What a surprise. I update my profile to say I'm gonna get back in the swing of things by working on one-shots, and then it takes me over a year to write just one. Typical me.

Anyway, this little bit of action is inspired by (read: shamelessly steals from) "Shoot 'Em Up", and features Zero and Fafnir engaged in some mindless violence. Takes place about 6 months after Zero 1.

Read, Review, and Enjoy, not necessarily in that order (not really sure how you'd enjoy without reading, but...)

All characters © Capcom/Inticreates


Zero took another sip of lukewarm coffee.

Removing his helmet and putting on a long brown poncho and pair of cheap, dime-store sunglasses had disguised his identity. A cheap disguise, yes, but it served well enough to fool the Pantheons that patrolled the old sectors.

From behind the black lenses of the aviators he had "liberated" from an outlet store after his last mission into the city center, Zero eyed a pair of said Pantheons.

In the months following his defeat of Copy X, Zero had learned patience. Yes, it would be easy enough to dispose of two Pantheons, and do so without using any weapons save perhaps a stray metal pipe. But that would draw attention to the sector, whether or not they could identify the Pantheons' killer, and then meant one less area to hide out in between missions.

Taking another sip, Zero observed the drones, following them with his eyes so as to not look like he was staring. Beneath his poncho, he did keep his Buster Shot pistol trained on them, just in case they decided he was worth taking note of.

Suddenly, however, both Pantheons froze, mono-eye lenses flashing crimson, before they turned and dashed away, cannon arms held upright and primed.

"… Crap." Zero knew a security alert when he saw one, and this one clearly wasn't about him. Standing up from the bench, he stretched for a moment, and with a sigh tossed his coffee to the pavement, checking that his Saber was securely plugged into the Buster Shot. "I really hope this isn't worth the Guardians' attention."


"You should be proud, causing enough trouble to be worth my attention," the Guardian of Fire sneered at the battered Resistance soldier, "You should also consider yourself thoroughly screwed, but that's another matter entirely. Tell you what, kid. You give back that Cyber Elf, and I'll make this quick and relatively painless."

Fafnir, Neo Arcadia's Warrior General of Ash Flames, named for the mighty Norse dragon, and armed with enough incendiary firepower to live up to said mythical namesake, had with a small complement of Pantheons run down Naomi, one of the Resistance's senior soldiers, and cornered her in one of the old sector's many abandoned factories.

"Rot in hell, you son of a bitch!" The redheaded soldier roared, drawing her machine gun and firing off a short burst at Fafnir's face.

Fafnir instantly had his Knuckle Buster cannon raised, its wide, jaw-like shrouds deflecting the metal bullets. With a laugh, he roared, "Yeah! That's more like it! Not a challenge, of course, but I love it when you Resistance punks show some spine! Hell, just for that, I'll still make this quick!" before pointing the cannon at her, the igniter sparking to life.

"… I'm sorry, Miss Ciel," Naomi murmured to herself, closing her eyes, steeling herself for a fiery death.

What came instead, however, was not a blast from Fafnir's flamethrower, but the cracks of several buster shots and the smashing sound of the bolts shattering the Pantheons' armor.

"The fuck-" Fafnir spun around, only to have his vision filled by heavy brown cloth.

Zero had thrown his arm, along with a good portion of his poncho, around Fafnir's head, blinding and entangling him. With his free hand, he drove his fist into Fafnir's face several times at lightning speed, before tossing him back and snapping a kick into his armored sternum, launching him into an old assembly line conveyor belt.

"Well well well, if it isn't Zero The Hero himself!" Fafnir laughed, digging himself out of the wreckage, "It's been a while! I haven't seen you since you bombed the Pantheon R&D Facility a few weeks back!"

"Good to see you too, Fafnir," Zero scowled, raising his buster, barrel glowing and the gun emitting the tell-tale whine of a building charge.

