A glass of wine hung from Juliette's left hand as she sat on the couch, her feet tucked up under her, listening to Maura recount another story of the infamous Jane Rizzoli. Juliette had met the detective, though she'd only been to Maura's once, the prying eyes of Jane's mother had made her wary, and the way Jane looked at Maura had caused a strange ache in her heart. She hadn't gone back, out of respect for Maura and Jane or herself, she wasn't sure.
"I am almost certain you'd like her," Maura wasn't looking at her, she wasn't really looking at anything. She had a distant look in her eyes and a smile played at the corners of her lips.
"If you like her, I'm sure I would too," Juliette ran her free hand through her loose hair. "We're alike, you and I."
"Too alike," Maura's fingers tapped against the stem of her wineglass, upsetting the pinot noir inside.
"Although, I can't say I was ever any good at science," Juliette leaned forward to place her empty glass on the coffee table before she stretched her back with a soft sigh. She settled herself against the couch again before she looked up, her green eyes glowing in the dimly lit room, "Maura?"
"Yes, Juliette?" Maura sipped her wine, looking at Juliette, her eyes wide over the rim of her glass.
"Let's go to bed."
"If by bed you mean -" Maura's hazel eyes widened even further in response to a very pointed look from Juliette. "Yes. Yes, let's."
Juliette stood, holding out a hand for Maura. She gazed down at the other woman with a fondness she hadn't intended to express, and as Maura took her hand, she felt the warmth spread from the palm of her hand. She knew she did not love Maura, nor did Maura love her, but it didn't matter. Maura loved Jane, whether or not she or Jane knew it, and Juliette understood. Juliette loved Denise.
It would be much later that Maura would confide in Juliette, her voice breaking through the silence in Juliette's darkened hotel room, their hands intertwined against Maura's stomach.
"I can't have her."
And Juliette would understand, because of the past, because of the present. Because of Denise.
Juliette hadn't intended to grow so attached. They had met at a black tie event, the beginning of one of ABC's Boston stints. Maura had quite literally bumped into Juliette in her rush to secure her silent auction win. She had stammered nervously, too moved by Juliette's performance, and too taken by her poise to speak properly. It wasn't like Maura to be nervous, it was quite the contrary, yet, she was flustered. She felt the warmth in her cheeks and Juliette had graciously offered to fetch Maura another drink. She'd watched as the tall, graceful woman moved through the crowd toward the bar, and Maura knew she was in for trouble.
They'd fallen into Juliette's bed at the Ritz, a tangle of limbs and silk, and Juliette tried not to notice the differences between Maura and Denise. Maura's eyes were hazel and her hair was light, she spoke with precision and she did not gasp a faint 'I love you' as she came. But Maura was warm and she smelled like roses and mint, with a hint of sterility, and her fingers tangled in Juliette's long hair. And when she came, Juliette didn't feel quite so lonely.
The next morning, Maura's phone woke them both. Juliette watched as Maura hurried around the room, trying to gather her things. She sat up slowly, stretching in the early morning sun, and Maura turned with an apologetic smile. Juliette had stood, letting the sheets slip from her lithe form, she'd abandoned modesty somewhere in her early twenties, and she handed Maura her purse. She'd pressed a kiss to her lips, murmuring an invitation and she knew, as Maura pulled away with want in her eyes, she'd see the doctor again.
It wasn't until Juliette boarded a plane back to New York that Maura realized how much she needed the comfort of the other woman's arms. It had been a short two weeks, and she hadn't dared to tell Jane. She'd gone to say goodbye, uncharacteristically large sunglasses covering the inexplicable flow of tears after she gave Juliette a languid kiss goodbye. Juliette's suitcase had been waiting by the door and Maura saw to it that she was placed in a taxi and she watched until it was out of sight before sliding into her own car to return to the solitude of her office. If Jane noticed anything when she returned to work, she didn't bother to comment on it.
