hair tied back in a ponytail. He briefly glances over his chunin vest and notes the books in his hand. The birds crowding him are oddly silent. Naruto snaps out of his panic induced observations just as the chunin stops his gawking; Naruto feels as if he's stuck in limbo, perpetually gazing into this adult's assessing eyes, feeling dread slide through his veins as his entire world, his secret, teeters precariously on the verge of collapse, threatening to spill more evidence of his freakiness to the village and leave it to be gnawed on and devoured by the vultures that are the villagers. Naruto knows he couldn't handle that.

So, the blonde boy breaks eye contact, shifting his eyes away from the teacher as a fearful emotion passes through the front of his eyes. Naruto starts to sweat, and as the teacher takes a step forward, Naruto bolts.

He doesn't want to deal with the teachers with their hard expressions and judging eyes, couldn't bear to hear their accusing tones and pointed questions, so he spun away from the chunin. The sharp movement dislodged the crows perched there, causing them to dig their talons into his flesh, leaving ugly gashes along his arms and neck.

They sting but the look in everyone else's eyes burns like a hot brand, so he turns, running away like a coward. He quickly hauls himself out the window before anyone can blink, setting out in a dead sprint as the chunin lunges for him, shouting in alarm. He shoots like a bullet through the schoolyard, vaulting over the fence and into the street. He pauses and sneakily scampers into an alley, hiding behind a trash can as he watches that same chunin and another academy teacher run past, shouting his name.

He ducks out of the alley quickly, checking to see if anyone of importance spotted him, before setting an intense pace towards his apartment, scowling all the while.

However, Naruto, who is so caught up in his thoughts, doesn't seem to notice the small black shapes tailing him, leaving a trail of feathers in their wake.


The metal stairs leading to his apartment creak under his weight as Naruto slowly climbs them, his mad dash having sapped his energy, leaving him drained as the midday sun beat down on his back. Pausing to catch his breath in front of his door, he let out a sigh. He'd left his bag at the academy, along with throngs of angry teachers and students. His prank going off and the chunin teachers' subsequent failure at catching him probably going to bite him in the butt hardcore.

Leaning down, the blonde lifted up the flaxen colored mat in front of his door and retrieved the house key, and unlocked the door, harshly pushing the door open. He takes shuffling steps inside as the door clattered harshly against the wall. The usually sunny boy seemed to droop, the adrenaline and fear of being caught leaving him all in one moment. He unzips his jacket and tosses it to the ground, before slipping off his shoes and leaving them in the middle of the floor, too. Naruto messes with the strands of his straw-colored hair before pulling out a chair from his kitchen table and dejectedly falling onto it.

He then proceeds to sulk, muttering about crows, pranks, and annoying teachers, eventually devolving into cursing life itself, all while sinking further into the chair. "Stupid teachers, stupid pranks, stupid life! Damn it!"

Naruto huffs and looks around the kitchen. Light filters in from the windows, lighting up the room. Many different types of plants sit on the counters, the tables, or even hang off the ceiling. An ant farm sits near one of the larger windows, it sits slightly ajar, just enough for the ants to come in and out.

Naruto figures he should water his plants, maybe shower too? He couldn't go back to school without seeming like a coward, so he was just biding his time until he was either called into the Hokage's office or received his punishment. The blonde flicks on the tap, setting his watering can under it and watches how the light reflects off the water as it slowly fills up. He flicks off the tap before he can over fill it, and sets about carefully watering his plants, standing on a chair to reach the ones dangling from the ceiling.

With his plants fed, Naruto goes to take a shower. He shoves off all the dirty clothing, leaving it all in a pile on the floor, before stepping into the shower and turning the knob. It's not warm, but it doesn't feel like ice either, but it's always been like that as far back as he can remember, so he doesn't really notice it as he scrubs his hair with soap, trying to get out all the dirt his lion mane gathers during the day. He then steps out of the shower and wraps his fluffiest towel around himself before looking into the mirror.

Naruto frowns at his reflection, "I just want to be a ninja… so why does everything keep going wrong?"

The whiskered child turns away from his reflection, and towels himself off as he heads towards his room and opens the dresser, pulling out his most comfortable pajamas. He's using the damp towel to dry his hard as he walks back into the kitchen, but then he hears a tap against the door the balcony. Naruto scowled, realizing that they must have followed him home.

Damn birds.

He sighs and treks to the door, before pulling it open and using his most irritated voice, dripping with disdain, "What do you want?"

The leader cocks its head at him before chirping out, "We brought something for you!" while the others crow in agreement. The leader takes to the sky, the others to follow, and soon Naruto is left alone on his balcony, feeling thoroughly confused. He looks down, only to see a small pile of acorns near his feet. The blonde facepalms, but a grin pushes itself onto his face anyway. He scoops up the pile and walks back inside, only to hear a knock at the door.

Naruto starts to sweat, he's in for it this time.

He reaches for the knob-


He startles from his sleep at the sound of rapping on his door. Disorientated, he scrunches his face and presses face back into his pillow, Ran nips at his ear.

"Deal with the knocking, Naruto!" Ran huffs, feathers fluffed in indignation at the interruption of her rest.

Naruto grumbles at her, swinging his legs onto the floor and yawning. Naruto hears the knocking again.

'wait-' The blonde freezes. 'wasn't Jiji coming over today-?'

And then Naruto is jumping up, calling out, "Just a minute!" to the Hokage, who Naruto knows is behind the door, and even if it's impolite to keep the old Hokage waiting, Naruto still has birds in the house, and there's no way he'll let him see it.

