A/N: Okay, for those who follow my story Pandora's Will, I will indeed continue it. I've just been under too much pressure lately to write something with chapters. I've been looking for a job, trying to support my best friend's family, while trying not to worry my boyfriend and I reached my limit and got into a writer's block, but Akemi helped me out of it by helping me write these one shots. Next weekend, Chapter 5 of Pandora's Will, will be up, so don't fret! And enjoy!


When You Can't Breath
By Ashrel Fury

"You know I love you right?"

Soft blue eyes turned away from the passing scenery to look up into violet gems. A smile playing on thin lips despite the slight annoyance in his tone when he spoke.

"I thought we didn't need to speak such words aloud." It wasn't arrogant, but it was close Kaito registered. He grinned himself before he let his face turn serious. This was important after all. For both of them.

"We don't. But I wanted to make sure you knew, really knew. Even if its like this, that I love you."

As touched as he was by the words, Shinichi felt uncomfortable listening to them. With these ears, with this body, it didn't feel right. Why couldn't he be himself when he finally heard Kaito say this, why did he have to be Conan, eight years old and unable to do anything about the mutual feelings he and the taller teen shared.

That's right...he had to hear it as Conan because Conan was all he had for now.

Strong, warm arms drew Shinichi from his seat, pulling him against the hard plains of Kaito's chest that were covered by the dark blue dress shirt he wore, before setting him on the part-time thief's lap.

"Shin-chan, no matter what, this can't change. How long have I known you as Conan before figuring out you were Shinichi?" The Phantom Thief asking, probing him in the ribs slightly to signify the need for an answer.

"A year." Conan answered automatically, blushing faintly.

"And when did I fall in love with you?"

Another blush, this time brighter. "Eight months after meeting me." He'd heard this before, which may be why Kaito was having him say it instead of saying it himself this time. Maybe he thought it'd sink in if the detective said the words himself. Shinichi didn't know if it was, but the uncomfortable feeling he'd been having near the person he loved wasn't there anymore.

"That's right." Kaito lowered his head, sinking his face into the junction of Shinchi's neck and shoulder. "I loved you even before I knew you were actually my age. And as weird as I felt about it, as hard as I denied it, when I figured out you were Shinichi I was beyond relieved. Not only were you not a child, but I figured out that it was your mind, your personality that I loved, not your body. In fact, even when you were chasing after me during every heist, you're body never mattered to me. "

Sweet words. Fitting for a Gentleman Thief. Still they were true, Shinichi could tell as much.

A sly smirk was then pressed to his neck and he fought a smile as he waited for the comment that would surely embarrass him. He'd gotten so used to Kaito's way of lightening the situation that he actually just sat back and enjoyed the warmth in the comments instead of getting embarrassed or irritated like he had when they had first started trying this.

"In fact this small, compact body is really cute! I have no probably keeping you close to my heart."

Shaking his head and battling the blush and smile that wanted to invade his face, Shinichi sighed with emotion. Really, only Kaito...

Sighing and relaxing back into the embrace forced upon his childish body, Shinichi lost himself in the scent of Kaito's skin. Deep, tantalizing chocolate and ash, a weird combination but he'd been around it enough now to find comfort in its strange blend. How long has it been that he'd been like this with Kaito, since he'd been this comfortable with anyone at all really? Two years almost? Surely it was more than that with the level of comfort he got from the thief and the level of familiarity they shared.

"I know you aren't confident in the antidote, Shin-chan, but I am. I believe you will get your body back, I really do. And even if you don't, even if you decide to live on as Conan, I'm never going away. I'm a thief and I have successfully stolen you a long while ago." The teen murmured from his home in the younger boy's neck.

Shinichi smiled faintly, running his hands over Kaito's that were resting on his stomach. "I thought you always returned the things you stole?"

A quiet laugh was his return before a warm tongue licked his neck making him shiver lightly.

