Brienne was in her tent at the camp near Winterfell. She thanked all the Gods that she and Pod made it out alive. She thanked them even more for making it back before the battle. She failed lady Sansa by not being able to recruit her uncle and his men. The least she could do to make up for it was to fight in the battle. On the morrow, the Lords would ride out to meet the bastard Ramsey for negotiations. She learned that Jon was to ask him for a one on one combat instead, but she knew a coward like Ramsey would not agree to terms as such. Brienne was getting ready for bed, getting out of her armor and into something more comfortable to sleep in. She was exhausted, to say the least, by more than just her body. She was tormented by her mind and heart. For so long she had feelings for a certain Lannister. A man with good in him, he seemed to show only to her. She still felt deeply for him, even now. It got easier over the moons she spent on the road with Pod searching for the girls. She thought her torment was over, but seeing him once more at the Riverlands, she was struck hard once more. Like the feelings, desire and lust never left, only slept. She thought her heart found a new place, a second chance, as stubborn as it may be when she met Tormund with his endless smiles and flirtatious looks. Even when she was too shy to look at him, to acknowledge he was affecting her in the same way Jaime once did. She was hurt too many times, she wanted to be careful for once.
Now having these feelings for Jaime once more after seeing him. It was worse when she entered the camp and found Tormund looking at her with the hunger he always did. She felt a sharp pull in her heart, she still felt the same deep connection with the wild man. What was I going to do? How in the seven kingdoms did she found herself in love with two men? It should be easy. The one she could have if she allowed herself to it. The other was beyond reach and could never be. He didn't feel for her the way she felt for him. Yet, the wild fellow with the beard does, and that made her feel special. Or was it shame? That she didn't have only him in her heart. She fell on the bed exhausted. It was a narrow escape at the Riverlands, and the meeting with Jaime made her tired all the more. Her mind was constantly busy. Thinking of him and Tormund and how she managed to get herself into this mess in the first place. She could not allow herself to be with Tormund with this guilt in her heart. He deserved better. They both did.
Sleep overtook her swiftly. Never before was she able to fell asleep so quickly. Before midnight a sound woke her from her deep restful slumber. At first, she was ready in her mind and senses to kill whoever it was to disturb her rare time to rest. Especially since it was finally the first proper sleep she had in many days.
Still lying on her stomach, facing the opposite direction from the entrance, she was awake and listening to the silent footsteps approaching her bed.
Her grip tightened on her dagger underneath her pillow. She had the advantage. The intruder thought she's sleeping, while she was waiting for them to get closer. He was next to her bed when she swiftly turned and within a blink of an eye, her dagger rested at the nap of his throat and her eyes locked with his.
Tormund's hunger for her grew even more, along with something else that suddenly grew hard, with that swift and bold move. She dropped the dagger and released a sigh, blinking a few times, her eyes still locked with his.
"My lady, didn't mean to startle ye. A mistake I won't make again." He dared to grin wickedly.
"Tormund, I told you not to call me that! Am I being summoned? I better be or you will pay for disturbing me." Brienne's cheeks flushed at his nearness, even with the choice she made hours before that she would not have him.
"No my lady," his grin grew, he liked to tease her with her temper. She was even more beautiful when she was angry, annoyed or even embarrassed. "I was worried. I saw ye return, and ye didn't come for eat." He added honestly and she felt the concern in his voice.
"You didn't have to sneak in here in the middle of the night." She said annoyed that she was woken for no good reason. How would she fall back to that rare wonderful deep sleep again?
"Ye weren't supposed to wake up..."
"So what you thought to sneak into my bed or take a peek at me? Not an honorable thing to do. Then again you are a wildling I suppose that is how you do things."
"I may be wild, but I have honor within me, more than most southerners ever did." Tormund was offended and Brienne saw it in his eyes. She was about to apologize when he spoke again.
"But, if that was an invite I would gladly accept." He gave her his best smile, the same he did when they left Castle Black.
"Tormund, I'm too tired for games or mockery. You should leave!" Brienne looked away like she always did. He would not see her blush, not ever.
"My lady, if I hav' brought shame on ye'r honor I'm sorry. I would never mock ye. Not ye." Brienne saw the truth in his words and mostly his eyes when she dared to look at them again slightly. He truly felt deeply for her. At best, her mind was playing all sorts of tricks on her at Castle Black. She didn't understand his advances - he was from the other side of the wall after all. Yet at the same time, it made her feel things she thought she couldn't feel again. Stronger if that was even possible, and yet, it did not remove her feelings for Jaime. She was still torn in two. Nothing good could come of this. She had to make him leave, and end this madness with the looks, smiles, hunger and lust, all of it. She had to go against everything within her no matter how much her heart was hurting at the thought or beating fast with his nearness. She had to lie.
"I think you are mistaking me in having any sort of interest in you. I do not think of you at all. You should stop it all." Brienne said harshly and looked away. She couldn't bear to look at him, she felt her heart rip apart, but she knew it was the right thing to do. If she was unable to give her heart completely she deserved nothing.