The blonde scoops up Rei, Ran, and a smaller crow named Aoi under his arms, and runs towards the balcony door, throwing it open and shoving the birds out. He hears knocking again and the call of the Sandaime, "Naruto? Are you alright in there?"

Sweat beads down his neck as he hollers back, "I'm just fine, datte- ACK! -bayo!" Spitting out the feathers that got in his mouth from when the last crow whacked him in the face with his wing, and brushes himself off, running to the door and opening it with a huff.

The Sandaime, in all his wrinkled, spotted glory stands in front of the door. Two Jounin escorts stand a ways back, trying to burn holes through his head with the force of their glares alone.

The Hokage raises his eyebrow at him, and Naruto grins nervously and rubs his neck, using the other to gesture him inside.

The Sandaime sighs and smirks a little, signaling to the jounin in dismissal. They hesitate, but turn away and then jump away. As he steps inside, Hiruzen frowns at the mess apartment but takes a seat at one of the kitchen chairs and clears his throat. Naruto gulps, leaning on the counter.

"Naruto," he starts, looking past Naruto at an area behind him, "before we do anything, I think it would be wise to close your balcony window, hm? You wouldn't want any pests coming inside, would you?"

Naruto's face scrunches in confusion while turning towards whatever it is the Hokage has his eye on until he sees a crow standing in front of his open door. It's Ren. The boy goes red in the face, retrieving a broom from the closet and chasing him out. Ren squawks as he boots him out with the broom, and Naruto mutters an apology under his breath.

As he shuts the glass door with finality, he turns around and says to an amused looking Hokage, "Hehe… must've forgotten to close the door when I took a nap earlier. Oops!"

"Indeed, Naruto, Indeed." his guest agrees, pulling out and lighting his pipe, "Your graduation exam is soon, you're growing up fast you brat. Seems like just last week you were five and asking me what a ninja does."

Naruto scowls in a playful manner, "You're just getting old, Jiji!"

"I suppose I am, hmm… if I'm old, that must make you a tiny brat, hmph. I swear I get no respect from you."

Naruto just sticks his tongue out at him, and in retaliation, Hiruzen blows smoke into Naruto's face, chuckling when he splutters. The Hokage smiles fondly at him, before he slowly hauls himself to his feet, grumbling about his hips.

"Walk with me, Naruto? A new ramen shop has opened up and I'd like to try it. My treat, as you must've been exhausted to have forgotten about the ramen you made earlier," the old man eyes the full cup, sitting cold and uneaten on the coffee table.

The blonde's stomach growls in response, and Naruto shines him his biggest, most glowing grin. "Yes! Yes! Yes, Ramen!" he shouts, dancing to a tune no one could hear, eyes squinted.

The Sandaime chuckles.


The village was lit with lanterns and people bustling about, trying to get some last-minute dinner. Some buildings sat dulled and dark, shadowed by the lights of business that were still open, while others that seemed insignificant during the day seemed to shine, standing out among dark houses and streets. The villagers out seem haggard and tired, holding bags of food, toolkits, and plenty of other assorted items. They vehemently ignore Naruto as they pass the pair in the street, but bow reverently to the Hokage as he passes, calling out greetings like, "Good evening, Hokage-sama!". It makes Naruto shrink in on himself internally, his mood dropping slightly, and in response, Naruto puts his arms behind his head, plasters on a grin, and puffs up his chest.

As he walks, kicking pebbles and dust with his sandals, moths that flutter and buzz around lit lanterns seem to freeze for a split second, before turning around and flapping breezily towards him, settling themselves on different parts of his jacket. The blonde grimaced as he vaguely hears the words "bright light!" and other chattering coming from the moths, muted and static-y.

Naruto deigns to ignore them.

He turns his attention back towards the town around him, at dimly lit stalls, and vendors closing up and packing away their wares, and then swings his vision to the Hokage walking in front of him, robes bright and clean despite the dusty road.

He feels something crawling up his leg, and sighs when a baby garden snake pops out of his pant line. It flicks it's small tongue out and with a small hissing noise, slithers into his pocket, curling up where it was warm. "Can I stay?" it says, poking its head out from his left pocket with big unblinking eyes. Naruto can never resist that expression on anything that comes to him for help.

"Sure," Naruto groans, "just, don't come out until I say so." and in return, the little snake head butts Naruto's hand where it rests near the pocket and coils itself up, virtually undetectable. Despite naruto's best efforts at staying quiet, the older man in front of him hears him, turning around and looking at him weirdly,

"Did you say something Naruto?" he questions, eyebrow raised.

"Ah- um, no?" Naruto says, feigning ignorance and turning his face away from the older man, who looks at him funny once more and then shrugs slightly, turning forward again and taking a right onto a narrow road.

As Naruto turns to follow the Hokage down the way, he narrows his eyes at the crows hanging on a wire, glaring at them harshly and flipping them off, lightly jogging to catch up with the aging leader.

Rambunctious laughter in the form of ugly bird shrieks follow him all the way to a place called "Kazuki's Ramen Stand".


And that's the first. Gosh, I really have no idea where this fic will go, but it'll sure be fun! Pardon my horribly awkward attempts at writing dialogue. I really hate this chapter and will probably be doing a lot of editing, but I haven't posted in almost four months over this ahaha, the next chapter will probably be of better quality.

A warning that angst will definitely appear and this fic will probably turn out AU as fuck. I hope you enjoyed this at least a little bit, and feel free to leave a review with suggestions, critique, or any other questions you might have.