Title: Blood
Summary: Ivan and Natalya didn't drink milk when they were babies. Inspired by the My Chemical Romance song and those pretty swirly lights I see all the time.
Genres: Humor/Horror
Characters: Russia and Belarus
Rating: T for disturbingness.
Ivan slurped greedily at his bottle. The roses on the windowsill (he'd have preferred sunflowers) and the coos of the doctors and nurses did nothing for his happiness compared to the taste of the thick red liquid.
His mother and father looked adoringly down at their baby boy and girl.
"Why do you think they do that?" Mr. Braginski asked.
"Drink blood?" Mrs. Braginski shrugged it off. "It makes our preciouses haaappy," she gushed, leaning down to give Natalya, who had a similar diet, another bottle.
However, as the two babies grew, their thirst did as well. Soon, they had emptied the hospital's blood bank and were still going strong.
Blood was brought in from other hospitals. When their banks were empty, huge blood drives were held to sate the thirst of the siblings.
The blood was never enough. This was proven when, one day, Ivan and Natalya were found next to a stricken doctor, guzzling out of wounds in his neck.
Ivan and Natalya were finally exposed for what they were! What exactly that was, nobody was quite sure! Inappropriately placed exclamation points were involved! By this time, they were too strong. Nothing could stop the vicious infants.
With a clinical efficiency, Ivan and Natalya emptied house after house, town after town, city after city...country...after...country...
Finally, about one year after they began their rampage, all seven billion humans were dead.
And Ivan and Natalya were still thirsty.
Natalya looked at her older brother. "Now what, Ivan?" she asked in her baby voice.
Ivan thought for a minute. Then they broke into NASA and flew off in a spaceship. It was extremely badass. Very few toddlers can be badass but these two managed it. They were going to Pluto to see if they could drink any alien blood there.
"TO PLUTOOO!" cheered Natalya.
And Ivan, being a good Russian, yelled, "VODKAAA!"
FIN
A/N: ...There is something very, very wrong with me. I blame Gerard Way for writing the damn song.
Did it occur to anyone that you could substitute Prussia and France for Ivan and Natalya, and make it having sex instead of drinking blood? It would sound like some bad rap. Like, how ever since they were babies they screwed people, and when they'd screwed every single person on Earth they flew to Pluto to screw aliens. Gah, I should get some sleep.
SO GIVE THEM BLOOD, BLOOD, GALLONS OF THE STUFF, GIVE THEM ALL THAT THEY CAN DRINK AND IT WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH...