They spoke occasionally and infrequently after that, quick phone calls laced with innuendo and unspoken understanding. It was months later that Juliette found herself wrapped up in the warmth of Maura's room at The Carlyle. A medical conference had brought Maura to town and retirement had freed up Juliette's nights. She wasn't at all surprised when she'd followed Maura upstairs after too many cocktails at Bemelmans Bar. She was surprised when Maura mumbled, 'I missed you' against her lips, and she only kissed her harder in response. This time, when they parted, Juliette felt Maura's absence for the first time.
Another tour took Juliette to Boston again. Despite retirement, Jonathan had required her assistance and professional counsel and demanded she tag along. Maura did not go unnoticed by Jonathan, she was beautiful after all, and it made Juliette's blood boil. Maura had flirted back, they'd never discussed rules, and Juliette had all but dragged her from the reception and back to her hotel. She had ripped Maura's blue silk dress in her haste, earning a smack on the arm when she didn't apologize immediately. She murmured her apologies against the flat plane of Maura's stomach, her hands caressing smooth thighs and the curve of Maura's ass.
Before Juliette left Boston, Maura's voice had stirred her from sleep. She'd blinked her eyes open slowly before she asked Maura to repeat whatever it was she had said.
"Come over for dinner," Maura was half-asleep herself, but her fingertips traced lazy circles against Juliette's back. "I'll cook. Coq au vin, arugula, potatoes," her breathing slowed and she seemed satisfied by her proposal. "Wine."
There was a moment of hesitation before Juliette replied. She and Maura were casual, sporadic, uncomplicated. She'd never seen Maura's home and Maura had never seen hers. Maura was separate from the things she kept close and familiar, yet she was intertwined and held a place in Juliette's life all the same. She wrestled with the idea for a moment before answering, "Yes. Dinner."
It was with some apprehension that Juliette stood on Maura's doorstep, reaching out to ring the bell. She tugged at the hem of her sweater, the cashmere soft between her fingertips, but all was forgotten when Maura answered the door, radiant and childlike all at once.
"Don't think I'm trying to woo you," Maura had quipped as she placed a glass of wine in Juliette's hand.
"Then what are you doing, Doctor?" Juliette had accepted the glass readily before meeting Maura in the slowest of kisses. Dinner was forgotten as she pushed Maura up against the kitchen island, spilling droplets of merlot on the crisp white collar of Maura's Lanvin blouse. Maura's whine of displeasure was muffled against Juliette's lips, and she carefully lifted her onto the counter. "I'm sorry," Juliette murmured against Maura's chest. The scent of roses and mint and something that was completely Maura caused her to sigh softly and she slipped a hand beneath the silk of Maura's skirt. "I'm sorry, Maura."
"That's the difference between us," Maura had said, her breathing slow and labored as Juliette's hand moved between her legs. "You can tell a lie."
They were seated on the couch when the front door opened, revealing both of the Rizzoli women. Maura's head rested on Juliette's shoulder, and Juliette's head was turned, her lips against the top of Maura's head. Maura nearly knocked into her in her haste to sit up straight and the look on Jane's face would haunt Juliette for years to come. She knew of Jane, but not really, and the sadness and hurt in her eyes told her everything she needed to know.
"Oh!" Maura's eyes had widened considerably and her shoulders tensed under Juliette's arm. "Jane! Angela!"
"Didn't know you were having company," Angela gave a tentative smile. "Hi. I'm Angela Rizzoli."
"Angela, Jane, this is Juliette," Maura was focused on Jane now, her eyes were pleading, and she faced the detective from her seat on the couch. She couldn't look at Juliette and she felt the other woman's arm drop to the couch. "Juliette, this is Jane and her mother, Angela."
"It's nice to meet you," Juliette stood to shake Angela's extended hand. Something about Angela's smile was off-putting, as if she had a secret, and Juliette turned to Jane. She managed to hide a wince as Jane gripped her hand all too tightly. "You work with Maura?"