"When I find something truly precious, I will never return it. You, my Shin-chan, are more than precious, you are more than irreplaceable; wroth more than all the money in the world. Never will I just give you back! I thought you were smarter than that Tantei-kun."

The smirk against his neck made a true laugh erupt from Shinichi's small chest and a smile bloom on his face. Being called special in such contents, coupled with the Kaitou Kid-tone slipped in at the end made Shinichi happy beyond words. He'd never felt like this really, so unconsciously cared for and supported. If he was honest with himself, he'd admit that he wouldn't usually allow others to take his worries away, mostly because he really didn't think anyone could handle his problems. Kaito though, he knew could handle anything. Kaito was always strong, he always stood behind Shinichi without trying to make him change his mind or his way of doing things. He never held Shinichi back. On top of that, Kaito shared all of his own pain with Shinichi too, and allowed Shinichi to comfort and support him. A mutual understanding that goes beyond 'best friends' really.

"Then you should know something too, Kai." Shinichi laughed pushing at the thief's hands that were still around him. He pushed until the teen got the picture and let go, before he pulled himself up and turned to face the older male. "I love you too." He leaned forward and pecked the thief's lips, stealing the only thing he was comfortable consciously stealing. A kiss.

"You know, even after about a year together, I still can't get used to you initiating the intimate moments." Kaito commented, a mock-thoughtful look on his face when Shinichi pulled back. The detective had the grace to blush before scowling playfully back at the magician.

Using one hand to wack at the back of Kaito's head while the other wrapped around the teen's neck to pull him into a deeper kiss. Using his little size as an advantage, Shinichi stood between Kaito's legs, going onto his tippy-toes to fully wrap both arms around Kaito's neck, drowning his thoughts and worries in the love Kaito held for him with no reservations.

There was only one problem to deal with now. Telling Ran Shinichi has a boyfriend.

!~KAISHIN~!

"Do we have to do this? Can't we just stay at your house until Ai finds an antidote?" Shinichi nervously shuffled from his spot next to Kaito, looking around him anxiously. After getting off the train they'd been on, Kaito had grabbed Shinichi's hand and basically dragged him to the Mouri Detective office where the family lived. He did however take the long way, meaning he was giving Shinichi time to breath and calm himself before he faced his childhood crush and basically crushed her dreams. Shinichi had to restrain himself to not kick Kaito in the shin and take off running.

"Shin-chan, you don't need to do this, you know that. You'll be back when Haibara gets the antidote up and running, don't try and force it now." Kaito whispered to the child beside him, squeezing the hand in his. "You can just introduce me as Shinichi Kudo's friend and tell her 'you' asked me to take Conan for a while. You can even make up some story about how 'you' want to teach Conan how to be a detective or something like that?"

Shinichi shook his head at Kaito, setting his shoulders.

"No. I can't tell her the full truth, but I'm not going to lie anymore than needed. Kaito, you have to go in and tell her I'll be living with you. I won't give you up either, but I also won't lie to such a deep extent." Shinichi breathed. "You're my boyfriend, and its about time Ran knew I had one, don't you think?"

Kaito smiled down at Shinichi, nodding before he knocked on the door, sealing their fate when Ran's figure throw open the door.

"Conan! I didn't think you'd be back this soon, Dr. Agasa said he'd be taking you on a trip, I thought you'd only be back during the weekend..." She had thrown herself at Conan, giving him a hug and talking animatedly. When she finally looked up at the teen beside Conan was when she paused.

Kaito offered a helpless smile and squeezed Shinichi's hand when the child tensed.

"Hello." Ran said, straightening herself with a blush gracing her checks. Kaito smiled back nodding at her in greeting before sticking his hand out for her to shake.

"My name is Kaito Kuroba, you must be Ran Mouri, its a pleasure to meet you milady." He changed his grip on the hand she had given him and swept into a low bow, kissing the back of her hand and producing a yellow rose with a snap of his fingers once he had let go. While this was going on, Kaito never released his hold on Shinichi, and Ran's face turned from scarlet to cherry red. Kaito couldn't help but grin when he caught Shinichi rolling his eyes. His little Tantei-kun was just the cutest thing!

