Title- Blood Stained
Chapter- 1- It is just the stress...
Rating- PG 13 (a couple uses of unflattering language)
Summary- Skye and the team try to move on from Ward's betrayal, but with Fitz still in a coma, Coulson trying to rebuild shield and Skye's deteriorating mental state, it has become difficult to go back to normal. Meanwhile shield is having trouble 'breaking' Ward.
So, i have been thinking about this a lot lately and really wanted to write it, but you know...writers block. I literally have this whiteboard that hangs next to my bed with like 30 specific scenes that i want in this story, and this chapter only has one of them, the rest is filler. So uh ya, please please please please critique the heel out of me. I want as much help as possible and I don't even care if it is a mean critique.
I don't blame him- not anymore at least. I told him I had a few skeletons in the closet. Everybody has skeletons. And that is normal. The problem was, he had more than I could ever believe. I find it ironic considering mine keep stacking up. He got what he wanted though. I was- am, I am-a monster.
And no, I don't mean the kind you look for under the bed or in a closet. I don't have teeth, or claws or any physical deformities.
I am the kind of monster that people shuffle their kids away from on the streets. I give off the essence of danger and fear. I am stained with the blood that people can't see but know is there. I scare myself sometimes. I'm not safe.
Ward never wanted to hurt me. He wanted someone who understood him. He realized too late it really wasn't what he thought it would be.
Yes he was damaged, but he could be fixed.
I can't.
I have come to terms with my problems, I just hope he can…
I hope the team forgives him like I was able to
I hope Fitz can trust him again….call him a friend again…
I hope he can forgive himself
I hope. I hope. I hope-
-that when I fall, and that when I'm gone, he is able to move on. He has enough stuff going on in his head, and this wasn't his fault. This was going to happen one way or another. He shouldn't blame himself. And though he'll never know. The last thing that crossed my mind, before I was swept away, was him.
I forgive you Ward
~THE PLAYGROUND, FOUR MONTHS EARLIER~
*thump thump*
"Skye, it's Trip. Open up."
A single tear fell down her cheek that she wiped away before sliding the door open. A snarky smile painted her face and she tilted her head. "What do ya need?"
He could see right past her, "You've been watching the tapes again, haven't you?"
Her smile dropped and he followed her eyes towards her laptop.
"Skye, no matter how many times you watch it, it is never going to change."
"You don't think I know that?"
Her answer wasn't good enough.
She tried again.
"-he betrayed us. He made fools of us. HE ALMOST KILLED FITZ!" Her eyes began burning holes through him.
Maybe that would shut him up. Fitz hit a soft spot in everyone.
He motioned for her to scoot over and sat next to her.
Dang, still wasn't good enough.
"I think- although you know it won't change- you still don't know...how... it happened. Do you get my drift?"
"No Trip, I don't." She rested her elbows on her knees and rubbed her temples.
"You aren't sure how…. or why he could throw his friends to their deaths-,"
Nice answer Trip, you are worse than Ward at this stuff.
"-after saving them so many times before. And…You don't know how he could betray someone as great and kind as Coulson, for someone as cold as Garret. How he could get past May so easily. Or how he could care for someone so much, only to break her hea-"
"Stop."
He hit a nerve and he knows it, "I'm sorry Skye. I know this is hard. But watching him push Fitz and Jemma out of the bus so many times, it- won't change why he did it." His head nodded towards the video file open on her laptop.
This time he was right. But she could never admit it.
She had watched it countless times. Each the same.
Fitz screamed and screamed, and although she couldn't hear what Jemma was saying she could only imagine the words coming from her mouth. 'Give it up Fitz. We don't mean anything to him. We are just his mission.'
Skye tried so hard to find any pity in his eyes. Any mercy. Anything at all that could make him any less of a monster. She kept thinking maybe…. Maybe, they had missed something. Maybe, he thought it would float. Maybe, there was someone holding a gun to him just out of view. Maybe, they had someone he loved, like all the others in the incentives program, Maybe-
But there was nothing-
"I know you care about us Ward!" Fitz screamed it in his sleep.
-Ward would push eject. Watch them fall. And walk away.
No excuses for you Ward. You've been a bad little soldier, and you are going to the fridge for your crimes.
She wondered how long she sat there dazed, staring at the floor, before Trip spoke up.
"How have you been sleeping?"
She just stared at the ground.
"I mean, have 'they' gotten worse?"
"No, they are getting better" That was a lie. The floor was so much more appealing than this conversation.
"Ok well I guess that is good, I'm going to go check on Jemma, I expect to see you at dinner"
She really needed to sweep or something.
"Skye? Are you listening?"
"Ya mom,I'm listening" Another lie
He rolled his eyes and left her alone with her thoughts.
'They', were not getting better, It had been the same dream every night. Well, at least since they got back from Cybertek a month ago.
She was running through a jungle. Her hands were stained with blood. Where did all this blood come from? She wasn't bleeding….
Ahead of her Coulson, May, and Trip, continued on and behind her…was someone following them?
Well of course dummy, why else would Coulson be running?
One second she was carving her way down the trail and the next she was face down on the ground eating dirt.
She must've tripped over a stump. Stupid stump.
The footsteps got closer behind her and defense mode kicked in. She shot back up ready to defend herself against the supposed enemy force.
Trees. Just trees.
She could have sworn there was someone only a few paces behind her.
No, just trees.
"Guys, you can stop running, I think we lost-….Guys?"
She turned around to see how far the team had gotten ahead of her, but was instead greeted by a cliff-side.
I could have sworn that wasn't there before.
"MAY?"
"Trip!?"
"AC!?"
"GUYS!?"