Jane's eyes were cold and her jaw was set at a harsh angle, "Yes. And I wish I could say I knew what you do with Maura," There was an uncomfortable pause. "But I'm pretty sure I have an idea of what that might be."
"We'll be out of your hair, come on Jane." Angela tugged at her daughter's free hand, throwing a sympathetic smile in Juliette's direction.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Dr. Isles," Jane dropped Juliette's hand and shook her mother off before heading toward the front door. Her shoulders hunched forward and Maura felt a stab to her gut as Jane's wild curls fell over her face. Her jaw jutted out angrily from the curtain of black waves, and she yanked open Maura's front door.
"Jane!" Maura looked helpless, seated on the couch with one foot tucked underneath her. "Jane, wait!"
Juliette stood in the middle of the room, watching as Maura ran after Jane. Her bare feet smacked against the pavement as she ran to the curb and her hair flew behind her. She watched as Maura tried to reason with her but was only met with Jane's stony silence. Maura watched as Jane got into her car and sped off before slowly padding back toward the house. Her shoulders slumped forward and her eyes had lost their sparkle.
"You know, maybe I should go," Juliette moved to the counter for her purse. "Maybe this was a bad idea."
"It was," Maura confirmed, sitting down on the couch again. "It was a bad idea, and I never should have suggested it."
"I'll call you, Maura." Juliette was gathering her things, moving as quickly as possible in an effort to remove herself. She wished she could wrap her arms around Maura, tell her it would be okay, but the arms Maura needed were not hers.
"Don't leave without saying goodbye," she looked up like a lost child as Juliette reached the door.
Juliette nodded, a lump in her throat, and she opened the door. "I'll call you."
She didn't see Maura for days, preferring to give the doctor some space. After her encounter with Jane Rizzoli, she thought it best to keep her distance. Juliette understood; she was a placeholder, a brief and loveless affair until Jane came to her senses.
"I thought you'd call sooner," Maura closed her laptop, done for the evening, and she began to gather her things.
"I didn't want to make things complicated," Juliette murmured, curled up against the pillows.
"Between whom?" Maura slipped into her trench coat, balancing the phone between her ear and her shoulder.
"You and Jane," she paused before adding, "And you and me."
"Things are already complicated," Maura ignored Juliette's sigh. "We were just ignoring the complications in the hope they didn't need to matter."
"Do they matter?"
"Yes. No. Yes." Maura felt her heart racing in her chest and she felt her breath quicken. She knew this conversation was inevitable, it always would be, but this time, something bigger was held in the balance. She wasn't ready to give up Juliette, but she wasn't interested in giving up Jane either. Jane was her constant, the one thing she could count on. But Juliette, she made Maura smile and the press of Juliette's lips against her own made her shiver.
"Maura," Juliette's voice was soft and Maura's heart stilled for the briefest of moments.
"Yes, Juliette?"
"I can't read your mind."
"I know, that would be impossible. You're not telepathic. Telepathy isn't even considered a real phenomenon in the scientific community. Well-controlled experiments rarely produce results that even somewhat replicate -"
"Maura, breathe," Juliette interjected, sighing softly, a small smile evident in her voice. "I just... I need to know what you want."
Maura was silent for a moment, contemplating her answer. It wasn't as simple, nor as sensical, as she wanted it to be. There was nothing concrete about any of it and no answer seemed to assure her she had done nothing wrong.
"Maura?"
"I want," she paused, her index finger tapping against her cellphone as she tried to gather her thoughts. "I want to know what I want."
It was Juliette's turn to pause. She took a deep breath, "Do you want me?"
"Yes," Maura didn't hesitate and her finger stilled against the phone. "Yes, I do."
She had shown up at Juliette's hotel, her arms full of tupperware, a bottle of merlot in her bag, and she'd offered them shyly once the door had been opened. Juliette's fingertips traced the line of her jaw before she stepped aside to allow Maura in.
"To make up for the other night," she explained simply, stepping inside.
"Oh, Maura," Juliette had smiled, kissing her forehead. "You didn't have to."
"I wanted to."
