「I warned you this, idiot, what this girl will bring to you, is death.」

「You really think I don't know, Elisabeth? She will rise one way or another anyway.」He turned to face her with a grin.「By the way, when have you started caring so much for me? The noble man must be so jealous if he knows…」

A frying pan flew by.

※ ※ ※

If I could travel back to that moment, would I knock you out with another pan? Or, would I confess that I loved you, right there and then? I don't know, and I will never know.

Remember the sarcasm? That what she would bring to you is death? I didn't believe it, just saying that to upset you. Until the day while every flag of Prussia was descending, and the black, red and white symbol kept rising up, did I realize it was true.

But the story didn't end as you had had expected. We went through clashes, tasting ashes. The new empire was crashed to the ground. I was half hoping that you might be independent again. My hope was squashed by greater war. They said you were the aggressive one who started all this. It wasn't that. I was on the battle fields, organizing maneuvers with generals, but I didn't see you anywhere. With all the evidence supporting you, the predators didn't let go of you still. When I heard the death sentence, I thought, that was tit. That was the real end. You braced the destruction to save your daughter and tucked the ring into my hand. "Keep it as a remembrance." You as asked, imploringly, in whisper. "I will." I didn't watch but I heard the gunshot. Wiping a few tears ferociously, I held the ring close to my heart.

Miraculously, I met you again. It is said that you were East Germany, who had nothing to do with the ruined and demonic Prussia. However, the fire in your eyes showed that you were still longing for the freedom we shared in the past.

It was the best of my life, and the worst. Honestly. Devils were trying to suck out every drench of our dignity when you were the only one whom I could trust in. We nearly died in fighting. But I wasn't afraid. You were there to buck me up. With an idiot like you who said yourself would never stop pursuing liberal before I quit, how could I possibly back out? In the last few months, when his power kept going downhill and it seemed that everything was going to be right, you even murmured "Unbelievable, it's like paradise!"

Well, paradise does not exist on earth.

The fall of the Wall meant only you dissolving to me. There would be only one Germany, and you said long time ago, by no means would you let anyone or anything hurt your daughter, even with the sacrifice of your own breath. That night, when the celebration was so blazing as fireworks, Louisa your daughter, the person who caused all this, was the only living soul who stood by my side in the cold hospital room, mourning and weeping.

I did not want to admit it. I do not want to admit that you have passed away, gone and would never return. Someone could have given all the stars in the sky to me, but they wouldn't be able to fill the slightest of my hollow heart.

It is on a blue day wen Louisa brings the exact antidote to my sorrowful soul.

"I found it in my father's drawer." She hands me a letter." and these, "She pats the books she is carrying with. "They were written in his youth. I have flipped through some of them. I do not share such an early time of his life. So, better they are here than at my place." She lays them down gently.

"If there is nothing else, I will say goodbye. Then, sister Elizabeth."

She leaves.

For a long time, I have said nothing and done nothing, just staring at that pile of books. Though slightly wrinkled, I must admit that they are still in good condition.

Does it worth taking the risk?

I pick one up. Great, it doesn't brake apart. I open it, and find that the ink is still clear, like being written yesterday.

" year 1759 Aug. 12

The situation is like hell! How come there is that mass amount of enemies when Francis has been lured assay already? Come back, Arthur! God, please, please help me. I can't be destroyed like this. Louisa would have nowhere to go!"

Louisa, I chew the words slowly. I never realize that you have been caring about her from such an early time. There is bitterness inking in my heart while I am thinking, where I was then? Where was the status of me inside your heart?

"Louisa would have nowhere to go! The despair is creeping up, swallowing my soul. What if it turn out to be just like last time? I thought I have become strong enough, but somehow it is NOT sufficient! God, please lead me, lead us to the victory. But if this wish were even too much to be taken, let me see Elizabeth one more time. I couldn't have saved her when Sardik beat her. At least, I have to know she will be living well from now on. I must know. God, I beg you, on my both knees. Bitte."

I am stunned.

It takes a few minutes to occur to me, I haven't opened the envelope. Quickly, I unfold the letter with trembling fingers.

Blankness. Your last letter for me leaving so much blankness; however I understand. "Only people from Soviet write their letters like dots of sesame," You once claimed in grin." and we are not one of them." Your eyes were glim and arms open wide—

I start to read.

"If the letter is handed to you, the awesome me must be in death. What a waste of breath. Anyway.

I feel the need of writing this is due to the event happened this afternoon. I understand your tears, Elizabeth, of course I do. We were the knight, serving only ourselves. How could I forget the breeze that floated with the smell of grass and the ultimate freedom when horses shot like arrows?

So, how is it possible to swallow the shame like this? You, us, it's a torment! I would kick and punch the polar bear if I could, but there wasn't much strength left in me. Alright, back to the point, my dear Elizabeth.

Something has been bothering me ever since we met again. I am on borrowed time. Judging from your demeanour, you've never and will never talk about fights and horrors and despairs in front of that noble man. Whom should you confide in after I'm gone? Any emotion can't be repressed too long, or they will explode in the end.

I've come up with a solution, dear Elizabeth. Hear it out.

If, if human and we did have souls, where did all of the spirits go then? Dissolved? Way too tragic. Hided somewhere on earth? They are just too many. But how about the galaxy? Millions, millions of millions of planets lie there. Everyone can pick his or her favorite, no needs fighting.

So, one day, Elizabeth, when you can't hear my voice any longer or hold my hands, say your prayers to the star. I must and can hear you that way. Don't get upset if you don't have a response right away, even the light has to travel years between the universes. The point is, I will be there, listening. You are, and will, not be alone.

Love you.

From awesome Gilbert

p.s. Punch France for me, he must miss my fists."

I laugh.

The sound is really weird. I can feel the air flowing through my breast then ejecting from my throat and still it is weird. Then I come to the realization that I haven't laughed heartily since you died.

It's absolutely ridiculous. I laugh as I stumble out of the room and enter the balcony. Ridiculous, but sensible in a way of exactly what you are. I gripped tight to the railing and go on laughing. Upon seeing the sky turn into purple black, I finally stop.

My breathing is still fast. I exhale deeply, gazing up at the sky. How beautiful they are, those blazing little orbs. They travel hundreds of years to reach us and they will go on for another hundred, or thousand years. Who's immortal? Only their innocent dazzling are eternal.

You have forgotten to tell me which star you would choose, Gilbert. But is it because you know that I will figure it out myself? That of all the planets, only one of them is s vibrant, bright, coarse but somewhat attentive as you were? My mouth curve into a serene smile, and I close my eyes.

Ready to hear me out, Gilbert?

Silently, I pray to the Sirius high above.


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