A/N: This was inspired by a moment I alluded to in "Absolution." Not required reading, just a bit of trivia.
It was gray outside and raindrops fell with little regard for the residents of Republic City who were attempting to remain dry. Vendors pulled their carts in, deployed their awnings and pedestrians ran for cover under overhangs as the sky rumbled with displeasure. The noise of it reverberated off the stone buildings lining the block, causing a little girl to clasp her hands over her ears in fright. Kya, who didn't mind the rain at all, gave the child a reassuring smile as she passed.
Arriving at her destination she caught a glimpse of her friend, who could be more accurately described her sister, through the window. Lin sat inside the restaurant wrapped in a warm evergreen sweater, clutching a steaming cup of tea. Her expression was darker than the cloudy heavens and Kya thought for a moment that she could give the angry sprits responsible for this thundering a run for their money.
She pushed the door open and once inside, bent the water from her clothes and returned the rain to nature. Kya wiped her feet and was greeted by an enthusiastic hostess as the bell on the door chimed above her head.
"I'm meeting someone, thank you," she explained kindly passing the woman and making a beeline for Lin.
Something inside the warm mug appeared to have Lin transfixed. She stared into the mug so intently that she did not notice Kya's arrival.
"Are you heating that with your eyes?" Kya joked as she slid into the seat across the table from Lin.
Lin's head snapped up, giving Kya a weak smile.
"Hey Kya," she greeted.
"Sorry I'm running a little late. I just saw Mom off at the docks. I hope the weather is not too rough for her return trip," she sighed, opening a menu.
"I'm sure Katara can handle it," Lin mused without much inflection. Kya scanned the menu, then looked up, sensitive to Lin's negative energy.
"She wanted me to say she is sorry she couldn't make it out tonight. Important avatar duties, you know," Kya explained. Lin nodded absently. A few minutes passed in silence.
"I was metalbending at age seven," Lin said, taking a sip of her tea.
Kya gave her a puzzled look.
"I'm just saying, how much training does that kid need? She's the avatar...just seems like she'd be set by now..." Lin explained, looking away. Her eyes drifted over the other patrons and Kya was tempted to defend young Avatar Korra and her mother, but realized it wasn't something Lin would be open to hearing just now.
"Everyone has their own pace," Kya offered diplomatically as she continued to peruse the menu. The waitress approached and both women ordered a bowl of comforting ramen.
"Anything to drink?"
"Just water please," Kya responded.
Lin hesitated a moment, "Ah fuck it," she mumbled before addressing this waitress, "I'll take some soju, please."
"No problem," the waitress nodded, taking her leave with their menus in hand.
"I could use a drink," Lin explained. Kya gave her a knowing look and sighed.
"So, how is work?" Kya asked, avoiding the obvious subject. As soon as Lin began her reply, Kya was formulating other questions in her mind that might keep the conversation from veering in the direction of why she was visiting Republic City in the first place.
They spoke through their meals with a stiffness not typical of their conversations. Kya and Lin were familiar and extremely close, but the uncomfortable subject of Kya's visit lingered between them as they slurped their noodles. Kya updated Lin on her own children, which were getting ready to leave the nest. They lamented how quickly time moves, how fast children grow, how rapidly life can change.
By the time their bowls were cleared, Lin's cheeks were aglow. Their ramen had been hot and spicy, but the cause of Lin's blush was the soju. She hardly paused between sips of the alcohol and barely touched her meal. When the waitress returned, she placed a fresh bottle before Kya and then with an anxious glance, placed yet another before Lin.
"That was delicious," Kya sighed as she sipped her after-dinner drink.
Lin nodded, her movements lazy and lethargic.
"So..." Lin began, with a slight slur to her words, "how is the baby?"
Kya exhaled. She had hoped to stay away from this topic, but realized the redder Lin's cheeks became, the closer she was to bringing it up.
"We don't have to talk about this," Kya replied sympathetically reaching across the table to settle her hand over Lin's. Lin pulled her arm back, staring that the spot her hand had been for a moment too long before meeting Kya's gaze again.
"It's fine. Let's talk about it," she insisted.
