Ruth woke up, feeling like she was floating in dreamy happiness. She felt so content that it took a moment for her to open her eyes. When she did, she ended up looking at her large pregnant belly. She smiled. At about eight months gone she hadn't got to the really uncomfortable beached whale stage yet. Rolling over she saw Harry awake, watching her, both love and happiness evident in his gaze. "You need to get up," she said, prodding him with her foot.

"Oh, so that's what I get for signing off early on your maternity leave is it?" he questioned. "A kick and instruction to go out to work." Ruth chuckled.

"Well, you do have a new analyst to train," she said.

"You know, no one wanted that job," Harry said. "Even for only a few months. Apparently the thought was that no one could live up to my inflated expectations. Considering they're replacing my wife." Ruth smiled.

"Temporarily," she said. "I'm not leaving MI5 because I'm becoming a mother."

"I know," he said. They'd already had this argument. Harry didn't mind, as long as she was happy. He leaned across and kissed her softly, before lowering his head and pressing a kiss to her bump. She smiled as he looked at the clock.

"God, I do have to get moving," he agreed. "I'm just going to have a quick shower."

"Mm," she said quietly, eyes flicking closed. She felt sleepy and tired, with no incentive to move. Not even with Harry naked in the shower. She didn't fit in there with him any more anyway.

She was dozing lightly when he came back into the bedroom, enough noise to make her open her eyes as he dressed. She watched in silence as he put on her favourite red tie and then put his jacket on. "I'll see you tonight," he murmured, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "I'll try not to be late."

"Mm, okay," she said.

"Love you."

"Love you too."

He was at the front door when he heard Ruth cry out, muffled, but definitely a cry of pain. He raced up the stairs and crashed into the bedroom. "Ruth! What is it?" She was sat up in bed, her arms clutched around her stomach, face creased in pain. "Right, I'm calling an ambulance," he said without waiting for her to answer his original question. He called one quickly, all the while his eyes on Ruth.

He abandoned his phone and put a hand on her shoulder. "What is it? What hurts?" he asked, much calmer than he felt.

"This doesn't feel right," she said, breathing coming difficulty. "Like a… gut wrenching pain. I don't know." All of a sudden she gasped. "Oh God no!" she cried out.

"What?" he insisted. She pulled back the bed sheets and he saw quite clearly, what. Deep red blood was staining the white sheets, flowing steadily from between Ruth's legs. Harry felt his face go numb with shock. "Oh my God."

"That's not helping," she said, tears in her eyes. "No, no, no, this can't be happening," she said firmly. Harry managed with great difficulty to put his own fears aside for a few moments and looked at her critically. The blood was slowing down, it wasn't leaving her in a gush any longer. She'd gone white, clutching her stomach in desperation and she groaned as another pain went through her.

"The ambulance won't be long," he said, at a loss to find anything else to say.

"Harry…" she looked up, her eyes full of fear. "What if…"

"It's all going to be okay," he said. "I promise, everything will be fine."

"Don't make promises you can't keep," she warned as they heard a siren approaching the house. Harry had nothing to say. All he could do was kiss the top of her head and hold her as they waited for help.


The ambulance journey had been relatively uneventful. It was a short journey to the hospital, and all the paramedics had done was radio ahead to the hospital to get an OB, and stop the bleeding completely. Ruth's face was still pale and she was clutching hold of her bump like a lifeline. Harry could think of absolutely nothing to say, because he was as worried as she. Nothing he thought of either sounded helpful or truthful. All he did was lace his fingers through Ruth's, resting on her stomach as she was wheeled to a hospital bed, ultrasound and doctor already waiting for them. The doctor had a vapid smile on her face which made Harry want to growl at her.

"So, the paramedics told me you were in pain?"

"Yes," Ruth said. "It sort of felt like… my skin was ripping open. It's gone now though. That's good right?"

The doctor smiled but Harry could tell it was a false one. "How much blood did you lose?"

"I don't know, a lot," she said. "Look can you just use the ultrasound and tell me that my baby's okay?" she added with impatience. The doctor nodded, putting some gel on her stomach.

"You might have to prepare yourselves," the doctor said gently, looking between the two of them. "Losing a lot of blood like that isn't normal."

"No, my baby is fine," Ruth said with sheer determination and stubbornness. Harry didn't argue with her, feeling his own heart beating at about triple its normal speed. The doctor nodded and put the wand on her belly, tapping keys on the machine with her free hand. The seconds ticked by into slow minutes with no change in the room. The tense atmosphere was deadening. Harry and Ruth had both been to enough scans to know that they should be hearing a reassuringly quick and regular heartbeat by now. And they weren't. Harry shook his head, trying to deny the truth that was becoming apparent with every passing minute.

The doctor put the wand down with a sigh. "I'm so sorry," she started.

"No," Ruth said firmly.

"Your baby has no heartbeat. I'm so sorry, I'm afraid your baby has died."

Harry felt a wave of devastation slowly crash over him at the same time Ruth kept saying no, over and over again.

"You're wrong," she said simply. "My girl's fine. Of course she's fine."

The doctor moved the screen towards her. "There's no heartbeat. No movement. When was the last time you felt her kick?"

Ruth thought about it for a moment. Not this morning, she realised. Not last night either. Did she kick yesterday? Yes, she suddenly remembered. Ruth had been eating lunch and she'd felt a little kick under her ribs. "Yesterday afternoon," she said simply. "No, this can't be happening," she added. "It just can't."

"Ruth…"

"No Harry, she's wrong!" Ruth refused to accept any other reality. "Tell me she's wrong," she added, asking him. Pleading with him to make everything all right. He couldn't speak, because his throat was choked up with tears he was trying to contain.

"Oh God," was all he could manage in a hoarse voice.

"Oh just get out!" she snapped at everyone in the room, including Harry. "Leave all your negativity outside! We're fine, and just leave us alone!" She curled on her side protectively around her stomach.

The doctor left the room instantly, but Harry hovered. He put a hand on her shoulder but she angrily shrugged him off. "Our daughter is fine," she said firmly. Stubbornly. "She is fine."

"Okay," he said quietly. "I'm going to ask the doctor some questions." Ruth shrugged, staying wrapped protectively around their baby. After a moment more Harry left the room, feeling his world split in two.


I wanted to try something that no one had done before with Harry and Ruth, and see how they'd react. I know it's a very hard topic, so I hope I will give it respect as I go through this fic. Please leave a review if you have a spare minute. Thank you.