AN: this is an absolute random thing I started over randomness. It's inspired by a show that used to be on showtime about the other film business. No one sue me over this! I make NO money! This is just totally random. And if you're easily offended or have no sense of humor, stop reading and go elsewhere.
Sookie opened the door to the office and sat down at her desk behind the reception desk. Though it really wasn't a reception area. No one ever came to the office. They just called the office and sent mail here. None of the talent ever came here. Sookie went through the mail, separating the bills from the business correspondence to junk mail. She had to go to the P.O. box later to see what fan mail there was for the office.
She looked up from her desk and Lafayette walked in, flaunting whatever he was wearing, holding his coffee as he walked into the editing room. The phones started ringing and Sookie picked it up to answer it.
"Buster Cherry Productions, how can I direct your call?" Sookie said as she opened the mail
"Sookie! Do you know where Eric is?" Pam asked
"He's not in the office yet"
"He's suppose to be on the set, we're all waiting for him!"
Sookie turned and looked at her computer. She looked at the calendar schedule for the day. Eric was scheduled to film a movie today. She opened the browser to find Eric's location via tracking his phone. It showed he was still home.
"I'll call him and find out where he is. Just sit tight" Sookie said
"The talent is getting really pissy!"
"Cmon Pam, since when did you let the talent push you around?"
"Tell him to hurry. I really hate working with these eastern europeans!"
Sookie picked up her phone and texted Eric. She went back to the mail. Her phone made a quacking sound and she looked to see that it was Eric.
E: Tommy got sick this morning. I'm running late and I know Pam is pissed
S: Pissed isn't the word for it. Those eastern europeans are not having it
E: Tell Pam to take them to lunch or something
S: Sure thing boss
Sookie texted Pam to take the talent to lunch. Sookie went over Eric's schedule again and made appointments and meetings for him. She was damn good personal assistant, nothing like the mess that walked through the door a year ago when she applied for the job.
Sookie stumbled into the office to find Eric and Lafayette playing ping pong in an empty office.
"Excuse me?" Sookie said
The two men looked over at her. Lafayette hit the ping pong ball back while Eric wasn't paying attention and it hit him.
"I win!" Lafayette yelled jumping
"That doesn't count!" Eric yelled
"Not my fault you get distracted by skirts!"
"No! Do over!" Eric yelled
"You gots work to do! I don't handle office work" Lafayette said as he walked back to his editing room.
"I'm looking for B. Cherry productions." Sookie said
"That's us, well me. Come in." Eric said as he put the ping pong paddle down
Sookie walked into the barren office.
"I'm Eric, that was Lafayette. You can see we run a small production. I used to run it out of my house, but decided that I should move into a bigger space. Sorry, the furniture didn't come yet"
"But you got a ping pong table"
"Yeah, it helps me think. So do you have any experience being a personal assistant?"
"Yeah, I sent you a copy of my resume. Did you look over it?"
"Sorry no, as you can tell, I'm way disorganized. I need someone to keep me organized and in line."
"Sounds pretty direct"
"Ok, there's something I need to be upfront about this job"
"Eric! I thought we agreed no meeting the talent in the office!" Pam yelled as she walked in
"I'm not!" Eric yelled back
"Oh please! I see the rack on this one! They do look damn good, are they real?" Pam asked as she reached out to touch Sookie's breasts
Sookie smacked Pam's hands away and stepped away.
"What the hell! Are you crazy?" Sookie yelled
"Pam! This is, oh, sorry I never got your name" Eric said
"Sook-Susanna Stackhouse"
"Susanna, she's here about the personal assistant postion" Eric said
"Really? This little thing?" Pam raised an eyebrow
"Pam, stop harassing her and tell me what you want" Eric said
"You're suppose to be on set remember? We're filming today? Felica? Tell me you didn't forget?" Pam said
"Shit! That was today?" Eric said
"Yes! You're flushing your production company down the toilet within the first month of its bastardized conception!"
"Susanna, if you can keep me organized this week, you're totally hired, and you can name your price" Eric said as he was scrambling to get his stuff
"Eric! That's not how you negotiate!" Pam yelled
"I'm in a rush right now!"
Sookie just watched the whirlwind that was Eric run around the office, grab his stuff and yank Lafayette out of the editing room.
"I wrote down all the important stuff on post it notes in my office. I haven't written it all down on a calendar yet, can you do that? And can you check the p.o box as well? The key is in my office, the address is someone in there too! Thanks" Eric said as she ran out the door with Lafayette
"Ok" Sookie said as the door closed
"Put on your big girl panties. You'll be lucky if you make it till tomorrow" Pam said
Sookie went into Eric's office and looked at the wall of post its. She looked at a box on the floor. She bent down to see what was inside. She gasped and stepped away. It was filled with adult dvds. She saw more papers on the floor and picked one up. It was a letter. She started to read it.
The office door opened suddenly and Eric appeared. Sookie looked up.
"Yeah, I forgot to tell you. I'm Buster Cherry. I make adult movies. Are you ok with that?"
Sookie just nodded.
"I know it's a stupid name, but I didn't think of that when I came up with it. I swear it's just gonna follow me around forever. Are you ok Susanna?"