"The baby is healthy," she relented.
"It's a girl, right? I read in the paper they named her Jinora," Lin followed, screwing her face up at the end of her statement.
"Jinora..." Lin repeated to herself, "Jin-or-a," she said again, testing the sound of it aloud. Lin placed her elbow on the table, resting her head on her open palm. Her head appeared a little too heavy against it and she slipped down a little before looking at Kya seriously.
"That is an awful fucking name," she told her with a a light laugh. "I mean, can you imagine going through life with the name Jinora? Ugh."
Kya shrugged and pushed the money for their meal over toward the edge of the table slightly, hoping the waitress would return at the sight of it.
"Jinora, dinner is ready! Jinora, clean your room! Jinora, listen to your father," Lin played out various uses of the name, shaking one finger at Kya for dramatic effect. "Listen to your father- who is Tenzin, by the way."
Kya's eyebrows knitted together with concern and sympathy. It couldn't have been easy for Lin to read the news of Jinora's birth. Lin was always terribly stoic and appeared detached and unaffected, but having known her since childhood, Kya realized it was all a facade. She'd seen Lin break down into a whirlwind of emotion on very few occasions and this was shaping up to be one of them.
"Maybe we should get going," Kya told her.
"We're waiting for our change," Lin argued, quickly swinging back to the subject of Tenzin's first child. "You know- it could be worse. He wanted to name our baby Ikki. Sounds like Icky. Spirits, Tenzin is an idiot, you know that? What a fucking idiot with that name..." she sighed with a deprecating laugh.
Kya sat across from her, lips pursed, willing the waitress to return. At this point she was ready to leave without their change, the escalation of Lin's foul language usually coincided with her alcohol consumption and her f-bombs were getting closer together with every sentence.
"I fucking hate that name," she mumbled. "If we had ended up having a kid there is no way I would let him get away with that shit. But we didn't. Because I don't want kids."
"I know," Kya replied, empathetic.
"Everyone knows that," Lin retorted. Kya nodded as she looked out anxiously into the dining room.
"You know who does want kids? Pema, apparently. How can she even have a kid- has she even had her first period yet?"
Kya gave Lin a warning look, attempting to quiet her as gently as possible. The other diners were beginning to take notice of their table.
"What?" Lin asked in response to Kya's expression, "I'm sorry. You probably like her. Do you like her?" Kya sighed and Lin threw her hands up before her face, "Don't answer that. I don't even want to know. It doesn't matter. Tenzin does though, he definitely likes her. And now they have a baby..." there was a pause, "...Tenzin has a baby, Kya."
Lin's eyes clouded over at the reality of her statement and she pat the table with a rapid urgency, attempting to retain some composure, "I want to leave now. Can we go? Let's go."
"Yeah, of course," Kya agreed, standing with relief. Lin wobbled slightly when she stood, bracing herself with one hand against her empty chair. Kya reached out and linked her arm through Lin's, leading her out of the restaurant without the protest she anticipated.
"Its fucking raining!" Lin exclaimed when they stepped into the downpour. Kya almost laughed at her, amused that the weather came as some kind of a surprise.
"I'll keep us dry," Kya offered, waving her free hand and creating a shield around the two of them.
They arrived at Lin's house in record time considering the earthbender's state. Kya thought she might be combative, insisting that she walk alone, but Lin complied with Kya's assistance, clumsily, but quietly.
Upon swinging the door inward, Lin proclaimed that she would like another drink and disappeared into the kitchen. She returned to living room gripping two cold beer bottles.
"Are you sticking around?" Lin asked, stretching an arm out to offer up the bottle.
"Yeah," Kya confirmed accepting the drink. They sat beside each other on the sofa and Lin wasted no time taking a swig. Kya wasn't going to stop her. Lin had no work tomorrow and was rather emotionally stunted in her opinion. She may have a hangover tomorrow, but if alcohol was the key to unlock a cathartic experience in Lin, Kya figured it was worth it in the long run. She always felt Lin's tendency to bury and mask her feelings was an unhealthy one.
Lin took another lengthy gulp. Coming up for air she apologized, "Sorry that I'm drunk."