Tormund was silent, looking at her not looking at him back. He knew he had his work cut out for him. He knew this maiden would not be easy swoon, but he would do whatever it took to proof to her that he was worthy of her heart and everything this warrior of a woman had to offer. Hearing these words from her was worse than any wound he ever encountered in any battle. If she meant it, and had no interest in him he would have to respect her southern ways and accept it, or be the wild free man he always had been and keep trying to tame the bear. He turned around and left her tent. Brienne closed her eyes and released a heavy sigh. It was for the best.
She fell back to sleep after a while and before long, she has woken up yet again with someone entering her tent. She knew by her sharp senses it was not Tormund again, the sound, everything was different. She repeated her moves she did with Tormund, only this time her dagger rested at the nape of Jaime's throat.
"You know, I may not always know where I stand with you, but I've always thought that since we've seen each other naked and I did save your life from that ugly bear, that you would never harm me in any content. So why would you want to start now." Jaime said coolly and Brienne's eyes widen in shock and dropped the dagger once more.
"What you doing here? They will kill you if they find you."
"Well, call me charming but I wanted to make sure for myself that you made it out safely."
"You've seen me, now you should leave. I'm vowed to Lady Sansa and if anyone catch you here, I would have to fight you."
"My dearest Lady Brienne, you would never."
"I would if I am ordered to."
Jaime knew he lost that argument, not that it was a fight to begin with, and arguing was certainly not the reason why he came. She was right, as always, that he should not be here. He was always so tempted to see her again all alone in the dark, that he found himself having many glorious dreams about her and him, together in all sorts of positions. That thought made him grin wickedly.
"Now now, no need for us to get all violent. I simply came here to ask you something."
"Ask it quickly so you can leave."
"Are you truly that eager to rid of me?"
"Jaime please."
"Alright, alright. I wanted to ask that when all the fighting is done, and by the God's mercy we are both still here, that you would ever consider me and you?"
Jaime's blunt question made Brienne blink a few times with no words. Could she allow herself this? What higher ground did he held over Tormund. She still found herself in the same position she was with Tormund, only this time she was able to have anyone of them, whichever one she chose.
But she was proud and with honor. If she had to say no to Tormund, she has to say no to Jaime. It was what it was.
"I never have, nor will I now, ever consider you and me," Brienne answered.
"There's someone else isn't there. Lady Brienne you little conquer of hearts. I knew you once looked at my..." Jaime grinned knowingly. "But I never thought you could find someone else superior to me. But then again, you and he are probably not in the situation you and I are in. Fighting on two different sides."
"You know nothing of what you speak of." Brienne flushed. Jaime was always able to read her like a book.
"Do not tell me you have given him the speech too?"
"I cannot choose. I cannot offer my heart completely to either one of you..." Brienne offered.
"So you've decided to have none..." Jaime finished for her. "You know you don't have to be such a Knight about it. You could use a good fuck if you ask me."
Brienne gasped. I dared he speak to her like that. She was in torment about it all, and he was making it a joke. If only that was enough to make her heart forget about him and take Tormund, but it was not. She was still torn.
"So this is why ye told me off," Tormund asked suddenly, his eyes dark.
Brienne and Jaime both looked up and found him at the entrance, and no one spoke.
"Ye want us both, so ye have none." Tormund continued.
"Brienne you cannot be serious. This is the one you cannot choose me over." Jaime asked looking at Brienne once more.
"She wants what she wants, and she deserves," Tormund spoke looking down at Jaime eyeing him hard from top to bottom. Reading him. Profiling him like he would track down a deer for the hunt. He had to see what his Ladys' heart desires.
"You know you cannot just come into a Ladys' tent uninvited," Jaime said standing up.
"And yet here ye are."
"And yet here I am."
Brienne got up from bed mortified that these two would be stupid enough to start fighting over her. None of this could end well. She reached for her sword. She swears it, she would fight them both if she had to, for them both to get out of this alive. They could not do this to her, not now.
"Please, you two stop it at once."
They both looked at Brienne. Their gaze traveled down her body slowly and then back up to her face where they both locked eyes with her. Her nightgown was very revealing and they both saw it.
"If you two do not stop it at once and leave, both going separate ways, I would have to make you..." Brienne started.
"Dressed like that?..." Jaime interrupted Brienne pointing at her sleepwear.
"I would if he would." Tormund interrupted Jaime.
"What was that?" Jaime asked looking at Tormund warningly.
"Share ye'r bed with him," Tormund said simply and both Brienne and Jaime's faces turned to something between shocked and confused.
"Us free folks do things differently. If ye want both ye should have it once, the one who pleases ye the most wins ye."
"What, and you would turn around while I have my turn?" Jaime laughed suddenly.
"No, both that the same time," Tormund answered and both Jaime and Brienne gasped.
How could she let this conversation continue even more? How did she let it get this far to start with?
