James Bond's P.O.V:
Le Chiffre is dead.
Eva is dead.
"M" is dead.
Raoul Silva or Taigo Rodríguez is dead.
They haunt me.
They torment me.
They come to me.
My Ghosts of the Past come to me, when I'm vulnerable.
Le Chiffre comes to me by sitting in the far corner of my sitting room in the armchair by the window and looking at me with the same expression that was part of his face. Eyes looking straight at me.
Silva, whispers in my ear at night, while I lay in bed and look up at his face then places his hands on my hips as he penetrates me. So, that afterwards when he is gone, my heart is left thudding against my ribcage and wetness running down the inside of my thighs. Staining them.
Eva, comes to me when I'm swimming in one of London's Private Pools, looking at me with that same expression she had when I tried to reach for her in the lift and she had held out her hand to me. I had let go of Eva, after everything that transpired next – her necklace, was something though I couldn't get rid of and it was now in small box on top of the fireplace near the gift from "M".
"M" sweet, innocent and a woman, who had cared for me very deeply and the first ever woman to put the chains around me that held me to her. But, she had died that same night that I had stopped Silva then I went back to London. Returning to meet Gareth Mallory – the new "M" – and destroying any connections to Her as the person who had been my Boss. She appears when I go into her old office
What I didn't know, that something was going to happen that would cause me to decide.
Choose between two men.
One who was supposed to Dead and the other who would become something other than my Boss.
Chapter 1
"Sir, would you like anything to drink?"
"Coffee, please."
"Yes, Sir."
London.
I had returned after events of Skyfall, with my body, mind and soul feeling like it been shattered into million pieces by Her death. The fact that I had not been quick, enough to save her from dying and had lost the only person, who to admit I had felt comfortable around when she talked to me.
The night, when she had find me in her house and back from the dead after being shot by Eve Moneypenny, who was one person I was yet to fully understand. She was like no other woman, I had ever met and acted more like she was my sister than a Lover, for me.
I had not laid, touched or kissed a woman ever. So, Silva had been right when I had been tied to the chair in the large Chamber on the Island and his hands had stroked up my thighs, making me tense slightly when he had done it.
"Oh, well, first time for everything, James."
"What makes you think it's my first time."
"Oh, Mr. Bond?! I'm surprised at you."
I had been flirting with the man, when I had said it and he with me. But, with him having the upper hand on me had won the first round of it and remember him, leaning forwards to kiss me, lightly on the lips with his own. They been soft, warm and moist making me stay still as he kissed me then he had pulled back from me, looking at me to see if I had been affected by just that kiss of his.
"Sir? Sir?" I hear a voice, distantly saying making me come out of the memory and turning my head see that the waitress is standing there, looking at me with concern and holding the cup of coffee that I had ordered then places it down in front of me.
She walks back to the kitchen doors, swinging shut behind her and bringing the cup of coffee to my lips see that she had left a small white card underneath it with her phone number and Name – Mia. It sounded cute, the name and slip it into my coat pocket, discretely then finishing off the coffee, get up out the chair to go to the counter to pay.
I reach it, when suddenly the Café door bell above the door rings slightly and for some reason, I turn my face to see who has come in then drop the card, that I'm about to place in the pin-machine. I can't breathe at all, because my throat feels tight and my heart is starting to pound against my ribcage.
It just wasn't possible.
That in front of me, was Raoul Silva or Taigo Rodríguez alive, in the flesh and suddenly he is in front of me, bending down to pick up the card off the floor then comes back up, holding it out to me. My hand shaking with effort, takes it off him and turning back to the pin-machine, place it in then put the code in trying not to think of his burning gaze on me.
After, the transaction has been done and the change from it handed to me, I head to the door then out into the cold air of the busy, city of London. I begin to walk, heading in the direction of home and bring out the packet of cigarettes, pull one out then go to light it, only for his hand to appear with lighter in it.
He clicks it, lighting the cigarette for me and places the golden inlaid lighter with his initials on it, back in his suit pocket. He is wearing white, with a light blue tie and his hair is slicked back that passing everyone, he looks so out of place in this city.
