Broken Molds
Author: Kristina Laine
Summary: Jack and Daniel re-affirm their friendship with some poignant
words and gelatin snacks.
Rating: PG-13
A/N:
Spoilers for Lifeboat. Thanks to Em for
the bunny.
* * * *
"I don't want any."
"Oh, come on Daniel," Jack O'Neill said as he held up a small container of blue gelatin. "Just one more bite."
"I've eaten five containers already," Daniel replied batting away Jack's hand.
Defeated Jack placed the half eaten cup next to the five empty containers at Daniel's bedside. It had been a rough few days. Daniel was still recovering from having a dozen personalities downloaded into his brain. It was a scary time for O'Neill and his fellow teammates. To think how close that had come to losing Daniel once more scared Jack shitless. He had been uneasy since his friends return a few months earlier, largely due to the big gap in his memory. The fact that he had no idea who Jack was shook him in a way that he had never felt before.
Jack was painfully aware during Daniel's tenure as a glowy being that he had left things at a bad place between them. He wasn't going to lie that he wasn't a major asshole and if he were Daniel he would tell him to buzz off and never speak to him again. However on the two opportunities that Daniel had appeared to him in his ascended state, the subject was never mentioned but he knew it was on their minds.
"You know, Jack, Janet said that I was going to be fine. So really there is no reason for you to sit here and worry about me."
"Whose worried?" Jack asked lying thru his teeth.
Daniel looked at Jack with that give me a break scowl that Jack knew all too well. He wasn't going to be able to brush over this conversation.
"Well okay, maybe a little worried."
"I think that the five containers of gelatin scream a bit more than little, don't you?"
"True," Jack replied. "But to my credit you did have a dozen people in your head not more than two days ago."
"Yeah," Daniel said looking at Jack with what the Colonel had come to know as his guilty face.
"Still having trouble with that?"
"Yeah, well I mean twelve people just essentially gave their lives for me, so suffice to say I am not exactly feeling too good about that."
"Yeah, well, sacrifices do that to people."
"There shouldn't have been a sacrifice to begin with."
"Now Daniel do not get started on that whole 'its my fault' thing that you like to do alot more than you should. What happened on that planet was not your fault."
"They didn't have to die, Jack."
"Those people didn't have to die Daniel. But they did. What happened on the Stromos before we even got there is not your fault. Their consciousnesses being put inside your head without asking is not your fault and thus our taking them out of you is not your fault. Got that?"
"Got it."
"Good," Jack said fidgeting with the empty gelatin containers.
"Great."
The two sat in an awkward silence. More had to be said but neither would be the one to say it. They seemed to stay that way for a few solid minutes before Jack's frustration finally got the best of him.
"Oh, for cryin' out loud Daniel, we need to talk."
"About what?"
"You know what."
"No," Daniel admitted honestly. "I don't know what."
"Us!" O'Neill shouted, not in the mood for this right now.
Daniel smiled, "I had no idea there was an 'us' to speak of, Jack. That is unless I can't remember and you're not telling me something."
Exasperated Jack tossed an empty gelatin container in the nearby trash as Daniel began to laugh.
"Very funny."
"What? Its not like people don't talk about that as it is."
"They talk?"
"Oh, yeah. Have been for a few years now. Are you honestly telling me you never heard about it?"
"I don't really follow the gossipy stuff. That's more of a Teal'c thing."
"He does tend to read The Inquirer a little too much, don't he?"
"It only got worse after you left. He even started watching Springer."
"God, I descended in the nick of time," Daniel laughed. However he knew that he couldn't stall the topic for much longer.
"Look, Daniel -- "
"I know."
"I know too. I was -- "
"An ass. And I was --"
"Pig-headed."
"Pig-headed?" Daniel protested. "I was not pig-headed."
"Were too."
"Not"
"Too."
"How was I pig-headed?"
"Well for starters, dying for a bunch of people that you didn't know and who were willing to sullen your good name for starters."
"We'll its not like I woke up that morning and thought, 'Gee, I would like to die today.'"
"Yeah, well you did," Jack huffed. "And I spent an entire year trying to deal with the fact that I was never going to see you again and then you show up and what do I do, I ignore you. Great friend I turned out to be."
"Well if its any help, I didn't remember you were my friend."
"And that was the problem. Here I should have been sitting by you and trying to help you remember but I didn't. I stayed away. Let you remember on your own because I was too afraid that --"
"Afraid of what, Jack?" Daniel asked curiously.
"You name it. Afraid that this wasn't real and that you hadn't really come back. Afraid that you were just going to leave again. Afraid that you would remember our falling out and hate me . . Take your pick."
"I'm not going anywhere Jack. If my ascension has taught me anything its that I belong here. This is where my life is, where my friends are. And I would much rather be spending time arguing with you than twilling my thumbs with the other Ascended."
"Well that's not what you said before. When I first saw you, in that cell in Baal's fortress. You said you were happy where you were and that you couldn't imagine being anyplace else."
Daniel looked at Jack will a small frown. He could see now why Jack had been so strange to him lately. He wasn't sure that Daniel was there because he wanted to or because they forced him. Afraid that Daniel was unhappy. That Daniel wasn't his friend. He couldn't imagine Jack not knowing him. Or having to question whether they were friends. He admitted however, at one point, they had been. That there was a moment, seemed so long ago, where he wasn't sure where they stood or what, if anything, they meant to each other.
"Whatever may have happened, Jack, in the past to put our friendship into question, is long gone. Too much has happened for us to go back and rehash something that we can't change. And instead of dwelling on the past, lets move on from it. The fact is that none of us will live forever. People die. And most of the time, they don't come back. The fact that I was given this chance makes me realize that I don't have anytime to waste. The truth is, I could die tomorrow or you or Sam or Teal'c and the last thing that I want is to regret what I didn't get the chance to do. Despite everything that has happened, Jack, you are my best friend and nothing will change that."
"You know, watching you stuck in that room, hands tied, slowing going insane made me think the same thing. All that kept going in my mind was that you might die and I may have wasted my opportunity to tell you how much I missed you and how I am glad you are back. And that I missed my chance to make things okay between us."
"Things are okay between us."
Those five words were the one things Jack O'Neill was waiting to hear. The two exchanged a look. One that came with the bond of a long time friendship and deep understanding. For the first time in a long time, both men knew that somehow, it would be okay.
Jack smiled, "You know they really broke the mold when they made you Dr. Jackson."
"The same can be said of you."
"Speaking of molds," Jack said picking up one of the containers of Gelatin. "Jell-O anyone?"
A moment of silence passed between them before they burst out laughing. Things were okay. And maybe, just maybe, a little bit better.