"See that's what I like about you Zero! I mean, besides the fact that you're the toughest motherfucker I've had to fight…well ever! You don't waste time with chit-chat! You get right down to it! So draw your sword and let's do this for real! Because as strong as your buster may be," Fafnir immediately separated his Knuckle Buster down the middle, forming Sodom and Gomorrah, holding one with each hand, "We both already know mine're better!"

"… Hey Fafnir. Remember that Tornado Shot that Harpuia's so fond of using?" Zero asked, lip curling up ever so slightly.

"Yeah? What of it?"

"Remember how I copied it?"

Fafnir's grin began to fade. "… Yeah?"

"I still haven't worn out the chip yet."

"… SHIT!" Fafnir unloaded both barrels at Zero, who in turn released the trigger on his Buster Shot, dropping a small, swirling ball of electricity to the ground, which immediately sprouted into a column of spiraling wind and lightning that surged forth, drawing in the streams of fire from Fafnir's guns, and then Fafnir himself, launching him up through the ceiling, sparking with the electricity surging through his body.

Zero immediately spun and grabbed Naomi, diving through the window with her under his arm.

"Can you run?" Zero asked as he ran.

"Yeah! Zero, where have you-?"

"Then run now, talk later! Dropping you in three, two, one…"

As Zero released her, Naomi got her legs under her, stumbling slightly but catching her stride quickly.

"Where are we going?"

"Safehouse in the next district."


Fafnir crashed the the pavement outside the factory, his armor still sparking. After a moment, he coughed and sat up, groaning. After a moment, a ringing sounded in his head, and in the corner of his vision he saw the "incoming call" icon flashing. Mentally accessing his communications system, he immediately heard the voice of his elder brother.

"Fafnir, this is Harpuia. What the hell happened? Did you secure the stolen asset?"

"Well, I HAD it under control until our friend in red showed up!"

"Zero's involved? Hold position, Fafnir, I'm on my way-"

"Not necessary, Harpy, I got this!"

"I'm at least sending Leviathan-"

"Oh FUCK no! I don't need that masochist stabbing me in the back just so she can get off from Zero kicking her ass!"

"…" Harpuia said nothing, but gave an awkward cough.

"You know that's exactly what the crazy bitch would do. Just send me some Pantheons. GOOD ones!"

"Good Pantheons. Funny," Harpuia chuckled, "… Oh wait, you were being serious."

"… FINE. ADEQUATE ONES, you prick! Just make sure they can fucking shoot straight!"

"They're on their way. Remember, Fafnir, you're taking all the responsibility for this mission. Or to use your words: You fuck this up, and you are my paperwork-bitch for the next six months. Harpuia, out."

"… Son of a bitch!" Fafnir snarled, slamming his fist through the pavement, "… I knew that 'pencil-pusher' crack was gonna bite me in the ass."


The route to the safehouse was convoluted to say the least. Naomi had trouble keeping track of it, but at the very least she knew that they had doubled back after running out in full view for about a mile. They had actually passed by the factory again on their way, so Naomi was forced to assume that Zero had intentionally made their initial direction as easily trackable as possible.

"In here," Zero whispered, stopping to crouch by a manhole cover, which he lifted as quietly as possible, holding it open for her.

Naomi held her breath and slipped in, Zero following close behind. Once he set the manhole cover back in place, he drew his saber and planted it in the concrete, illuminating the area with a sharp green light. The sewers were narrow, far too much so for easy passage. Thankfully, they smelled more musty from disuse than putrid from waste.

"Which way now?"

"For the time being, we wait right here."

"But aren't we maybe a block from the factory where we were last seen?"

"We were last SEEN heading away from here as quickly as possible, and I was last HEARD telling you that I had a safehouse in the next district."

"… Heh," Naomi smiled, "I sometimes forget that you're as good at stealth as open combat."

"Better than you, evidently. So who are you? You're obviously Resistance, but what are you doing here? I feel like I've met you before, somewhere."