Juliette nodded and closed the door, taking the offered food and Maura's coat. She busied herself in the kitchenette and passed Maura a corkscrew over the counter.
"When do you leave?" Maura hadn't bothered to ask, but she knew it was soon. Juliette had been in town for over a month, her stay in Boston had to be coming to a close. She was grateful, things with Jane would be back to normal after an appropriate interval, and Maura's nights would be spent on the couch with a good book and a glass of wine, Bass milling about beneath the coffee table. But she would miss Juliette. She would miss waking beneath the crisp white linens and the warmth of Juliette's slender arms. She would miss watching Juliette stretch, the sheets falling away from her body as her back arched in the morning sunlight. And she would miss the stretches of warm silence that settled over them as Maura poured over case files while Juliette reviewed company paperwork.
"I leave tomorrow," Juliette stopped plating their food, watching for Maura's reaction.
"Tomorrow," Maura echoed, surprised. "I... I won't see you again?"
Juliette shrugged, "That depends, planning a trip to New York any time soon?"
She was so casual, Maura noted, as if it didn't bother her.
"This isn't as final as the situation would make it seem, is it?" Maura paused, the corkscrew held daintily in one hand.
"That's up to you," Juliette set down her spoon, and rested both hands on the counter. She looked thoughtfully at Maura for a moment before her eyebrows furrowed in thought. She moved around the counter to where Maura stood, her stilettos sinking into the carpet as Juliette's arms encircled her waist. "I know I don't hold any special place in your heart."
"That's not true," Maura protested, and then she paused, her eyes widening in realization. This was what they weren't going to discuss, this was what they thought they could cleverly avoid. "Oh, oh no," she shook her head as she tried to pull away from Juliette, but the other woman's arms only held tighter.
"Let me try again," Juliette's voice was gentle but her arms were secured around Maura's middle. "The place I hold in your heart is temporary, and we're never going to fall in love and ride off into a blissful moonlit paradise. Your heart belongs to Jane, Maura. I might have the tiniest part of it here and now, but Maura, I'll let you go when you tell me to."
Maura looked up, her eyes wide, and she gripped Juliette's forearms tightly in her shaking hands. "Please don't let me go, not yet," she shook her head, her golden curls bouncing gently. "There's something about you that I can't explain. I need you, Juliette. Sometimes I need you like I need Jane."
This time, leaving Maura was easier. Juliette didn't want the security, but she felt reassured as she boarded her plane, Maura would still be in Boston whenever she returned, and Maura wouldn't turn her away. Maura would welcome her with open arms, and she would nuzzle the side of Juliette's neck as she murmured her greeting, and it would be as it had been.
It was a cold evening in January when a familiar voice in a quiet bar made the hair on the back of Juliette's hair stand straight up and caused her heart to stop for the briefest of moments before it began to race in her chest. Maura was forgotten, because no matter how large the space the doctor held in her heart, it would always belong to Denise. She had turned, her heart thundering in her ears as her gaze focused on the brunette at the bar. It had been years, decades even, but the woman before her was familiar and the way her eyes glowed when they had set themselves on Juliette, made her knees weak.
"Hello, Ju."
The air rushed from Juliette's lungs, and she remembered what it was like to feel so intensely. She remembered what it felt like to pin her hopes on one single person, to feel as if the world went on forever in their eyes, and she remembered what it felt like to fall. She felt as if she would never stop falling, and it wasn't until she felt Denise's arms wrapped around her that she could focus again. But she was shaking, and she thought she might be crying, but she couldn't be sure. All she could see were Denise's eyes and she closed her own as her lips descended on Denise's, tangling her fingers in long brown silk, and she gasped softly at how familiar it all was.
"Did you teach last night?" Maura inquired and she closed the file she had been reviewing. "I called you."
"I know," Juliette looked at her unmade bed, Denise curled up, sound asleep, in the middle, the sheets tangled around her long legs. "I didn't teach, no. I ran into an old friend."