It had stopped raining at some point and stopping at the steps that lead up to London Bridge, look over to abandoned old building, with the front covered by building works – the MI6 original Headquarters – then feel him, beside me. He stops to look as well, smirking lightly at me and makes me want to wipe it off his face with a punch then taking a drag, blow the smoke upwards into the air.
"Does it bring back memories, James?" He asks me, making me turn my face to look at him and regret what I do next – but he deserved it – as he now, holds his nose with hand, blood dripping onto the plain white suit as people, who been passing stop to stare at me with my clenched gloved fist.
I turn around, soon heading up the steps and don't look back at all to see what he is doing. My fist is still clenched tightly and inside, my heart is threatening now to escape from my chest that he had the audacity to say that to me.
"Is…something wrong?"
The young waitress – Mia – who had given me her phone number says to me, while the both of us sit on the sofa in my apartment and places a hand on my thigh, stroking upwards to my belt – which she slowly unbuckles with her hand – then turning my face to one side, to hide the fact that a blush is rising, feel her unbutton the trousers.
Slowly, meticously like she had practised doing it she slides the zip, soon down and moving her hand back up, slides it inside to cup me through the boxers that I wear, making me give a hitched gasp at the touch.
"Haa… wait…. I…." I gasp to stop her, while she slips off the sofa and onto the floor, where soon she gets between my parted legs, placing both hands on my trousers as she slides them down, along with my boxers to expose me.
She bends her head down, between them and suddenly, a breathless gasp escapes me as warm, moist mouth begins to pleasure me intimately then she pulls me off the sofa, onto the floor and over her body.
She keeps on doing it in a certain way that is making me, become flushed with strange heat that floods into my whole system and need something more than just this, so taking hold of her pull her away from groin area then taking hold of her cheek, bend down my head.
I kiss her lightly, testing to see like it was my first kiss that I was ever doing to see how she will react, on the lips and pull back seeing that she is looking at me then she pulls my head back down, kissing me back with gentleness that reminds suddenly of Silva's kiss.
How his lips had felt, against mine when he kissed me that day.
How soft, warm and moist they had been, against mine.
I kiss her more, panting breathlessly and reaching to the table, with my hand take one of the condom packets from the table, only for my hand to be grabbed by my wrist by her. I take my lips off her lips, looking at her in shock – that she was stopping me from getting protection to make sure she didn't get pregnant – and getting up, pull my trousers, back up with my boxers then grab hold of her arm. I haul her up to her feet and drag her to the front door, which suddenly opens as someone comes in…. with a key?!
Silva, in a clean suit – dark blue - looks at me and at her, back to me then steps out the way as I chuck the young woman out onto the landing, followed by her coat, handbag and wallet, while the small piece of card she gave me with her phone number and name, I tear in two in front of her. Chucking the two pieces into her lap, I turn and head back inside hearing her get up, high heels clattering on the stone steps as she runs down them and out of the Apartment building.
I head to into the sitting room, hearing him close the front door behind him and the key turning in the lock – trapping me my own apartment, with a key, he had gotten from somewhere – then his arms suddenly wrap around me, from behind and pull backwards, flush against his chest.
I turn in his grip, surprising him and he soon kisses me on the lips, pushing me backwards until I feel my back bump against the large glass window then pulls away to look at me, seeing how I'm not fighting it at all.
I'm wanting it.
He places a hand on my chest, resting it palm flat on where my heart – is thudding against my ribcage – and slides it upwards to unbutton my collar, while I undo his belt for him then slide downwards, which makes pull me close to his groin area. I pull the trousers, down and see that in the black boxers he wears that already he is aroused then rest the side of my cheek, just against his thigh.
I can't breathe again. My throat feels so tight.
I pull away from him, getting up and heading to the kitchen to go to drink of water. He follows me, with his trousers pulled up and loosely hanging on his hips and getting a glass, rinse it out only to place it down on the counter as my hand like I was not in control of it, slips down to my trousers.