"You have. I'm Naomi. A few months ago, before you killed X, you busted me and my squad out of lockdown in the Neo Arcadians' underground Desert Base."

"Ah. I KNEW I knew you from somewhere. You guys helped me bring down Blizzack Staggroff."

"If by 'helped', you mean 'royally pissed him off', then sure," Naomi grinned sheepishly.

"Don't sell yourself short. You'd be surprised how helpful it is to piss something off. Take, for instance, our friend Fafnir. I'm gonna guess Harpuia called him for a status update after our little run-in, and Fafnir, in his fury, either lied about the mission status or at least declined any backup strong enough, and more importantly COMPETENT enough, to pose a real threat to me. Which means he'll have to rely on his own tracking skills to find me. So we wait here for an hour or so, then we make a break for the city limits, and you get yourself back to Ciel."

"What about you?"

"I'm gonna keep doing what I've been doing. Hiding out in Neo Arcadia, wrecking their stuff and keeping the heat off of the Resistance so that you can keep doing…whatever it is you've been doing since I left. Which brings me neatly back to you. What are you doing here alone?"

"Asset liberation, officially," Naomi answered, taking off her backpack and opening it to reveal a soft blue glow.

"A Cyber Elf…" Zero stared at the floating blue light as it assembled itself into the form of a tiny, pudgy, noseless face, "What can this one do?"

"No idea," Naomi answered, "But we intercepted a communique that claimed it was pretty damn important-"

"How important?" Zero cut in, "Important enough that they would be able to track its energy signature at close range?"

"… Probably."

"Well…fuck."

As if on cue, Fafnir voice boomed through the manhole cover, "I'll give you one chance to come up and face me like a man, Zero! Don't make me blast my way in."

"… Be right out," Zero grabbed his saber, the blade's green glow immediately turning a dark purple, "Be ready to run."


Up on the surface, Fafnir grinned upon hearing Zero's reply, "Good man! I knew you were better than hiding like a coward! Don't get me wrong, I can respect strategy when it's needed, but you, you're stronger than hiding-"

At that, the manhole cover was pierced by a blade of dark purple light, which immediately expanded into a sphere of blackness that enveloped Fafnir and his Pantheons. He drew his Knuckle Buster, sweeping back and forth, looking for some sign, but quickly realized that he would see nothing until the darkness was dispelled. "… Phantom's move. Clever, Zero, just like my late brother. You really were Master X's equal. Strength to match mine, cunning to match Harpuia's, ruthlessness to match Phantom's, and…well something to match Leviathan. Not sure I want to think about that one too hard and you're already gone aren't you?"

The black wave slowly dissipated, revealing three of the Pantheon's on the ground, heads facing the wrong way, while the others were sweeping their blasters back and forth, trying to locate Zero.

"Spread out! He can't have gotten far!" Fafnir shouted to his troops, "Signal immediately if you detect the damn elf's energy pattern!"

Suddenly, Fafnir felt the ringing of an incoming call, switching on his communicator, he practically shouted, "What is it Harpuia?! Kinda busy, here!"

"Just thought you should know, they're headed South, across the rooftops. Not particularly subtle, so it's probably another attempt at misdirection-slash-making-you-look-stupid. I'd get up there before he has a chance to give you the slip."

"… Are you watching this with one of the satellites?"

"I am. Normally, I'd be hoping that you screw this up, because I could use the help with the paperwork Zero left me with from the LAST mess he made, but quite frankly, recovering the asset is more important than that."

"Just keep an eye on him! And watch closely once I catch him! Maybe you'll learn something!"

"I'm sure," Harpuia replied flatly, "Harpuia, out."

"Up top, and heading South guys! Let's move!" Fafnir shouted, leaping into the air as he separated his Buster and pointed both barrels at the ground, propelling himself up with a blast of flame. The Pantheons settled for climbing the nearby fire escape.


