Just... Dogtags

By LadyLily(1)

Rated PG

Summary Rogue's thinking about the true meaning of Logan's dogtags.

Notes Hi again n_n ! This little fic has a quite personal background. I wrote it shortly after buying my own Wolvie-Dogtags, and in all my happiness I decided to write about my precious tags *gg*.The part about the real use of dogtags was created on my own, I just didn't know where to search for information. Thanks to my Beta-Girl Biggy again.

*** They are... just dogtags, aren't they? It's been four weeks since Logan left, and Ah miss him so much. Sometimes Ah don't know if Ah would miss him more if he hadn't given me his dogtags. They are the only thing Ah have left of him, which may seem sad, but on one of those days where Ah tend to see things from a positive point of view, Ah'm happy to have at least a part of him with me.

Yeah, they are a part of him. Ah can't really describe why, it's not because he wore 'em all the time, or because his name on the front simply says they're his, it's... more because they were his only hint to the past that haunted him for 15 long years.

Logan finally gave them to me, to keep them for him. Ah think when the time comes that Ah have to return them, Ah'll be very sad.

You'll probably think that a man's dogtags are not the most romantic gift to a woman at my age, but to me they are everything I need.

It's just because he had nothing else to give me. He left kinda symbol for love and affection, something you instantly knew he would come back for.

Kitty once said that it would have been funnier if Logan had kissed me and finally promised to come back for more, but that's not like him, at least Ah guess it's not.

When Ah asked Jean about the original use of dogtags she told me that they were the only identity a man had in war. They were nothing more than numbers and nicknames, so that there was nothing intimate some kind of general had to know about them to recognize the single soldier. They often even knew their comrades just by their "dogtag-names", and without your tag you probably would have been a nothing, 'cause no one knew your identity and they certainly wouldn't search for your number among hundreds or thousands of soldiers like you. If the soldier fell someone ripped a part of his tag away to make sure he wouldn't appear in any kinda data again.

After that little talk Ah felt like Ah had Logan 'round my neck. Like he was only himself when he was here, near his tags... and near me.

What a feeling! It felt like Logan really had given himself to me.

But... Ah have to admit thinking about just throwing the damn tags away. If they really were his last hint to a obviously violent and brutal past, then throwing them away would have made him mine. Entirely.

But then Ah felt like betraying his trust. Logan gave me a part of himself, how could Ah think about throwing that part away? It would surely hurt him, and if Ah'd lie and say Ah had lost them it would be even more embarrassing.

Ah've become addicted to the dogtags. Having Logan in head obviously wasn't enough for me, so Ah took his tags as well. It's because of our connection Ah sometimes know he's alive and on the way home. He would know if something happens to me, and then he would come back, tags or not.

Let's just make sure he will, anyway.