I cup myself, through them and feel him place his body against mine from behind then unbuttoning myself, I pull the zip down with the trembling hand at the fact that was going to allow him to do what he wanted to do with me. I move the hand away, soon placing both hands on my hips and slide my trousers down, along with my boxers to hung around my ankles then bending myself over, the counter near the sink, look over my shoulder at him.
He doesn't say anything to me, just pulls his trousers down with his boxers and soon, takes hold of my ass-cheeks, spreading them lewdly apart that my whole-body quivers at the feel of it then he slips between them – his cock.
He slides it up and down, moving it in a way that makes my mouth open in a breathless gasp, face becoming reddened and between my own thighs can feel that he is making me wet, hard and aching as pre-cum that had beaded at the top of it, dribbles down it onto the floor with small drops.
"Haa…. Does it feel good, James?" He asks me, pressing himself more into me that a moan escapes from me, because the wetness – his pre-cum – is running down into there, coating it so much that I need him, inside me now.
Right now, entering it into my body and filling me with the strange heat that I felt a taste of when he had kissed me.
"Silva…...haa…. please, take…...me." I gasp out, the confession sounding loud to my ears and in the kitchen area then he pulls away from me, making go to stand up, straight when suddenly my hips are harshly pulled back as he slams into me, with just a single thrust.
My back arches at this impact, making a cry come from me and hands scrabble on the marble counter-top then he gives a satisfied grunt as he fully becomes fully sheathed inside me. My body, is completely visibly trembling at the fact that right here in my own apartment, he is here with me.
He is here in flesh and blood that is pumping through his veins.
He is here with me.
This is not a Ghost of him, visiting me.
"James, sweet James. Your finally, after all this time, Mine." He whispers in my ear, starting to undulate his hips back and forth into mine at a certain pace that everything soon begins to dissolve into haze of something that I cannot yet describe or explain to myself as I succumb to what he is doing to me.
Q, is busy on his laptop, when I step out the lift and start to walk, limping slightly because of what had transpired last night with me and Silva then reach the desk, turning around to face the lift to lean against it for support. My whole lower half, still throbbed with pain of being taken by him over the kitchen counter, followed by up against the wall and on the bed, where the over-stimulation of it had made me grip him to me, dragging my nails down his back as it went through me.
Then come out of the memory, as my forehead starts to throb with pain of remembering it.
"Q, do you have any headache tablets?" I ask, turning my face to look at him and he reaches with one hand to open the desk drawer, while I peek over to see a photo of him smiling – which was rare – with someone's arm around in another country somewhere, laying among the stuff in it then go back to looking at the lift, while he hands me the packet.
"Rough night, 007." He asks me, which makes wonder how should I answer him.
He always reported everything I said, back to "M" and would always have to go up to the office to then give a full explanation of my actions. Un-leaning from the desk, I go to move when pain shoots right through my lower half making me give slight cry and hear him scrambling out his chair to come around it to look at me as I curse Silva, in my head for what had transpired between us last night.
Managing to stand up, straight, I loosen my tie on my collar, feeling the headache still as he holds out a glass of water for me, so lean back against the desk for support. Placing the glass down on the desk, I pop one of the headaches tablets in my mouth and picking it back up then drink it to wash the tablet down, feeling it help get rid of the headache.
The lift door's slide open, again as the rest of the MI6 people come in and trickle off to go to their allocated slots in the new MI6 Headquarters then they slide shut again with soft ting noise. Silence descends back on the small area that Q, worked in and wonder what would his predecessor think about this new place.
Probably being turning in his grave at what a mess that I had become.
Finishing off the glass of water, I head back into the kitchen area and rinse it out to place on the drainage rack then place a hand on my shoulder, wincing slightly. I place the glass in the drainage rack, heading to the Toilets – which is empty of anyone – and going to the end sink, after slipping my coat off, take my tie off then unbutton the t-shirt to expose my shoulder seeing that Silva had bitten me at some point last night.