"I kinda wish you had mentioned the Cyber Elf sooner," Zero grunted as he leapt from one rooftop to the next, "This changes things a bit. If Neo Arcadia is putting as much importance on this thing as you say, then there's no way Harpuia will let Fafnir fly blind for long. In fact, he's probably got a surveillance satellite trained on us right now."

"So how do we lose them?!" Naomi shouted back, somewhat winded from the roof-hopping.

"Lemme think for a second." Looking around, Zero took stock of their surroundings. They were on the roof of an old "Joe's Screws, Nuts, and Metools" shop, the old neon sign still hooked up to the power grid, glowing a dim red. Near the front of the building was a heavy metal power box. Not particularly strong cover, but it would serve well enough. Zero quickly made his way over to it, tearing the top cover off and setting it against the north side of the box. He then placed his Saber on his left forearm, where it began to spin around the center of the handle, projecting a defensive green field.

"We're gonna make our stand here?" Naomi asked, crouching beside Zero behind the makeshift cover.

"No, I'M gonna make my stand here. YOU-" Zero raised his fist and smashed it down into the floor beneath Naomi's feet. As her weight began to cause the cracks to spread, he finished, "-are going to get the hell back to the resistance base."

Before Naomi could protest, a second punch took the roof out beneath her, sending her down into the shop.

Turning back toward the incoming wave of Pantheon's, Zero checked his pistol. Without his Saber fueling it, the old gun would have a limited ammo supply.

"Keep up, dammit!" Fafnir shouted to the Pantheons, as he leapt to the roof of the Metool shop… and nearly took a charged buster wave to the face. "Shit!"

"Let's see, about ten shots left, and Fafnir had maybe a dozen Pantheons at most," Zero smirked as Fafnir dove behind the giant neon "METOOLS", signaling to the incoming Pantheons to take cover.

As they arrayed themselves behind the neon sign and opened fire, Zero ducked down behind his shield.

The power box, even with the extra layer of metal, provided almost no resistance to the Pantheons' shots. As they punched through the metal and circuits, however, they collided with the Shield and were reflected back at the sign. As the storm of reflected bullets forced the Pantheons to take cover, Zero stood and fired, blasting clean through the flimsy neon letters, taking out the drones hiding behind them.

"Let's see… J, O, E, S, S, N, T, S, M, E, and S," Zero counted in his head the letters he had seen the Pantheon's taking cover behind, shooting them out in turn, causing them to dim, revealing the broken form of a dead drone behind it. As he went to shoot out the "AND", his buster gun merely fizzled when he pulled the trigger.

"Hmm… Hey Fafnir!" Zero shouted.

"What?!" Fafnir called back, standing up from cover, along with his last Pantheon.

As soon as the stood, Zero hurled his Shield at the "AND", slicing clean through it and the final Pantheon. As the Shield returned to Zero's hand, the Saber blade extended, and Zero raised his middle finger at Fafnir.

"Screw you, tool."

"The fuck-?" Fafnir didn't recall Zero being one for childish insults. Then he looked at the remains of the neon sign, which now read "SCREW U TOOL". Glowering at Zero, he raised his cannon into the air and smashed the "L" with it, before snarling, "Screw you too."

The two then leapt at each other, Zero drawing his saber back, the blade pulsing with charged energy, as Fafnir's Knuckle Buster opened the "jaws" of its shroud and he wound up his arm for a crushing blow. As the two strikes met, the combined force tore across the already damaged roof, sending bits of plaster and clouds of dust into the air. They stood there for a moment, the handle of the Z-Saber braced across the buster's barrel by his hands, the blade mere inches from Fafnir's helm.

"Bad move, Zero!"

The jaws of Fafnir's cannon closed down on Zero's right arm, locking tight against the armored bracer, before Fafnir swung his buster skyward, hurling Zero up into the air with a short blast of fire to propel him further, before leaping after him. As he reached out his empty hand to grab Zero's collar, however, Zero's hand shot out from beneath his poncho, grabbing Fafnir's wrist.

