a/n: Beware…it has major angst. Otherwise happy reading!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything involving Harry Potter. How sad.

By The Light Of Dying Stars

Chapter One

Their relationship was defined, and at the same time obscured, by the tingle of his fingers brushing against her arm. By the quick longing glances from across the rooms. The bickering, the angry yelling, the exasperated sighs...all were simple, yet severely complicated ways for them to both show the love they were so afraid to admit to each other existed...

...and time was quickly running out...

Pieces of parchment floated down from the sky like feathers and quietly littered the ground. Broken ink bottles lay haphazardly across ink sodden quills. Hermione knelt on the floor staring at the intricate patterns the veins in the stones made. She angrily wiped the lone tear that traveled down her rosy cheek. "Perfect!" She sniffed loudly and blew out a long shaky breath, blowing a stray curl from her face, and started gathering her things.

The old stones whispered to her about times much less complicated than those she faced now. The cracks and the veins started forming pictures and memories, swirling around like a cloud trying to comfort her in the darkness and then slowly start to suffocate her with thoughts of what might come to pass very soon. Hermione grabbed one of her magical defense books and shook her head, trying to dislodge the thoughts that circled there. She didn't like it. She loathed uncertainty and that's all the last few months have been. She would wake up and take a look at the Daily Prophet to see who else had been attacked and then go bury herself in the books she had read over and over again, looking so hard for something she might have missed. She tried everything to stay one step ahead of Voldemort, but always ended up being two steps behind. It was starting to wear her down.

She would spend days holed up in her room with dozens of books opened to random pages and a quill shoved through her mess of curls. When everyone thought she was reading she was curled up in a corner sobbing over losses she couldn't even explain yet. She would sit there for hours with her arms wrapped around herself hoping that everything would stop breaking...peoples' lives, peoples' hope, peoples' hearts. But then as quickly as her break down started she ran out of tears and composed herself, read a little more then returned to the real world, never letting anybody know about the storm that raged within her.

"Hermione?" She let out a startled gasp and turned to see a freckled young man staring down at her with a peculiar look on his face.

"Ron! You startled me," She quickly looked down and took an odd interest in the way her fingernails looked.

"Are you okay? Do you need help with anything?" He motioned towards the last bits of parchment on the floor. He knelt down to help gather them up and furrowed his brow noticing a few stray tears float down Hermione's cheek. She sat there lamely when he slowly reached towards her and cupped her face, his thumb grazing along her tear stained cheek. She closed her eyes, leaning into the touch she had longed for, for so long, that slightest hint that something was there besides friendship...something that she could grab onto, keeping her from giving in to her worst fears, keeping her sane. The tears were falling unchecked now.

"Hermione, are you...I," As if she woke up from a trance, she shrugged away from Ron's touch and quickly gathered the rest of her things in one giant swoop. She furiously wiped at her eyes.

"I just remembered, there's somewhere I-I have to be. Professor McGonagall i-is expecting me. Sorry. I'll, erm, I'll see you later then!" And as the last word came out she disappeared around the corner, leaving the disappointed freckled face hanging his head, the sound of her departure still echoing in the empty halls of Hogwarts, his heart breaking just a little more.

It had been like that for weeks now, stolen moments darkened within minutes by a sudden change of mood, a sudden realization that someone might feel differently. Harry shook his head and turned the corner and saw Ginny's fierce blue eyes go from expectant to a mix of frustration and sadness.

"Harry, we have to do something. It's ridiculous!" She threw her arms up in the air intent on making some great exclamation that would change the course of history, but instead let them drop limply to her sides and groaned in exasperation. "It just doesn't seem right sitting back and waiting for something to happen during," she paused rethinking her words, "They're running out of time." She let the words die slowly with meanings attached to them that neither wanted to confront just yet.

They walked hand in hand for a while, contemplating their own thoughts. After a few moments Harry brought her around into a tight hug. He sighed into her shoulder and breathed in the flowery scent of her hair. He pulled away slightly and gave her a light kiss on the nose.

"They'll figure it out, Gin. They're bound to. Just give it a little while. Something will happen that will miraculously bring them to their senses and it will be the grandest thing ever. I'm sure there will even be fireworks shooting off." He said the last with such a fierce smile that she believed him for a moment before a horrible thought set in her mind darkening her eyes and glazing them with unshed tears.

"Oh Merlin!"

"Gin?"