"Oh," Maura nodded, looking up as Jane passed by her office. The detective smiled, pointing toward the lab, and Maura nodded again.
"Maura?"
"Sorry, Jane was passing by."
"When Jane looks at you," she paused, choosing her words carefully. "Does she look at you like you're the only thing she sees?"
Maura thought about this and her brows furrowed, "Well, I can't be the only thing she sees, Juliette."
Juliette rolled her eyes, "Maura."
She sighed, pushing her files aside to clear some space on her desk. "Yes, she does."
"And do you, in turn, feel your heart stop when you look at her?"
"I," Maura so badly wanted to debate the scientific inaccuracy of Juliette's words, but she closed her mouth. "Yes."
"I ran into Denise," Juliette blurted and there was a long moment of silence before Maura spoke.
"And?" she had risen from her desk chair, on her way to the lab down the hall.
"She reminded me what it feels like to have my heart stolen, to be the only person someone sees," Juliette's gaze rested on Denise, peaceful in sleep, and she sighed softly. "Love Jane, Maura. Let yourself love Jane. She loves you like you want to be loved, no, like you deserve to be loved. What we had was great, but what we can have without each other means more than anything we could ever have together. And Jane, Jane loves you too. But she's not going to be the first one to say it."
"I can't, Juliette. It's complicated," Maura argued, seeing Jane's back through the lab window. She watched as Senior Criminalist Chang reviewed DNA results with Jane. Jane's arms were crossed over her chest and her shoulders hunched forward in the way Maura knew they did when she was frustrated.
"That's what I thought, but it's not, not really. Denise gets on a plane back to Chicago in three days, and I don't even care anymore. I mean, I care, but isn't it so much better to know, instead of wondering what may have happened if you'd had the guts to do something about it?"
"I don't want to lose her," Maura shoved her free hand into the pocket of her lab coat.
"You won't."
As if on cue, Jane turned, sensing Maura behind her, and she smiled. Maura gave a tentative smile back and she gripped the phone tighter in her hand.
"I love her."
"I know," Juliette slipped back into bed, wrapping herself around Denise again. "She does too."
"Thank you, Juliette."
"You're welcome, just give me a call if you're ever in Manhattan," she brushed a kiss against Denise's shoulder as she ended the call, placing the phone on her nightstand again.
"I will," Maura slipped her phone into her pocket as she pushed open the door to the lab.
Months passed and all seemed so still. The silence between she and Jane had only deepened, due to Juliette's absence and the shooting that had left them so incredibly raw. She longed for the quiet moments, her head resting on the flat plane of Juliette's stomach as Juliette's fingers tangled in her blonde curls. She would tell her how difficult it all felt, how she couldn't help but push Jane far, far away, and how lost she felt. She could hear Juliette's voice in her mind and if she closed her eyes she could almost feel her fingers twirling through her hair.
"Maura?" Juliette's voice was thick with sleep, and Maura felt an instantaneous pang of guilt in her stomach. "Is everything alright? Are you alright?"
Maura's mouth opened and closed, unable to find the words she needed. She could hear Denise in the background, muttering something about an early morning, and that sent another harsh pang to her gut.
"Maura?"
"Everything's changed," she heard herself mumble after another moment. "I can't make sense of it, Juliette. I can't."
"You can make sense of anything, Dr. Isles," Juliette's voice was warm and Maura felt her chest tighten. "What's wrong?"
"She hates me," was Maura's timid reply.
"She couldn't hate you. What happened, Maura? Tell me," Juliette urged softly as she padded across the room. She slipped into the bathroom and closed the door. "You can tell me."
"Everything was fine, I was undercover, and oh, Juli, it was so exciting, but everything went wrong. I... My father, my biological father, he was trying to protect me, but so was Jane, and -" Maura's chest heaved and she felt a sob hurtling upward.
"Oh, Maura. Maura, honey."
