Gentlemen and ladies, gods and goddesses , demi-gods- male and female, I hereby point out to you that I am not Rick Riordan. Right Cherie?
Cherie; That's right. He is way more awesome than you.
Cherie, I do not believe it is good English if you say way more awesome. It sounds like Apollo. And he peeves me, even though he is amusing.
Cherie; you are peeves. From Harry Potter. You are that annoying.
Pff just stay silent. I do not require your services anymore.
Cherie; Whatever. * Walks away*
Okay people, now cherie, who I just made up, and I have made clear- or clearer if you are one of those people who need to get new knowledge almost literally pushed inside their skull before they actually have knowledge- I do not own Percy Jackson & the Olympians. Enjoy!
Demeter- Third person
Demeter sighed. She was at her house, at her kitchen table, eating a bowl of cereal and she wasn't happy. At all. She was frustrated, annoyed and lonely. All the emotions she felt were negative ones.
It surprised, and slightly worried, her that even now she was eating cereal, she could not feel the slightest bit of happiness. Even now she had peace, quiet, cereal and no Hades, she couldn't just enjoy herself.
Demeter looked at her kitchen table, at all the empty bowls that had been filled with cereal. Glorious, delicious cereal. The only thing that could make her feel better when she was sad, depressed even like this. It was healthy and yet tasty. She loved cereal.
I wish there was a man that had the same qualities as cereal. Well, not the tasty part. He should be handsome, not tasty. Why would I want a man that is tasty? Demeter shook her head, annoyed by her own thoughts. She didn't know why, but her thoughts had been drifting to that certain subject a lot lately. That certain subject being men.
Maybe it was because Persephone was with Hades- she hated Hades-, but Demeter felt lonely and devoid. She would like it if someone kept her company. And for some reason, she actually wanted that someone to be a man. And was irritated with herself for wanting that.
Nonsense. I am perfectly fine on my own. I don't need a man, they only bring your trouble. I might just miss the times Me, Zeus and Persephone had when she was little and he would visit us to spend time with us. He wasn't around often, far from it, but when he was, Persephone loved it. And now she is gone.
Demeter tried to think of something else, but she wasn't able to. All she could think about right now, was Persephone. She missed her daughter. Like she always did when she wasn't around to make Demeter happy.
Persephone was in the Underworld right now, of course. Hades was permitted to spend time with her this time of the year. And Demeter hated it. She hated Hades, for stealing her little girl. For taking away one of the only things in her life that made her smile.
Her family, apart from Persephone, certainly didn't. They only drove her crazy. Her demigod children sometimes made her smile, but Persephone was still her favourite. She was the perfect daughter, sweet, funny, mostly obedient, intelligent..
And Hades was the exact opposite. He was anything except perfect, if you asked her. He was dark, mean, grumphy, an abductor, a weirdo, ruled the Underworld, suspiscious and stupid. Okay, maybe not stupid. Demeter was aware of the fact that he was intelligent, even though she didn't like it that there was anything positive about him. In her eyes, he was a monster. A monster that took her Persephone.
There should be nothing positive about him and there isn't. Anything positive is made into something negative in his case. Like his intelligence. He used it to force my sweetheart to eat that pomegrenade! He should be thrown into Tartarus. Or at least honor his mother in law and eat more cereal.
Demeter was really annoyed when she realized she was actually wasting time by thinking about that death breath. Distracted, she got up and snapped her fingers. All the bowls were immediately cleaned and dried.
She sighed. She really had let herself go. If she had counted correctly, she had eaten thirty-five bowls of cereal in approximately two hours. That really was a lot, especially since they were all god size, so she ate thirty-five gargantuan bowls of cereal in that little time. It wouldn't get her fat, she was a goddess after all, but it was a little extreme. Even for a cereal-lover like her.
She walked towards her living room and sat down on the couch while she turned on the TV.
Not even looking at the TV, she ate her last bowl of cereal and thought about her daughter again. She couldn't understand Persephone actually liked Hades. She had even asked Demeter if she couldn't be nice to Hades.
Pff I could if I wanted to, but he doesn't deserve that. Besides I'm already a lot nicer than I would prefer, considering I would want to scratch his eyes out - so he can't see any pretty women and also not abduct them-, cut his tongue- so I won't have to listen to his complains- and do exactly what Kronos has done to Uranus- hopefully that will not bring another Aphrodite into our world, one is more than enough- , I would cut his remains into pieces while he is still alive and throw this into Tartarus. With a few boxes of cereal, of course. I'm a nice person after all and- what the hell
Demeter scowled when she realized she had used Hades home as a swear word- which it was- , because that could bring him here. He had this annoying habit of showing up whenever anyone used his name or his home as swear word.