"You really think that after all of the times you've used this move on me, I wouldn't have come up with a counter?" Zero asked, as he spun Fafnir in mid-air, arm-barring him with one hand and wrapping his other forearm around Fafnir's neck. As they began to fall, Fafnir tried to swing his free arm into Zero and knock him loose, but his large cannon restricted his shoulder and elbow too much for him to generate any significant force.

Just before they crashed into the street, Zero released Fafnir from his grip. Fafnir immediately spun to swing his gun into Zero, but the all he got for his trouble was the explosive force of a fully-charged slash from Zero's saber directly into his chest, sending him shooting down into the pavement, and Zero floating upwards from the recoil. Zero then drew up his saber, the tip pointed down, and the blade began to blaze an electric blue as Zero prepared to unleash Aztec Falcon's Raijinha technique.

"Nice try, Zero!" Fafnir shouted from the crater he had left in the pavement where he had smashed into it. Though still on his back, he had separated his buster into Sodom and Gomorrah, and had them both aimed straight at Zero, a burning crimson aura surrounding his entire body.

Zero immediately abandoned his attack and brought up his Shield as Fafnir unleashed his Meteor Rain, filling the air with blazing red balls of fire. Zero struggled to hold onto his shield as blast after blast threatened to tear it from his grip.

And then the brilliance of the move hit him, along with the first swarm of fiery bolts from a "missed" shot exploding behind him. All Zero could think as the next blast hit was how much easier it had seemed to dodge this attack whilst on the ground. As he hit the ground, he rolled both to absorb the impact and to extinguish the flames which had begun to eat away at his poncho.

"Guess you're not the only one who's learned to counter moves!" Fafnir cackled as he hauled himself to his feet, "I may be stupid, but I'm still a warrior through and through! Best not forget that in the future," Fafnir noted the trouble Zero was having picking himself up from the ground, "Assuming you've got a future!"

Fafnir's body began to exude a white aura, as he combined Sodom and Gomorrah back into a single weapon and leveled it at Zero, who had just barely regained his footing, saber in hand.

Just as he fired off his gun, however, Fafnir was tackled from behind, throwing off his aim.

"The fuck-?!"

"Eat this, you sadistic asshole!" Naomi cried out as she, hanging from Fafnir's shoulder armor, slapped a shaped explosive charge onto his already-damaged back armor, before kicking off of him, skidding on the ground and rolling to the side to get clear of the blast that sent Fafnir careening forward.

"Zero! Are you alright?!" Naomi shouted.

"Been better, in all honesty," Zero grimaced, "But I can stand, and I can hold my saber."

"Let's go, then! If Harpuia really is watching, I think his faith in Fafnir will be gone right about now!"

"Almost assuredly," Zero nodded, following her down a nearby alley, his stride hampered by a severe limp, one arm hanging uselessly. Naomi kicked down a door on the left at the end, and they slipped inside.


Fafnir heaved himself onto his feet, pain tearing through his body as he did.

The minute he heard his communicator ringing, he screamed, spitting red circulatory lubricants as he did.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT, HARPUIA?!"

"Come back, Fafnir. They've got you beaten. I'm sending in the Pantheon Aces to clean up this mess."

"FUCK YOU! I'VE- urgh- GOT THIS!" Fafnir roared, eating the pain and whirling to try and detect the Cyber Elf's energy signature, "BESIDES, THE ACES WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO DO SHIT TO ZERO IF I HADN'T SOFTENED HIM UP FOR YOU!"

As his scanner zeroed in on the Cyber Elf, Fafnir hobbled over to the building where the signal was detected, leveling his Knuckle Buster at the wall, blasting it apart.

The moment Zero and Fafnir made eye-contact, their busters were leveled at each other.

"One last round, Fafnir?"

"Until the day I die, Zero!" Fafnir grinned madly, his "blood" dribbling from his teeth. His grin quickly faded, however, as he heard a roaring whine growing louder and louder. "No, no, no, nonononono- DAMMIT!"

