Gold Pince Nez

Sung to the tune of "Goldfinger"

Gold Pince Nez!

She's the girl, the girl with the squinty eyes.

She's quite a prize.

Such an old pince nez

with its cord of ribbon as black as sin,

she did him in!

Golden glasses that sat on her nose

show she must have worn ladylike clothes

But this golden girl must have been flustered

gave the kiss of death and lost her

gold pince nez.

Willoughby, his hand 'round this frame of gold

his hand is cold!

Golden glasses that puckered her brow

go to show that she can't see much now!

When this golden girl flailed all about her

Gave the kiss of death without her

Gold pince nez.

Willoughby, the lad with a heart of gold –

His heart is cold!

The pince nez is gold

in his hold

but he's cold.

The pince nez is gold

in his hold

but he's cold!