Her scowl deepened when she saw what was on TV. The same thing that had interrupted her happy thoughts about Hades being neuterized and thrown into Tartarus. It was Hepheastus TV and it showed Aphrodite and Ares, caught together again. They were at some lousy pretpark, in some stupid love boat. Making out. Heavenly. And not even noticing they were filmed or heading towards a trap.
"Seriously, it's absurd how often those two have intercourse"Demeter said out loud while turning off the sound.
"Oh please it isn't. You are just jealous Demi " a sultry voice suddenly said. Demeter groaned when she saw who it was. Aphrodite, goddess of love and being able to annoy Demeter almost as much as Hades. Which was surprising, since Hades made her want to bang her head against a door or other hard object.
" What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in some love boat, being busy with trying to escape?" she said.
Aphrodite smiled and sat down next to her. Demeter hated her for a moment when she smiled that smile and looked even prettier. No matter what Aphrodite wore, she was extremely pretty. And it annoyed Demeter.
Aphrodite was wearing a knee-length red light blue dress that matched great with her blue eyes and blond hair. She also wore ridiculously high heels, so high Demeter wondered how she even could walk on them.
Aphrodite motioned to the TV, that was still on but the sound was off. " This was recorded. It isn't live. So that is why I am here and not there. And I am here, because I need to help you".
Demeter smiled grimly. "Great. Get out of my house, where you came uninvited, and leave me alone! Or better yet, get Hades to release my poor Persephone".
Aphrodite giggled. " No way. Hades and Persephone are actually cute together. Besides, last time I checked, they were having a great time together". She winked at Demeter. " I wouldn't be surprised if you become grandmother again, the way they are going for it".
Demeter put her hand on her stomach, suddenly feeling nauseous. She had a really disturbing picture of her daughter and Hades together., doing that. It was disgusting. "That's disgusting!"Demeter hissed, angry at Aphrodite for telling her. Now she would be scarred for life. She knew they did things like that of course, but she most definitely didn't want to be reminded of it. That was just horrifying.
Aphrodite smiled, a sickingly sweet smile. " Now don't be shy darling, I'm sure you have done that too!".
Demeter gasped. " I most certainly did not! I would never have intercourse with death breath. I would rather go to Tartarus!".
Aphrodite raised one of her eyebrows. " I meant sex in general, not sex with Hades. But funny that you thought I meant you have slept with Hades. Are you thinking that much about him? I mean, he isn't really my type and all, but he is tall, dark and handsome I guess. I could see why you would like him, even if he is a bit creepy".
By now, Demeter was ready to cut her wrists, go cry in a corner or bang her head against a door until she fainted. Anything that would keep her thoughts away from her and Hades, both naked and doing that. It was just too horrible.
" Oh great. Thank you Aphrodite, now I will probably lose all the cereal I have eaten today. Not only that, I'm probably scarred for the rest of my immortal life!".
Aphrodite rolled her eyes. " That is not fair! Okay Hades is creepy and I get you are mad because he abducted your daughter, but he is hot! People don't really notice, but he looks good".
" Aphrodite! He isn't hot, like you put it. Besides, he is mean, annoying, infuriating, doesn't like cereal, has abducted Persephone, doesn't have respect for me at all and he is my brother! Do you know how weird it would be if I did things like that with him?".
Aphrodite shrugged. "No. I don't think I have ever slept with a brother before. But you should ask Zeus and Hera if you want to know. They are brother and sister".
"Yes, and their marriage is a disaster. They destroy each other's life!".
Aphrodite rolled her eyes. " I don't think that has anything to do with that they are siblings, more with the fact that Hera is so annoying".
" You mean with the fact Zeus cheats so much. Like you!".
Aphrodite gasped. She looked really offended. "He! I never wanted to marry Hepheastus! I don't want to marry in the first place! Can you believe Zeus expected only one person to admire my beauty. That is like soooo cruel! The world should get the chance to admire my perfection!".
Demeter rolled her eyes. The woman was even worse that narcissus, at times. Like now. Only thinking of herself, not others. Sometimes she wondered if Aphrodite was in love with herself. She did have a tendency to fall in love with almost every handsome person.
" That is not a reason to cheat! Hepheastus didn't ask for someone like you as wife either!".
"He! What do you mean with that?".
