We are all lost. Lost in a different way though; some in life, some in love, some in the middle of nowhere. But whether you are lost mentally or physically we are all lost in our own way. Some never to be found by them or by another, some will remain lost. Remain in their world, fortress, tower their place. Their place they will stay. Their place where they will remain as they are… forever lost in this unforgiving world.
For Charlie, the flowers were wilting. His time was running out. At the age of 16 he was fading away he was lost and nothing in society, he meant nothing to this world. A boy of age 16 living inside his room, food and water was the only thing that went in, rubbish and washing was the only thing that went in. Life had been this way since the age of 13 for Charlie. 3 years in a bedroom. Why you may ask would Charlie do this to himself. Well truth is why is never a question that can be answered lightly, why is a powerful word that brings a lot of lies with it. But Charlie's story has a why and this is it…
It all started at the age of 12 for Charlie, what was life-like then? It was happy, peaceful, joyful, vibrant, colorful beautiful and imaginative; it was everything you could hope for. Perfect you could say even! But well happiness doesn't last forever to say the least. Things took a turn for the worse. Like all happiness does but Charlies? Much more than a little turn, the car of life turned around and went the other way, never to stop. Charlie felt alone. Charlie felt like nothing now. Charlie believed every word he heard, every person that Charlie was better off without became who he looked to for an opinion, and boy did they give it. Charlie knew that they strongly disliked him with a passion… But in the state that Charlie was in he just wanted to dig the hole he was in deeper. The only opinion he could accept was the ones that weren't true in others eyes but were in his.
Charlie was…. Charlie was broken at this point. Almost 13 not even a teenager yet, but Charlie was badly broken beyond repair. Charlie was now not only broken but lost, for good the old Charlie was gone and not the broken heart and soul of Charlie would not roam the world anymore it would stay put in the small, reeking, depressing room of Charlie. Charlie decided he just wouldn't show his face to the world as there was nothing there to love anymore. So Charlie took collected some possessions from the house bought some supplies and a pad lock. He got home locked the door with the pad lock, collapsed on his bed and stared at the ceiling for hours. That was the day of Charlie's 13th birthday. Charlie cried himself to sleep nights on end, Charlie dragged the blade across his skin the release the pain in rose-red drops of the substance called blood. Charlie was officially broken. He was a depressed, suicidal, self-harming madness with no one to blame but himself.
Life did not have to lead to this for Charlie, but life did not have to lead to happiness. Charlie chose the path of pain and sadness he chose the madness. Maybe Charlie knew what he was getting himself into… but it is hard to believe that anyone knows what it is like to be depressed, suicidal or to self-harm unless they have or have been themselves. The pain that someone has to be going through to do what he did. Charlie was a smart boy, but who knew that such smartness could lead to such stupidity to choose the path of pain, sadness and madness.
