"Umm.. Larx?"

"What do you want, fruit?" Larxene growled, not looking away from the book she was reading. She would recognize that voice any time, even though Marluxia did sound even more pathetic than usual.

"Do… Am I interrupting something important?"

"Isn't that pretty bloody obvious?" Larxene sighed, turning the page, "Do you have something actually urgent? If it's another idea about making Vexen's tight butt even sexier with those pink jeans of yours, then bug off"

"No, it's not that. I…"

There was a long silence. Without hurry, Larxene finished the page she was reading, and then finally turned to face pink-haired male who was standing in the doorway, looking like his whole rose garden had just burned down.

"Fine. Tell me what's wrong", Larxene said, resignedly, pointing the chair in the opposite side of the table. Marluxia hurried to obey, and then tried to find suitable words for a start. Larxene eyed her friend, trying to figure out what could've gotten him so upset. If it was really the case that his rose garden was on fire, the guilty one was not hard to pick. And that would mean that someone had to castrate Axel as a punishment. There was occasions when Larxene would be more than happy to offer her help for her friends, and that would definitely be one of them.

"I…", Marluxia stopped, cleared his throat, "You're… my best friend, right?"

Larxene raised her eyebrows. Something was wrong, big time.

"I… think you could say that", she said slowly.

Sure, there were things that she liked about Marluxia. He was very easy to make fun of, and he didn't have this annoying habit to stare at her boobs while talking to her like Axel did. But she was never really using the term 'best friends'. That was some Boy Scout prattle that guys like Axel and Roxas would do. And sure, Demyx always called Zexion his best friend while strumming his goddamn sitar behind emo-boy's door. So Larxene wasn't really sure when 'best friend' meant just someone to hang out and play PlayStation with, and when it changed to an excuse to push your hands into somebody's trousers. It was easier to not use that word at all. Not that she usually even needed to. Until now.

"So… I can talk to you about anything?" Marluxia asked carefully.

Something… well, everything in Larxene's mind told her that she should say no. She was pretty sure that she didn't want to hear what he had been up to this time.

"I… assume so", she grunted, grinding her teeth.

"Thank you", Marluxia breathed, relieved, "I… you know, I really wouldn't bother you with this, but… I… I can't tell Vexen about this and… well, Roxas is busy with some skating…"

"Roxas? How could he help you with something any better than I?" Larxene asked sharply.

"He couldn't… but he's cute", Marluxia said, blushing a bit.

"This is what you're trying to tell me? You have a complex for KIDS?" Larxene felt her eyes ballooning, "Marly's a pedophile! Boy, is this going to make Xemnas swallow Saix's tongue or what!"

"No, don't tell him!" Marluxia shouted, looking terrified, "I mean… I DON'T have any obsession with Roxas, but… but kids this is about, anyway"

"What on Earth are you babbling about?" Larxene asked, holding her head.

"I… well, I… am, I mean… I suppose I am…"

"A clearly speaking idiot, yes", Larxene said, impatiently, "Just drop it already!"

"I…" Marluxia swallowed for the very last time and then faced his friend's emerald green eyes, "I'm going to have a baby"

There was a dead silence. Whatever Larxene had been expecting, it most certainly hadn't been this. The Savage Nymph was – for once in her life and next life – wordless.

"A… a baby", she stammered, hardly catching any breath, "W… with who?"

"Well", Marluxia ruffled quickly his pink churls, "That's the… funny part-"

"Have you been molesting Naminé?!" Larxene suddenly screamed, jumping up from her chair and nearly causing Marluxia to fall down to the floor, "You sick pervert! You really ARE a pedophile! Wait till I tell Superior about this! He'll cut out your-"

Without bothering to finish her sentence, she rushed out from the library, pounding so the whole castle could hear.

"No, Larx, wait, you don't understand!" Marluxia tried, running after her, "I have not been-"

"Why just a helpless little girl?" Larxene yelled, making sure to attract attention while swinging her hands like a windmill, "If you insisted to pick a girl, you should've come to try me, I would've kicked your balls out! But why couldn't you just stay where you were, being totally gay?!"

"I DID!" Marluxia finally shouted, making Larxene to back up a bit, "I did, don't you get it? I'm the gayest guy in the whole wide world, you should know!"

"Geez, Marly, there is actually ways to come out from the closet without making everyone around you deaf, got it memorized?" said Axel, who had just turned around the corner, holding his ears, "What is this ruckus about?"

"Marluxia says he's having a baby!" Larxene said, still wide-eyed.

"Thank you, Larx", Marluxia said dryly, while Axel's jaw dropped, "I shouldn't have ever doubted that you could keep my little secret"

"It's not gonna be much of a secret in nine months anyway", Larxene pointed out, "And if you even think that you'd let that poor girl to raise that kid on her own…"

"Try to finally understand…" Marluxia started, but right then Demyx appeared in sight, holding his hands on Zexion's hips.

"Who's having a baby?" The blond shouted, looking as hysterical as always, "I like babies. I'll be the godfather, right?"

"Marluxia's having a baby!" Axel said, getting finally his voice back.

"Great!" Marluxia exclaimed, loosing his temper, "Great, great, great! So Marluxia's having a baby, tell the world! Let's all hear it, cry it out a little more! There might be people in North Africa who haven't heard it yet! Marluxia's pregnant, I repeat, Marluxia's-"

"You're WHAT?!" all of them screamed in unison; well, except Zexion who was leaning on Demyx's chest, looking as apathetic as usual.

"That's what I've been trying to say!" Marluxia continued shouting, seeming to turn redder and redder every second, "I'm pregnant, I haven't been messing with any girl, I AM the girl in this position! Except that I am not a girl! I am a guy, and no, I don't know how in bloody hell this is possible! And I don't know what's going to happen when I actually should give birth and all I wanted was to talk about this to someone and now it seems that half of the Organization knows already and I'm pretty damn sure that the other half will soon too!"

He fell silent, gasping loudly, staring at the six thunderstruck eyes – and two bored ones – in front of him. Axel was the first one to break the silence.

"Who's the father?" he whispered weakly, "I mean… the other father… I mean… you know what I mean… like who did you… do with, to… to make this happen?"

Marluxia dangled his head.

"Just have one guess"

Larxene glanced at the pink-haired male… or something that was looking like a male anyway, and felt a loud bell ringing next to her ear.

"Oh dear God no" she sighed.

"How am I gonna tell him?" Marluxia asked, looking hopeless, "He's not exactly the family type, isn't he?"

There was a supplying silence. Then, Zexion opened his mouth.

"Demyx, get your hands off there. I know what you're thinking and we're not gonna try to have a baby too"

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Just a quick start like this =) I might continue it later… if you comment ;)