"Oh! What if they do realize too late, Harry? The final battle could happen any day! What if...what if one of them..." She couldn't bear it. The enormity of the thought nearly undid her and would have if Harry hadn't reached for the sides of her face, forcing her back into reality.

"Ginny, listen to me." She sniffed and bit her lip. "It'll all work out. They have come too far for things to turn out so badly. We all have. I have faith in the two of them. Sooner or later they'll listen to that nagging voice they hear so often inside their hearts. It'll be okay." She nodded, accepting his explanation and then nearly threw herself into him, holding on like he was the very breath in her.

They broke apart soon after and he took her by the hand once again and led her back to the common room where so many innocent memories were concealed, thinking to himself that she might be right.

Harry wasn't one to dwell on the bad side of a situation. None of them were, truth be told. But in the last year, especially in the last few months, they all had been stretched beyond their physical and emotional limit. They were functioning on pure strength of will alone, and that seemed to be waning as well. Everyone was ready for this war to be over with. They were tired of the gloom suffocating the country, tired of always looking over their shoulders, tired of seeing the Dark Mark hovering over houses and the dead lifeless eyes that lay beneath it.

Thankfully, it was almost time for him to end it. The horcruxes had been destroyed. Only a few casualties came from those obstacles, mostly aurors from the ministry who were smart enough not to listen to a word from Scrimgeour. Sadly, those deaths didn't phase him as much as they would have only a year before...he was numb. He filed those names and faces away in a dark corner of his mind, promising to grieve for them after this whole ordeal was over with. It might not seem like the smartest thing to do, but he knew if he took time now, it would break him.

The other casualty was Percy.

Harry was broken from his thoughts when Ginny muttered the password and the portrait swung open allowing them into the common room. It was the closest thing to security they had, feeling that only a few people were permitted in this part of the castle. Even though it might not be true some still clung to it.

Ron was miserable, but only when he was in the company of himself, when it was harder to hide from truths. He had loved Hermione for years, he fell for her before he even knew what was going on. But that warm feeling was there every time he saw her, and then the crushing feeling was back when she would walk away, hiding behind her books, pretending everything was ok with her. She had been avoiding him for weeks, avoiding everybody actually. Then he saw her on the ground, picking up the spilled contents of her bag, cursing under her breath, it was his chance to finally say something. He had wiped her tears away and almost said it when she suddenly turned and ran away. She ran away from him. There was no meeting with McGonagall, she was always horrible at lying.

He had stayed in that same spot for nearly an hour watching the shadows of the misty clouds travel across the wall, mocking him. "You fool," they would say in a sing song voice, "You've done it again. Always letting her get away. Never going after her. Fool. Fool. Fool." On and on they went until finally he swiftly turned to leave, unable to take the torment.

He wasn't a fool, regardless of what people might think or what his mind told him. Sure he might have had plenty of opportunities to tell Hermione everything…to just pour his entire heart out to her. But it was all very complicated. Some things lead to other things, which twist back to other areas and it would take hours to tell her everything. They would end up accusing each other of nonsense that never happened and then yell at each other, it was they way they always communicated. And what if she didn't love him… He thought back to the tears, the look in her eyes, the sadness mixed with hope…the excuses he had been making for himself. He stopped as he rounded a corner.

"Bugger. I am a fool." It was time to do something about it, even if she didn't want to hear it.

"Mama, no. I can't come back yet. You know that. How many times do we have to go through this?" Hermione raked a hand through her hair, exasperated. Every time she came home to get another book she might have missed, or say hello to the parents she knew she was slipping away from and tell them how much she loved them, they had this argument.

"Hermione Jane Granger!" Out of habit as a child, she flinched at the sound of her middle name. "You can't just go parading off to find some evil wizard and destroy him like it's a fairytale! It doesn't work that way! From what you have told me it seems like everything in the world is against you when it comes to defeating this thing. Just because you were invited into their world doesn't mean you have to risk your life because of it! Just think about it the odds, Hermione! There are risks, consequences you need to consider!"