Ran swallowed thickly nodding in the face of the gentleman before her, noticing how he kept his grip on Conan's hand. That's odd, she didn't know this 'Kaito' so how did Conan know him.

Shinichi caught her thought process and prepared himself.

"Ran-neechan! Shinichi-niichan told Kai-chan to bring me back here to tell you something!" He chirped in an annoyingly childish voice, he really should be used to it, but Kaito defiantly wasn't if the tension in his arm was anything to go by.

Ran's eyes went wide as he mentioned Shinichi. Shinichi was sending her a message through this guy named Kaito? When had Shinichi and Kaito met? Was it in one of Shinichi's secret cases? Does Kaito know where Shinichi is? If he does, couldn't he take her to Shinichi?

"Ran-neechan?" Conan's voice drew her from her thoughts and she smiled sheepishly at the boys in front of her.

"I'm sorry, come on in." She backed away and walked through the office door. Kaito let Shinichi walk in first before starting behind the two.

In moments, the three were sitting in Ran's father's office, Kaito and Shinichi across from Ran, nervously sticking close to each other, something Ran noticed wearily, but she was too busy thinking about what message Shinichi might want to send to her.

"So, you know where Shinichi is?" She asked, directing her question to Kaito but looking to Conan ever so often with a confused face. Conan isn't the type to cling to others beside her, so the fact that he was doing so with Kaito, someone she didn't even know, was slightly affecting her. She wasn't sure if she could trust Kaito yet, despite him looking exactly like Shinichi. Maybe he and Kaito were cousins or something.

Kaito looking wearily at Shinichi, the little guy nodded faintly, knowing Ran was watching him closely Kaito sighed and prepared himself for what was to be, a very emotional girl.

"Yeah. Shinichi and I have known each other for about two years when he started as the detective in charge of my father's murder case." They had planed the whole thing out before, on the train they had even gone over the story five times before Shinichi was satisfied that Kaito knew everything by heart. Really, it hadn't taken the magician long to catch onto the lie but still Shinichi was nervous, and he understood that.

Ran's eyes lit up, something Shinichi found unnerving. He was pretty sure he already knew what she was going to ask and in what order, but this needed to be said. Even if Shinichi did return, she needed to know that her Shinichi would never come back. His time as Conan had changed him to much for him to ever be like he was. It wasn't possible to think of Ran as anything but the big sister she's been these past three years.

"So you know where he is? Where he's been all this time? Can you take me to where he is? I'm sure if I ask him it'll be okay, Conan can come along too!" She sounded exited and it was depressing how tightly Shinichi's insides were being squeezed. Kaito gripped his hand and held tight, giving Shinichi some comfort.

"I know where he is, but he's in a bit of trouble. He'd murder me if I took you directly into the problems. The only reason he couldn't come himself was because it'd be too dangerous. In fact, I came here to thank you for taking care of Conan, and to tell you Shinichi will be taking care of him until his aunt is able to get back in Japan." Kaito explained smiling gently.

Confusion colored her face before disbelief and lastly, anger.

"What? Isn't it dangerous? Why would Shinichi take Conan in if it was dangerous but he won't see me?" Ran glared at both the boys before her, suspicion growing.

Kaito sighed again. Here's the lie.

"The danger is the reason we have to take Conan in. Conan is part of Shinichi's family, the people who want Shinichi dead have already figured that out. If he stays here, Shinichi won't be able to keep anyone safe, but if Conan comes with us, we would be able to keep him safe until the suspects have been apprehended."

"I don't understand, why would Shinichi trust you, are you Conan's brother?" Ran's voice was angry and her face hard and set, Kaito and Shinichi could see the gears just turning in her head.