The windows shattered as six black-armored Pantheons with jetpacks kicked them in, darting through to the ground to surround Zero, buster guns trained on him.

Without missing a beat, Zero called out, "Harpuia, I know you're listening, so I'll tell you directly: If any of these assholes so much as THINKS about shooting me or her, or just shooting in general, you can say goodbye to Fafnir's head."

"DAMN RIGHT, HARP! We're doing this as FUCKING MEN!" Fafnir hacked.

From beneath the center Ace's gold visor, Harpuia's voice sounded.

"Fafnir, shut the hell up."


Zero was silently praying that this would work. He remembered that two Aces had been mildly annoying when he fought them at the Neo Arcadian Shrine. With their numbers tripled, and his injuries, he was relatively certain that a fight would at least get Naomi killed, even if he himself managed to survive. MAYBE Fafnir's assistance would turn the tide, but Zero knew that Fafnir's desire for a fight wouldn't extend so far as treason. He looked back at Naomi, who had her machine gun trained on the nearest Pantheon.

"… Zero, if you turn yourself in and face trial for the murder of Master X, and return the Cyber Elf this Maverick stole, then I can guarantee the girl's safe exit."

"And why would I trust your word?"

"Neo Arcadia does not benefit from the death of a single low-level Maverick. You may think what you like about me, Zero, but I always keep my word."

"Hell with that!" Fafnir cut in, "Zero deserves a warrior's death! Not getting crushed in the death row garbage compactor!"

"Fafnir, if it will shut you up, then Zero's death sentence can be carried out in battle with you," Harpuia sighed, "Not to give the impression of a rigged trial Zero, but I imagine that you would plead 'guilty', and do so with pride."

"Well, you've got me there. I mean, depends on whether the fact that your master was only a copy would sway- You know what? Nevermind. Yes, I would." Zero knew that any claims against Copy X being the genuine article would be immediately silenced. Even the appearance of X himself would probably be decried as a trick.

"Fair enough. Fafnir, do these terms satisfy you?"

"… I guess."

"Very well. Maverick, hand Zero the asset. I'd also say drop your weapon, but that gun is of so little consequence…"

Zero turned to Naomi, hand extended. She looked at him incredulously, before lowering her gun and slowly sliding her backpack off her shoulders and hesitantly extending it to Zero.

"Zero, you can't possibly- AH!"

Rather than taking the backpack, Zero grabbed Naomi's wrist and pulled her to him, embracing her in the folds of his poncho, pressing his lips to hers, kissing her passionately for a long moment.

When he finally broke contact and stepped back, Naomi's face was as crimson as his armor, her eyes wide, and her mouth hung open just slightly. Taking the backpack from her hand, he opened it toward the center drone to show that it still contained the Cyber Elf.

"Sorry about that," Zero smirked, "Had a goodbye I needed to squeeze in, what with my imminent execution and all."

"Take it out of the bag," Harpuia ordered, clearly not intent on taking even slight chances.

As Zero cupped the Elf in his hand, dropping the bag, Naomi's shock began to wear off, enough so that she noticed a weight now hanging from her belt…

"Good, now, drop your weapons-"

Zero raised his hands, still smirking, then threw his poncho from his shoulders. His weapons were gone. Not in his hands, or on his belt.

"HEY ASSHOLES!" Naomi shouted.

Fafnir and the Pantheons immediately turned to see the Resistance soldier, with Zero's buster gun in hand, saber securely plugged into the power port, and the barrel emitting the telltale light of a charge.

As Naomi released the trigger, a massive ball of red flame issued forth from the barrel…before immediately shooting straight up.

Fafnir burst out laughing, hid sides splitting in a near-literal sense, "REALLY?! That was the trump card, Zero?! I don't think I've EVER seen such a complete failure of aiming!"