"You think I don't know that!" She was becoming frantic now. Her already crumbling walls breaking under the stress she worked so hard to hide from everybody she had to be strong for. "I wake up everyday and think about them, mama. I think about who might be killed, who might survive, who might be tortured so badly that they'll never ever be able to find their way back to their mind. I've lived more horrors than most people in the entire world have ever had nightmares about and it kills me!" She took a deep breath to steady herself, but it didn't work. "I chose this remember? Sure I may not have known about any of it going in, but I chose it...and I wouldn't change that decision for all the safety in the world. In a few days my best friends are going to be battling to darkest wizard of our time and I have to be there to help them. I have to take care of them. If anything happened I wouldn't be able to forgive myself," she thought for a moment. "If I let them down, I couldn't bear it. I would burrow so far inside myself that I might as well be dead. Mama, I can't abandon them, not now. They need me..." She walked over to her mother, wiped the tears off her face and wrapped her arms around her. "It'll be alright. I promise. I've beaten the odds so far, I think I can beat them one more time. I have to." She gave her mother a sad smile.

"Do you want some tea?" her mother asked out of habit.

"Please."

An hour later Hermione stood at the end of the brick walkway leading up to her humble childhood home. She waved goodbye to her mother and father who stood in the doorway, husband's arms wrapped comfortingly around his wife.

"I love you both!"

"We love you, too, darling! Please be safe and come back to us!"

She blew them a kiss and turned. She heard her mother's choked sob right as she disapparated.

"Harry! Ginny!" Ron burst into the common room out of breath. "Have you seen Hermione? I've looked everywhere. The library, classrooms…I really have to talk to her, but I can't find her anywhere." Harry and Ginny exchanged knowing glances.

"I actually haven't seen her all day." Harry glanced over at Ron who was wringing his hands nervously and biting his fingernails. "Gin, can you go check her room?"

"Sure." Ginny ran towards the stairs, her red hair flying behind her as she disappeared around a corner. A few moments later she came back down. "She's not up there, guys." Ron's face fell.

"Maybe she went to go visit her Mum and Dad," Harry offered, "which means Hagrid would have seen her. She might be there right now." He looked at Ron who was nodding in agreement, but a look of doubt clouded his eyes.

"Let's go." The trio walked out into the deserted corridor. Harry grimaced, rubbing his scar. It throbbed more than usual. Something wasn't right. He could feel it in the pit of his stomach. The silence was overbearing. Their footfalls echoed loudly against the old walls. The only other sound came from the portraits as they bowed their heads in respect when they passed, offering small words of encouragement. They had been doing that for months now, ever since the Order had moved to Hogwarts after the closing of the school. To be honest, Harry was sick of hearing them, but the others needed it so he just tuned them out.

They turned towards the stairs and saw Remus Lupin walking towards them. His robes were ratty and his eyes were tired, haunted. He approached them slowly, a grave look on his weathered face.

"Ginny, Ron, Harry," He looked at each one of them and placed a hand on Harry's shoulder. "I'm afraid there's been another attack."

No. Something definitely wasn't right.

It was late afternoon when Hermione apparated just outside of Hogsmeade. She pulled her cloak closer around her, cursing the odd June weather under her breath, and started towards the gate to Hogwarts. She looked off into the blue gray fog towards the direction of the castle. The mist was like a Siren, luring her into their visions, showing her beginnings, middles, ends… It was the ends that frightened her, the uncertainty hidden in each small illusion.

She took a deep breath. "Now's not the time to fall apart," she chided herself, "I think I've done that enough for one day…" She continued walking, trying to force happy thoughts into her head when she suddenly felt like she was being watched. The hairs on the back of her neck were standing up. She stopped for a second and looked around, turning a slow circle and removing her wand from a pocket sewn into the inside of her cloak. She scanned the area as much as the fog would allow but didn't see anything moving besides the swirling of thick clouds. There was nothing. Turning back towards the castle, she laughed nervously, deciding her nerves must be getting the better of her.

Snap! Hermione turned quickly towards the sound. Her wand was withdrawn fully now. Somebody was out there…

"Hello?" The silence was suffocating her as she strained to listen for any sign of life beyond the shroud of fog. She still couldn't find anything. The Sirens might still be playing tricks on her. She started to back up towards the gates, wand still drawn. She would be safer on the other side…she hoped.

She started to walk a little faster, almost able to see the outline of the gates ahead. She muttered the Patronus Charm under her breath to alert somebody that she was out there, then heard the sound of gravel shifting under the weight of somebody else, the person who was watching her.

Hermione whipped around. This time the stranger did nothing to hide himself, instead started towards her. She ran towards the gates and slammed into them at full speed, hoping they would somehow be open.

"Hagrid!" she screamed frantically. He was nowhere and the stranger was getting closer. Strong arms wrapped around her body pushing her painfully against the gate. Her wand was forced from her hand. She screamed louder than she had ever screamed right before a rough hand was clamped tightly over her mouth.