"No. I'm not related to them. Actually, I'm Shinichi's..." He stopped himself, not sure if saying it is a good idea. He glanced at his little companion to see the small face set in determination. When he opened his mouth to continue, it was Shinichi's voice that was heard.

"Kai-chan is Shinichi-niichan's partner." He spoke softly, as if he was sorry but knowing it needed to be said. The childish tone was there, but it was faded slightly in the face of Shinichi's true emotions.

"What do you mean by 'partner', as in partner in the case?" They could see her face filling with hope and realization all at once. Shinichi still remembered when Kaito had first sent him roses and Ran caught on to the fact that little Conan's admirer was a boy. Instead of teaching him the word 'boyfriend', she had called same sex couples 'partners'.

"He means Shinichi and I have been dating for a full year today." Kaito filled in softly as well, eyes not directly looking at Ran. Neither was Shinichi. After a long moment of silence, she responded, the outburst louder than both Kaito and Shinichi had expected.

"But Shinichi isn't gay! Is this a joke? Conan this isn't funny!"

"Its not a joke!" Shinichi yelled, rising to his feet just as Ran had. He noticed that even standing he was greatly disadvantaged. So he climbed with a bit of Kaito's help, on top of the couch, standing there a few feet shorter than the outraged girl.

"Conan, Shinichi isn't gay! And now this guy-" She pointed harshly at Kaito who had put up his mask.

"His name is Kaito!" Shinichi yelled back, a glare of his own directed at Ran. It was a picture to see, Kaito was sure about that. A kid about eight years old standing like an equal to a teenage black-belt and glaring at each other with equal intensity.

"I don't care what his name is, there is no way Shinichi would do that, he's not gay!" Ran was yelling herself now. Kaito wasn't sure when to step in anymore.

"His changed Ran! But you're right he's not gay, he's just in love with Kaito, no other guy or person will do!" Kaito started at that one. Conan looked intense and lost in the fight so what he said had to be true. It warmed Kaito's heart slightly.

"What do you know about love! You're a little boy who gets roses from a secret admirer that won't reveal himself! I don't care about sexuality but to play this joke on Shinichi when he isn't here to defend himself isn't right Conan!"

This was getting out of hand.

Kaito stood, pulling Conan off the couch and into his arms. Ran flinched reacting as if she just noticed he was there, something he wasn't surprised at, he was pretty sure Shinichi forgot him too.

Maybe not. He thought when Shinichi huffed quietly and wrapped arms around Kaito's neck, digging his face into Kaito's shoulder. Kaito knew he was tried to calm himself, but he didn't know if it was to stop from crying, or from yelling out the truth.

Ran finally seemed to be calming down a little too, but the devastation, defiance, and disbelief were still carved into her features that the magician had to clench his jaw tightly not to yell himself. The slight tremble in Shinichi's small shoulders told him that he was trying to hold back tears. No one had the right to make Shinichi cry, not after everything he's been through for these past three years.

"We didn't come here for approval, in fact, Shinichi was sure you wouldn't. But, still. Thank you for taking such good care of Conan, and it was nice to meet you." And with that and a snap of his fingers, all of Conan's clothes and books were in a suitcase beside the door.

"Ran-chan, I know for a fact that Shinichi cares about you, I also know you were his first crush and childhood friend. So believe me when I say that it wasn't easy for him to realize it on his own, but the love he has for you, is the love of a family member. I didn't mean to steal anything away from the two of you, so I hope I didn't ruin a friendship, but please believe that this, it wasn't planed. Him and I meeting, having feeling for each other, even our involvement with the danger that plagues us, none of it was by choice, but I won't change a thing, and I know he wouldn't either. I hope you won't hold the fact that he fell in love against him. If you want to talk to him, call this number." He handed a piece of paper to Ran, and she numbly took it.

