My Muses in: 'The Waiting Room'

Disclaimer: I can't believe I'm doing this but if I owned the WWE would I be writing this? I thought not. And I don't own Eminem, Fozzy, or sadly, NSYNC. I do own a bunch of issues of Teen People but the magazine itself. I do own Adrian, Goddess/Pharaoh of Malevolence owns herself. Trust me on that. By the way I own the Munchkins (they are no longer wizard of oz munchkins but munchkins with blue hair, pink nail polish, and funky looking sunglasses. Freaky? Yes.)

AN:/This is a story I 'm co-writing with Goddess of Malevolence one of my friends. She's changed her penname to Pharaoh of Malevolence but that's too bad because I refer to her as goddess. The flashback isn't that great or significant however, goddess of malevolence might want to read it. Now on to The Waiting Room.

Part 1: Jericho Enters 'The Walls of Malevolence'

The place is the offices of I.A. Empires where Goddess of Malevolence is typing away at the keyboard. Why? We may never know. (Hey, I didn't tell her to type anything!) Eminem is playing in the background. Otherwise, all is quiet until.......Bing! The elevator stops on the 13th floor and out steps everyone's favorite victim.......Chris Jericho! (Mwhahahahaha)

Jericho: [walks over to the desk and clears his throat]

Goddess of Malevolence continues to type.

Jericho: [clears throat again]

Without looking up, Goddess of Malevolence points to a sign on the desk. 'Please use the bell. Thank you'

Jericho: [rings bell]

Goddess of Malevolence: [still typing]

Jericho: [continuously rings bell]

5 minutes later..................................................

Goddess of Malevolence: [stops typing and turns head to the side] Can you be helped?

[Silence]

Jericho: I'm going to ignore that. I need to see Iccess please.

Goddess of Malevolence: Name?

Jericho: Chris Jericho

Goddess of Malevolence: You're not on the list.

Jericho: What do you mean I'm not on the list? Wait, what list?

Goddess of Malevolence: [pushes button on the intercom] Iccess?

Iccess: Yeah?

Goddess of Malevolence: I have Chris Jericho here in the Waiting Room (lightning strikes) and he's not on the list.

Iccess: Does he have an appointment?

**flashback** (wow, that's a first everybody!)

Goddess of Malevolence is sitting at her computer typing away at one of her Yu-Gi-Oh fics.

[Phone Rings]

Goddess of Malevolence: Hello?

Voice: Yes, I'd like to make an appointment to see Iccess-America for Wednesday at 11:25.

Goddess of Malevolence: Hold on let me find a pen. Okay shoot, you're wasting my precious time.

Suddenly the elevator stops on the 13th floor and out steps one of the Malevolent one's many husbands, David Blaine (I think that's how you spell it.)

David Blaine: Uh, hi.

Goddess: [Looks up at him in aw)

Blaine: I'm here to see Iccess-America. I don't know why but she called threatening to make my next stunt go horribly wrong if I didn't get here soon.

Goddess: [in a dreamy voice] She's not in her office but I'm free. Could you sign this? [Takes out marriage license that she hides under her desk just in case good fortune smiles upon her]

Blaine: [signs paper without looking] (nobody has ever said that magicians were smart just brave, dumb, frauds) I was looking for a place to eat around here. Do you perhaps know somewhere?

Goddess: [smile on her face] Sure.

So David Blaine and Goddess of Malevolence walk out of the office and to a quaint little café down the street.

Meanwhile..........

Chris Jericho: [On the phone] Hello? Hello? Do you know who I AM?! I'm the freakin' KING OF THE WORLD! (ranting goes on for the next 2 hours)

Operator: We're sorry, please hang up and dial again.

(Ranting continues and 6 minutes later)

Operator: What the hell don't you understand about HANG UP?! Nobody's been on the other line for the past two hours! You are nothing but a waste of space and oxygen! Goodbye! *click* *dial tone*

(I would suggest not staying on the phone past that first automated recording or the actual operator [maybe the machine] gets really nasty. Trust me)

**end flashback**

Goddess of Malevolence: Not to my recollection.

Jericho: [to Goddess of Malevolence] What do you mean?! I got cursed out by the freaking telephone operator because of you!

Iccess: I'm busy.

Jericho: What do you mean you're BUSY? With what?

Iccess: I mean what I said. I said I'm busy jackass! [Turns off intercom]

Jericho: [to Goddess of Malevolence] What am I supposed to do in a waiting room?

Goddess of Malevolence: It's a waiting room, hence the word "WAITING"

Jericho: I'll go read a magazine now.

2 hours later............................

Jericho is down to his last magazines.

Jericho: I don't get it. Justin Timberlake gets the front cover of Teen People. What does HE have that I don't?

Iccess: [Over intercom] do you REALLY want me to answer that?

