Somewhere Only We Know - With You:
Yes I changed the name xD
The scene from 1x20. Stefan is wallowing in self pity therefore craves to end his own life. Elena is distraught and so calls on her vampire friend Caroline to talk some sense into her lover. How will things turn out when Caroline is faced with a suicidal Stefan?
A/N: So basically, it's a 1x20 oneshot only Caroline is a vampire (Damon turned her when he was messing with her, just so it's easier) and Stefan still helped her and all that happened. Sorry if it's confusing but I just had this vision and needed to put it down. Enjoy.
The phone call from Elena was worrying. Caroline had never heard that sort of hysterical panic in her voice before, so within minutes she was straight over at the boarding house banging on the thick, dark wood. The door flung open quickly and Caroline was now faced with her past lover rolling his eyes in annoyance. Elena was soon by his side, her faced tear streaked and puffy. Caroline's lips parted. Her first instinct as a human would be to hug her friend, comfort her and tell her that things were going to be alright. But Caroline had grown wise in her afterlife, therefore knew the best thing for Elena would be to get Stefan back and not waste time on the small things.
"Where is he?" Was all she said. Elena nodded as she lifted her hand to rub the shiny liquid travelling down her nose, understanding that time was of the essence.
"I don't know" She spoke. Caroline sighed. Why was she here if Elena didn't even know where Stefan was?
"Down by the lake that runs under Wickery Bridge. You'll find him there" Damon said bluntly, spitting the words through gritted teeth, lashing his alcoholic substance on the pavement before sharply turning and disappearing inside. Elena's face softened, her gaze remaining on Damon until she could no longer see him. Caroline smiled softly when their eyes met again. The distance between the two friends didn't feel right. But things hadn't been the same in a long time now. Not since her transformation. Elena stepped closer to Caroline extending her hand. Caroline looked bewilderedly at the lapis lazuli ring with the 'S' carved into it. A type of ring she was all too familiar with to not recognise. She took the ring and pushed it down into the pocket of her jeans. With one last intake of air Caroline tucked a glossy curl behind her small ear and zoomed off into the dark forest. She knew her way very well, like half the kids in this town. During summer breaks while other kids would be camping with their parents, the parents of Mystic Falls would be too busy with preparation for all kind of events they wouldn't be allowed to attend. So the woods, and each other, was kinda the only thing they had during them summers. Of course, then they all turned thirteen and were suddenly expected to attend all these events and know every freaking thing about them. The only one out of their group of friends that actually had a pleasant childhood was Elena. Another reason Caroline envied her. Caroline shook the thoughts of her lonely childhood from her mind and continued to focus on Stefan. Poor Stefan. She knew he had a dark past but never had she considered him to be suicidal. Zooming through the woods she finally caught a glance of the shimmering liquid and a dark silhouette tumbling around in front of it. Within a second she was there, approaching Stefan.
"Stefan" She started, forcing him out of his dazed. He turned around with a hopeless expression on his face. An ache grew in Caroline's cold chest. Stefan's eyes were completely glazed, as if he'd been crying for hours. He wore grey sweats, a white tank top and a black jacket over. He looked…vulnerable. Something Stefan had never been to Caroline. His breathing was uneven as he shut his eyes tightly.
"I should have died that night" He whispered. Caroline knew instantly what he meant as a knot formed strongly in her stomach. "I can't live, with this guilt. It's too much this time" She shook her head, frightened as to what the hell Stefan was thinking. Surely he wouldn't leave Elena, Damon…me. Caroline thought to herself. Stefan was her best friend. She wasn't just gonna let him leave her that easily. She was sick to death of people she cared about walking out of her life and abandoning her. As the distance between the vampires decreased Caroline began to string a sentence together to say to her friend.
"No. I'm not going to let you do this" She said confidently, although the demand sounded more like a plea. Stefan's head snapped up, his lips parted as his eyes scrolled Caroline's face. Caroline's eyebrows were narrowed inwards desperately waiting for Stefan to just say he's being completely silly and of course he isn't going to kill himself.
"Since I've come back here so many people have died or been hurt…even you. It's my fault you're a vampire. If it wasn't for me-"
"Okay that's enough" Caroline cut him off, slightly enraged. How dare Stefan blame himself for her turning, how dare he! Caroline snatched Stefan's lifeless hands and held them. "Me turning? Was not and I repeat not your fault okay? It's Damon's fault. He's the one who couldn't help but mess with the sheriff's daughter. Listen to me Stefan!" She ordered sternly as the liquid in his beautiful emerald eyes shone in the calm, silver glow that radiated from the moon. Stefan's chest throbbed in and out, not knowing whether to look at Caroline's face or the floor. Caroline continued. "You can't change what happened. I mean…so you've made some bad decisions. Who hasn't? If I hadn't have been so desperate and stupid I wouldn't have been turned into a vampire. But then if I hadn't have been so desperate and stupid you and I wouldn't have this insanely awesome friendship that I cherish so much and I wouldn't be the girl I am today. I'm sure you can remember what I was like as a human. Insecure, jumpy, naïve. All that's changed because of my immortality. So you can regret not dying all those years ago all you want but just do me a favour. Imagine if you hadn't have saved Elena that night. Imagine if you decided to avoid visiting home one more year and Elena died. Mystic Falls is a better place with you in it. So people have been hurt. People get hurt all the time, every single day. What's happening now is not your fault…" Caroline slowed down because Stefan's face was now inches away from hers. His perfectly sculpted jaw bobbed up and down understandably. Caroline gasped silently as she felt Stefan's warm, minty breath brush along her cheek. That traumatised expression still possessing his features. His top lip twitched slightly as the bottom lip separated from it.
