I love you.

I love you too.

These words, lies haunt me as I try to fall asleep. I roll over and try to forget what Freddie said to me, how he looked at me just this night. So thats it. We love eachother and now were done.

Does it make sense?

Ive never been one to be one of the normal type people in this world. But if you say "I love you" to someone, doesnt that mean you dont want to be away from them. That you always want them. That doesnt mean you want to BREAK UP with them and go back to the relationship when theyre different.
If you truly loved someone you wouldnt want them to change at all. At least thats what I think.

But what the chizz do I know?

Im a mean, stupid, witty, blonde headed, demon. According to some people. Not that I can blame them I know Im not a saint or anything crazy like that. But I do have feeling despite what other people think of me. And right now as I lay in my bed starring up at my ceiling, I feel more confused than ever before in my whole life. More confused than when I took a Calculas test, when I my dad left us without a word, and more confused from when I started developing feeling for Freddie.

And I hate it. Because this only mean one thing.

Freddie must have never had feelings for me in the first place if he can just say "I love you and then break up with me. It must have meant nothing to him. All of our kisses, touches, hugs,
all of it must have been one stupid game.

And thats what kills me the most.

I knew that after Freddie and I had our first kiss together I would never be able to say "I hate you" and mean it. I wouldnt tell alomst the whole world Ive never kissed anybody either and then go kiss Freddie himself. I have at least that much respect for him and myself. Before our "Kiss"
I knew we were always playing a game. It was simple and mindless I would attack Freddie physically and mentally and he would never fight back. And thats how things will go back to after tonight.
Freddie has given me no choice.

The game is back on. We will go back to when people even wondered if we were friends sometimes. It will be great because my real feelings will fade away. Hopefully. I hope Freddie is prepared. He is the one who brought all this one anyway. Besides Freddie should know this by now.

Momma always wins.

And after this night of heartbreak and confusion and I feel myself grin.