With a smile, he tightened his arms around Shinichi's body, noticing that while the trembling had stopped, his face was still buried in Kaito's shoulder, drifting minutely to his neck. He was pretty sure his Tantei-kun was blushing.

Ran spotted the caring smile and swallowed, not speaking, not moving, and not thinking. Everything had no feeling. But that was better, right?

When he got his mind back, Kaito nodded at the still Ran and walked to the door, slipping out of it with the suitcase in his unoccupied hand. "Goodbye Ran-chan." He said for both himself and Shinichi as he left.

Not even a block down the road, Kaito's cell phone rang. Shinichi had been set on the ground by then, and they looked at each other before Shinichi reached into Kaito's pocket, and his voice-changing bow-tie.

"Hello Ran. Kaito said he'd given you this number." Conan answered, using his older voice. "I'm guessing you heard."

Her voice didn't come for a long moment, and the silence seemed to weigh by the minute. Then, she finally asked the question Shinichi had been waiting to answer.

"Its not true is it Shinichi? You aren't dating someone else are you? You aren't dating a guy are you?"

A sigh heaved itself from his chest and he felt Kaito crouch down by his side, there if needed but not directly touching Shinichi in any way. Really, the thief knew him way too well.

"Yeah Ran..." He spoke, helplessly. His voice was small and he felt it for the millionth time these past three years, he felt so small and lost. "I knew him for two full years and it took me only one of those to admit to myself that I loved him. After all...if you eliminate the improbable, whatever is left, no matter how impossible, is the truth. And the truth is that I love him Ran. He makes me feel safe, strong, he gives me care and love in return for just a smile. Ran he's...he's Kaito."

He had expected to have to defend his feelings and his relationship with Kaito, but even prepared, he still wasn't ready. And he definitely hadn't predicted what had come next.

"I..I understand." A sob, a heart wrenching sound that settled in the pit of his stomach. "You...y-you talk about him l-like he...l-like you lo-love him. I...I understand just...can you give me some time? I-I don't think I'll g-get over this s-soon."

Now he remembered why he was friends with Ran for so long. She was a hard ass karate black-belt, she got annoyed with him easily, she even worried about him, but she always, always stood behind him in all his decisions.

He felt the tears before they fell, and he didn't stop them.

"Th-thank you." He breathed into the phone, trying to keep his cool. He could sense Kaito's worried eyes on him even as he struggled to calm himself. He reached for Kaito's hand, intertwining their fingers together, even if it was hard since his hands were so much smaller than Kaito's. "Take your time just...don't resent me." he was begging, he was sure of it, but that was okay too. The only ones hearing were Kaito and Ran, and they'd seen him at his weakest more times than they could count.

"I couldn't never resent you for falling in love!" She sounded offended but sad. It made Shinichi smile, lessening the worry on Kaito's face. "Just because its not with me, doesn't mean it doesn't make me happy to see you happy."

"Thank you."

The empty tone let Shinichi know that Ran had hung up the phone, and slowly, he did so too, handing it to Kaito without looking him in the eye.

"Shin-chan," Kaito soothed, finally drawing his arms completely around Shinichi's body. The child fell into his hold with no thought to where they were, all he knew was the stunning relief in his small body seemed to numb his limbs. He barely felt it when Kaito had picked him up, cradling the child in his hold as he walked, letting Shinichi cry out the over baring emotions. Really, this wasn't usual for the little detective, but Kaito felt that Shinichi had cause to cry.

The child hadn't cried when he was turned into a child, he hadn't cried when his life was torn from him with no sure way back, he hadn't cried during the many deaths he'd face some of people he knew and most of those he didn't. So now, faced with his deepest wound, Kaito could not blame the teen-turned-child for crying.

He decided to take him to somewhere he knew he belonged. The Kudo family library.

!~KaiShin~!

When Shinichi came back from his dreams of flying on white wings with his Phantom, he knew instantly where he was. The only place he'd felt truly at peace, the only place he still felt he truly belonged. Had Kaito taken him here after lending him his shoulder? Probably, the thief knew so much about the teen-turned-child already, that Shinichi didn't even attempt to be surprised anymore. Just grateful.