I stroke it, lightly with fingers feeling myself quiver when I do it and moving my hand to the tissues dispenser, wet them with cold water then place them over the bite, feeling it soothe the pain that had formed from me just moving my hand to place a glass back in the drainage racks in the kitchen area.
"Bullet wound, still twinging, Bond." A voice, says making me turn to see that "M" or Gareth Mallory as he was called, making me turn my head to look at him and he comes up to me then stands there, in his blue shirt and with his shoulder holster on as he leans against the sink, next to the one I'm at.
"Sort off. I've still got to get it check out by a Doctor. Even though it was a long time ago, when I was sh…M, what are you doing?!" I begin to say, only to ask him what is he doing and feel him move my hand out the way, taking wet mush of tissues of the bite that makes his eyes flick to mine.
He fully turns me, so that I face him and see that his eyes have gone stormy with anger that someone had marked me this way then suddenly hear female voices, making him grab hold of me before I can protest shoving me into the far cubicle of one of the toilet's, shutting the door behind him with his foot and locking it.
He pins me onto the toilet seat and in way that I must place my legs around his waist for support as he squashes himself right up against me in such a comprising position that I try not to think of his groin against mine, while his face is so close to mine that any closer to me. That as I think about, wishing I wasn't – I could kiss those gentle, soft looking lips of his – and turn my face to one side to resist the temptation of it.
Footsteps come to the cubicle, were trapped in and can feel my heart starting to thud against my ribcage as the person, tries the handle to check it then moves away, only to come back as M, presses himself closer into me that it a pained groan escapes from me, before I can stop myself.
"Is someone in the there. Are you, alright?"
The female voice asks, making me flick my eyes to Mallory who bangs the side of the cubicle, with his fist so hard, that it makes the person give "Okay, I'll leave you alone. Sorry…. for bothering you." They soon run out of the Ladies' Room and he lowers it back down then suddenly, before the both of us can do anything the door is kicked open so hard by a high heel.
"BOSS!? BOND?! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN THE LADIES' ROOM?" Eve Moneypenny, shouts at the both of us, with embarrassed blush rising on her cheeks at the sight of me and our Boss, stuck in Ladies' cubicle in comprising position and can feel my own face, flushing so bright red in embarrassment that it spreads right down to my neck.
"Uhhh…. Moneypenny, this isn't what you think? I made a mistake with…Please don't tell anyone else." I say, which makes her place a hand on her chin and tap her foot on the polished floor as she thinks about it then suddenly whips out her phone, making an un-manly scream come from the me of her name as she takes a picture with the phone's camera.
"MONEYPENNY?!"
I have never felt so humiliated in my life, leaning now against Q's desk and trying not to pay attention to all the giggles and whispers coming from "Moneypenny's Girls" as they were called as they have look at the picture she took of me and Mallory, in the cubicle in the comprising position.
"I could delete it permanently if you want, Bond." Q, says making me turn his face to look at him and see that he is not joking at all then shrug my shoulders at him, because I wasn't really bothered how he did it.
Just has long as he got rid of it and hear him cracking his hands then tapping away on the keyboard of his laptop. I turn my gaze back to the group, when suddenly the whole area is doused in pitch blackness and hear screaming come from whole of the girls as Q, with the glow of his laptop sits there like a freaking spectre – wearing glasses, that reflect it – as I hear someone shouting his full name that it surprises me.
"ALEX JOHANNA QAURTERMAINN?! PUT THOSE BLOODY LIGHTS BACK ON, NOW?!"
The lights, flicker back on to reveal that it had been Mallory, had been the one who shouted and with his arms crossed over his chest as he glares at the young man then looks at the group of the shaking woman, one of them holding the phone close to their chest. He uncrosses his arms and goes over to them, taking it off the one who holds it then comes over to Q, plugging it into the laptop with a USB cable.
"Delete the image, permanently. And, if you do that again, I will destroy your laptop, permanently." He says, making the young man nod his head and with trembling hands begins to do what he was told to do by him then Mallory, turning around walks back to his office.