"Yes, this wasn't what I was expecting when I applied"
"Oh, yeah, I get a lot of freaks and weirdos. Are you uncomfortable?"
"You're not expecting me to be in your movies are you?"
"No, no no. I just direct them and sell them. I don't star in them anymore"
Sookie stood there not knowing what to say. She didn't exactly condone what movies he was making. She just didn't understand them.
"I've never seen your movies"
"Oh, really?"
"I suppose I'm just too vanilla"
"No you're not. If you can make some order out of my mess you're a goddess"
"I'll try, and shouldn't you be going? Aren't you late already?"
"Yeah, I forgot my car keys"
Eric looked around the office and found them. He ran out the door. Sookie picked up a pad of paper and a pen and started organizing the post its.
Sookie made it past the week, and past the month surprisingly to both Pam, Eric and herself. She was pretty good at being an assistant and not only organized Eric, managed to get a tracking program on his phone so she would know where he was and could remind him of where he had to go. Eric was eternally grateful that Sookie stuck around and helped him get this business in order. Pam was tired of chasing after Eric telling him he was constantly late, and Lafayette knew that his job was to edit video, not baby Eric.
Sookie turned off her computer and shut the lights off in the office. Eric and Lafaytte were on set and she had finished everything early so she decided to leave early. She locked up the office and headed home. She drove back to the apartment she shared with her boyfriend Bill who was a computer analyst for some big important company she couldn't remember the name of. It was whenever Bill started talking about his job she would fall asleep.
She opened the door to the apartment and saw clothes on the floor. She closed the door and heard strange noises coming from her bedroom.
She walked slowly towards it and opened the door. And there she saw it.
"Bill Compton! How dare you!" Sookie screamed
Bill was rolling around with Lorena in the bed when he heard her scream. He stopped and sat up.
"Sookie, you're back early" Bill said
"Early! that's all you have to say for yourself?"
"No, I can explain!"
"Explain what? How you just fell between her legs?"
"Well you should understand! Considering what you do for a living!"
"What I do for a living? I'm a goddamn personal assistant! I'm not screwing the first female body that I come across!"
"You work for a porn company! Your boss is a porn star! He makes disgusting films degrading women!"
Sookie slapped Bill across the face.
"He directs the films he doesn't star in them! And you're the one degrading women here! You have the nerve to cheat on me with someone in our own bed?"
"Don't you ever strike me again!"
"Get out! Get out!" Sookie yelled
"Sookie!" Bill yelled
"Fine, I'll leave!" Sookie stormed out of her apartment and got into her car
She rested her head on the steering wheel and took a few deep breaths. She wasn't sure what she was going to do now. She had followed Bill out to California because he got a big, important job. She was lucky to get a job as a personal assistant. But now, it seemed like moving to California was a mistake.
The was quacking coming from her phone and she dug into her purse to find it. It was Eric.
E: Do you have the script for tomorrow?
S: It's not a script, it's 4 lines of dialogue
E: do you have the 4 lines of dialogue?
S: Isn't it on your phone? I sent it to you
E: I can't find it
S: I'll be over in 15
Sookie drove to Eric's house. Outside it looked completely normal. No one would ever suspect that a porn director lived there with his 2 year old son. Complete with white picket fence and a green lawn, it was the perfect little house in suburbia. Sookie pulled into his driveway and walked towards the house. She rang the doorbell. She heard screaming, yelling, the sounds of something crashing onto the floor and laughter. She sighed and used her spare key to let herself in.
She found Eric and his son Tommy in the kitchen, covered in spaghetti.
"Sookie!" Tommy yelled as he ran towards her
"Hold on cowboy!" Eric grabbed onto him, "Sookie doesn't want spaghetti on her clothes"
"Oh, hi Sookie!" Tommy waved
"Hi Tommy, what are you up to?"
"Making dinner with daddy"
"I see"
"Tommy, can you wash up like a big boy?" Eric asked
"Yes Daddy!" Tommy ran off towards the bathroom leaving a trail of noodles behind him
"Thanks for coming" Eric said
"That's why you pay me the big bucks" Sookie said as she took some noodles out of his hair
Eric smiled and noticed there was something different about her. He reached out and held onto her hand.
"You ok?" Eric asked
"Yeah" Sookie said as she pulled away.
She saw his phone on the counter and picked it up. She went through it and found the script.
"Here, found it. 4 lines of dialogue"
"Thanks"
Sookie's phone went off again. It was the generic ring on her phone and she dug it out of her bag. It was Bill calling her. She ignored it and put the phone back in her bag.
"I should go" Sookie grabbed her bag and her phone started ringing again. She groaned and took her phone out and saw it was Bill again. She hit the ignore button again. She realized Bill would keep calling her to annoy her. She turned her phone off. She felt hand on her shoulder
"You never turn your phone off. What's going on?" Eric asked
"I caught Bill cheating on me at home" Sookie said flatly
"What?" Eric turned her around and held onto her shoulders, "Do you want me to kill him? Cause I'll do it"
"No! Don't, I don't want you to get into trouble. I'm just really, I don't know what I am."
