The host club stared at the just-closed door, each of them shaken by Tamaki's sudden announcement. It's not like him, Kaoru thought. He wouldn't abandon all these girls just to please one. Would he?

Kyoya, however, was the first to speak up. "I have to admit I wasn't expecting that," he murmured. "This puts a serious crimp in our plans for the fair." He surveyed the room, as if looking for the answer to an unspoken question, then shook his head. "Well, for the moment, we do have clients, everyone. It's back to work."

"Isn't that a little excessive?" Hikaru said. "Our leader leaves like that and you want us to carry on as usual?"

"Of course," Kyoya replied smoothly. "We'd have nothing to gain by forcing out our patrons."

Hikaru snorted, then muttered something that sounded like "You really are a heartless bastard" as he wandered back to the table he'd been entertaining. One by one, the other boys followed, until only Haruhi was left, gazing at the door in something like puzzlement. Then she felt a tug on her arm. Her head turned around, as if of its own accord, to see Honey looking up at her, concerned.

"Haru-chan, are you all right?" he asked sweetly.

"Huh?" Haruhi seemed dazed.

"You really like Tama-chan, don't you? You must be sad he's going to marry another girl."

"It's … his choice," Haruhi said, a bit grumpily.

"But you seem so sad," Honey persisted. "I don't like when my friends are sad!"

Haruhi reached down to ruffle his hair, but seeming to have forgotten how to, she just patted his head awkwardly. "I'm fine, Honey-senpai. Thanks."

Honey eyed her worriedly as he turned back to his clients. She knew she should return to hers, but it was as if she'd forgotten how to attend to them.

As if, in fact, she'd forgotten how to think about anything other than Tamaki.

A few weeks earlier, she wouldn't have understood it. But lately, she had come to the terrible realization that she loved Tamaki after all. Not as a father figure. But as a lover.

She had found herself playing an odd game, perhaps a twist on the "he loves me, he loves me not" trope she'd seen in American movies. Tamaki would flirt with her; she would believe that they were meant for each other. He would pay especially close attention to a client; she would think their love was doomed.

But this time, there could be no mistaking. Tamaki was no longer flirting. To him, the engagement was probably the most intense form of keeping a young lady happy: his utmost goal in life. To his family, it was almost certainly an economic arrangement. But to Haruhi, it was a signal that nothing would come of her feelings. She would have to let him go.

But how, she wondered, could she do that? From Arai's reaction to her inadvertently rejecting him, she had thought that letting go of an infatuation was a simple choice. Now, she thought that nothing could be harder.

Couldn't he see how she felt? Didn't he want to make her happy?

Nothing good can come of dwelling on it, said a voice in her head that sounded disturbingly like Kyoya's. It's unproductive.

Haruhi subconsciously clenched her fist. She would not cry, she decided. She and Tamaki could have had a beautiful story, but there was no chance of it now. It was time to close the door.


A/N: This fic, particularly the second half, was inspired by the ABBA song "Knowing Me, Knowing You," from which I also took the title.