The Wedding
It was Hermione's wedding day. She was marrying Ron Weasley. She couldn't be happier. That's what she said every time anyone asked her if she was nervous. No one bothered to mention how happy she was wasn't actually what they were asking. They had all seen and heard the forced joy in her expression and voice. Yet still no one bothered to say anything. They all just thought she was nervous, on edge. After all, Hermione was having more trouble than Harry himself dealing with the emotional wrecks Voldemort had left in people. That's all it was. Of course that's all it was.
"Harry! You need to speak with Hermione," called Ginny. Her expression was a mixture between pity and fury. Harry knew better than to ask why.
"Where is she?" he asked.
"In the common room. Password's… "Well the password is 'Harry Potter.' It was the Fat Lady's own request."
I thought I told McGonagall not to let her do something like that, thought Harry. I want to forget about Voldemort already. It's been six months. Why does everyone have to praise me for breathing?
Having the wedding at Hogwarts had been Harry's own idea. It seemed fitting, as the most important events in Hermione and Ron's lives had occurred there, so why not this one? It was Christmas break anyway, so there were barely any students around. Hermione, Ginny, Luna, and Fleur had turned the Gryffindor common room into their own dressing room, but if it was that important to speak to Hermione, Harry knew he had to see what was happening.
"Harry Potter," he said to the Fat Lady.
"Our savior," the painting responded, a patting an invisible tear in her eye.
"I thought I said none of that," he growled.
"You did. That doesn't mean anyone is going to listen," the Fat Lady said pleasantly, swinging open.
The sight of the common room was astonishing. It was more that the makeup, hair accessories, and mirrors everywhere. It was more than the glitter and lace and ribbon that made up Hermione's dress. It was the sight of Hermione in it. She looked lovely, but that wasn't the astonishing part. It was how completely and utterly sad she looked. She was crying, yet still capable of looking even more stunning than she did years ago at the Yule Ball.
"Hermione-"
"Harry! I'm so sorry. You have to tell Ron I can't do this. Tell him I'm sorry. I just can't do it," she sobbed, flinging herself against Harry.
"Hermione, what happened to you?" he asked gently, patting her back, not sure how to approach this. Why me? Why can't Ginny take care of this? Or Fleur, or Luna, or anybody, he thought miserably to himself. I have absolutely no idea what goes on in a girl's mind. What am I supposed to do?
"I- I can't marry Ron," she managed to choke out.
"And why can't you?" he asked warily.
"It just wouldn't be fair to him. Not when-"
"Not when what?" Harry asked, getting concerned.
"Not when… Not when I love somebody else." Hermione then proceeded to throw herself onto an armchair, curl up into a ball, and fell into hysterical sobs.
Harry was completely shocked. How could there possibly be anyone else? Hermione had barely been anywhere without Ron or Harry for the past six months. The day after the final battle, Ron had proposed and Harry went to stay at the Burrow while Hermione and Ron stayed at the Shell Cottage with Bill and Fleur for three months. Then they all came to the Burrow for wedding plans. Hermione had only ever even dated Victor Krum while they were at Hogwarts. There could only be him. If there were anyone else, surely Harry would have noticed. But I didn't, and now Ron is the one hurting because of it, he thought sadly to himself. But it was Hermione who had to tell Ron. Not him.
"Hermione, you have to tell him. That'll hurt him less than it coming to him any other way. If Victor-"
"It's not Victor. And if I tell Ron, particularly if- if I tell him who it is, that'll be the worst thing he could ever hear in his whole life," she blubbered.
"But you can tell me. Hermione, who is it? Is it George? Is that what would be so bad? You still have to tell Ron."
He tried to continue, but before he could take another breath, Hermione whispered, "Harry, it's you."
Then it all came crashing down on him. Hermione had been avoiding questions about her nervousness to reassure herself. She was fighting her own emotions; that was why all the smiles seemed so forced. The pained expression on her face whenever she looked at Harry wasn't any sort of pity for his horrible experiences. It was actual pain. She knew it would do to Ron if she admitted she loved Harry. The worst bit of the whole thing was that Harry was happy. Happy to hear that Hermione wanted to be with him instead of Ron. Happy to hear he was ruining his best friend's life. Happy to hear what he had been longing for years. Happy to hear that Hermione loved him too.
Oh, Harry may not have known it at the time, but he had been in love with Hermione since the end of his first year at Hogwarts. That was why Harry had an enigmatic feeling of sadness when Hermione accepted Ron's proposal. That explained the fury on Ginny's face. Hermione had told her too. Harry was utterly, entirely, and completely in love with Hermione Granger. And she loved him back.
Why couldn't that be enough?Harry thought bitterly. If only Harry didn't feel the same way for Hermione, perhaps she would get over it and marry Ron while Harry lived happily with Ginny. At least Harry hadn't proposed to Ginny. He had been planning to do it shortly after Ron and Hermione's wedding, but given the current circumstances, that didn't seem like the best plan for Harry unless he wanted to end up like Hermione the day of his own wedding.