"Do you need a place to stay? You know we've got more than enough rooms here"
"I never understood why you needed 4 bedrooms when there are only 2 of you"
"It came with the house, but you can stay here if you want. I know Tommy would love it"
"I don't want to impose, and you're my boss"
"Right now I'm a dad who's covered in noodles, and you're a friend who needs somewhere to go temporarily. So why don't we just order pizza?"
"Pepperoni?"
"Of course!"
The week that passed went by in a daze for Sookie. She was surprised by how everyone hated Bill. In fact production stopped for a week, while Eric, Lafayette and Pam helped Sookie move her things out of Bill's and into Eric's temporarily. Sookie never realized how much they cared for her until they moved the boxes of her things into Eric's spare room.
"Thank you, all of you" Sookie said as she stood in the room watching them
They all stopped what they were doing and looked at her.
"There's no need to thank us" Eric said
"Speak for yourself, Sookie we'd do anything for you. You managed to keep my bungling cousin in order and his business afloat. You're nothing less than a miracle worker" Pam said
"Honey child, you managed to get Eric and us in line. Without you, we'd be lost" Lafayette said
"Thank you" Sookie said as she hugged Eric
Lafayette rolled his eyes and joined in on the hug. Pam stood there not moving.
"I'm wearing Prada" Pam said
The next week, things were back in full swing. Pam was out scouting for new talent. Lafayette was editing video and fixing the sound. Sookie was at her desk filling in Eric's calendar. Eric walked in carrying his coffee. He walked into his office. Sookie stood up and walked into his office.
"Eric, you up for a game of ping pong?" Sookie asked
Eric jumped up and headed towards the table. Sookie knew that Eric loved ping pong, you could get him to agree or do anything if it involved ping pong. Eric grabbed his paddle and held the ball in his hands. Sookie picked up the other paddle and stood on the other side of the table.
"Anytime you're ready"
"You're going down Stackhouse"
Eric hit the ball and Sookie hit it back. The ball went back and forth.
"Eric, thanks for letting me stay with you" Sookie said as she hit the ball back
"No problem, you're like family, I'd do anything for you. We all would"
"Good, look I've though about this, and I wanted to talk to you about it"
"Don't try to distract me"
"I'm not, but I'm serious when I say this. I want to be the girls in your movies"
Eric dropped his paddle.
"Whoa, time out" his hands moved to make a T for time out, "Total time out"
"Eric, I'm seriou-"
"No, we're not talking about this, no"
"Eric!"
"No. You win this game of ping pong. I'm done" Eric started to walk away
"Eric!" Sookie followed him back into his office
"Sookie, no, we're not talking about this"
"Why not?"
"Because we're not! You're my assistant! You're a damn good assistant! And you don't want to be the girls in my movies"
"Why not! Are you saying I'm not pretty enough?"
"No, it's not that, god, why am I even talking about this with you? No, not an option. NO"
"Fine, then I'll go find another production company that will work with me"
"NO! You can't be serious"
"Why not?"
"Because it's not you!"
"Maybe I'm tired of being me"
"I know what you're trying to do. You want a revenge fuck. I get that. But you don't want to do it on film. That's forever. You can't take it back. I tell every girl that says she wants to be in my movies that when you cross that line, you can't ever take it back. Your family can see it. Your future kids"
"I have a cheating boyfriend, I have no kids, and my gran's dead"
"Don't you have a brother?"
"He'll live"
"No he won't Sookie. You can't just say you want to do this, you have to really think about this. I mean really think about it. I have to wait till Tommy's 18 and explain to him how I really met his mom and what I really do. And I really don't want to have that conversation with him! But you, you don't have to!"
"It's not a revenge fuck! If it that's all I wanted, then I would have picked up some guy at a bar and fucked him. I want to do this, and you can either help me, or get out of the damn way"
"Sookie, just think about it ok? Just really think about this. You can't just jump into it"
"You did"
"Yeah, and I got stuck with Buster Cherry. Do you think I want my kid to know that I'm Buster Cherry?"
"Ok, so don't pick a stupid stage name"
"That's not the point! Sookie, you have to think about this, really think about this. Don't do this for revenge."
"Fine, I'll think about it more"
"And you should actually watch some of my movies to see what you're getting into"
"I know what I'm getting into. I see how you treat the talent, you're not mean and you don't make them do anything they don't want to"
"I'm one of the few that won't force a girl to do things she's not ready for. But this business will chew you up, spit you out and use you till there's nothing left. You don't want to be part of that."
"Funny coming from you. You're not gonna change my mind" Sookie said as she went back to her desk
Eric leaned back into his chair and covered his face with his hands. This was going to be a long day.
"You have a 3 o'clock meeting with the dvd distributor!" Sookie yelled
Eric looked at the clock. It was only 2pm.
"It's only 2!" Eric yelled back
"It's on the other side of town!" Sookie yelled
Eric sighed and picked up his coffee and keys from the table and headed out. He passed by Sookie's desk.
"This isn't over" Eric said
AN: end of randomness. don't bother to tell me that this is so pointless and random. I will say that show that was on showtime was pretty funny to watch.