"….Where are you?"
Her shouts only echoed back.
They wouldn't just leave her. Would they?
Skye slowly edged over to the tree line and looked around.
Oh great a bridge….and old bridge…maybe they went this way?
Was this way even safe?
The bridge was made of old tattered rope and was missing a couple of the wooden panels. Across it the stone was lined with vines and the jungle continued to the edge, some of the roots could even be seen through the Cliffside. It was at least 50 yards to the other side and 200 to the rugged water roaring below.
She walked to the edge and peered down.
That would be a rough fall.
The team couldn't have gone anywhere else, there was nowhere else to go.
Her right foot stuck out to test the first panel and although the creak made her stomach churn, it seemed strong enough to hold her weight.
Well it held Trip's weight didn't it?
She continued slowly until she reached the middle of the bridge.
*crack*
Shit. No.
The board beneath her broke began to crack
Don't move Skye, don't m-"
*crack*
The old panel cracked in half taking her with it.
Leaving her now hanging, one handed, onto a slowly unwinding rope.
"No come on please"
*snap*
A short scream filled her lungs before a hand came down to grab her arm.
"…Ward?"
He was crouched over the broken board hanging on to one of the support ropes with his other hand clinging to her forearm.
"Haha, ya sweetheart?"
Sweetheart? "What are you doing here?-" Her hand began sliding down his forearm "-haha yeah, actually never mind that, pull me up please?"
He laughed a little more and turned his head towards the jungle trying to hide the expression on his face ," I can't do that Skye"
A panicked gasp came out as her arm slowly began to slip from his hand. "Ward please! This isn't funny!"
He turned back to look down at her and flashed a cocky grin on his face. "Who said I was joking"
…was he serious?- he can't still be….loyal
"Garret is dead!"
His hand slid more so he was only gripping her wrist now.
"YOU SAID YOU WOULD NEVER HURT ME! GRANT PLEASE!"
His face was cold now. "I lied"
And he released her. ~~~
At this point in the dream she would jolt up in her bed with panicked gasps, and after she calmed herself she would lay back down on her now sweaty sheets and play on her phone till she fell asleep again, but after the first week passed by, it got worse. Not really 'worse'. It just seemed to get more…real.
Trip would wake from her screams and humble old him would come to the rescue.
He would bring her water, ask her if she wanted to talk, even though she always refused, and sit in the corner chair until she fell asleep again. It was more than she would ask for, but she was appreciative.
After the first time Skye made him promise not to tell Coulson, and he didn't.
She figured if AC ever knew, he would have her sleep in the med pod next to Fitz with constant surveillance if she was having any issues.
She tried not to worry much about the dreams though. She had been through hell, and there were worse problems, there was Fitz.
She told herself every night, "It was only stress.
Get some rest Skye, it will be over soon."
~CLASSIFIED LOCATION (LEVEL 8 CLEARANCE ONLY)~
"We are going to ask you questions nicely now. If you answer them truthfully, we will get along just fine. But if you choose not to answer, this nice agent in the corner is going to break your pinky finger" She motioned to the smug looking guy standing in the dark. "Understand?"
"How thoughtful of you" He smiled mockingly.
The agent standing before him rolled her eyes. She was average height, small build, had dark skin, hair and eyes. And looked like she hadn't had any kind of intimate relation in years.
The ugly scar on her cheek was probably part of the reason.
Or maybe it was the dull lifeless look in her eyes. She was probably no fun at parties.
"Do you have any questions for us?"
There was a small pause before he sat up in his chair leaning forward as far as his handcuffs would let him.
"uh, ya actually. Why is this guy wearing sun glasses inside? Only blind people and douchebags do that, so which is it?"
The only sign she gave that she was listening was the agitated twitch of her nose.
A snug smile filtered his face and hid the bags under his eyes. "Well I'm putting my money on douchebag. I know they hired Fury, but I don't think they would let blind people fight crime and kill and all that other fun stuff."
His smile grew deeper and he leaned back in his chair and shrugged his shoulders. "Am I right or am I right?"
"Question one."
"I'll take that as a yes"
"We found your family records, military paperwork, and even everything on your time in prison. We also have your enrollment papers at the Academy. –but, we seem to be missing 5 years of your life before you joined the academy. "
"and the question, agent…?"
"-Anderson, agent Anderson. Our question is, Mr. Ward, what happened in those 5 years. Where were you?"
"What happened to 'agent' Ward? 'Mr. Ward' makes we sound old"
"You lost that title when you betrayed Shield."
Betrayed was such a harsh word.
"I was Hydra first, technically I never betrayed you, I just played you"
The word stung coming off of his tongue but he chose to ignore it.
"I thought you weren't involved in Hydra, only with Garret"
"Well ya, but same difference."
"So where were you?"
"I don't know, where were you?"
"Mr. Ward, you are avoiding the question"
"I'm sorry I forgot, what was it again?"
She was getting frustrated. "Where were you in those five missing years?"
He didn't answer. He was done being snarky, now he just wanted to avoid his surroundings completely; camouflage his mind; do what they taught him at operations. Interrogation 101.
"We have come to assume, this missing period of time, is when you were corrupted by former Agent Garret. Would you care to elaborate on our suspicions?...Mr. Ward?"
He wasn't corrupted by Garret, he had always been a bad person.
"Mr. Ward you have 5 seconds to cooperate."
Well, not always. Maynard made him a bad person.
"…5-"
Garret only fueled his fire-
"-4"
Gave him a reason to live-
"-3" The agent in the corner began walking towards him.
He owed Garret
"-2"
Or else he would have never betrayed Skye
"1"
There is that word again, 'betrayed'
*snap*