"… REALLY?!" Zero echoed flatly as he released the Cyber Elf into the air, before the large fireball, a technique stolen from Fafnir himself, burst against the ceiling, raining fire down upon the Pantheon Aces, igniting them instantly, causing them to flail wildly.

"Zero, catch!" Naomi tossed the Buster Shot into the air, Zero catching it with his good left arm and charging up Blizzack Staggroff's Double Blizzard shot.

As Fafnir recovered from the shock of what had happened, he drew up his Knuckle Buster, only to be forced to hit the deck when Zero spun on his good leg, sweeping a wide beam of intense cold around the room, extinguishing the flames that enveloped the Aces, and freezing the drones solid.

Naomi, who like Fafnir had dropped to the ground, held up her rifle from her prone position and fired, the metal rounds shattering the Pantheons, their armor rendered brittle from the cold.

Zero collapsed to one knee as he finished his spin, his entire body aching, though the worst of it was at his thigh and shoulder. Still, he knew Fafnir hadn't simply gone, so he fought through the pain to stand, only to hear…

"Take your time, Zero. I'm not gonna take my shot until we're both exactly where we were before Harpuia decided to ruin our fun!" Despite the severe damage he had suffered, Fafnir was still grinning ear-to-ear.

"… How very sporting of you," Zero muttered as he slowly pushed himself upright, "You know that I would NEVER extend the same courtesy." He depressed the trigger, beginning to charge his Buster Shot.

"Wouldn't expect you to, Zero! I know this isn't a duel: It's just one more battle in a war. But hey, taking you out after you spent a bunch of energy dealing with my very much unwanted backup just wouldn't feel like a real victory. I guess when I have so little to lose, I need to give myself something to gain," Fafnir's grin only seemed to grow as a hazy white aura surrounded him.

"Whatever works for you," Zero shrugged with his good shoulder before snapping his gun upright and releasing the large green bolt of energy.

Fafnir didn't seem surprised by the suddenness of Zero's attack, and replied, unloading a three-shot burst of flames.

Zero immediately pulled his saber from the back of his gun, spinning it into his Shield. The flame blasts shoved him back, but his shield held.

Zero's shot, meanwhile, hit Fafnir hard in the chest, right where he had earlier been struck by Zero's charged slash. Fafnir staggered back and fell to his knees, but still laughed.

"Nice shot Zero, but not tough enough!" he shouted, slowly rising to his feet once more, "C'mon! Bring your A game-!"

Fafnir hadn't noticed that the cracks in his armor had spidered around his torso to meet the cracks left by the explosive charge on his back. So when Zero fired a quick half-charged shot as Fafnir looked back up, it punched straight through Fafnir's chest, shattering the already damaged armor at the center point and tearing through, despite its weakness.

A grin on his face, but shock in his eyes, Fafnir fell backwards to the ground, where he lay motionless.

"… Nice shot, Zero," Naomi murmured, as she slung her rifle over her shoulder.

"He always did talk too much," Zero grunted, stretching his back. Then he turned to the Cyber Elf, which still floated by his side, "And how're you doing, little guy?"

The Elf only bobbed up and down, emitting a chiming sound in response.

"Good to hear. Now go with her, and stick close, understand?" Zero made a motion as if patting the Elf's head. "You alright, Naomi?"

"I'm doing great," Naomi answered as the Elf floated over to her. She began to open the bag, but Zero stopped her.

"No. Toss me the bag," he said, picking up what remained of his poncho and wrapping it around his shoulders, "There'll be more reinforcements coming soon. If they see me carrying the bag, they'll have to follow me."

"But what about your arm? And your leg?"

"Leg's feeling better, actually. And as for the arm, well…" Zero picked up his saber in his left and gave it a few quick swings, "I guess I'll just have to go lefty for a while."

"And what if Harpuia sees through the trick and has the reinforcements ignore you?"

"Then I'll just have to MAKE them pay attention," Zero said resolutely, before dashing out the door, only a slight limp to slow him.

