Cut

Summery:

"One more…" He had to stop this. He knew he did, but he couldn't. He trailed the small blade across his wrist one last time. "Much better…"

A/N: This is rated T for suicidal acts, cussing, and possible character death.


I do not own Maximum Ride.
He had to stop this. He knew he did, but he couldn't. No. He just couldn't stop. The numbing, senseless satisfaction was too great. "One more…" Iggy whispered as he trailed the small blade across his wrist one last time. He breathed in a sharp hiss as he held the blade away from the skin. Almost immediately, he could feel the electrifying signals shoot straight to his brain, numbing his senses for a minute, as his blood seeped smoothly through the sliced skin.

"Much better…" His blank, listless eyes stared up at the dark sky unknowing of the beauty that was there. No. He knew it was there, he just couldn't see it! This knowledge only made the chaos churn in his stomach, making it sour. Instead of bringing the blade back to his skin, he threw it far off into the trees ahead of him. It was dull anyway. Keeping his arm limp, he let the blood spill. The cuts were burning horribly, but he liked it. He liked being up here alone as well. Up here where it was cold and isolated.

Max had them hauled up in some cabin somewhere near Minnesota. The place was of decent size, had enough rooms for them all, a few bathrooms, and even had a huge stock of food ready. It was warm, it was safe, paradise for the others. It was nothing but torture for him.

Nothing about the cabin mattered to him. He didn't care about having a room anymore. He didn't care if he ever slept in a bed again. He didn't even care about eating. Not even the thought of hot dogs, his usual favorite treat, did anything to him. He didn't sleep much. Mostly hung around outside and cut himself.

It was the only thing that made the numb feeling go away anymore. He noticed the change inside him slowly and thought nothing of it. At first, he wasn't feeling as peppy as usual. He didn't get excited or riled up about a new explosions Gazzy had made with him.

Actually, the whole idea of making anything explode left him empty. It just did nothing. Just something of a hollow memory of joy. That's all it was now, though. A memory.

Things got worse over time. He found himself sleeping through any disaster then found he couldn't sleep for days on end. Whenever the others would complain about food, he only ever shrugged and said he was fine. He didn't feel like eating. That meant nothing.

In the end, all feeling left him. He felt hollow, numb, alone. No. Even the loneliness didn't compare to the absolute nothingness that filled most of his being. All was nothing. He was nothing. Nothing mattered. Not anymore. Not the world. Not Jeb. Not the School or any others like it. Even his own life, Iggy mused pathetically, didn't matter.

Iggy's ears perked at the slightest shift in the scenery around him. He had been listening to the leaves sway in the wind when a small almost silent pair of nimble feet stalked toward him. The only person who ever walked like that was Fang. Silent and swift, just like a moving shadow.

"Iggy." Fang stepped up beside him. "It's my watch."

"We don't need to do that anymore, remember?" Even to his own ears, his voice sounded far away and dry.

Not sensing anything yet, Fang sat down beside him and sighed. "Yeah, but she's paranoid. You know that." Nodding solemnly, Iggy carefully covered his wrist without Fang's knowing. It was then the older boy noticed something about his friend. "You're looking skinny buddy."

"We're all skinny," Iggy replied, putting up the defensive immediately.

"No. I mean skinny skinny." He looked at his obviously troubled friend with dark, questioning eyes. "Something going on?"

Iggy frowned. Nothing really was going on. He was just feeling really crappy and had found a way to make that feeling go away for a while. It was perfectly fine. Besides, his nifty recombinant DNA would have the scars healed in no time. "No. I'm fine."

"You sure? You're a lot paler than usual. And it's been a couple weeks since you've blown anything up or set something on fire." Fang used his keen raptor vision to look his friend over. He saw the dark patches under Iggy's eyes and how sunken his face seemed. Slowly, he began to note how slouched and scruffy he looked, more than usual that is. Then he saw how Iggy held a careful hand over his right sleeve. "What are you hiding?"

Holding his breath, Iggy went rigid and pressed down on his sleeve. "Nothing. Just go back to the others." Fang narrowed his eyes and grabbed his arm. "Hey!"

"Don't hey me!" Sliding up Iggy's sleeve, Fang's eye widened at what he saw. "Ig, what have you been doing?"

Pulling his arm away, Iggy shot to his feet and shouted at him. "I told you it was nothing! Just drop it!" Fang couldn't take his eyes off his friend's arm. The few fresh cuts were bleeding sluggishly now, but there were others. More rows of cuts. Some deep, some shallow. There were even a few teeth marks where Iggy must have bitten himself.

A mix of guilt and confusion filled Fang just then. "Ig, what's the matter? Why are you doing that?"

Iggy's face contorted to a type of embarrassed fury, which only seemed to hurt Fang even more. "If you tell the others about this, I swear to God-"

"I have to tell the others ," he said, cutting him off. "That just isn't normal!"

The blind boy backed up, a look of shock on his pale face. "Normal? Nothing we do is normal Fang! I want to do this!" Then out of nowhere, he pulled another blade from his pocket and pressed it to his skin.

"You don't need to do that Iggy!" Jumping to his feet, he came at his friend to smack the blade away. Iggy heard him and jumped back, but stumbled over a stump behind him and fell backwards. In the process, he sliced too deep and howled in a mix of pain and absolute pleasure. "Iggy!"

Snow had cushioned his fall, but pain flared up from his wrist like a white-hot flame. He could feel just how deep he cut and knew instantly it was fatal. When he tried to move his fingers, only a stinging sensation awaited him and caused him to cry out. "Iggy, you idiot!" Fang was screaming at him, crouching over him. Frantically trying to stop the bleeding by applying pressure on it with some type of cloth. It wasn't working. Iggy could feel the blood seeping passed the cloth and coloring the snow.

Slowly and quietly, he started to laugh. It started out as a small chuckle, but it soon turned into a loud hysteric fit of laughter. He couldn't control it! "What's so funny? Iggy! Iggy!"

"Fang, I wish I could see your face," he admitted quietly after the laughter passed. "I wish…I wish I could see just how scared you are. How much you care that I'm dieing."

Fang was starting to cry now. How could his friend say such a thing! "You're not dieing! I won't let you die!"

"Why not!" Iggy screamed back. His throat began to close as a choking sob escaped his lips. "Why won't you let me die? It hurts to live, Fang! I don't want to live anymore!" Then he started to cry, no longer feeling the pain in his wrist. He just cried.

"Iggy," the name escaped Fang's lips. With tear clouded eyes, he watched his friend cry and writhe in so much pain. He held on tight to Iggy's wrist, but he had a dreading feeling that it wasn't going to help. "I don't want you to die. Please don't die. Please! I didn't know you were hurting so badly!" He gathered his friend, his brother, into his arms and cried.

Feeling himself drift away slowly, he opened his eyes and saw nothing, but he could feel Fang's tears hit his face. "Now I won't be numb. I don't want to be numb anymore Fang. No more."

He then went limp. Right there in Fang's arms. Fang couldn't breathe. He couldn't move. He stared long and hard at Iggy. Seeing how pale and still he was. How ruffled and incredibly sunken his appearance was.

But he saw how calm his face looked. How free he seemed.

"No," he breathed. "Ig?" He shook him slowly. Nothing. "Iggy? Iggy! Iggy!"


Skittles: I'm not very good at portraying death or pain. So I don't know if I'm going to continue this. I have my heart in it, but I don't know if you guys like it. Depends on you readers out there if I continue.

So please review. For Iggy's sake if not mine?