I do not own anything of the Teletubbies, and yes, I spelled Teletubbies wrong. This actually isn't proventrue but for the readers imagination lets just say it is.Enjoy
I have here with me the truth about the tellitubies and their evil plans. Many people would want to know who are they...what are they...how did they come to earth...why would they making morning television a horror for TV viewers. Well I have here in my head, the TRUTH! I know what you're thinking, my head is not a sufficient space and the information is unreliable without support, but after you read the true and terrifying story of the Tellitubies, you'll see that they weren't just people dressed up in strange outfits, no. No they are creatures who were meant to destroy us ALL!
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, the supreme ruler of Tellitopia, a world unlike any other, gave birth to four creatures. They were, on that day, each bestowed a gift. Poe, who was Japanese, got a hover scooter with hydro powered rocket launchers and homing missiles in the shape of your everyday scooter. Lala, who was Mexican, was bestowed a giant yellow ball which was its disguise. It actually was a giant nuclear bomb which would blow up if it were to bounce for 10 min. uncontrollably. Dipsy, who was African American, got a tall top hat which was a nuclear waste cannon, guaranteed to deform anything it shot. Tinkie Winkie, who was gay, got a man bag. Know one seems to know why. Perhaps because it can give someone a nasty bruise with a hard whack. The Tellitubies set off to earth with Babicus Sunius, the commander of operations, Nanu, the vacuum to clean up their waste, and an unlimited supply of Tubby toast and Tubby custard. The only thing that kept them alive. The Tellitubies had only one objective. Take over the USA!
When they got to earth they all disguised themselves. The Tellitubies painted themselves different colors and implanted TV inside of them to please the many who are obsessed with TV. Babicus Sunuis disguised himself as a baby in a sun and cleverly went by the alias Baby Sun. The vacuum. Well he was a vacuum. The first day they went on the air I could care less about the new children's show. Yes, that's right, sneakily exposing themselves to the world as a TV children's show would make people less likely to believe they were creatures bent on destroying mankind. Well I was watching family guy a few nights after they aired. The Child Stuey was being hypnotized into watching it. I thought nothing of it, so I laughed. But a few days later I went to my cousins and the same scene happened. He couldn't leave the room because he was hypnotized so I did the only thing I knew how. I switched the channel. I started observing the show, and the side effects of it. I observed many things for instance; they talked in foreign languages using words like eh-o for multiple meanings. I also saw the vacuum clean up everything the little slobs threw on the ground. This taught small children to throw their own food on the ground. Though this wasn't the only thing they taught children to do wrong. Tinkie Winkie influenced younger viewers to carry around a man bag which obviously means they're gay. Dipsy influenced them to kill innocent animals for their fur and turn it into hats, like his zebra print hat. Lala influenced children to bounce and throw things around without parental supervision. Poe, of course the worst of all, influenced kids to ride scooters without the protective safety gear. Though that wasn't the end. The Sun taught children that they wanted go to the sun and Become Engulfed IN FLAMES BY THE FIREY PITS OF THE SUN! The foul creatures also taught kids to be spoiled little brats by saying "again again" after every viewing of the television.
I began to realize that this was not an ordinary children's show. O no, it was training children to join the resistance of the Tellitubies. Unfortunately I discovered this too late, because in almost every store, tellituby merchandise was everywhere and although the sales clerks didn't know it, all of the profits were shipped to the studio where the Tellitubies performed. How do I know this? I followed one of the trucks to the studio and what I found at the set was strange. There were no adults to supervise and edit or even film the show. The Tellitubies were doing it by themselves. I decided to look around the set and I found each of the creature's toys. But the toys weren't like the ones on the show, no, they were transformed into the weapons of mass destruction that they were. And they were meant to destroy the US. How do I know this? Well there was a sign above the weapons saying" the weapons of mass destruction that were meant to destroy the US"
I went home and tried to warn everyone about this. My parents wouldn't listen, they thought it was a cute kids show, my cousins didn't believe me, most had fallen to the dark side anyways, my friends thought it was a joke, and my sister...well I didn't tell her, but anywho, I then turned to the only man I could trust. Colin Powell. When we were about to storm the facility, 9-11 happened. It was a terrible tragedy and it also gave more time for our true enemies to reassemble. They moved their base somewhere else that know one knew where. The Tellitubies had a spy infiltrate government buildings and sent the rumor around of the whereabouts of the Tellitubies. In Iraq!
The Tellitubies knew that the relationship between Iraq and the US was weak. So they told the gov. that that's where they were. Colin Powel took command and went out to find the weapons of mass destruction, located somewhere in Iraq. After he decided they weren't there at all and he'd been set up, no one trusted him. He thought it would be no good to tell people he was indeed set up.
After a few years of searching, we were getting close to finding the tellitubies. Although they knew that too. They had to act fast and draw attention away from them so they went to Iraq and threatened Suddam Hussein. No one knows what they said but a few weeks later, the Americans found him hiding in a ditch. The attention once again was diverted from the Tellitubies. In the time they now had, they started rallying children and Bunnies to help aid them. They introduced more toys and hoped the children pay money to them for support for the battle the Tellitubies were to have. Alas, the Tellituby craze was laging support like how Pokemon did. They decided on a new plan to stall for time. They ran Colin Powel out of office and had Condelisa Rice go in his place. She was working with the foul creatures. Once Powell stepped down I knew I was on my own. I was watching another one of their episodes when someone spilled the tubby custard, as they called the gelatinous pink goo. It came to me then. What is Rice and custard go together to make? Yes, tapioca pudding. Without the rice the pudding would be nothing. This was equivalent to without Condelisa, the Tellitubies would be found. I knew that Colin Powell was on the right track to I started what he could not finish. In a few weeks, I found the facility in an open valley, camouflaged with the surrounding. I infiltrated the base while they were sleeping. I put an extra bouncy material on Lala's ball to make it bounce uncontrollably and then explode.
The next day I sat down to watch the final episode of the Tellitubies. It all went according to plan. The ball bounced uncontrollably around. Lala and Poe tried to chase after it but they were too late. The ball exploded and it destroyed them and the facility and all that was left was rubble in the dust. I finally thought it was over. However that wasn't the case.
A few weeks later, my cousin Joey showed me a horrifying clip with footage I thought should never reach mankind. He told me he accidentally taped the wrong show and on his tape was creatures called Booba's. They were like the descendants of the Tellitubies, but worse. Even the name brought chills to me. Boobas It then came to me. The Baby Sun must not have been destroyed in the explosion. He wasn't in the facility when the explosion happened. Now, the Boobas would have only one objective. To take over the world!