At last Hermione mumbled, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made you come. This is all my fault. You don't need to feel bad. I shouldn't have gotten engaged. If only I had admitted it to myself. It's clear you don't feel the same way, so there's not even that for Ron to see-"
"Hermione, why on earth would you think I didn't feel the same way? This is my fault. I think I knew before you did that I loved you. But I just watched quietly as you and Ron dated. I encouraged Ron to propose to you, Hermione. This is not your fault," he felt his voice rise as he spoke these last few words. It was his fault, he decided to himself. He opened his mouth once more to try to sound more comforting, but once again Hermione cut him off. This time it was with a kiss. Not just any kiss, though. It was desperate and spontaneous –though later on Harry wondered why he didn't see it coming- and beautiful and everything Harry had ever hoped for. But before he had any time to react and kiss her back -oh, how he wanted to kiss her back- Hermione pulled away, looking triumphant, yet mortified.
"I, oh I've just ruined everything. Harry, I'm sorry. You don't need to tell me you love me back. You just want to make me feel better. It won't help. Kissing you was a mistake. I shouldn't- I mean, even if you did feel the same way, kissing you right now is just stupid," she babbled on to herself.
"But I just told you that I did love you, Hermione," he said gently. And with that, he kissed her lightly on the lips; pulled her up from the chair she had collapsed on, and walked her to the portrait hole. "I know it will be hard, but we have to tell Ron. I don't want to waste another second. It will only make him hurt even more. We don't want that."
Hermione looked dazed for a second, then regained her composure and said, "No, we don't want that."
When they reached the Great Hall, Harry began to regret coming with Hermione to tell Ron. "He probably will just want to hear it from you. Me being there, it might keep him from reacting properly. As much as I don't want him to scream at you, I don't think he would want me to be there. Maybe later, but not just when he hears it. It'd be like rubbing it in his face."
"Harry- No, I guess you're right. But do come talk to him later. Not right after, he doesn't need that, but don't just avoid him entirely. You're his best friend. He can't take it without you, even if you are the cause. He needs you," said Hermione, starting to tear up.
She walked into the Great Hall slowly. Come on, you can do this. For Ron and for Harry. You can do this, she thought to herself.
"Hermione? I thought I wasn't supposed to see you before the wedding. Though you do look absolutely gorgeous. How did I get so lucky?" Ron marveled, smiling hugely. His grin faded as he saw the pained look on his fiancé's face. "What's wrong, sweetheart? Are you hurt? Are-" he said.
"Ron, stop. I- I can't marry you. No, don't say anything. Let me finish. You have to promise me you'll let me finish. I can't marry you because I'm in love with Harry Potter. You have every right to want to slap me across the face for this, and I wouldn't be surprised if you did. But not yet, I beg you. I didn't realize I loved him, not completely, at least, until about an hour ago. I am absolutely disgusted with myself. I-, I'll go away. I'll never make you see me again. Or Harry, if that would help. I'll do whatever it takes to make this hurt you less."
Ron was silent for what seemed like hours to Hermione. Finally he said, "If you want this to hurt less, quit being sorry and trying to make this easier for me. It's nothing but what I've always expected anyway. I always knew you two would end up together. I thought maybe I had a chance when Harry got with Ginny, but I know now he never forgot about you. And you never forgot about him. How could I blame you? He's just perfect isn't he? The Chose One, the Boy who Lived, the savior of all wizards, how could anyone not like him? And how could he not love you? Beautiful, kind, gentle, ridiculously intelligent, everything any man could ever want. You two deserve each other. I mean it." His voice began to crack. "But promise me, Hermione, don't you dare try to keep me from seeing you. I don't blame you for backing out. I shouldn't have tried to get you, and I shouldn't have proposed. I've seen it coming for years. I put this upon myself. Now the least I could do is see you happy. Harry's my best friend. I want to see him happy, too. And Ginny will get over it. She's tough like that." He forced a smile. "Dean will be pleased to know she's single. Now where's Luna? I need to hear about some mad new species. Luna's great like that. Takes your mind off things. Oh, but first, I need to talk to Harry. Go on now, don't feel sorry."
As Hermione left the Great Hall, she nodded to Harry. He walked in and sat next to Ron.
"Ron-" he started
"No, not you too, Harry. Don't pity me. Hermione was always yours, and you know it."
"That doesn't mean I shouldn't have said something earlier. I loved her since the end of our first year, and I think I knew before she did. But I just let you go on, trying to get her to choose you. I kept letting you. I encouraged you to propose. Don't you go saying you brought this onto yourself. You may want to play martyr for Hermione, but you can't fool me. You want a reason to hate me. Not her, you love her too much. But you have no problem in finding a reason to hate me. I just gave you those reasons. So go on. Hate me now, Ron." Harry began to walk off.
"You're right, you know. But I will get over it eventually. Though only if you two stay close and don't hide anything from me. That's the only way I'll ever learn. You should go. I need some time." His voice truly did crack at this point. Harry could think of nothing better to do than nod and continue to walk off.
Whatever happened to love ends all pain? He thought. The answer came to him quite simply. It lied.