" Someone who cheats more than.. more than Zeus!".
" Pff. So what. Hepheastus is ugly. Like I would ever stay like someone like that".
" You wouldn't stay with anyone! You sleep with practically everyone!". "I don't! I have some rules you know".
" Like what? Let the guy pays for everything and pay him by sleeping with him? You are like a prostitute!".
Aphrodite gasped, now really offended. Demeter got say she was actually tearing up a bit.
She sighed. " Did that offended you?".
"Of course it did!Why would you think it didn't?"
" Well, I don't know, considering you are also the goddess of lust, I thought you didn't think prostitutes are something negative".
" They aren't. It's a job, but I am not a prostitute".
"Well, technically you sort of are. I mean your job is practically sleeping with men".
Aphrodite rolled her eyes. " Why do people keep saying that? My job isn't sleeping with men. It is everything that concerns love, lust and beauty. Mostly, my job is bringing people together".
"Whatever. Why are you here?".
Aphodite looked looked annoyed and offended when Demeter made clear she wasn't interested, but she was still smiling. A goofy, but somehow slightly evil smile that made Demeter feel very suspicious and wary. That smile couldn't mean something positive would happen. It promised only negative stuff. Like her and Hades getting together.
Demeter shuddered again. She really would rather go to Tartarus, although she would have to be near him then too. But it was always better than actually sleeping with him. She would do anything to avoid that.
She looked at Aphrodite with narrowed eyes. She really didn't trust her. Aphrodite loved meddling with people's life and destroying it to amuse her. Demeter didn't want to become her next victim.
" I am here to help you" Aphrodite squeeled at that moment, back to her usual, goofy self.
Demeter sighed. " You already said that. With what do you want to help me?".
Aphrodite smiled. "With your love life of course!".
Demeter frowned. She was a bit confused by now. " You want to help me find a man? I can do that myself, you know".
"Not a man, a god. Someone like Ares".
Demeter shuddered. She really didn't want a man like Ares. He was horrible. " No thank you. And now leave my house!".
Aphrodite pouted. "Oh come on Demi, You know you secretly wants my help. You need it! Haven't you been thinking about men a lot lately?".
Demeter gasped. " How do you know that?".
Aphrodite smirked. " I'm the goddess of love and lust and you my dear, really need to get laid. The lack of sex must be driving you crazy. Well crazier, that is".
" I am not crazy! Why do people keep saying that?".
Aphrodite shrugged. " You like cereal way too much. It's kind of creepy. Like I already said, you need a man. I mean, you can hardly make out with a box of cereal. That would be even grosser than making out with animals, even I don't do that! Artemis might though, she is obsessed with the hunt".
Demeter rolled her eyes. Aphrodite was really messed up, thinking of one thing only. And she wasn't crazy! The others were! " I don't think Artemis does anything like that. Thanks for another disturbing picture. Also, I do not think grosser is a word and I do not need your help or get laid. So leave".
Aphrodite crossed her arms, shaking her head. " I'm not leaving! You really need to get laid. Or at least have a man to spend time with. This loneliness is slowly making you nuts".
"Leave!".
"No! I am trying to help you Demi, you need a man! I have been getting a lot of signals from you that tell me this".
"Where on earth are you even talking about?".
" I am talking about the fact that you are lonely and depressed and you want to have a man around!".
" It is none of your business! Leave!".
" Oh gosh it totally is! I am the goddess of love and lust! It is sooo my business!".
"Seriously, what do I have to do to get you to leave?!".
Aphrodite smirked again and Demeter immediately felt a feeling of upcoming doom. That could never be good. If Aphrodite looked like that, she had a plan. A plan that would mean a lot of trouble for Demeter and a lot of fun for Aphrodite.
" All you have to do, is join a dating site" Aphrodite exclaimed, looking rather proud of herself for such a wondrous, note the sarcasm cough, idea.
"Aphrodite...".
" No really it is a good idea. I have found this special dating site for gods, nymphs , satyrs, immortals and so on. You wouldn't tell anyone you are Demeter, goddess of cereal, but-".
Demeter sighed. "I am not the goddess of cereal Aphrodite. Well not directly, that is. I'm the goddess of agriculture, fertility and the-".
Aphrodite rolled her eyes. "Whatever. And if you aren't the goddess of that stuff, it is even weirder you are so obsessed. Now, like I was saying it is a really cool site and you can just join. Just don't tell anyone who you really are".
Demeter frowned. She didn't like being people acting like her job wasn't important. Her job WAS important. Without her, all people would die. No harvest, no food. And why couldn't she tell anyone it was her?
