Changes

Disclaimer:- Don't own them just borrowing!

Episode:- None

Pairing:-Sandra/Gerry

Rating:- M

Achieve:- . /group/new_tricksff/

Summary:- Everything is changing because of something so small

Author's Note:- This is completely AU existing relationship based fun, I hope you all like it it's a little different!

Chapter 1 – .God

"Yeah you go on in tell them I'm running late and to carry on with the Jenkins case I'll not be long." The door has closed and I'm still standing staring at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. You see I'm in trouble, actually that makes it sound worse than it is, on second thoughts maybe it doesn't I haven't decided just how bad it is yet.

Ok I know you're thinking that you have walked in on the middle of a conversation with a nut case but I promise you I'm not, normally I'm very sane, level headed even, but nothing about his situation is normal. I really should fill you in on the background then you might understand why I'm having this particular melt down and why I think I might be in so much trouble!

"Sandra did you see where I left my car keys?" Shit where did he come from I thought he'd left already. That's my husband, we've been married for six months but we've known each other for a decade most of which time we both spent pretending that we weren't in love. "Got them, are you sure you should be coming in at all today you looked terrible when you woke up!"

"Thanks Gerry that makes me feel a whole lot better. Yeah I'm fine I'll follow you in." Did I mention what a charmer he is? Yeah, yeah I know he's a man and men sometimes open their mouths without thinking that what's about to come out of it is not what you want to hear but seriously! Anyway he really has gone this time so back to my explanation. Finally a couple of years ago after one too many drinks one of our frequent rows became a proper slanging match full of recriminations about how neither of us understood how the other felt, at the end we realised the problem was we both felt the same we just had been refusing to admit it. So that was it we were inseparable and when after a year he asked me to marry him initially I said no. I know now you're thinking why the hell did you do that? You've got to understand though he's been married three times before so I'm his fourth wife. Yes the fourth! I couldn't see how things would be any different for us that it had been with his three ex-wives and I didn't want to be someone else he divorced and stayed friends with. I'd done the being his friend thing and I had no desire to go back to that. He convinced me eventually that things would be different; he told me if I'd been the first woman he'd married he'd never have needed anyone else so I said yes. Then six months ago we got married in a small ceremony with all of his exes, his daughters, his grandson, our friends and my mother there. It was a lovely day in spite of my mother lecturing me about how she disapproved of my choice of gown on that day even she couldn't anger me.

Now you're really confused aren't you? Your sitting there thinking if she's happily married to a man she loves why is she staring at herself in the bathroom mirror instead of being in the car with him on her way to work? Well here's the thing, we are happy, really happy with each other and the way things are but I know if I'm right everything is going to change and not just a little bit a lot and I'm still confused about how I feel about that let alone how he's going to react.

You see the reason I'm staring at my reflection is not that I have suddenly come over all vain it's that the mirror is on the bathroom cabinet and inside that cabinet behind the box of tampons I know he would rather die than move is the exact thing that can put me out of my misery or confirm that I need to pull myself together and decide how I'm going to deal with him because if you think this is a meltdown you ain't seen nothing yet my friend!

Ok no more faffing about I'm going to do it, the box is in my hand and I'm ready, actually who am I kidding I'm not ready but I'll do it anyway! Right I've managed to pee on the right end of the stick and the first blue line is there telling me I've done it right, go me, NOT! 90 seconds that's how long it says in the instructions it takes, 90 seconds to know if our lives are about to be turned upside down and I've just realized that I'm as nervous about the idea of it being negative as I thought I was about it being positive. You see I've never wanted the whole marriage and children thing, I had my career I've worked hard to get where I am and I love my job and I am happy with that still, well that and him. Now though in the last couple of days while I've been seriously thinking this might be a possibility I've realised my fear is based on how I think he will react rather than how I feel myself. I've convinced myself that for me it wouldn't be the end of the world to have a baby, his baby, and as I turn back to the sink to check the result I realise I'm holding my breath and my eyes are closed. That's smart Sandra are you just going to stand here with your eyes closed until he comes home and breaks the bathroom door down and finds you and the test? Ok one eye open, two eyes open, one line, two lines. I'm pregnant, I'm having a baby, Gerry's baby and I can't decide what's stronger the wave of excitement or the wave of nervousness at how he's going to react.