Disclaimer: This fanfiction is based on characters and situations created
by JK Rowling. No money is being made.
I pass this most sacred volume to you, sonne of my blood. As the next head of the Malfoy family, you will have need of it. Be sure to follow all that is within scrupulously for therein lie your means to power and wealth.
Myvaise Mountebanke Malfoy.
[1468]
Draco: Here is the rulebook. It is not exactly as it was first presented to Mountebank Malfoy the second by his father; it was updated after much consultation in the Hall of Portraits on the 13th of November, 2001. Make good use of it.
Your father, Lucius Malfoy.
[2002]
The Malfoy Family Rules.
Always look pretty. If you cannot look pretty, look tough. If you cannot even do that, you have probably already been disowned.
Black is a fashion statement. It is the only fashion statement.
Failure is not an option.
Sex will get you anywhere. Besides, it's fun.
Guests at the Malfoy mansion have to be treated with courtesy. You may rob them blind, but do it courteously.
No one deserves your respect.
Only fools believe in love. Malfoys exploit fools.
Tears are just saltwater.
Disobedient house-elves may be fed to the gargoyles. It is not in good taste to watch.
Socks must always match.
"T-shirts" are not clothes.
Role models are not acceptable.
You are entitled to arrogance.
Buying cheap wine is a sin.
Cigars are tacky.
Boxers, not briefs.
Bribes are always acceptable.
Honesty is a myth.
Malfoys are never needy.
Malfoys will be taught a sun block charm as soon as they are two.
Malfoys do not 'do' curly.
Malfoys do not cry. They get something in their eyes.
Brown is not an acceptable hair colour. Neither is red.
If someone is inferior to you, they should be made to feel it.
Souls are tradable items.
Ethics may be adjusted as required.
Hawaiian shirts are forbidden.
Personal hygiene cannot be compromised.
Malfoys do not 'hug'.
Cute, furry animals are only acceptable as dragon feed.
Your dramatic side must be cultivated.
Less than impeccable hair is punishable by death.
Cynicism is a way of life.
Malfoys are never sorry.
You can talk your way out of any situation.
Revenge is nothing more than an enjoyable pastime.
If you know you are going to feel guilty about something, do it anyway.
A crime is a crime only if you are caught.
If you are caught, deny everything.
There is no such thing as being caught 'red-handed' - refer to # 35 [You can talk your way out of any situation.]
Loyalty is dictated by circumstance.
Male Malfoys cannot wear skirts. Or dresses. Or kilts. Ever.
A Malfoy always knows when he is being flattered. It may not make a difference but he always knows.
Religion does not require any great measure of faith or sincerity.
I pass this most sacred volume to you, sonne of my blood. As the next head of the Malfoy family, you will have need of it. Be sure to follow all that is within scrupulously for therein lie your means to power and wealth.
Myvaise Mountebanke Malfoy.
[1468]
Draco: Here is the rulebook. It is not exactly as it was first presented to Mountebank Malfoy the second by his father; it was updated after much consultation in the Hall of Portraits on the 13th of November, 2001. Make good use of it.
Your father, Lucius Malfoy.
[2002]
The Malfoy Family Rules.
Always look pretty. If you cannot look pretty, look tough. If you cannot even do that, you have probably already been disowned.
Black is a fashion statement. It is the only fashion statement.
Failure is not an option.
Sex will get you anywhere. Besides, it's fun.
Guests at the Malfoy mansion have to be treated with courtesy. You may rob them blind, but do it courteously.
No one deserves your respect.
Only fools believe in love. Malfoys exploit fools.
Tears are just saltwater.
Disobedient house-elves may be fed to the gargoyles. It is not in good taste to watch.
Socks must always match.
"T-shirts" are not clothes.
Role models are not acceptable.
You are entitled to arrogance.
Buying cheap wine is a sin.
Cigars are tacky.
Boxers, not briefs.
Bribes are always acceptable.
Honesty is a myth.
Malfoys are never needy.
Malfoys will be taught a sun block charm as soon as they are two.
Malfoys do not 'do' curly.
Malfoys do not cry. They get something in their eyes.
Brown is not an acceptable hair colour. Neither is red.
If someone is inferior to you, they should be made to feel it.
Souls are tradable items.
Ethics may be adjusted as required.
Hawaiian shirts are forbidden.
Personal hygiene cannot be compromised.
Malfoys do not 'hug'.
Cute, furry animals are only acceptable as dragon feed.
Your dramatic side must be cultivated.
Less than impeccable hair is punishable by death.
Cynicism is a way of life.
Malfoys are never sorry.
You can talk your way out of any situation.
Revenge is nothing more than an enjoyable pastime.
If you know you are going to feel guilty about something, do it anyway.
A crime is a crime only if you are caught.
If you are caught, deny everything.
There is no such thing as being caught 'red-handed' - refer to # 35 [You can talk your way out of any situation.]
Loyalty is dictated by circumstance.
Male Malfoys cannot wear skirts. Or dresses. Or kilts. Ever.
A Malfoy always knows when he is being flattered. It may not make a difference but he always knows.
Religion does not require any great measure of faith or sincerity.