"He shot a federal agent, and she shot him, and oh god, she hates me," Maura fell back against the pillows, the three glasses of red wine suddenly present as she babbled. "We haven't spoken, not really, and every time we try, it just goes so terribly wrong. What do I do, Juli?"
"You tell her, honey," Juliette murmured. She sat down on the edge of the tub, her free hand gripping the marble ledge. The marble was cool beneath her fingertips and she remembered the way Maura had eased into the tub one night. Juliette sat on the edge, listening, and Maura told her all about Jane.
"She doesn't care," Maura's voice was hoarse, broken, and suddenly Juliette understood.
"She's hurting, Maura. She's hurting just as much as you are and, and, that scares her. This might be the first time Jane's ever hurt like this. Tell her that kind of pain is only worth it if you're going to be honest with each other about it."
"I miss how easy things felt with you," she sighed.
"I know, and I wish they felt easy for you now."
"Me too," Maura gave a mirthless chuckle and wiped a few stray tears from her cheeks. "How long is Denise in town?"
"A few more days," Juliette said casually.
"How do you do it?"
"I don't really know," Juliette sighed, crossing her legs. "Every time she gets in a cab to JFK, I feel like I'm losing a part of myself."
"That's how I feel now," Maura whimpered into the darkness. "Like I've lost a part of myself."
"Then get it back, Doctor. She won't wait forever. And neither can you. And once you and Jane are where you should be, maybe we can all meet again."
"I knew when you left the last time, that would be it," she burrowed further under the blankets and let the phone rest on her pillow.
"Is that why you cried?"
"Maybe," Maura shrugged, fingering the hem of her satin nightgown. "Does she make you happy? Even miles away?"
"She does. She makes me happier than I've ever been."
"Did I make you happy?" Maura asked. "I'm sorry, that was... I just... Science. I don't mean like Denise makes you happy. Just..."
"I know. And you did."
"Oh," Maura sounded pleased. And surprised. "Good."
"Call me when you talk to her, Maur. I've got to get some sleep. Don't beat yourself up, and don't let Jane beat herself up too much longer either." Juliette stifled a yawn as she got up and started back toward the bedroom.
"Thank you, Juliette."
"You're welcome, honey." She hung up the phone and slid back into bed, nuzzling the back of Denise's neck. "I love you," she murmured, her arm slipped around Denise's middle and she closed her eyes against the impending sunrise.
"I love you too," Denise murmured sleepily, leaning back into Juliette's embrace. "Why did you answer her call at five AM?"
"She's sad. Stressed. She's an awful insomniac when Jane isn't speaking to her."
"Mm. Can we sleep now?"
"Of course," Juliette laughed softly, pressing a gentle kiss to the base of her neck.
It was a month before Juliette heard from Maura again. Her apartment was a labyrinth of boxes and she sat amongst them, a bowl of salad balanced on one knee, a planner on the other. Pierre was curled up to the side and Juliette ran down a list of all the things she needed to finish before her move to Chicago. She looked around at the now empty apartment, remembering how bare it had been when she'd moved in fifteen years earlier. It hadn't been much then, but it was home. She'd hung posters and art, photographs of her travels, her achievements, but they were all packed up now. The walls were bare and she felt a familiar ache in her heart. Juliette didn't like to leave things behind, not anymore, but she found it became easier as she grew older. The ringing of her phone startled her and she set her date book aside when she saw Maura's name.
"Well, it's been a while."
"Hi," Maura was out of breath, but Juliette could hear her smiling. "I wanted to call. I... I'm happy."
"And I'm happy for you."
"She's upstairs waiting for me, I just... I wanted to tell you. I needed to tell you."
"Oh, Maura," Juliette smiled, pushing all her things aside for a moment. "You deserve that."
"I do, don't I?" Maura's voice was timid.
"You do," Juliette nodded her agreement. "I should let you go, and I've got to go too. I'm Chicago-bound tomorrow, permanently."
"Perm... You're... You're moving to Chicago?" Maura's eyes widened and she brought one hand to her mouth. "Oh, Juli!"
