Disclaimer: I don't own Wicked. Especially not the Epilogue part of my story.
A/N: I don't own the title either, since I stole that from a song by Katie Thompson which was performed by Julia Murney on her last Joe's Pub performance & has provided some inspiration for this fanfic ^^ Reviews are always more than appreciated :)
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Do You?
The door to Elphaba's room in Colwen Grounds was opened and thrown shut with a loud bang that made Elphaba jump to her feet and drop the book she had rather stared at than read to the ground where it was forgotten within seconds as she caught sight of a furious Glinda whose eyes seemed to be ablaze with all sorts of emotions, glowing darkly in her pale face.
"Do you think I'm happy?," the blonde asked loudly, stepping further into the room and therefore closer to the green woman who stood unmoving next to the armchair she had been sitting in a minute before.
Elphaba stared at her old college friend, not quite sure how to reply to such a question. Since her arrival she had talked to Glinda once, shortly, and this visit would've been unexpected even without the blonde's obvious temper. She opened her mouth in an attempt to answer, but closed it again in a loss of words, dropping her eyes to the floor where she fixed her glance on the ground.
"Do you?," Glinda repeated, almost yelling this time. Elphaba looked up, startled, and found Glinda's face so close to her own that she could smell the remnants of the blonde's rose scented powder that had been removed hours before.
Locking eyes with Glinda she was surprised at the dark color of the blonde's irises as they had deepened in hue with Glinda's rage.
"I don't know," she finally answered, her voice soft and rather insecure. "I always assumed that a life like the one you're leading was all you ever wanted," Elphaba added a little louder, straightening her shoulders.
"You assumed...," Glinda repeated, shaking her head and stepping away from Elphaba. "You were all I ever wanted." Locking eyes with Elphaba again, Glinda sighed. "The dreams of popularity and admiration had been planted into my head ever since I was born. You were the one who showed me that there are other things worth living... and yet, you were the greatest disappointment of all."
The tone of her voice had changed, getting softer and more hurt with every word she said. For a moment she held Elphaba's puzzled look before she averted her eyes and moved to the window, looking out over the darkness that had spread outside.
"You told me to hold out, remember? It was the kiss, though, that really broke my heart," she said, placing her fingertips against the cold glass. "I did, you know. Hold out, I mean. I waited for you, laying in bed with my eyes on the door, waiting for you to burst in. I sat by the window and looked out, searching for a black figure on the school grounds, but everything was in vain."
Glinda's chest heaved with a sigh before she glanced at Elphaba who still stood in the same place, head bowed with shame, maybe?
"You broke my heart... and I still forced myself to be strong. For Nessa. For myself. For you. I actually started to concentrate on my studies," Glinda added with a soft laugh. "I wanted you to be proud of me when you came back. Turns out you never returned and never saw the effort I'd put into school." This time the laugh was bitter and the softness was gone.
"Do you think it's fun, having a husband who cares only for appearances, not for my wellbeing? A man who doesn't give a damn about my feelings?" In the blink of an eye, Glinda stood before Elphaba again and the ferocity in her eyes had returned.
"Do you think I enjoyed waiting for you – for years! - having the pieces of my heart crushed a little more with every moment you weren't with me?"
"I... I'm sorry, Glinda. I shouldn't have assumed...," Elphaba answered, biting her lips and looking at Glinda with tears welling up in her eyes. She had thought, or rather had made herself think, that Glinda would be better off without her anyway and that she should put her own longings aside for the benefit of the friend she loved, not even daring to think that Glinda could actually have felt the same pain that she had endured after their parting.
"You're right, you shouldn't have. You never had the right to decide what was good for me," Glinda growled. She felt her heart melting at the sight of Elphaba in such a state of mind, but she wasn't going to give in. Not now. She was angry and Elphaba deserved being the object of her wrath, even though that was fading more and more as well.
"I never wanted to hurt you," Elphaba said in a whisper, blinking the tears away that were threatening to fall. "Please believe that. I didn't stay away because I didn't want to see you. Because I did... And keeping away from you didn't only break your heart."
"Oh damn it," escaped Glinda's lips when she realized her anger was faltering and a feeling of a different kind was taking its place. Throwing her carefully built resistance over board she stepped up to Elphaba and pulled her into an unexpected kiss.
Elphaba's eyes widened in surprise but she did nothing to object the action. When it became clear that Glinda had indeed wanted her lips to end up on Elphaba's, the green woman slowly began to respond, careful not to provoke the fury that seemed to have subsided.
"I've missed you so much," Glinda sighed when their lips parted for a moment before she leaned in for another kiss. This one lasted longer as they sought out each other in desperate need for contact, their bodies as close together as the dresses would allow it.
