Damon was sitting in the parlor in his longtime home, his feet crossed at the ankles and laying on the top of the small table in front of the large leather sofa that he was currently residing upon. A nearly full glass of bourbon was clutched tightly in his hands, even though he has poured it with every intention of drinking it, he had not even pressed the edge of the clear crystal to his lips. The mahogany colored liquid was just sitting there untouched which was not a normal occurrence for the vampire; normally he would have gulped it down as if he were a mortal man dying of thirst after being lost in a dry desert for days on end, but this was different.
His clear blue hues were staring out unseeingly at the fireplace before him, thoughts elsewhere than they probably should have been. He should have been wondering where his dearest brother and his lover were because were they not supposed to be spending days and nights on end with one another's company and doting on each other lovingly? And yet, they had been nowhere to be seen for that entire day that he had been patiently waiting for them as a surprise seeing as he had not been back to Mystic Falls in many months. No, his thoughts were wandering towards little Caroline Forbes, the girl he had done so much wrong to since his initial return to his dreary and unimaginative home town. He found himself regretting everything that he had ever done to her. Ever done to hurt her physically, mentally and emotionally. He could not figure out why he was feeling this way nowbut he was and it was difficult to shake his thoughts from the young blonde vampire, she was stuck in his mind like gum to the bottom of a park bench and he could not quite figure out why that was.
His regrets were beginning to consume him as flashes became apparent in his mind at everything he had said or done to her. Calling her shallow, stupid, worthless; he had even tried to kill her on multiple occasions, tried to kill her father as well. He was horrid to the poor girl and he knew that better than anyone, he had been the one to cause that damage after all. It was all his fault, all of her pain and even her death and resurrection, everything was his fault. If he had not given her his blood she would have died anyway but the fact that he did made her what she was today. Forever seventeen, forever outliving those she loves, everyone around her. He had his fair share of loss and now he was the cause for someone else's pain and he regretted it so much, way more than he figured that he should. It had never eaten him alive as it was beginning to do now, still, he did not know the reason, he just felt it slam upon him like a ton of bricks.
"I am so sorry, Caroline." he said to himself, his icy gaze filling with un-shed tears as he started to feel the weight of his words and of his actions. He was drowning in his regret and he could not break free, break to the surface and the ability to breath. But he deserved it and he knew that it was true, it must be, for he had begun to believe it himself.
