Destroyed
It destroys a girl to see her fish die when she's 4 years old.
It destroys a girl to see her parents die in a car accident when she's 6 years old.
It destroys a girl to see her grandfather who raised her die because of a heart attack at 9 years old.
It destroyed her, it destroyed Addison Forbes Montgomery all the time, everywhere, whatever she did.
She wonders what she has done to deserve this, she wonders when it's her time to be happy, she wonders when it got so hard to get up in the morning and get through the day, pretending to be alive when every time someone let her live again, they destroyed her.
Addison was 4 when she came home from kindergarten to see her fish death in its bowl.
The first time she met death, not knowing that they'd meet many times in the future
When she was 6 years old she and her parents drove to McDonalds. It didn't matters that her father could afford any fancy restaurant all over the world if she wanted McDonalds they'd go to McDonalds. But on the way back a drunk driver hit their car
Then it turned all black till her grandfather was there to pick up the pieces to glue them together.
She learned to live with it, but it still hurt everyday. Everyday she sneaked into her parents bedroom and tried on her mothers dresses, picturing how she'd look in it if she's still be there.
It was summer and the sun was already going down, leaving an orange sky when Addison and her grandfather stood in his garden,
searching in the apple trees for the perfect apple.
"Can't you just pick an apple grandpa? I have to go to the bathroom!''
"Almost sweetheart see this is not just any apple this is 'the' apple.''
"All the apples are the same you silly.''
"Yes they are except for this one trust me.'' He said with a wink.
"It better be cause were already searching since 7 am.''
"Aahh here it is.'' He said picking an apple from the tree climbing down the ladder. "Now tell me princess is this any ordinary apple?''
She closely examined the apple. It did look like an ordinary apple, maybe just a little redder then the other ones but nothing special.
"I don't know." She lied, she didn't want to break his heart. He just grinned handing out the apple and she looked up confused
"What do you want me to do with it?"
"Well take a bite and tell me if it's truly 'the' apple!"
"Well how do I know it's 'the' apple?"
"That's exactly what your mother asked me when I first took her here."
"What did you answer?" She asked softly, her voice filled with sadness at the thought that her mother has been here too.
"I told her that she would know if she just took a bite."
Hesitantly Addison took a bite, afraid that she wouldn't know and would let her grandfather down if she told him. "It's 'the' apple grandpa!" She said happily after biting it.
"Are you sure pumpkin?"
"Yes! I'm sure!" Handing out the apple to her grandfather mentioning to him to find out for himself.
"No sweetie this is your apple I already had my special apple."
"You did?"
"Yes I did and you have to promise me one thing."
"What's that?"
"You have to promise me that when you have children yourself you take them here and let them taste their own special apple."
"I will grandpa I promise."
"Okay." He said, feeling happy and sad at the same time when he thought back at the day when he let his daughter promise to take Addie here to find her apple too.
That night in her bed Addison looked back at the day and thought life would never get any better than this. And I was right she thought a few days later, leaning down to put the rose and a picture of an apple on her grandfathers coffin before he sank down to the hole in the ground.
It was a hot summer night when Addison, Mark and Derek lay on the floor in the hospital hall drowned in their own sweat complaining about everything that past their minds.
"I'm so depressed."
"Why Mark was the girl you picked up yesterday a transvestite?"
"Derek."
"I'm so tired." Addison said on the background more talking to herself then her to friends.
"Oh I wasn't kidding Mark, with you, you never can be sure."
"Oh once Derek once and I was drunk, I didn't have a clear view!"
"It's so warm!" Addison whined again.
"Yeah right Mark, it was a woman with a very low voice and an adams apple!'' Then remembering Addison was in the room. "And what are you talking about we just ate a couple of hours ago and it's 3.30 in the morning.''
"Whatever I'm so hot.''
"Oh really?'' Derek said with a mischievous grin on his face. "That's funny cause,''
"Oh Shep I really don't want to hear this." Mark said quickly covering his ears
"Oh shut up, I'm going to get something to eat and I'm going to search for new friends.''
"Aww Mark look, she does love us!''
"Bite me Shepherd.'' She said walking away from Mark and Derek
"Anytime." He smirked getting a death glare from her.
"God just tell her you like her!" Mark said when Addison was out of sight, frustrated throwing his hands in the air.