Goddess: Besides, you've been on the cover Of WWE magazine 12 + times? (Don't know just guessing)

Jericho: It's not the same! I'm in a rock band....... [Freeze frame]

Adrian [comes from out of nowhere] Fozzy ROCKS! [Undoes freeze frame]

Jericho: and he's in a BOYBAND!

Iccess' door opens slightly and 5 voices say in unison.........

Voices: We aren't a BOYBAND! [Calmly] We prefer to be called a vocal group.

Door shuts.

Jericho: [Looks around the corner] she's been in a meeting with a [whispers] boy band for the past 2 HOURS?

Goddess of Malevolence: No, just the past five minutes.

Jericho: I've been waiting the past 2 and a half hours for a meeting and they get one in 5 minutes. When did they come in?

Goddess of Malevolence: While you were ever so engrossed in that article about yourself. There are rumors that she's working on a fic about them also.

Jericho: And she has no time to write a decent fic about me but instead puts me in her humor fics. And what do you mean rumors.

Goddess of Malevolence: Do you think she tells anyone anything? I didn't even know she had a private entrance until the NSYNC guys called.

Jericho: She has a PRIVATE entrance?!

Goddess of Malevolence: I've said too much already. [Goes back to typing]

Jericho gets a little enraged looking at magazines with Justin Timberlake's picture on them. So, he decides to go to the coffee machine.

1 hour or 15 large cups of coffee later.........................................

Jericho: [Approaching front desk] Bathroom?

Goddess of Malevolence: [Now reading fics of some kind or another]

Jericho: [starts to do the potty dance] Bathroom?!

Goddess of Malevolence: [still reading]

Jericho: [looks like he's going to explode and starts to ring the bell]

2 minutes later....................

Jericho is still ringing the bell.

Goddess of Malevolence: Did you want something?

Jericho: Bathroom?

Goddess of Malevolence: What's the magic word?

Jericho: [in pain] please?

Goddess of Malevolence: Good boy. [She hands Jericho the keys to the bathroom.] Consider it an act of mercy, though I don't think it'll help any.

Jericho takes off running toward the bathroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

30 minutes later Jericho's back and wearing a different outfit.

Jericho: Where's Iccess and the *air quotes* vocal group?

Goddess of Malevolence: They went to lunch. [Looks at Jericho] This reminds me of something said by a very wise man. [Clears throat] 'Friendship is like wetting your pants. Everyone can see it but only YOU can feel the warmth.

Jericho: [turns red] don't tell me she went to lunch and left me here with Psycho wench.

Goddess of Malevolence: That's MISS Psycho wench to you ass clown.

Jericho: SI!

Goddess of Malevolence: SHUT UP!

Jericho: I'm going to go crazy.

Goddess of Malevolence: Too late.

Jericho: I need to take a walk.

Goddess of Malevolence: While you're at it, take Mipsy and Juvenile Delinquent with you.

Jericho: [sarcastically] sure why not? It beats being bossed around by a 14 year old.

Goddess of Malevolence: Wanna bet? [Whistles]

Out walks Mipsy the vicious poodle and GM's horse Juvenile Delinquent.

Jericho: You want me to walk Mipsy and a HORSE?

Goddess of Malevolence: Yes. May I ask what is wrong with that?

Mipsy: [growl]

Goddess of Malevolence: Mipsy, sit.

Mipsy: [sits]

Jericho: I am NOT walking around with a HORSE.

Juvenile Delinquent: [bucking]

Goddess of Malevolence: Sit.

Juvenile Delinquent: [sits. On Jericho's foot.]

Jericho: [shouting obscenities]

KaibaslilDevil comes and duct tapes Jericho's legs, arms, and most importantly his mouth.

KaibaslilDevil: Welcome.

*Bing!* the elevator stops and the boss comes out.

Iccess: Hi all! [Stops] Jericho? You're still here? Well I'm about to go home and think about more story ideas. I can't meet with you until next spring. But here's a consolation prize.

Iccess throws a t-shirt on Jericho that says on the front: Don't be an assclown. And on the back it says: LIKE ME!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AN:// Sorry that took so long but as always I'm busy! So I hope you like part 1 of the waiting Room. In your review tell me who I should torture next. Also I'm replacing my secretary for KaibaslilDevil. Check out her fic My Constitution which I'm in! Warning: she adds on to the same doc. So skip previous writing until it says chapter 2, 3, etc. It's very funny! I should have a Triple H fic up soon this summer and more short humor. As far as this fic goes I have the writer's block virus and am stuck so give me suggestions. Thanks to Pharaoh of Malevolence again for being in my fic and I hope you're happy.

Anyone wants to be in a future fic just write me in your review.

I already have:

Bannonluke (at the top of my list I promise) KaibaslilDevil Tabby Sonar

READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!!! -_-