On December 19, 1963, in the midst of the holiday rush, there was stillness
in Oxford's Hospital for women. A group of nurses were huddled around a
small table in the nearly empty maternity ward. Their silence was solemn
and reverent as they prayed for the lifeless mass atop it that should have
been Jonathan Evans. The stillborn came at 4:23 PM from the womb of his
mother, Sarah, who was now sleeping restlessly in room 221 with the company
of her husband and 2 year old daughter, Lily. The peace of ward and prayers
of the women were suddenly ended by cries of "My Baby! My Baby!" from room
221.
Sarah Evans woke in a strange room and was startled by the unfamiliar surroundings. Her eyes were swollen and sore as if she had wept herself to sleep. When she offset her daze of exhaustion and recognized her circumstances, her heart dropped like lead and she wished dreadfully to be back in the droning bliss of sleep. She began to claw at her own chest in a brutal attempt to rip out her soul to stop its ache. Her cries were massive and they shook the occupants of the ward to the core. They were joined by those of her daughter, who, although she did not understand her mother's sorrow, felt that she could console her broken mother with her own screams.
The constant cry from the lips of the woman was, "Let me see him! Where's my baby! Give me my Son!" which she shrieked as she shuddered and rocked back and forth.
Jonathan Sr, who was her husband, took his daughter's hand and brought her into the hall. He gently took hold of a passing RN's wrist.
"Please, let my wife have some closure. Let us see our baby."
"I'm sorry sir, I just can't let you do that, I don't have the authority."
Jonathan, who rarely got angry, tightened his grip on the nurse's arm. Despite his growing anger, his voice remained calm as he repeated his plea, "Just give me my son! Don't make me do anything rash."
"I can't, I really am sorry, but I can't. I'll speak with Doctor Anderson, but I can't promise anything."
He mouthed a silent thank you as the nurse turned and walked towards the office. Jonathan stood in that spot under the bright fluorescents staring into nothing. It took him awhile to realize that he was alone.
In his vain attempts to access his son, Jonathan Evans had let go of the hand of Lily. There was now a toddler clumsily walking towards the place where those three reverent nurses had been praying. The curious little girl climbed onto the chair next to the table and quietly gazed at the soft white sheet covering her brother. With delicate pink baby fingers, she gingerly plucked the cloth from the table and saw him. She was neither frightened nor saddened by the sight; rather, she stroked the cold gray flesh and kissed the cheek right below her brothers startlingly green eyes. The little girl sat, and held the immobile arm of Jonathan Evans Jr.
"No, no, no, a patient in her state of emotional shock cannot see the thing that put her into that state! To see it would be even more draining than not." Doctor Anderson was a very matter-of-fact person with little interest in more than diagnosis and treatment. His voice was blunt and haughty as it traveled through the corridor.
"But Doctor, she keeps screaming for him, you've heard her, it's impossible not to. You must have some sort of sympathy for your patient; it's a human being that we're talking about! A human child! Listen, Sarah's husband, Jonathan I think- like the boy...- he stopped me in the hall and spoke to me quite sincerely. I think it would be the only right thing to do."
"You, Rachel, should not even be involved with the patient. You are not a medical nor psychological doctor and also have no right to be involved in these 'moral issues', they are not your concern, and as a matter of fact, mine either, so I am just going to diagnose and discharge the patient, end of story."
The squat nurse, Rachel, opened her mouth to disagree with the Doctor who she was following, but was silenced to a hoarse "Oh my-" as they turned the corner into the room occupied only by a little girl with red pigtails.
"What is that child doing in here and why is she handling the- the specimen?" voiced Anderson in a most professional tirade.
Before anyone could answer, Rachel lifted Lily from the chair and stood her by her side. She repositioned the cloth around the stillborn and picked him up as if he were her own. "If you won't bring this boy to his parents, then I will. They want or even need to see him, and I don't give a hoot whether or not it goes against your 'diagnostic analysis'. For this is love they need, not medicine."
"Rachel", spoke an annoyed Doctor Anderson, "I'll have you know that if you walk to the door of this room with the corpse, your job is on the line. And if you step out, you had better be looking in the want-ads because there is no place for you here."
"C'mon sweetie", Rachel spoke softly to Lily, who was staring up at her with liquid blue eyes, "let's go back to mummy." She swiftly bustled out of the room with the two siblings, Jonathan in her arms and Lily speeding to catch up. Doctor Anderson was left with only the company of his own shadow, which was small and petty in the direct light. His anger welled as he watched the company travel away, but he suppressed it by occupying himself with reading the resumes of potential nurses.
