Come In With The Rain

I bit my lip, trying to stop my thoughts from wandering. Normally it wouldn't have been a problem. Normally I would be thrilled to have a project to focus on, especially one that involved construction. But nothing was normal now. Not with him gone.

I knew that if I let myself, I could just resign to lying on the beach, going through everything we'd been through, each moment we'd shared, and for that hour or so I'd be lost in memory, and escape the pain for a little while. And then reality would come crashing through my thoughts like opening floodgates, and I would be drowned in hopelessness once more.

I could go back to every laugh

But I don't want to go anymore

If I wanted to, I could walk out the door of the Athena cabin, and even in the pitch dark, make my way to his cabin, and just lie there, staring at the pictures of us plastered on his wall. I could navigate my way blindfolded, without a second thought. The amount of time I spent there…almost as much, if not more, than I did in my own.

I could even spend the night there if I wanted to – nobody would see me, and even if they did, I doubt they would try and stop me.

But then again, the morning would just bring another day of the sun lighting up the sea blue cabin, the empty sea blue cabin, with no-one in it.

And I know all the steps up to your door

But I don't want to go there anymore

So I drew my thoughts out on blueprints, took my anger out on training dummies, blamed my pain on the gods and screamed at the sky, demanding answers from the only one who had them.

"What have you done with him? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?"

I nearly fell apart that day on the skywalk, when I thought I might have finally found him, and all I got were some typical demigods in their typical denial stage.

And still they said nothing. For the first time I began to wonder if they even cared.

Talk to the wind, talk to the sky

Talk to the man with the reasons why

And let me know what your find

Every night, every day blurred into each other, and soon I lost count of them altogether. Each night I would lay down in bed, and push the window open, hoping maybe, just maybe, he would be there in the morning for me, coming in with that sea breeze like his father so often did, like part of the rain that fell around the camp's borders – and in my mind.

I'll leave my window open

'Cause I'm too tired at night to call your name

Just know that I'm here hoping

That you'll Come In With The Rain

Eventually, after all the torment, the anguish, the anticipation, the stress, the heartache, we arrived outside the Roman camp. And I hated that even then we were taking a chance, that he still might not remember us – remember me.

Yes, I could go right out and tell him everything – and I was half tempted to do just that, but the small part of my brain that had managed to stay logical despite the turmoil pointed out that it wouldn't truly be him remembering. This time, he had to do it himself.

I could stand up and sing you a song

But I don't want to have to go that far

When he held his hand out and asked for my name, I didn't snap, or cry, or kiss him, or even turn away. I answered smoothly in a voice I hardly recognized as my own, masked with bravado, covering all the pain and anguish underneath.

I knew everything about him. I knew things nobody else did- his Achilles Heel, the only thing that could make him cry, his worst fear – Hades, I even knew how he ate his scrambled eggs.

And he didn't even remember my name.

And I, I've got you down

I know you by heart

And you don't even know where I start

It wouldn't be fair to say he didn't try. He did. I could tell he was curious, didn't understand why I was avoiding him, why I spoke to him as little as possible.

The real reason? I was afraid. Scared that he would say or do something that would cause me to finally break. It hurt too much.

So I snapped at him, even if I didn't really mean it. I took it out on him even though it wasn't his fault. At least he could've been a little less thick. I told him to go ask someone else, figure it out himself, talk to the gods, the ones who caused all of this– and eventually he stopped trying. He always looked though. Countless times I felt his gaze from across the dining hall at the Roman camp, and it took all I had not to meet it.

Talk to yourself, talk to the tears

Talk to the man who put you here

And don't wait for the sky to clear

None of it stopped me from having that small spark of hope, night and night again, that maybe by some miracle he would remember again, and some god would have mercy. Every night I slid my window open and stared out to the sea, listening to the waves lapping against the shore. It had become my favorite place – the closest I could get to my Percy, not this one who had no idea who I was. The closest I could get to being myself again, to easing the pain.

I'll leave my window open

'Cause I'm too tired at night to call your name

Just know that I'm here hoping

That you'll Come In With The Rain

At some two weeks into our time at the Roman camp, I came to a point of depression. I had watched him for so long, hoping and praying that he would remember. I had dropped hints and stared and shouted at the sky and begged the gods and willed him to remember…what more could I do? Was this it?

All that I could think was that Percy was gone, and I had no idea if he was ever coming back. By the looks of it, probably not. And that scared me more than anything else. How many times did I have to lose the ones I loved the most?

I've watched you so long

Screamed your name

I don't know what else I can say

I focused on the digital clock on the wall of the Minerva cabin, unable to find any sleep.

Midnight.

I sighed and slid out of bed, my feet padding noiselessly across the wooden floor. I slipped out of the cabin and walked barefoot across to the beach, and sat down on the powdery sand. The sky was a solid black, with a few silver stars sparkling in contrast. The full moon hung above the ocean, casting a pale reflection onto the water, making it shine. Everything was quiet except for the quiet, peaceful lapping of the waves against the shore. I closed my eyes. I was so tired of all these mind games the gods were playing. Couldn't they just give an answer? This was no puzzle I could solve with logic. It was out of my control, and there was just nothing I could do but come out here to collect my thoughts, and be…alone, away from the chaos.

But I'll leave my window open

'Cause I'm too tired at night for all these games

"Can't sleep either?"

My eyes snapped open. He stood there, right beside me, his sea green eyes shining in the moonlight.

"Yeah," I agreed smiling hesitantly at him.

"You should relax a little more. It helps." He plopped down on the sand next to me, and I turned my gaze back to the ocean.

"It's hard to, when…" I trailed off with a sigh.

"See, that's what everyone always says. Whenever anyone gets this look on their face, I know it's about me, but everyone refuses to tell me about it. How am I supposed to remember anything?"

His forehead was scrunched up in that adorable way he gets whenever he's worried.

"Believe me, I wish you could just as much as you do," I said sadly, tilting my head up too look at him.

He placed his hand carefully on top of mine, which was resting on the sand. I tensed, but slowly relaxed.

"Annabeth…I know you're important, but you've got to help me here. I-I'm sorry, I'm trying, I really am, but-"

Just know that I'm here hoping

That you'll Come In With The Rain

It was his turn to tense up as I moved my hand from underneath his to under the back of his shirt until it rested on the one point connecting him to this world – the small of his back.

He shuddered. "What-"

"Your Achilles spot. Just thought I'd let you know."

I withdrew my hand, and couldn't help but smile when he looked disappointed. I slipped my hand back into his and gave it a comforting squeeze, and my smiled broadened until I felt as close to happiness than I had in over a month.

"We'll make it through, Seaweed Brain. We always do."

I could go back to every laugh

But I don't want to go there anymore

~End~