Even when the kiss ended, their lips remained only a breath apart until a long imprisoned sob escaped Glinda and as another one fallowed, Elphaba's grip around her waist tightened while a green hand softly lead her head onto Elphaba's bony shoulder.
"Why did you leave me?," Glinda gasped, voice muffled by the heavy black material Elphaba's dress was made out. As the small voice rang in Elphaba's ears, it suddenly didn't feel like Colwen Grounds anymore. All of the sudden, they were students at Shiz again and Elphaba had returned to her beloved as she should have. Swallowing the lump in her throat, Elphaba guided herself and Glinda over to her bed and sat down before pulling the blonde back into her arms.
"I'm sorry," she repeated continuously, burying her face in Glinda's golden locks until the blonde's sobs shook her small body less frequently and finally ceased completely. Not moving from her place in Elphaba's arms Glinda squeezed her eyes shut, dreaming herself back to Shiz for a moment. Things would've been so different, she thought, had Elphaba returned to university instead of remaining in the Emerald City.
"I don't want you to leave...," Glinda whispered into Elphaba's neck enjoying the familiar scent she had never been able to put a name on. While Elphaba remained silent, Glinda started to place soft kisses on the green skin of Elphaba's neck, knowing very well what the missing answer meant.
"You will, though... won't you?" she asked between kisses, making her way higher and letting her lips flutter over Elphaba's prominent jaw bone until she reached her lips. Elphaba's dark eyes seemed almost black and Glinda found herself unable to read them.
"Hush... Don't talk about what might happen tomorrow, or the day after, when we've got the night for ourselves," Elphaba whispered tenderly, tracing Glinda's delicate features with her fingers until they met her full lips and rested on them in a gesture that was meant to silence the questions that tortured the green woman's heart so much.
Glinda turned away, feeling Elphaba's touch leave her skin and tears welling up in her eyes. She quickly bit her lip and forced her tears to remain unshed before she turned back and captured Elphaba's lips with her own, almost attacking her with desperate determination, tearing at the clothes that kept skin from skin.
With nearly the same desperation, Elphaba joined in, though her actions were softer; loving rather than desperate as she removed Glinda's dress, savouring every touch and storing every inch of alabaster skin in her mind to save the memories for times when she wouldn't be with Glinda.
The blonde's actions weren't as considerate. Anger and despair spoke louder than her love for Elphaba and so she used her teeth more often than her lips, leaving dark marks on her lover's green skin, not caring about the yelps she elicited until Elphaba pulled her up and pressed her lips against Glinda's in an effort to make her less aggressive and the kiss indeed seemed to calm Glinda down a little. Finally realizing that that night would most probably be the only chance she had with Elphaba, she broke the kiss and took in the view of the green face beneath her, surrounded by dark locks, lips parted, panting softly.
Capturing Elphaba's cheek and catching her eyes in a silent apology, she started to place a kiss on every bite mark she had left, caressing the slight curves Elphaba hid so well under her heavy black gowns.
Kisses and touches continued as they explored further than either of them had imagined they ever would until exhaustion got the better of them and they fell into a content and happy sleep, even though both knew that feeling wouldn't survive the next morning.
They had slept clinging to the other as if they were hanging onto the one thing that would save them from drowning and it proved to be rather difficult for Elphaba to free her green limbs that were tangled with pale white ones when she woke up.
Her efforts didn't go unnoticed, but Glinda chose to pretend that she was still sleeping. Eyes squeezed shut, she listened to Elphaba dressing herself, knowing all too well that the dreaded click of the door closing would come far too soon.
Instead of thinking about the time she would have to spend without Elphaba - a time that could easily be the rest of her life – she forced herself to think of the previous night, recalling Elphaba's touches and the way they had made her feel.
When Elphaba leaned over her lover she found the shadow of a smile resting on Glinda's lips and felt a painful sting in her heart. She hated the thought of leaving the blonde, but there was no way they could be together. Not in a time like this and not when they were The Wicked Witch of the West and The Good Witch of the North.
Elphaba placed a soft kiss on the corner of Glinda's mouth and tucked a stray golden lock behind her ear. When the door closed behind her, Glinda opened her eyes and reached for her cheek, brushing away a tear that wasn't hers.
The End
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Epilogue
»As she strode through the forecourt of Colwen Grounds, she crossed paths once again with Glinda. For a moment their eyes met, sharing a sad, knowing smile before both women hurried their feet along their opposing ways. For the Witch, the sky was a huge boulder pressing down on her. For Glinda it was much the same. But Glinda turned and caught one last glimpse of the imposing black figure that was growing smaller in the distance.
"Oh Elphie!," she whispered. The Witch did not turn. They never saw each other again.«