"Yeah, we," she paused for a moment, remembering the argument that had ended with her apartment on the market. "We decided it was time to make some choices. I'm ready for a change anyhow. Working for your ex is only fun for so long," she rolled her eyes.
"I'm happy for you too," Maura looked up when she heard movement on the stairs. She broke out into a grin when Jane appeared in the hall, Maura's robe wrapped around her. She tilted her head inquisitively and Maura reached out for her. "I should go. I should really go. But I'll talk to you soon? Travel safe and good luck?"
"Thanks, Maura. Yeah, someday, maybe you can meet Denise. You'd like her. And I'm still sure I'd like Jane in the right situation."
"I am sure you would too."
"I'll talk to you soon, Maura. Take care."
"You too, Juliette."
"What was that?" Jane nodded toward Maura's phone.
"Oh, Juliette. She's moving to Chicago tomorrow."
Jane's expression was confused for a moment but she shrugged, "You coming to bed? Bass is nudging the door with his head and I really don't know what to do. He's a heavy turtle, I can't exactly push him away."
"Tortoise," Maura corrected her before sliding off her chair and sauntering past the taller woman. "He's just upset about his lack of bedtime stories lately."
"Bedtime stories, ha," Jane rolled her eyes, but followed Maura back upstairs.
"I give him a few strawberries and we read. He's rather fond of Mamet."
"You read your turtle Mamet?"
"Rather out of character, I agree, but I thought he needed a little masculine energy."
"Oh my god," Jane shook her head and flopped down onto Maura's bed. "Can we just go to bed? I'm not even sure if I'm in the mood anymore."
"Oh, Jane," Maura shook her head, her smile growing. "You're always in the mood."
"Not anymore. Not after Juliette Simone and Bass and Mamet. No, no thank you," Jane rolled onto her back, staring at the large crack in Maura's ceiling. "Why don't you fix that?"
Maura shrugged, crawling up toward Jane, "I don't mind it. It adds some character, don't you think?" She curled up against Jane's side, her arm draped across the other woman's hips.
"That's a ridiculous phrase. 'It adds character' what does that even mean? This place is yours, Maura. It's you. That's its 'character.' The fancy coffee maker in the kitchen, the tribal masks from that village that I can never pronounce, the Jo Malone candles all over the place, those are you. That crack in the ceiling? That is decidedly not you."
"No, it's not. It's you."
"A crack in your ceiling... that's me? God, Maura, lay on the charm."
"I... Yes," Maura stated simply, nuzzling Jane's neck. "I love you."
"You can't just say that and assume I'll be placated."
"But you are," Maura rolled to her other side to turn off the light. She felt Jane shift behind her and she stared out into the darkness as Jane's arm wrapped itself around her middle. She felt safe with Jane wrapped around her, and she was content despite Bass's thumping against the closed door. "Because I'm the person I've always wanted to be when I'm with you. I'm not Maura the Bora... I'm just Maura. I suddenly don't care about a crack in my ceiling or the instant coffee hiding behind the box of your Cocoa Puffs in my cupboard. You've changed the idea of perfection I held so tightly, I was so... so regimented. And alone. And now I'm not."
"Even when you were with Juliette?" Jane's breath was hot against her ear and she couldn't help the shiver that ran down her spine.
"Juliette isn't you, Jane. She never was. I've... I've always loved you. She knew that, and I knew that too." Jane's hand was splayed against her stomach and she covered it with one of her own, "I wouldn't lie about that."
"You couldn't lie about that," Jane chuckled softly, pulling her close. "Hives, Maura."
Maura turned around in Jane's embrace, her fingertips tracing the neckline of the satin robe against Jane's smooth skin. Her lips found her favorite spot just above Jane's sternum and she smiled, "And you don't see any hives, do you?"
"I don't know, it's dark," Jane teased, brushing her lips against Maura's forehead. "Juliette was right," she felt Maura's brow furrow beneath her lips and she smiled. "I love you. I love you, Maura."
"I love you too, Jane."