I look at Q, seeing that he is busy doing his job and un-leaning from the desk then head to Mallory's office, going up the iron stairs. Remembering another time, a different scenario when She had been alive and sitting behind that simple plain desk, after I had the Physiological Test – to see how fit I was to go on the mission that had happened – then lied to me about my results.
The China Bulldog – which was rested now on the fireplace in my Apartment – used to be on the desk, while I had asked "Why do you keep that bloody thing?" and she replied to me. "You gave it to me Bond, for Christmas. I'm not getting rid of it, because I like it."
Coming to the glass door, I push it open and step inside, which makes him lift his head from the notes he is sorting through it then go to lean against the drinks bureau, placing my hands on it as the door shuts, quietly with soft click.
"What do you want, Bond?" He asks me, not even looking up from the notes and pursing my lips slightly, wonder should I tease him or answer straight.
"Do you have to be so hard on him?" I ask, making his hand hover inches from the pen that he is about to pick up to correct a mistake and flicks his eyes to me, with a look that indicates I might have struck a nerve.
"Do you always tease people? Or, allow them to fuck you, like they did." He asks, followed by that sentence, making me tense slightly at the words, gripping the wood for support of the drinks bureau to resist going up to him, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt to silence him with…...a kiss.
"What…makes you think that was being fucked by someone? I could just have been… kissing someone and that's what happened between us." I answer him, making place the sheet of paper down and pushing the seat back, gets out of it then comes around the desk.
He comes up to me, looking me straight into my eyes with his and suddenly his hand grabs hold of my shoulder that has the bite, pressing his fingers into it so hard that sends pain shooting through the whole nerve endings in my arm that I grit my teeth to silence the cry that wants to escape at the pain of it then find myself, collapsing onto my knees on the floor.
I shakily, bring my other hand up to try and pry his hand up, only to place it flat on the polished floor to stabilise myself as he increases pressing down on the bite – plus the bullet wound – then let's go of it, soon grabbing hold of both my cheeks as he sees that it is affecting me. He tilts my face up, making me weakly look at him and try to keep my eyes open, yet it felt like weights had been placed on them soon slipping closed as blackness sweeps in, covering my vision.
The rim of a glass, being placed against my lips makes me move my face away and weakly, flutter my eyes open to see a blurry vision of Mallory, bent down in front of me then he places the glass of water, to one side as he strokes a strand of loose hair from my forehead. He tucks it behind my ear, gently and brings the glass of water back up to my lips, placing it against my lips then I begin to drink it, slowly.
Some of it, trickles out though and runs down the side of my lips that he lowers the glass to get out a handkerchief. Bringing it up to wipe, the side of my lip and stops, seeing that I'm looking at him in some way then lowers it, placing it down near the glass of water.
His other comes up, going around to take hold of the back of my head and entangles with my blond hair that had gotten slightly longer when I had returned from "Skyfall" then he leans forwards, uncertain at how I will react, placing his lips attentively against mine in a gentle kiss that makes me tense slightly as I'm reminded suddenly of Silva's kiss.
Though, Mallory's lips are soft, warm and moist against mine. There different from Silva's and just allow him to gently, kiss me then pulls back from me, leaving me with an aftertaste of something – that tastes like peppermint toothpaste – to look at me.
A faint flush is on my cheeks, lips trembling slightly and I, move myself closer to him then bend my head downwards to his groin area. He is watching me, slowly unbuckle his belt and unbutton his trousers then pulling the zip down, I tremble softly and leaning down place my lips against the cloth covered bulge, causing him to suddenly wrench my head backwards by my hair then hauls me to my feet.
"Get out. I SAID GET OUT." He says, only to shout the words at me, when I go to step towards him and say something to him then lowering my hand, head to the glass door that opens as Tanner comes in then brush past the man, noticing the folders in his hand.
He deosn't say anything to me, just allows me to pass and soon I'm walking back down the iron steps as I feel my chest ache so painfully that when I get around the corner of the corridor, I have to grip my shirt as my heart starts to pound against my ribcage.
What did it mean?
Why does it hurt?
The expression he gave.
Did he want me to stay?
