Death is not an option.
Words will poke and prod your mind, leaving you awake, staring at the ceiling wondering if they are true.
Words will make you feel worthless, unloved and empty.
Words will destroy carefully built walls that guard your sanity and soul.
Words will shackle and blind.
...
But Death can be euphoric.
Death can make you feel whole, complete, full.
Death can replace the walls that took years to construct and build.
Death... can free you.
...
But...
Words can make you feel warm and safe.
Words can heal rifts and chasms between blood.
Words can bring light to a dark situation.
And Words can fix.
Because in the end, Death will leave you cold and hollow.
Death will break fragile bonds.
Death will plunge the brightest person into an abyss.
Death will always destroy.
This is why Leo will always stay by his family, protecting them from whatever the world throws at them. Leonardo is honor bound to guard his brothers and father from the monsters that wished them harm.
Because no matter how many times Raphael insulted him, Donatello shook his head, or Michelangelo grumbled, Leo always knew that deep down the actions meant something else.
"Fuckin' overcontrollin' jackass, I hate you, ya bastard!" You control me too much, but I understand.
"I got it, Leonardo. You can leave now, I don't want you making something important explode." Okay, Leo. Please leave, I don't want you getting hurt.
"Geez Leo, I can do it myself! You don't need to always be watching!" Could you let me try? I think I can do it this time.
Because in the end, they were family. A clan of mutants that were isolated from the world and only had each other. Besides, how could Leo be selfish enough to take his life when he knew, deep, deep down that his brothers would fall apart?
That's why Leo knew he could never die. It'd destroy them, because eventually, they'd figure out they they were the ones who caused it. And then they would be so guilt ridden that then they would destroy each other and themselves in the process. And Leo couldn't bear the knowledge that he would be the reason that the Hamato clan disintegrated. So, he sucked it up, took care of them when they were sick, and nodded when they were angry.
Leonardo did his best to let the bad words wash over him and to soak up the good ones, but sometimes things went wrong and the opposite would happen, words like disappointment and perfect bastard ring in his mind, while things like Wow, Leo! and Could you show me? would fade away. But Leo didn't care.
I mean after all, he was honor bound.
