A/N I've had this idea since the second time I read the brick, and I was listening to the Birdy version of "Skinny Love", and I thought the line "If all your love was wasted, then who the hell was I?" described Fantine and Félix perfectly, so I decided to finally write this fic.
Dear Félix,
I... I don't really know how to start. There are so many things I want to say, and it's a rarity that they're nice. I thought we had something special. I thought you would always be there for me, we could get through this world together. But, obviously you had other ideas. Was I not good enough? Did that candlelit dinner amount for nothing? Do you know what the stupid envelope did to me? It caused my world to come crashing down, it was a tiny spark that kindled a raging forest fire in my mind, and the only person who can put it out... is you.
I didn't want to send this. It seemed weak, as if I was giving in to you. I assure you, I'm not. I just wanted you to know what you're done. I'll go further. I'll tell you what I've done. I've had to leave Paris, Félix. No work. And, I just want you to know - you have a child. You should have waited, to find out. Perhaps that was why you thought me unseemly. I was pregnant. I have named the child Euphrasie. Euphrasie. Don't you think that is just a beautiful name? And I also see fit to call her Cosette - "little thing". She is a darling - not that you will see her. I have left her with an innkeeper and his wife inn Montfermeil, and I am sure they will look after her better than you ever could. I am working in Montreuil-sur-mer now, in a factory. I miss you. I don't want to say it, but I miss you. You were my everything, and now you're gone.
I don't know if this will get to you. In all honesty, I expect not. I've given this to a horse and cart driver, with nothing but the words "Paris" and "Félix Tholomyés". I passed him the small sketch I'd placed inside my locket of your features, and given him two francs. Those two francs will mean Cosette will have no new dresses for a month, so I hope they are worth it. I don't expect your pity, I don't expect your charity, I don't even expect an apology. Pray, I probably would not even accept your blasted apology. But... perhaps I just hope for some small words back.
Yours,
Fantine.
...
Dear Fantine,
I received your letter. I'm not going to say sorry. I don't feel it would be right, to apologise. You should have told me about Cosette earlier, because it was always young fleeting fancies, nothing more. You are not the first of my mistresses and I expect Cosette is not the first of my daughters. I don't feel it would be right to look at you in particular, but maybe I feel guilty for abandoning a child so young. You have done no wrong, understand this, but you have also performed nothing special. But, I suppose, being the father, I most owe you something. I have sent this with a lace dress for Cosette, and hope it will suffice for the ones she will not receive this month because of me.
It is not weak, to send a letter. If anything, perhaps it is defiant, for I feel slightly humbled for you to be so afraid and yet so strong. I would look after your daughter, Fantine. I would look after her well, even if you and I are to slowly drift apart. Pray, I feel we are already great countries from each other. And whilst it shows an ache in your heart, mine feels nothing but as if a burden has been lifted from it. I don't expect you to understand, you're a woman, you wouldn't understand. But, this child is innocent of all, and it is my duty as a citizen of Paris to see she is in good health.
Yours sincerely,
Félix