Kya held up a hand, "I don't mind. I honestly think it is just what you need right now."
Lin huffed darkly, "I need to get a fucking grip- that is what I need." She ran a hand through her dark hair, revealing glimpses of gray between her fingers. A few strands came loose and fell before her eyes. Lin gripped them and her eyes crossed slightly as she studied them. "I'm falling apart."
"You are not," Kya assured, "you are just growing."
Lin leaned back on the couch, her head resting along the back, eyes fixed on the blank ceiling, "I'm not talking about my hair."
Kya reached one hand over and pat Lin's knee, "Aw, sissy," she began, "you are going to be fine. You are the strongest person I know."
Something about that sentence triggered a reaction in Lin and her face scrunched up, tears rolling out the sides of her closed eyelids. She wiped at her cheeks and sniffed, lifting her head again to look forward at nothing.
They sat quietly for a moment, Kya pondering what part of her statement had brought tears to Lin's eyes. Lin knew what it was exactly, but was unwilling to share. It was the nickname she used. Kya had been calling Lin "sissy" or "sis" since they were children. They had always regarded one another as sisters, but now they weren't. Pema was her sister. Pema was Katara's daughter. Pema was Tenzin's wife. And suddenly Lin was obsolete.
She imagined how happy they all were with the easy-going acolyte. How uncomplicated and agreeable she was- willing to have a child within months of joining the family. Lin had never been like that, was never what the family truly desired. She thought about how pleased Aang would be to know there was another potential airbender in the world thanks to the selfless and heroic Pema. The mere thought of how much he would have loved Pema caused tears to spring to Lin's eyes again.
It wasn't just Tenzin she had lost. It was her only living family. Covering her face, she leaned forward and sobbed. She felt the delicate touch of Kya's hand on her back, moving up and down lightly.
"I know its difficult right now, but you can handle this, Lin. You can handle anything," Kya whispered kindly.
There was another sob that sounded suspiciously like a muffled laugh from behind Lin's hands. She wiped them down her face, revealing bloodshot eyes.
"Does it look like I handle things well, Kya?"
"Crying isn't a bad way of handling emotions- its natural."
"I'm way worse off than you think," Lin replied with a sniff, taking another sip. Kya gave her a skeptical look and Lin sighed.
"I almost had sex with Bumi a couple months ago," she confessed. Kya lifted her hands in the air and covered her ears.
"Ok, no. Please don't tell me that," she pled in a sharp voice. Lin gave her a watery smirk, point proved. "Why? Why would you almost...do that...with Bumi?"
"Because I don't handle things well," Lin supplied, "We didn't do it though, but... almost."
Kya cringed at the thought. It was difficult enough to imagine her youngest brother with Lin, but time had weathered that notion to be taken for granted. This new information about her middle brother was more than Kya wanted to know.
"Tenzin would kill Bumi, if he knew that," Kya thought aloud.
Lin looked over skeptically, "I don't think he cares anymore."
For a moment, Kya considered correcting her. She knew that Tenzin would care. Tenzin did care. Earlier that afternoon Tenzin had been suspiciously interested in who exactly Kya had dinner plans with. When she finally assured him it was Lin and Lin alone, he looked briefly relieved. It did not escape her notice that Tenzin was feeling illogically and inappropriately jealous of some imagined boyfriend.
Kya watched as Lin wiped her nose, eyes rimmed red, cheeks raw, and thought about how this little detail might lift her spirits. And then, she thought better of it. It was a passing moment, a false hope, and an irreparable situation. There was no sense in trying to get around it- the hard truth was that Lin would have to simply go through it. She might have to hit rock bottom first, but the good news was once she was there- the only place to go was up.
As Kya turned to bestow this gem of wisdom on the sister she never had, she saw Lin lurch forward as a hand flew to her mouth. She jumped up and sprinted to the bathroom. Coughing and hacking followed and Kya decided tonight might just be the rock bottom moment she needed. Kya recalled something her father once said, "When we reach our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change." She listened for Lin's gasping breath, knowing this was that point, but change was coming.
Tomorrow was a new day.
