heyyyyyyy! so this idea came into my head when i was watching tv randomly so i thought i'd write it as a one shot! I'm still writing 'inevitable?' so dont worry, check it out guys

Please read and review this and tell me whatcha think!

The moment I heard the news, my world stopped. I could no longer think straight and my ability to function with everyday things came to a halt. It should have been the perfect New Year, a fresh start, a new life without lies and secrets.

I remember spending the hours running up to the big 2009 gripping tightly to the rim of my toilet, vomiting the entire contents of my stomach as Shane pulled my bangs from my face, rubbing my back soothingly. He thought it was food poisoning, or so I had claimed it was. But this wasn't the first time, or the second...it had been going on for a good 2 weeks, but I ignored it. Of course I had my suspicions but I pushed them to the back of my mind, it wasn't something I could deal with. Not now anyway.

Shane told me that maybe we should skip the big club opening in town and just spend it at home, together. I told him to go, to go with Nate and the gang and have fun, after all what fun would a sick Mitchie be to anyone?

He went after a lot of persisting, and I was left alone in a cold New York apartment, my mind running with endless thoughts. I gave it a good 20 minutes after Shane left before I unzipped my purse, pulling out a paper bag containing the item that would tell me what my future had in store for me, after all I didn't want him coming back.

I dragged myself to the bathroom and pulled the pregnancy test out of its box. Those three minutes were the longest of my life; I knew that if it was positive, my life was going to be turned upside down. And not for the reasons you think.

My alarm on my phone went off, indicating that those agonising 180 seconds were finally over. I gulped hard as I opened my eyes and stared at the stick.

Positive.

I collapsed to the floor as the reality of it all hit me; I was in such a mess. I thought the lies were enough to make every intimate moment shared with Shane hard, but this, this was that cherry on the top. How could I tell my boyfriend of 18 months, that I was pregnant with his best friend's baby?

Yes, that's right it's not his, but Nate's.

And how could I be so sure? I was on the pill and he always used protection, he didn't want a family, not for a good seven to ten years at least. After all what 20 year old man would?

Nate and I had been having a secret relationship for the past 6 months, at first it was innocent flirting, next thing I knew I was sneaking of constantly to be with him. I couldn't keep away. I thought that it was a meaningless fling, that I would see my senses and realise that Shane is the man of my dreams. But as time progressed I began to fall for him, and hard. And what made matters worse, he felt the same. I thought that as long as we didn't actually have sex, I wouldn't be officially cheating on Shane, and that Nate only wanted to sleep with me.

But one night, 5 weeks ago that all changed, I couldn't take it any longer, I wanted him, I needed him. There was no hesitation in our antics, and the thought of using protection was the last thing on our mind. I remember waking up, our legs intertwined with a loose white sheet resting over us, knowing that there was no turning back now. I loved Nate and no matter how much I deny it.

It wasn't until the vomiting began that I realised that I missed my pill that day, but I just hope, prayed that my body was playing some cruel joke on me.

But it was no joke. I was carrying Nate Black's unborn child.

I saw in the new year by sobbing quietly, clutching my cell in one hand and the pregnancy test in the other. I had to tell him, this had to stop. I couldn't lead this false life any longer, not when I've got another person to think about.

My phone rang bang on midnight, as Shane's name flashed across the screen, I sniffled away the tears quickly before answering.

"Happy new year baby! Hope you're feeling better. Are you missing me-"yet before I could reply I was interrupted by a huge bang, followed by several screams before the line went dead. A lump caught in my throat, and my heart began to race.

I scurried to my feet and turned on the local news channel to see 'BREAKING NEWS' illuminate across the screen, it was talking about an explosion at a club in New York... the club they were at.

I grabbed my coat and ran out the door as fast as I could; it was only a five minute walk from our apartment. I needed to be there, they had to be okay.

I remember approaching the scene, seeing hundreds of people stumbling out of the building which was burning like a furnace, coughing and spluttering. I searched the crowds for my friends, for Shane, for Nate. Tears were running down my face freely. Then I saw, Shane, carrying Caitlyn in his arms closely followed by Jason, who had bloody seeping from his forehead. I ran towards them as Shane looked at me briefly, his face so unreadable and said "I love you" he went back in to the blazing building as I realised who was missing...Nate.

My breathing quickened, hell I was hyperventilating, as I struggled to stay standing. I kept my eyes focused on the club door as fire fighters were tackling the blaze.

"Look its Shane" Jason said pointing at my soot covered boyfriend holding Nate in his arms. I ran towards them to see Shanes face, tears spilling from his eyes. My eyes widened and I reverted my focus to the limp body in his arms.

"He's, he's..." Shane stumbled over his words as I shook my head, he lowered Nate on to the floor, his eyes were firmly shut and his mouth open slightly. I brushed his soft curls away from his forehead before I checked for his pulse, breathing, anything indicating that he was still alive. But there was nothing. I desperately began pounding at his chest, screaming his name out in desperation; I didn't care if people were watching me. He couldn't leave me. He couldn't.

I kept pounding and pounding until I felt a strong pair of arms pull me back, and pulling me into an embrace "Mitch, stop...he's gone."

I felt as if I was suffocating I couldn't breathe, this wasn't happening, he couldn't be...dead.

-


That was 8 months ago. I sat at his funeral, watching the love of my life being lowered into the ground, knowing then that I was all alone in this cruel world. I told Shane not long after and he promised to support me through it all, but he didn't. He couldn't live with the fact that I was carrying his dead friends baby, and that i had betrayed him.

And now, now I am sitting in a hospital bed with my new born baby in my arms, his small locks of brown hair bouncing off his head, a mirror image of his father. He was all I had left. He was the symbol of how much I loved Nate. He never knew that I was pregnant, he never knew just how much I loved him and he never got to know his son. I vowed to him at his funeral that a day wouldnt go by where i wouldnt tell his son/daughter how amazing he was, and how much he would have loved them.

But after all words only go so far. He was gone, and I had to continue living the life we had always wanted, for our baby's sake.

The only thing I had left to remind me of Nate Black

My one and only love.