Pairing: Hotch/JJ
Rating: K
Warning: Very light language and a spoiler of episode 100. So if you haven't seen that, don't read this.
Aaron makes her feel safe.
JJ isn't quite sure that she's every felt that way before. She remembers being a little girl and the safety she would feel knowing her parents were one bedroom away from her. The overwhelming sense of peace to know that her big strong bear of a father would never let anything happen to her or her mother.
It probably explained why JJ was never truly afraid of the dark.
Not until she got to the BAU.
Then she learned what could be hiding in the dark. Monsters had a whole new meaning to her. It was no longer the boogeyman and ghosts that kept her awake at night.
No, these monsters were much worse than that. Killers, kidnapers, rapists, psychopaths that got off by torturing other people. Families that got their hearts ripped out when they realized what had happened to their father, mother, daughter or son.
These monsters were so much worse than the boogeyman.
Will tried his best to keep the monsters at bay when JJ would lay her head on the pillow. He would sing to her right before she fell asleep. He would find anything but the job to talk about with her. He would tell her that it was all going to be okay.
But at some point during the night she would have the dreams. She knew she was hardly the only one who had nightmares in the BAU. Everyone had nightmares in the BAU. They had all talked with each other about it before. Shared what they do to keep them away and what they do when they can't keep them away.
JJ finds an odd sort of comfort knowing that once again the team is together in this. She isn't alone and has people who will completely understand what she's going through.
She isn't quite sure when exactly she fell in love with Aaron Hotchner or when he fell in love with her. Those things don't really matter. Because she can't imagine ever loving anyone with her whole heart the way she loves him.
She didn't really see it coming. But looking back on it now she knows that he adds something to her life that she couldn't find anywhere else. They are opposite in a lot of ways but somehow that's what makes them work. They balance each other out.
They had been dating for six months when Aaron and her sat down and decided they couldn't put it off any longer.
Hotch didn't think anyone knew about them. He was surprised when Morgan just laughed triumphantly and high fived him. Emily rolled her eyes and mumbled "It's about damn time you told us" and Garcia hugged JJ so tightly she could hardly breathe.
"You all knew about us?" He asked not able to stop the smirk that formed.
"They were taking bets on when you would tell us actually. I'm pretty sure that Emily and Derek owe Rossi a ton of money."
Rossi smiled triumphantly and Emily and Derek groaned remembering their wager. "Damn straight. I accept payment in the form of cash, check, or credit card."
It didn't take long after that for Aaron and Jack to move in with JJ and Henry. It took a few weeks to get used to but they find their rhythm in time, and Jack stops stealing all of Henrys toys away making the younger boy screech in anger.
"They act like brothers" he whispers in JJs ear. She smiles and leans against him and sighs after a long day.
"We are an unconventional little family aren't we?"
They both laugh and he pulls her into the bedroom. But JJ knows that it is part of what makes the dreams come less often. The feeling of being a family.
She knows that Aaron would do anything to protect her. He would lay down his own life to save Jack, and she's pretty sure that goes for Henry as well.
When they lay in bed together she tucks herself away in the warm and strength of his sturdy arms. Aaron Hotchner is her safe place.
But sometimes the dreams still come. They are more vivid now after everything with Foyet is over. What happened to Aarons family everyone of them felt. She thinks of Penelope being on the line while Haley was killed. Of her and Emily who couldn't even pretend not to be completely destroyed by it all when it happened. Even of the other men in the team. Rossi, Morgan, Reid. They all felt Hotch's grief when he lost his ex wife.
Even though things were over between Aaron and Haley, JJ knows he would always love her. In the same way that she would always love Will. They were the other half to their children. Their first true loves and best friends.
The dreams are about Foyet. But they aren't about what happened that day. She dreams that he comes after her and the boys. She dreams that Foyet finds her. Tortures her. Kills her and then himself.
That isn't the part that wakes her up though.
It's when Aaron gets the news. When he finds her. When he holds her dead, bloody body and a sob rakes out of his chest like nothing she's ever heard before.
She gasps and wakes up with a start. Her body is in a cold sweat and her heart is pounding so fast she can hardly breathe. She realizes that the sob from her dream was her own because Aaron has turned a light on. He's sitting up and scooping her into his arms.
She cries and lets him hold her.
He doesn't have to ask what dream she had. It's been the same one for so long now there is no reason to.
Aaron just holds her and lets her heart calm down. He understands that in dreams like those everything feels real.
"It's okay, JJ. I'm here. It's okay…" he whispers soothingly into her ear and she collapses against his chest.
He keeps whispering to her like that until she falls asleep again. Letting her know that everything is going to be okay. Tell her how much he loves her. How much he needs her. That someday soon he's going to marry her. They will be a real family.
It always works. JJ falls asleep and the dreams don't come back for weeks even months at a time.
It is her favorite type of lullaby that he sings.