"RON!"

Harry, Ron, and Ginny ran towards Hagrid's hut, hoping against everything that Hermione would be there. The fog was thick. It hid secrets in the swirling mist, feeding the doubts and fears inside their minds. They clamored down the stone steps, each stride more frantic than the first. Before they had even reached the giant's doorway, Ron was calling for him.

"Hagrid! Hagrid!" He started pounding on the door. A few moments later there was some clanging and a few crashes followed by a muttered curse or two, then the door flew opened and a grizzly face peaked out.

"What's the matter you three?" He caught his breath.

"Hagrid! Have you seen Hermione?" Ginny was the one who spoke first. Her brother was doubled over catching his breath. Hagrid didn't look too worried.

"Yeh, I seen her ta the gate a while ago. Said she had ta go see her Mum. Said she would be back in a couple 'o hours." The trio looked at each other, none of their minds eased by this news. Then a silvery object appeared in the fog, heading towards the group. Moments later the object took the shape as an otter. "An that'd be Hermione. Right on time might I add." The giant lumbered down the steps and headed towards the path leading to the gates. Harry and Ginny visibly relaxed, but Ron still seemed a little on edge.

Then they heard the scream.

They cocked their heads to the side, thinking they might have been hearing things. The group started walking a little faster down the path, the fog suffocating them, keeping them on edge more than usual. Then they heard it, Hermione's frantic scream for Ron. They ran faster than they ever thought possible towards the gates of Hogwarts. Ron ahead of the group, adrenalin coursing through him.

For a moment, Hermione forgot everything she had ever read, everything she had ever been taught, and every single DA meeting. She just struggled under the grip of her captor, unable to break free. She bit down hard on the hand that covered her mouth, drawing blood. Its owner howled in fury, or pain, she couldn't tell, whipped her around and backhanded her across the face, sending her falling to the ground from the force of the blow. She landed right next to her wand.

"Bitch!" It was a voice that sounded familiar. In the struggle his hood came down revealing the pale drawn face of Draco Malfoy. His silvery eyes were wide with rage. He raised his wand, "Crucio!"

The pain was unbearable. Hermione wrapped her arms around her stomach, screaming in agony. It felt like her skin was being ripped off. He let his arm up and the pain stopped. She was gasping for breath, her lungs burning, tears falling down her face. Draco strode over towards her angrily, his eyes searing through her. She slowly backed away, her skin scraping against the rocks of the path. He laughed. He didn't notice her grab onto her wand.

"What's this? Trying to get away?" He reached down and roughly grabbed her arm, hauling her to her feet, taking the wand and throwing off in the grass. She inhaled sharply at the pain, the after effects of the curse still running coarsely through her. He wrapped his hand around her neck.

"Hermione!" Her eyes widened, her heart sped up, and a small glimmer of hope bloomed in her chest when she saw Ron from the corner of her eye standing on this side of the gate. Harry and Ginny were not far behind. Ron pulled his wand out.

"Not so fast, Weasley! You forget who has the upper hand!" The hand around her throat tightened and lifted, forcing her to stand on the tips of her toes. Her breaths came in short painful gasps. Draco laughed again, an evil maniacal sound that traveled through his arm into Hermione. Her vision was becoming cloudy.

"If you come any closer I will kill her."

"Let her go, Malfoy!" It was Harry who spoke, taking a dangerous step towards them.

Draco lifted her a little farther. She brought her hand up and gripped his arm, trying to put all her weight there and not on her throat where it was becoming harder to breathe. She held on tight for a few moments, then her grip slackened. Blackness rimmed her vision, she could no longer see Ron.

"Drop your wands now, all of you!" They obeyed, unable to sacrifice Hermione. Draco looked at her, dropped her back down fully onto her feet but kept hold of her throat. He twisted her around so she could see her friends, desperation and helplessness covering their faces. His arm tightened around her, forcing her against his body, a large twisted smile on his face. He still had hold of her neck. He lowered his head and inhaled the scent of her hair. He made her sick.

Even from where she was she could feel the rage burning off of Ron. She tried to pull away from Draco, his hold on her just tightened more. He laughed again. She was going to die here. She would never get to tell Ron how much she loved him. A choked sob escaped her throat. Ron twitched.