"I know…it's hard for you to understand Caroline. But don't make everything okay. Don't make it…easy for me. I don't deserve it" He said bluntly, his face still so incredibly close to Caroline's. Caroline shakes her head as her eyes wonder down towards to prickly grass with yellow tips due to the time of year. "It hurts me" He carried on, his voice beholding a tone that forced Caroline's heart to snap into two, sharp pieces "It hurts me knowing what I've done and that pain? That pain is with me all the time and sometimes I just think. If I…if I just give myself over to the blood I can make that pain stop. It would be that easy. And I fight that everyday Caroline. The next time I hurt someone it could be Elena, Jeremy, Damon…you"
"Is that what this is about Stefan? Your bloodlust? You think I don't get that? Of course I understand what all the craze is about. Don't forget compared to you I'm a baby vampire. Even now after almost half a year I still loose it sometimes. Maybe you have done a lot to feel guilty for bu-"
"It's not about that Caroline!" Stefan yelled, his voice croaking as he finished speaking as the first tear dropping from his left eye. Caroline was abruptly shocked at Stefan's outrage. He has always been calm and collected. He never lost it. In a strange way this frightened Caroline for many reasons. Stefan's eyes slid shut for a moment shaking his head in self pity. "It's about me…being a…being a-"
"A monster…" She finished. Stefan's eyes re-opened, beholding a spark of something Caroline couldn't quite grasp at the moment. Maybe it was a sense of realisation that the two were more similar than he ever thought. Maybe it was amazement, in having someone understand fully. Stefan had never been attracted to Caroline. Hell, they were best friends. But all of a sudden, right there under the moonlight an overwhelming feeling of desire washed upon his being. He suddenly wanted to touch Caroline's pink coloured cheeks and test if they were as soft as they looked. He wanted to entangle his large muscled fingers into her golden locks splitting all the perfect curls forcing them to become wild and free. He wanted to make her feel special, wanted…loved. He wanted his lips…to collide with her beautiful, wonderful, red rose ones. He wanted to scoop her of her feet right now and take her somewhere in which they would explore each other in ways Elena would never let him. Ah yes. Elena. Elena, his one sweet love that seemed somewhat… inexistent to him at this very moment.
And the feeling was mutual. Only these feelings had been circling Caroline's body for quite some time now. At the end of the day they were bonded in a special, unique way. Caroline wouldn't call it love because she knows how he feels about Elena, and to love somebody they have to love you back. Or, so that's what Caroline told herself. Truth be told Caroline was scared. Scared that if one day she confessed all Stefan would turn his back and never speak to her again. She feared that very much. Stefan gently stroked Caroline's left hand with his thumb, the two forgetting their entwined fingers were still locked together. Caroline's smile was comforting, yet she still managed to look so heartbreakingly beautiful to Stefan. "Don't do this. Please". At that moment Stefan wished his feelings about his suicidal situation were different. He so wanted to give Caroline what she asked for. But to Stefan, letting the sun turn his body into a pile of meaningless ashes was the only way Mystic Fall's could be a better place. With their faces still awfully close together, Stefan leaned his forehead against Caroline's in which she shut her eyes, knowing she wasn't getting through to him. Its not love…Caroline thought continuously. Oh but it was close. Caroline inhaled deeply as she allowed the voice in the back of her mind speak. Of course you love him you fool. The female vampire bit her lip as her eyes began to fill with liquid. She started crying for many reasons. She honestly didn't want Stefan to die. She needed him in her life! Caroline also couldn't bare the thought that Stefan would never love her the way she loves him. It broke her heart just thinking about it. Finally, after a long painfully blissful moment Caroline removed her left hand from Stefan's and reached into her pocket, where she wrapped her dainty fingers around the lapis lazuli stone.
Letting salt water seep from her eyes, creating trails of glitter down her cheeks as they fell, Caroline looked deeply into Stefan's breathtaking features. She placed the ring into his palm and watched as his expression grew confused yet bewildered as he wondered how she could have possibly found the ring. "I know what it's like Stefan. You're not alone...you're never alone. So you can take this. Throw it in the quarry and let the sun rise" She began, her voice just a whisper. "Or you can take this and keep fighting. You made a choice to be good. And you are Stefan. You are so good." Caroline gulped as she lifted her hand to the nape of Stefan's neck, placing a gentle kiss on his ice cold cheek. "It's your choice" She whispered huskily into Stefan's ear stroking a piece of his hair that stuck out at the back of his neck. The vampire unwillingly pulled away and smiled before turning around and walking slowly towards the forest, sending mental prayers to whoever was in charge up there to give Stefan the guidance he needed to make the right decision. Caroline waited for him to shout her name. But he didn't. It terrified her. What if her attempt had failed? What if she walked away now, never to see her beloved Stefan ever again? Would she even be able to carry on liv- before she could finish the thought Stefan's voice finally broke through the silent, painful atmosphere.
