Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto Masashi Kishimoto did

sorry for any misspelled words I'm not the best speller in the world


Chapter 1 - How It Started

It started when I was five; the depression, the hopelessness, and the voice I now knew was the Kyuubi. The villagers had always looked at me with hate in there eyes even beat me, but I took it all not knowing why they all hated me so. My five year old mind figured that maybe I had deserved it in some way or maybe it was to get back at the parents that I had never known. All the bad feelings came the night that man had chased me into an ally way and cornered me at a dead end. I can still feel his hands all over my small body.

It was late and raining but I was still out walking around. Where most kids were at home tucked lovingly into there beds I didn't want to have to go to my lonely apartment were there were no blankets or food for me to fill my empty stomach with. I was taken out of my thoughts by the sound of some guy telling me how much of a monster I am and how he should just kill me. They all say that but they never do; only beat me till I'm close to death. I continued walking. Apparently the man didn't appreciate me ignoring him cause he threw the bottle he was holding at me and started to run after me. Being the five year old I was I ran hoping to get away from him. My stubby legs kept tripping me but I quickly got back up and ran even faster. I was close to my apartment and decided to take a shot cut through the ally way hopping to loose the obviously drunk man. While I was looking back to see if I had indeed lost the man I ran into something hard and found that there was a wall. My only means of escape was gone. The man had not fallen for my trick and had been right on my trail scowling the whole time, but seeing how I was now trapped brought an evil smirk to his lips. He quickly advanced on me - hitting me, and tearing my clothes – and when he touched my skin something in him change and he became rougher. I didn't know what was happening at the time only that it had hurt – feeling like he had split me in half and tore my insides to pieces. He didn't stop for a very long time and I found myself thinking for the first time how much I wished that darkness that always overcame me at times like this would come and keep me forever. To never wake up or have to go through all this pain would be so nice. Dieing I think its called... ya... thats what the old man called it, when you never wake up. I wanna die.

Waking up in that same ally way cold, naked, and with a sense of self hate so strong all I could see was red was when I remembered the thing I had wanted most last night. I still wanted it. Running home as quick as my numb little legs would let me I kicked my door in and grabbed the kuni that someone had thrown through my window. It was beautiful – the glossy black of the metal, the edges that promises to be sharp, the scratches to prove it was well used – when I gently ran my finger over the blade I felt a stinging pain and looked to see blood coming out of a cut on my finger. It was mesmerizing the way it was that dark red and how the sun hits it. I wanted to see more of it. The voice I had heard earlier was telling me to stop but I didn't want to listen I just continued to move the kuni closer to an area were I knew it would bleed more.

When the kuni was placed above my wrist and I was getting ready to bring it down for the cut when suddenly my body just stopped working. That voice that I had heard before was louder now. I had been ready for the stinging pain and the sweet promise of relief death would bring me but the voice refused to let me have it.

'You can't die kit. If you die then I die and thats not what I want to do. Unlike you I cherish my life. Lets make a deal; you figure out how to free me from this god forsaken prison and I'll let you end your life.' It sounded as if the voice was growling like an animal and it scared me, but the deal was to much to pass up. The only thing is though that I didn't need the deal to kill myself just the kuni that is still in my hand suspended above my arm. With a sigh sounding in my head the kuni was stabbed into my arm and all I could feel was the pain from the cut but also the pleasure from the numbness that was overtaking me. 'You poor boy suffering so much for your father foolish mistake. When you awaken I will tell you all you need to know.' When I wake up? No I don't want to wake up. I couldn't argue with the voice anymore it seemed to have disappeared or was that me...