Edward and Bella had never met. They were like two hummingbirds that had also never met and never were meant to. Edward looked at her from across the room. Yup, just like a creepy psycho would. But thanks to his ridiculously good looks, it looked as if he wanted to rape her. Gratefully, Bella turned around and he was able to further inspect the person he hoped he would never get to meet.

It was all rather weird. Green eyes inspected the girl thoughtfully, almost as if she were an experiment. He inspected her face like a scientist would inspect an interesting specimen, the most bizarre finding of the century.

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center, her hair was the color of bark. Tree bark, pine bark, maple bark; actually, let's just leave it with bark. And her skin, oh her skin was so pale, like milk, it looked yellowish. The blush her face wore was so red it looked as if her cheeks were going to bleed out any moment. And no, she was not typically pretty; in fact, I wouldn't even call her pretty. She had a very interesting face. One that was hard to not look at.

Edward shook his head, and realized that it was getting comfortable. Staring at her face for so long. He wondered if the people who knew her were distracted by her odd face. He also wondered if she was prettier once she opened her mouth to speak.

In that miserable moment, she realized he was looking at her. Now, there was no escape. She'd probably thought he was enthralled with her incredibly weird looking face. He supposed someone must find her attractive, but to him, she was just an odd oval shaped head with bark-like hair and brown lame eyes.

She came closer, in reality, she was already like a foot away from him and now he was screwed. He made small talk; he had wanted it to be so small she'd only get the chance to laugh and he'd run like the wind. If wind was actually capable to run, of course. Why did people say that? Because of their lost hats, scarves and other small personal items? Like dogs?

She laughed at him saying hello to her. What was wrong with her? Was she not used to conversing with people? Thankfully, her laugh was not infectious, she had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up that awful breakfast its owner gave him instead of just giving him dog food. And God save us, her vocabulary was as bad as ,like, whatever! Unfortunately for him, she grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

He found himself enthralled with her boring words and whiny attitude. Her words were full of hate towards his town and its weather. He wanted to get away from such pessimism, but at the same time, wanted to know more about her complaints. Almost as if he were the manager of a store and needed to know what he could fix for her. He shuddered and smiled, a weird combination. Mixed signals, he thought.

And so their weirdly odd passive-aggressive, freakily controlling relationship came to be. Then, she met Alice.

And things got even weirder.