"You know," Draco leaned down close to her ear. "I wonder if he's feeling the same way your father felt," he inhaled again and chuckled, "when he watched your mother die?" Her eyes widened. This couldn't be! She was just saw them…

"NO!" She screamed furiously, using every ounce of strength she had to break away from him. She elbowed him, stepped on his foot, twisted and turned until she finally wrenched herself free. Draco made another grab for her but she dived out of the way in time, sending him falling to the ground. Harry, Ron, and Ginny grabbed their wands as Hagrid came out of nowhere.

"What's goin' on?! Is that…is that Draco Malfoy?!" Hermione climbed to her knees and sat there looking lost. Draco still lay sprawled on the ground. Ron frantically ran towards her then Draco's arm shot out from under him and grabbed her ankle, sending her tumbling hard to the ground. She scrambled away from him.

"Hermione, get down!" She crouched down and covered her head.

"EXPELLIARMUS!"

"STUPEFY!"

"INCACEROUS!"

Draco got to his feet in time for all three curses to hit him simultaneously. He fell to the ground with a thud, unconscious, his wand launched somewhere off to the right, and thin red cords wrapped around his body. Ron ran over to Hermione, threw his arms around her and let out the breath he had been holding since he first heard her scream.

"Merlin! Will someone, please tell me what the bloody hell happened?" Ginny looked at Hagrid. He was breathing heavy, his large eyes were wide with shock. She related the events back to him, his eyes managing to get wider as the tale went on. Harry was over checking on Malfoy, making sure he wouldn't be going anywhere.

"Hermione…are you…are you ok?" She looked into Ron's eyes, not really seeing him. He pulled her to him again, closing his eyes with relief. He smoothed his hand through her hair, chanting over and over in his head, "She's ok. She's ok." He let out another deep breath.

"Hermione, I-I…there's something I need…" She inhaled sharply and began shaking her head furiously.

" Mama!?" She began shaking. "Ron, let me go." She pushed herself away from him, but he was reluctant to break the contact. "Please. Please, Ron. Let me go!" He finally let go as she quickly got to her hands and knees. Her eyes were wide and terrified, she looked frantically for her wand. She found it a few feet away, grabbed it and got to her feet.

"Hermione, what's wrong?" She looked at Ron, startled, as if remembering he was there, then looked over at Malfoy with more hatred and anguish than he ever thought he could see in one person's eyes. Her chin quivered.

"I-I have to go." And with that she apparated.

"Hermione!" Harry and Ginny looked towards Ron, who was still seated on the ground, staring at the empty space where Hermione just was.

"Hagrid, take Malfoy to the castle. Give him to the aurors, but don't let them do anything until I get back." Hagrid nodded. Harry walked purposefully towards Ron, grabbed his shoulders and hauled him up. He looked over towards Ginny, who was walking towards them already.

"We'll be back soon." They all apparated to London, where they knew Hermione would be.

She had placed an anti-apparition charm over her parents house so the closest she could arrive was down the street. The first thing she saw was the sickening Dark Mark hanging over her home. She started running, all pain forgotten. Her hair was whipping in the wind, her jumper was torn up to above the knee, and her cloak had fallen off one of her shoulders. The right side of her face was bruised and bloodied, there were scratches all over her legs, and her neck was purple from the tight hold Draco had around her throat. But none of those things bothered her right now. She hoped that she had only been imagining the green skull and snake.

She reached the familiar brick walkway. Her lungs burning. The Dark Mark was still there and the front door was blown in. Aurors were all over the place. She heard Ron, Ginny, and Harry running up behind her, she heard their gasps, but she didn't care.

The bastard had told the truth.

"No…"

"Hermione?" Ron touched her shoulder and she flinched. He tried comforting her and she pulled away, but he wouldn't give up. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her to him, she tried fighting it. Ginny's hand covered her mouth as she shook her head.

"No, Ron! I don't…" She pounded a fist against his chest, trying to get him to let go. "Ron! Stop it!" She hit him again. And again. Ron just stood there, trying to calm her down. "Let me go! Please! I don't…I don't…" The last bits of her words died in the sob that broke all of their hearts. She stopped pounding on his chest, and just fell into his embrace. The two sunk to the ground, Ron whispering soothing words into her ear.

Ginny started walking towards them when Harry's hand stopped her. He sadly shook his head. She nodded and walked back to him, threading her arms through his, watching the scene before them.

a/n: Sorry if it's too angsty! Sorry if everyone seems a little ooc...with the exception of Draco. He's an ass no matter what. And sorry if it sucks, cause I think it does. But I'm my worst critic.

Read and Review if you would be so kind.