"RAPH!"

"Shut up, PB!"

"I'm coming!"

"Shut your stupid bird up, MIKEY!"

The agitated African Grey parrot, PB, squawked and flapped his wings in retaliation, "RAPH!"

Mikey squeezed out of the backroom shadows and slung toothpaste on Raph's arm. "Peanut Butter!" he sang, railing his fingers across PB's cage and the little gray bird followed the finger's every move, "Sing me a pretty song! Please please please!" He puckered his lips into the cage; Peanut Butter fearfully hopped back.

"Why does it always say my name?" Raph cried, thumbing his fingers across a game controller. His character suffered many blows to the leg. "Dammit! I ducked!"

PB protested in his cage and gnawed on several bars, chirping and ignoring Mikey's soapy lips. "PB! I want some PB lovin'!"

Raph turned to his brother and curled his upper lip in disgust. "PB don't want none of that junk. Go wash! Looks like you need a rabies shot."

"I'm coming!"

His meditation disturbed, Splinter snaked into the room like he'd been through a carnival of blow dryers. Mikey wiped away his foamy lipstick and shushed at PB, who gawked at Splinter's arrival.

Raph continued his tirade against the video game and almost broke the controller in half. "You didn't HIT me! I swear you didn't!"

"Shut up!"

The tea kettle rattled from the kitchen a little louder than usual, clearing displaying Splinter's impatience. Mikey and PB hid at the furthest part of the cage once they caught a glimpse of the sensei's black eyes drilling a hole in both of them.

"M-morning, Sensei... uh, bad night?" Mikey petted PB's head.

"Oh, god!"

Raph chuckled, "Where did he learn that one?"

Splinter joined his sons and feathery pet and plastered on his best smile through a morning haze. "Michelangelo, remind me again where you got such a …. skillful pet?"

PB pecked at some food; Mikey pretended to be intrigued with it. "Uh... April and I got him from some guy who was closing up shop on 5th. He was in a hurry and had to, uh... wanted to leave PB with a good family."

"Why did you think our family was the right choice?"

Mikey gulped, "She's coming to get him by three. It's her turn n-next."

"RAPH!" Flap, flap, flap.

His smile quickly disappearing, Splinter focused on PB and then switched back to Mikey. "Correction, my son. It will be her turn forever. I wish not to acquire a fifth squawker around here. Please -"

"Shut up!"

"Is that all that bird knows?" yelled Raph, pausing his game to take a swig of milk. "I'll teach it some better words."

Splinter's whiskers flinched. "...PLEASE control your little pet, Michelangelo. If not, Miss O'Neil will see her turn with it a lot sooner. Possibly on a platter." The old master slipped into the darkness and left his son gawking as much as the bird.

"You heard him," Raph grinned and returned to his game.

Mikey opened the cage and PB snipped at his finger. With a pout, Mikey said, "It's for the best that you leave, PB. You'll be learning some other colorful words if you stay here and possibly wind up as a Thanksgiving meal."