They entered room 221 to find Jonathan sitting once again beside his sleeping wife. He stood when he saw his daughter enter behind Rachel. "Lily, where did you go? Don't you ever run off like that again! And with mum sick!" he said as her took his daughter and sat her down in the seat that he had been sitting in. After situating his daughter he looked up at Rachel to thank her, but stopped when he saw what she was holding.
"I-i-is that...?" he stammered.
"Yes it's your son", replied Rachel gently, "if you don't want to see him I'll understand. But it was the most amazing thing. I found your daughter sitting with him just as if he were alive. Such a lovely girl, I believe you have another?"
"Petunia, yes, she is with some family friends, The Dursley's. She really didn't want to come, probably couldn't handle it... Could I please-?"
At the name of Dursley, Rachel lifted her head slightly in recognition, but her gesture was unnoticed by the fretting father. She realized that this really was no time to proclaim how small the world was and spoke in a more subdued tone, "Of course, here you are", said the nurse as she passed the blanket wrapped infant to his father.
At the sight of his son, Jonathan Evans face grew gaunt, worn, and heavy. In the short moments that it took for him to stare into the empty shell of a child, he aged twenty years. The sight of the miserable man cradling his lost baby wetted Rachel's cheeks as she listened to his choking sobs. She stood there, with tears falling openly, and was amazed at the strength he admitted when he spoke through his tears.
"Green eyes... like his grandmother... she had the greenest eyes..." it took prodigious fortitude for Jonathan to utter these words through his tears. He had been hit by a sadness that wrenched his heart clean out of his chest. Lily, who had been sitting on the bedside seat, ran to her father and latched lovingly onto his leg. With the sound of her husband's sobs backed by the rhythmic pattern of her daughter's footfall, Sarah Evans fluttered her eyes open once again.
Her's was the very image of pain and anguish. Her face was pale and her hair was matted to her head with sweat. Her breaths grew short and quick when she saw what her husband clasped to her chest. Her voice caught in her throat, though it was apparent that she wished to speak. Jonathan stepped towards his wife cautiously, knowing the difficulty of despondency.
Lily, knowing that her mother would be forever changed from the smiling hopeful woman to one bitter, wasted life, cried so greatly that her sound drowned out all the sorrow in the room and replaced it with naive fear and a single plea to retain the sweetness of the word, "MUUUMMMMMMYYYYY!!!!"
Sarah Evans woke in a strange room and was startled by the unfamiliar surroundings. Her eyes were swollen and sore as if she had wept herself to sleep. When she offset her daze of exhaustion and recognized her circumstances, her heart dropped like lead and she wished dreadfully to be back in the droning bliss of sleep. She began to claw at her own chest in a brutal attempt to rip out her soul to stop its ache. Her cries were massive and they shook the occupants of the ward to the core. They were joined by those of her daughter, who, although she did not understand her mother's sorrow, felt that she could console her broken mother with her own screams.
The constant cry from the lips of the woman was, "Let me see him! Where's my baby! Give me my Son!" which she shrieked as she shuddered and rocked back and forth.
Jonathan Sr, who was her husband, took his daughter's hand and brought her into the hall. He gently took hold of a passing RN's wrist.
"Please, let my wife have some closure. Let us see our baby."
"I'm sorry sir, I just can't let you do that, I don't have the authority."
Jonathan, who rarely got angry, tightened his grip on the nurse's arm. Despite his growing anger, his voice remained calm as he repeated his plea, "Just give me my son! Don't make me do anything rash."
"I can't, I really am sorry, but I can't. I'll speak with Doctor Anderson, but I can't promise anything."
He mouthed a silent thank you as the nurse turned and walked towards the office. Jonathan stood in that spot under the bright fluorescents staring into nothing. It took him awhile to realize that he was alone.
In his vain attempts to access his son, Jonathan Evans had let go of the hand of Lily. There was now a toddler clumsily walking towards the place where those three reverent nurses had been praying. The curious little girl climbed onto the chair next to the table and quietly gazed at the soft white sheet covering her brother. With delicate pink baby fingers, she gingerly plucked the cloth from the table and saw him. She was neither frightened nor saddened by the sight; rather, she stroked the cold gray flesh and kissed the cheek right below her brothers startlingly green eyes. The little girl sat, and held the immobile arm of Jonathan Evans Jr.