"No, no I can't I mean we have been friends since med school and I just…"
"You want me to finish your lines or what? Cause I'm not your girlfriend." This was so typically Mark one moment you're having a good conversation and the next he's talking about hot girls, sex or both. "And neither is she, except if you told her."
"What, what am I suppose to say? Oh hi Addie can you hand me scalpel nr. 4, by the way I'm secretly in love with you since the day I met you…" He suddenly stopped talking when he looked at a laughing Mark.
"Do you think this is funny Mark?"
"No but by the look on her face says she doesn't either." Mark was able to say, laughing so hard that his stomach was hurting. Derek looked back to see who he was mentioning to see his worst scenario standing behind him.
"Addison, what are you…" He wondered how he could get out of this one. "I thought you were searching for new friends." Putting on an awkward smile trying to change the subject.
Oh My God. He just said to me he loved me and now he acts like nothing happened. Well he didn't exactly say I love you Addison but he said it. he said that he loved me. What am I going to say? Am I going to pretend that it didn't happened or am I going to let him know what I really feel?
"Derek…"
"Addie, I'm sorry really it's not like I planned it… please let's just forget it and please, please don't let this destroy our friendship."
"It will Derek." She said softly not sure how to manage to tell him.
"Will what Addie?" he sounded more afraid then he wanted to but couldn't hide it.
"Destroy our friendship…"
"Oh..." Derek felt like his heart sank in his shoes and he was afraid he was going to cry.
"Because I love you too Derek…" Her voice insecure and full of expecting.
Did she just say that? She just said I love you too Derek or did I just thought that?
"Huh what?"
She didn't say that right? It must be the heat or something…
"I said I felt the same… I was scared to tell you too…"
"Really? I had no idea!" Derek spoke, partly relieved that she felt the same and partly also pretty excited about that fact.
"I know I had no idea you did too…''
"Yeah right like it wasn't obvious!''
"Not true, your pretty good at hiding stuff for me shepherd.''
"Oh come on even Mark found out!''
They were both laughing at this point about their own silliness.
"Don't ever hide it Derek..'' Addison said on a serious tone
"Hide what Addles?''
"That you uhm.. you know like me…more than friends..''
"You mean that I love you?'' Derek spoke laughing at that she wasn't quite sure to say love me.
"Uh yeah I meant that.''
"Your blushing.''
"Am not!'' Her face even getting redder at that.
"Yes you are and I think it's cute.''
Addison's heart skipped a beat hearing him call her cute.
"So uh.. what are we going to do?''
"What do you mean?'' She said, not quite sure what he had meant.
"Well you know about us I mean we like each other right?''
"I think we just said that right?'' She said with a small smile.
"Well uh can I call you sometime or something?''
He looks so cute when he's shy like that.
"Call me sometime?'' She said laughing.
"Ok that was stupid… I meant you know…like going on a date.''
"I don't know you should ask...''
He smiled at her this is exactly what he loved her for she always tried to be a smart ass.
"Okay, maybe I should.''
"So?...''
"So?''
"Well are you going to ask me out or not?''
"Oh you meant right now?"
"No I meant years later when I'm married to some guy and have children!'' she spoke sarcastically leaning closer to him while he stood up.
"Now that would be a bad thing.'' He said seductively, a grin on his face.
"Uhuh.'' She nodded.
"So Addles, do you want to go on a date with me like tomorrow after our shifts?''
"Yes, I thought you'd never ask."
They both laughed.
"And Derek..."
"Yes?"
"Don't call me Addles." She said laughing
"Okay Dr. Addles."
"Shut up."
They both stopped laughing and leaned in closer when Derek captured her lips. It was a sweet kiss hesitantly first but grew more passionate. It felt like the most right thing to do, like it never have been different, not routine but like it was always suppose to be this way. When they finally broke off the kiss after what felt like ages ago but still too soon they both stared in each others eyes, both filled with pure love only.
"Addles?"
"Derek?"
"I want you to know I love you, so much."
"I love you too."
"For always."
"Yeah for ever."
This time it was destroy of a friendship.
But destroy may not always be a bad thing.
Destroy also means a new beginning.
Like the beginning of a love that has always been there which you may have never noticed before.
The End.