Naomi sighed, then turned to the Elf, which was floating there, smiling at her.

"C'mon you. Let's get home."


"I'm so glad you're safe, Naomi!" Ciel had her arms around the soldier's waist almost the moment she reached the resistance base's front gates.

"Miss Ciel, please," Naomi grinned sheepishly, "I am a soldier after all."

"Of course! I'm sorry," Ciel stood up and nodded, "I've just been worried about sending you into Neo Arcadia alone."

"I'm grateful for that, Miss. But I'm back, and I brought a friend," Naomi smiled, removing her beret, underneath which sat the Cyber Elf.

Immediately, the little blue light zoomed over to Ciel and began circling her happily.

"Well, hello there, little one!" Ciel smiled, "You'll be safe here. Naomi, you've done a great service for us all."

"Thank you, Miss Ciel, but you should thank Zero for most of it- Miss Ciel?"

Ciel had frozen, eyes wide the moment Naomi mentioned Zero, "You saw Zero? He's still alive?"

"Alive and deadly as ever, Miss. He bailed me out of a run-in with Fafnir-"

"Has he come back with you?" Ciel clasped her hands together hopefully.

"Negative, Miss Ciel. Last I saw of him, he was running out to draw the attention of some incoming reinforcements, 'draw the attention of' in this case meaning 'kill the tar out of'."

Ciel's gaze dropped to the ground, and for a moment it seemed like tears would gush forth. Instead however, she rubbed her eyes with one hand and looked back up, smiling.

"Zero will do what he has to do. And I believe he'll survive to see us all again."

"Of that I have no doubt, Miss."

"Well then, let's get inside and see what Neo Arcadia thought was so important about our new little friend."


"Wake up, Fafnir… Fa~fni~r… Wake up, dumbass!"

"Gah!"

Fafnir woke at the sound of his blue-clad sister screaming in his ear. He was in a recovery pod, hooked up to the machine with numerous cables that attached to his back. The glass cover of the pod was open, however.

"Leviathan?! Where-? How did I get here-?"

Leviathan's thin lips curled into a sly smirk, "Harpuia sent Aztec Falcon to rescue you while Zero was destroying another hoard of Pantheons."

Fafnir blanched. Rescued by the mindless husk left by Zero's first big kill? Could this get any more embarrassing?

"This was of course, after Zero blew a hole in your gut," Leviathan's smirk had grown into an outright grin.

Fafnir looked down at his chest. The heavy armor he wore in combat had been removed, leaving only his red and white suit, which was open to reveal a layer of fresh synthetic skin which had only recently been attached.

"Alright, alright! So he got me this time! Big fuckin' deal! I'll get him next time!"

"Oh, I doubt there'll be a next time for you," Leviathan giggled, "You see, that Cyber Elf you allowed Zero to get away was a necessary part of reviving Master X. And guess what that means?"

"It means you're a rotten bitch-?"

"It means that for at least a few months you're not getting any field work, which is MORE than enough time for me to kill Zero myself!" Leviathan laughed heartily before turning to saunter out of Fafnir's quarters. Just as she reached the door, which slid open at her approach, she turned and pointed to the side of the pod. "Before I forget, Harpuia sent you a 'get well soon' gift. Have fun with it!" she snickered, before hopping into the hall.

Perplexed, Fafnir disengaged the cables from his body with a button press and stepped out of the pod, turning to see a stack of papers with thick lines of legal-sounding text. The papers were piled high, easily reaching Fafnir's shoulders.

Taped to the top was a note that read simply:

Paper. Work. Bitch.

~Harpuia

"… MOTHERFUCKER!"


Yeah, Neo Arcadia probably doesn't use paper anymore, but dammit, stacks of paper are funnier than tiny datapads.

As always, reviews are appreciated, even the ones trashing the story, long as there's some actual critique involved.

At the rate I've been going, I'll see you guys again in a year!