A/N: Hey, guys. I know. Whoa. Is this thing even still breathing? Yes, it is. It was just... in a coma. For about a year. And now it's got a new personality. To explain, briefly, I've decided that I might possibly still like this story. So I want to try to rewrite it. It might not work. Also, any and all newly rehabilitated chapters will come, but very slowly. Like any great adventure, it deserves a second performance (Too much? I'll try not to do a lot of 'that's what she said...' jokes. Try being the important word).
Anyways. So here is the first BRAND NEW CHAPTER THAT STILL LOOKS A LOT LIKE THE OLD ONE for your entertainment. Enjoy. If any of my reviewers are there left to enjoy.
I disclaim. The title and excerpt is from Pressure by The Company of Thieves. We're gonna do things right this time.
I try hard to answer all the questions that you've posed
Tell me now how should I care, I feel so alone and so unloved?
And the pressure is rising, I mean it, it's binding
I've been compromisng for you.
The pressure is rising, I mean it, it's binding
I've been compromising for you.
As the inmates of Arkham slept, one man sat upon his dingy bed, staring into the darkness. His sing-song voice echoed off of the empty walls as he twisted a rhyme. He reveled in the loneliness.
"Jack and Jill lived over in Gotham, she liked to gamble a lot."
He paused, licking his contorted lips.
"Jill lost loot... they scared her beauty... and I came right in behind her."
A small whimper of a laugh escaped his wide lips, growing until it was an insane yapping, resembling that of a hyaena. As if he had told the world's funniest joke. As if this little part of his life was hilarious. Because it was. Because his whole life... was a joke. And if he didn't laugh at it, who would?
He stood up as his laughter subsided into a soft chuckling, still belying the madness it once was. Cocking his head at the door, he walked closer to it. There was a shadow lying just beyond its bars. He was a few feet away from it when the soft voice came.
"Did you love her?"
The man examined the steel door, as he would a person. "That doesn't par-ticularly matter, does it?"
"So you did."
"Jack did."
"Where is she now?"
"Hopefully dead."
"Do you mean that?"
"Can I help you with something?" the man asked, growing a bit impatient.
"No." answered the voice, airily.
The man lifted his brows above his dark eyes. "You sound like a girl. What's a sweet thing like you doing in big, bad Ark-ham?"
"Just visiting." the voice said, after taking a moment to consider the question.
"Anyone I know?"
"I wouldn't think so. It was the mob, wasn't it?" the voice asked, apparently tired of answering his questions.
As the man stepped closer to try and peer through the bars of the door, he answered. "She liked to tangle with the wrong people."
"Do you put yourself under that category?"
"Predominately put there by society." The man huffed after several failed attempts at seeing more of the hallway. "Why don't you come out where I can see your pretty face?" He smiled, scars stretching.
"Some other time."
"Oh, ho ho. So you're planning on repeating this outing?" said the man as he leaned against the side of the door, tapping it with his knuckle. "One might think you were after something."
"I just wanted to see with my own eyes, Jack." The voice sounded confounded with her own behavior.
"That's, uh, not- my name."
There was the briefest of pauses. "Is it a bad name? Does it bring back too many memories?" she asked, curiously.
He was quiet. There was no movement on either side of the door as the silence shifted through the night. After a good minute, the man asked a question.
"If you know what to call me, what do I call you?"
It was the voice's turn to fall into a contemplative silence. Finally, she said "Alice."
"Well, then, Alice. What did you come to see?"
"You."
"Ooo, I'm flattered."
"I wouldn't exactly take that as a compliment. It's less like an admiring fan, and more like a kid at the zoo come to see the tiger."
The man began to laugh at that, bending slightly at the waist. "The bunny's got claws!" The man jammed his grinning face against the bars of the door, his black eyes glinting in the dull light. There was the sound of footfalls retreating to a safe distance. "Careful, though. The tiger's got some, too."
The was a strained silence as the man stared fiercely toward the darkest shadows of the hallway.
"Bunny?" he called, sounding confused. "Where'd ya go? Is it something I said? Is it the name? It's not an insult, or anything, really! It's just seems to fit you, bunny."
Finally, the voice spoke after another quick pause. She asked, slowly, "Do you like it here?"
"Oh, it's lovely. The guards just adore me. They're great guys. I tell them jokes and they show me pictures of their families. I get loads of personal time, too. They're exceptionally good about leaving a guy time to sit and think, you know? I've gone days without seeing another person. I mean, it's really a neat place. And it even came furnished!" His voice bounced around him as the man waved toward the cold cell. Turning back to the newcomer, he licked his lips reflectively. "Why so curious, bunny?"
The voice sighed. "I'm not sure I want to say."
He raised his brows expectantly. "Well?"
"But I was always a bit intrigued with what you did out there."
His lips twitched upward at this. "Really? What was so in-tri-guing?" he asked.
"All of it."
"Well, I'm pleased to know that my audience was well satisfied." Stepping back, he gave the door a large, sweeping bow, his dirty, blond hair flopping in front of his face.
There was a short, soft chuckle from the other side. He decided he liked it. Straightening up, he looked at the door as she spoke. "I've got to go; the next guard switch is in a few minutes. But if I were you, I might expect another midnight visit."
He nodded his head.
"Good bye." she called.
As the muffled footsteps got fainter and fainter, the man stared at the metal door before backing up to sit on his bed. He spread himself out to stare up at the ceiling. A small giggle escaped his wide grin. This was going to be fun.
The night outside carried on into the dawn as the Joker counted the branching cracks in his cell.
A/N: So please review. They make me happy. Also, just wanted to say... I know. While the title makes sense being with the chapter, the actually excerpt... kinda doesn't. But for nostalgia's sake, I'm keeping the titles the same. So sue me.
No, actually, wait, don't.