"No, no, no, a patient in her state of emotional shock cannot see the thing that put her into that state! To see it would be even more draining than not." Doctor Anderson was a very matter-of-fact person with little interest in more than diagnosis and treatment. His voice was blunt and haughty as it traveled through the corridor.
"But Doctor, she keeps screaming for him, you've heard her, it's impossible not to. You must have some sort of sympathy for your patient; it's a human being that we're talking about! A human child! Listen, Sarah's husband, Jonathan I think- like the boy...- he stopped me in the hall and spoke to me quite sincerely. I think it would be the only right thing to do."
"You, Rachel, should not even be involved with the patient. You are not a medical nor psychological doctor and also have no right to be involved in these 'moral issues', they are not your concern, and as a matter of fact, mine either, so I am just going to diagnose and discharge the patient, end of story."
The squat nurse, Rachel, opened her mouth to disagree with the Doctor who she was following, but was silenced to a hoarse "Oh my-" as they turned the corner into the room occupied only by a little girl with red pigtails.
"What is that child doing in here and why is she handling the- the specimen?" voiced Anderson in a most professional tirade.
Before anyone could answer, Rachel lifted Lily from the chair and stood her by her side. She repositioned the cloth around the stillborn and picked him up as if he were her own. "If you won't bring this boy to his parents, then I will. They want or even need to see him, and I don't give a hoot whether or not it goes against your 'diagnostic analysis'. For this is love they need, not medicine."
"Rachel", spoke an annoyed Doctor Anderson, "I'll have you know that if you walk to the door of this room with the corpse, your job is on the line. And if you step out, you had better be looking in the want-ads because there is no place for you here."
"C'mon sweetie", Rachel spoke softly to Lily, who was staring up at her with liquid blue eyes, "let's go back to mummy." She swiftly bustled out of the room with the two siblings, Jonathan in her arms and Lily speeding to catch up. Doctor Anderson was left with only the company of his own shadow, which was small and petty in the direct light. His anger welled as he watched the company travel away, but he suppressed it by occupying himself with reading the resumes of potential nurses.
They entered room 221 to find Jonathan sitting once again beside his sleeping wife. He stood when he saw his daughter enter behind Rachel. "Lily, where did you go? Don't you ever run off like that again! And with mum sick!" he said as her took his daughter and sat her down in the seat that he had been sitting in. After situating his daughter he looked up at Rachel to thank her, but stopped when he saw what she was holding.
"I-i-is that...?" he stammered.
"Yes it's your son", replied Rachel gently, "if you don't want to see him I'll understand. But it was the most amazing thing. I found your daughter sitting with him just as if he were alive. Such a lovely girl, I believe you have another?"
"Petunia, yes, she is with some family friends, The Dursley's. She really didn't want to come, probably couldn't handle it... Could I please-?"
At the name of Dursley, Rachel lifted her head slightly in recognition, but her gesture was unnoticed by the fretting father. She realized that this really was no time to proclaim how small the world was and spoke in a more subdued tone, "Of course, here you are", said the nurse as she passed the blanket wrapped infant to his father.
At the sight of his son, Jonathan Evans face grew gaunt, worn, and heavy. In the short moments that it took for him to stare into the empty shell of a child, he aged twenty years. The sight of the miserable man cradling his lost baby wetted Rachel's cheeks as she listened to his choking sobs. She stood there, with tears falling openly, and was amazed at the strength he admitted when he spoke through his tears.
"Green eyes... like his grandmother... she had the greenest eyes..." it took prodigious fortitude for Jonathan to utter these words through his tears. He had been hit by a sadness that wrenched his heart clean out of his chest. Lily, who had been sitting on the bedside seat, ran to her father and latched lovingly onto his leg. With the sound of her husband's sobs backed by the rhythmic pattern of her daughter's footfall, Sarah Evans fluttered her eyes open once again.
Her's was the very image of pain and anguish. Her face was pale and her hair was matted to her head with sweat. Her breaths grew short and quick when she saw what her husband clasped to her chest. Her voice caught in her throat, though it was apparent that she wished to speak. Jonathan stepped towards his wife cautiously, knowing the difficulty of despondency.
Lily, knowing that her mother would be forever changed from the smiling hopeful woman to one bitter, wasted life, cried so greatly that her sound drowned out all the sorrow in the room and replaced it with naive fear and a single plea to retain the sweetness of the word, "MUUUMMMMMMYYYYY!!!!"
