Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me.
His Regret
A rush of memories flitted past the minds' eye of Neji as he drew himself to stand taller and straighter while tightening the grip of the hand clasped at his upper arm. The suit he was wearing felt stiff and uncomfortable but for her he would have done anything. This was the moment. As the opening chords of the ever familiar tune were played, the two children standing before him began walking forward, strewing flower petals along the path. He could scarcely look at the person beside him as they began the trek forward, a few meters behind the children, for fear of losing his cool. She had wanted this. A Western wedding. How quaint and so against the customs of their very traditional family.
Oh, but she was not a part of that family anymore. Hyuuga Hiashi had disowned his oldest daughter because Hinata finally placed her foot down when she had come of age. At twenty-one, when she was named the Head of the Hyuuga clan, she had set about certain new rules such as no more segregation between the Main and Branch families, no more cursed seals branded on the Branch family young, no more utilizing of the cursed seal to force Branch family members to do the Main family's bidding. There was an outcry against her new rules and it had caused the council to hold a meeting whereupon they decided on the impeachment of Hyuuga Hinata and subsequently, her father was forced to disown her on the grounds that she had brought him much shame.
And all this time, Neji only watched silently. Once he had been so outspoken regarding these matters but when Hyuuga Hiashi had deemed him fit to be personally trained by him, Neji had decided to close an eye to the pain suffered by the rest of the Branch family. He only sought the means to become more powerful and Hiashi could provide that means.
So what was the point of regret when this was the choice he made? Power over principles. He wonders if she ever felt disappointed by his silence. He, who should have been the one who stood behind her, who should have supported her wholeheartedly, had done absolutely nothing but hid behind her father. He did not like to think that Hinata would be disappointed in him. Not at all.
Although Hinata had left the Hyuuga family after being disowned, Neji had continued to keep tabs on her, watching over her like an invisible guardian angel, even though she was no longer his Hinata-sama and he had no obligation to remain her protector. Was it done out of regret and shame or perhaps something more?
She being ninja too, caught him trailing her at one point; but one would be suspicious that a ninja of Neji's caliber could get caught. Perhaps he had intentionally allowed himself to be caught. Hinata had never questioned it, but that one incident allowed him back into her life. Hinata was always kind to him. This time was no different; and they became something akin to friends, a relationship they previously could not establish when they were both Hyuugas because of the seemingly impenetrable barrier between Main and Branch house. A barrier he created and imposed on both of them.
From friendship developed something else. Something like affection, fondness, admiration. Neji was hesitant to name that new emotion anything else. Perhaps he took her for granted, thinking she would always be there. But who was he kidding? These were just excuses. It was always his pride or maybe this time it was fear. Fear of becoming vulnerable. Whatever it was, he had refused to admit what he felt for her, until of course it became too late. He was always like this when it came to Hinata. Always too late, and then, always filled with regret. Since they were young, this vicious cycle had been perpetuating. From nearly taking her life at the chuunin exams, to keeping silent as she tried to effect change in the Hyuuga, to this. Today Hinata was getting married, and it was not to him. Even though he loved her. Yes. He now admits that he does indeed love her, but as usual it was too late.
As she now no longer officially had a father, Hinata had asked that he be the one to walk her down the aisle. "There is no one else I want to walk me down that aisle besides you." She had claimed. He could not refuse her. Besides, there was no one else. So they were now, proceeding down the aisle and he tried to imagine that it was to him she was getting married to. She had looked breathtaking in the white Western wedding gown which was partially the reason why he kept his gaze straight as they walked because he was afraid of what his eyes might betray. The normally impassive Neji was about to lose his cool. It was definitely the longest walk in his life although it could not have been more than thirty seconds.
He had always loved her he thought as they reached the head of the aisle and he handed her over to the groom. He just did not do anything about it and now there was the lingering taste of regret in his mouth. Regret and desperation. People always did do stupid things in such situations and Neji almost wanted to whisper, "I love you," into her ear as he was about to pass her hand over but how could he be that selfish.
Fortunately, with some effort, he managed to rein in his emotions and instead whispered, "All the best, Hinata." She had smiled brilliantly, mouthing a 'Thank you, nii-san' in response, and then her eyes and attention turned completely on the groom.
That was it. His role was done. The moment had passed and he would never have the chance, the hope of thinking that one day, she might love him back, the same way he loved her.
A/N: Found this in one of my folders. Think I wrote it long ago but forgot to post it. :P Well, better late than never.