"Caroline…" He said, clearing his throat after. Caroline turned around almost too quickly to find Stefan's cheeks sparkling. He sniffled, eyebrows furrowed inwards as he slipped the ring onto his middle finger. She couldn't help but smile. A silence clung in the air as the two vampires shared an unusual gaze that was packed with emotions. For Stefan he was realising something he probably should've a long time ago. He had unknowingly come to love this girl right in front of him. How had he not noticed before? He shook his head, a small smile growing. He loved her. And he had loved her for quite some time now. Without anymore thinking Stefan sped towards his friend whose face was now free of anything but happiness and joy at his decision. When Stefan finally approached Caroline he lifted both of his hands softly up to her cheeks, amazed at how smooth her skin felt under the, equally as smooth, pads of his thumbs. He gulped hard, wiping any remains of tears he had caused her on her face, then planting a beautiful, passionate kiss on her sweet sweet lips. The two were incredibly hesitant sharing a million thoughts about whether they should continue the kiss or not.
But as Stefan deepened the kiss Caroline couldn't imagine anything else feeling more right than this. Her fingers walked up Stefan's stomach, his blatant muscles shivering slightly at her tender touch. Her hands remained on his chest as his fingers crept up to her hair taking fistfuls of her curls into his hands. Caroline let Stefan's tongue slip in and out of her mouth whilst inhaling his magical scent that drove her insane. Oh God he tastes delicious, Caroline thought to herself as an outburst of colour broke out behind her eyelids. Pinks, blues, oranges, yellows. It was so undoubtedly beautiful. By the time Caroline had let her hands lock around Stefan's neck, their bodies were touching everywhere. Stefan could feel the warmth of Caroline's skin press against him through his clothes and believed the aspect to be one of the most amazing little things to ever have experienced in his life. Suddenly he was glad he didn't go through with killing himself because missing out on this seemed unacceptable to him. With every touch…every movement…every motion of the mouth the kiss dared to turn into something more. But they were already breaking the rules. Or were they? Was kissing someone you were in love with really breaking the rules? Sure, he was acting unfaithful towards Elena but something about this kiss forced Stefan to wonder whether Elena is the one he really wanted to be with. He still cared about her…but this new feeling his body possessed for Caroline could not be ignored so easily. They both indulged in each other as much as possible until finally their swollen mouths slowed and their lips pulled apart. Both vampires' lips curled upwards as their foreheads made contact. A small, breathless laugh escaped from Caroline's mouth which only made Stefan's smile enlarge. After a moment of pure silence, both of their hands had for the second time found their way to each others.
"Caroline…" Stefan started. Caroline was amused in how the tone of his voice had changed so quickly. She liked to think she was part of that.
"Mhm?" She replied, still unable to speak from the kiss Stefan and she had just shared.
"Thank you" He simply said. Caroline licked her dry lips, gulping down a couple of times in hope to be able to actually speak.
"No problem. You saved my life remember? Consider us even"
Stefan did remember. He remembered Caroline, absolutely ripped apart after finding out what Damon had done to her. He remembered how Caroline craved to be dead! She refused to linger in this world as an immortal. She didn't want to kill to survive. She wanted to be dead and Stefan took care of that immediately. The hairs on the back of Stefan's neck arose as his mind took him to that one night when a hysterical Caroline showed up at his home, pleading with him to take a stake and stab it through her heart. Stefan took care of her immediately once he realised how bad her situation was getting. He showed her the way he lived; he shared things with her. Thing he had never shared with anyone else, as did she with him. Since then their friendship blossomed into something entirely different. They really should have noticed. The secret gazes they shared, the flirtatious compliments they exchanged…it should have made sense that there relationship was a lot more than a 'friendship'.
"I love you…" Stefan let the words fall from his mouth, not caring whether she would say it back or whether she felt the same. Caroline's eyes widened as she starred deeply into Stefan's eyes. Had he really just said that?
"W-what?" Was all she could say. Stefan's eyes suddenly grew fully of worry and nervousness. What if she didn't love him and he had just jumped to conclusions?
"You love me?" Caroline asked in such a shaken, child-like voice. Could it be possible that…Stefan actually said that? Or was Caroline dreaming? When Stefan nodded hesitantly she responded almost straight away and pulled his face back down to hers, stealing another longing kiss from him. She felt Stefan smile as their tongues moulded brilliantly together. Caroline let Stefan's arms wrap around her as the kiss changed into a loving embrace. They stayed like that for a long time. Stefan placed warm kisses on Caroline's neck, as her eyes slid shut at the touch.
"I love you too"