"Kai?" He called out in a whisper, throat horse from crying. "Kai?" He tried again, getting his voice to project a little more.

"Kitchen Shin-chan!" Kaito's voice called back from the open door of the Kudo mansion's main room. The kitchen was down stairs? How did Kaito hear him calling when his voice had definitely been too weak to reach the lower levels of the house.

With slow, gentle moves, Shinichi pushed himself up and off the soft love seat he'd been sleeping on. He took a moment to look around and breath deep the scent of old pages and coffee. He then made his way to the open door and down the stairs into the kitchen, not needing keen eye-sight to spot Kaito.

The thief was sitting on the kitchen's island, sipping what Shinichi was sure was Hot Chocolate and reading what Shinichi was sure was Arsene Lupen. Across from the thief was a high chair already pulled out and waiting as well as a mug of what could only be black coffee. Shinichi could have kissed Kaito at the plain show of how caring and considerate he was.

With a soft smile, he climbed up the high chair, not stopping when he was seated. Instead he rose to stand on the seat, then climbed into the island. He could feel that he had Kaito's attention now. Once he was on the island, he walked calmly across it, socked feet sliding slightly on the marble of the table. Once he was directly in from of the thief, he leaned forward and captured those smirking lips. Kaito had probably known what he was going to do since he stood on the high chair to reach the island.

However small his body, that didn't stop Shinichi from taking all he can get out of Kaito, coaxing the other's slimy but strong tongue into his mouth was easy, dancing with it, even easier, but was trying to breath that Shinichi failed at. When they kissed like this, deep and passionate, Shinichi would simply forget the fact that he needed air to live. Instead he tied to see if he could momentarily survive on nothing but Kaito. Reality though, was a bitch.

The pulled back panting, each looking at the other's face with a fond smile and frantic heart. Leaning in again, Shinichi placed several small kissing along Kaito's lips, the teen just smiled wider with each kiss, trying to give his own every time Shinichi leaned in, only to be denied when he pulled back.

To be comfortably known and held through your worst moments.

When you can't breath, this was truly the best remedy. This was truly the kiss of life. But it would also someday be the death of him. He just knew it.

The phone rang, pulling both males from their fantasy of each other. Conan hopped down from the island, not bothering to use he chair he had needed to get up there in the first place.

Kaito stared after the small figure, silently wishing he could see the real one some day soon. He had promised himself he'd only take Shinichi all the way when the boy had his own body back, but it was getting harder and harder to resist. The child didn't seem to realize that while the body of Conan didn't get too hot and bothered, Kaito's exploded every encounter.

Kaito was shocked out of his thoughts when a scream had him rushing for the hall where Shinichi stood, phone to his ear and face surprisingly blank.

"Shin-chan?" Kaito called, not exactly sure if he should approach or not, he didn't really know what caused it so he wasn't really sure how to react to it.

At the sound of his name, childlike eyes turned his way, vulnerable, hopeful, watery. Oh shit, she didn't.

By the look on Shinichi's face, Kaito could already guess what the call had been about and he smiled, wide, genuine, rare, it was a smile so pure and happy that Shinichi actually gasped at seeing it placed so fully on the master-of-mask's face.

"So was that her?" He asked, still smiling as he knelt down to come face to face with the still shell shocked boy. A barely registered nod later and he found himself in the phantom's embrace once again.

"She did it. A permanent cure."

And even though Shinichi couldn't exactly breath, he'd never felt more fulfilled. He hugged Kaito back around the neck, keeping himself there as his mind processed everything once again. All he's done to get this far, all he's seen and heard, all he had to let go of, and last of all, all he's gained.

And just the thought...it was a breath of fresh air.

"I told you didn't I? All you had to do was believe in me, even if you didn't believe in anything else!"