"Why shouldn't I say it is me?".
Aphrodite sighed. She looked really annoyed. " Because it's funner that way- ".
" Funner isn't a word either" Demeter pointed out.
Aphrodite just ignored her. " and you kind of have a bad reputation".
Demeter was really offended by now. " Bad reputation? What on earth do you mean?".
Aphrodite shrugged. " Simple. Everyone thinks you are a freak, because you are obsessed by cereal. You will have to stop talking about cereal all the time and how much you know Hades- so no one knows it's you- and talk about your other hobby's. And not agriculture! Something that could fit any immortal. So they don't know it's you".
" I don't think I even have a hobby like that".
" We will think of something".
"No, we will do nothing. You will leave".
Aphrodite smirked again. "And how would you force me to?".
" I can just throw you out or use my godly powers".
"You probably could. But I will just come back until you give in. Or do I have to spill your secret?".
"Where are you talking about! Seriously, how am I the crazy one?".
" You know. About that one time when you got drunk in Las Vegas, trying to get over your depression because Persephone was gone, and you-".
" All right! Fine, I will do it"Demeter said, annoyed. She really didn't want to think about that time. It had been embarressing. No one could know about that.
Aphrodite smirked." Hah! I won. Now follow me".
She got up and Demeter followed her towards her own laptop. Like she didn't know where her laptop was.
Aphrodite sat down and motioned Demeter to do the same. They sat together and Demeter watched as Aphrodite typed in ; .com( A/N this is purely fictional, this site doesn't actually exists! The last time I checked, at least). Aphrodite clicked on the join button.
" All right. Let's do this. What do you want to have as name?".
Demeter sighed. She really didn't like this. She snapped her fingers and made a new bowl of cereal appear, the last one was long gone, but Aphrodite took it from her. " No! No more cereal. You have to stop this obsession Demeter. It totally ruins your love life!".
Demeter looked at Aphrodite for a second. That crazy lady had stolen her cereal! She decided to do the logical thing. Scream. "GIVE ME BACK MY CEREAL YOU CRAZY LADY"!
Aphrodite cowered a bit. Demeter was really scary whenever she got mad like this. Emphasis on the mad part. Mad-angry and mad- crazy. She stood her ground though. "No! I won't give it back. You said it yourself, you have had enough for today".
"GIMME!".
"No! Stop trying or I will tell everybody, including the campers of camp half-blood".
Demeter crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at Aphrodite. ""Fine. Just do this quick, I want it to be over".
Aphrodite immediately smiled and made the bowl disappear, making Demeter very sad. Even cereal couldn't save her now.
Aphrodite turned her attention back to the screen and Demeter tried to make another bowl of cereal appear, so she could secretly eat it, but Aphrodite glared at her and she stopped it. "Fine. I won't eat cereal then"she grumbled.
Aphrodite smiled. " Good. Now what will be your name?".
The next few hours, Aphrodite and Demeter made Demeter's profile and Aphrodite showed her how the site worked. It wasn't much different from the mortal datesites, she said. The only real difference was that there were immortals, gods and so on on this dating site.
Demeter, wanting Aphrodite to leave her house, just agreed on almost everything. She just didn't agree when she really didn't want to agree. Like when Aphrodite suggested to add giving lapdances as hobby, because men would like that. Demeter had retored only creeps would.
After she had made Demeter swore she wouldn't tell anyone she was Demeter on the site and say nothing about cereal or Hades or Persephone - at least not something that could make it obvious who she was- on the styx, Aphrodite finally left. Leaving Demeter alone and bored behind, like she had been before Aphrodite had invaded her house.
Demeter, a little bored, decided to try it. Why wouldn't I? Maybe I actually find a decent man on this..
She looked at her name and smile;Medini23. Medini meant the nurturer and that was what she was to the Romans. Or had been.
Besides, she liked the name Medini. It sounded a bit like a magician and she secretly loved those. They weren't as good as cereal was though. But then again, nothing was.
She smiled and started to look around, just because she was curious she assured herself. Who knew. Maybe she would actually find someone that would understand her, maybe someone who hated Hades as much as her...
Aphrodite pov
I looked back at Demeter's house and grinned, satisfied with myself. I was convinced she would soon walk into my trap.
She won't be able to resist this. She will find for a good guy and all I need to do, is convince Hades he simply has to join the site even though he already has a wife. Can't be that hard.
So I walked away, happy, ready to make sure my plan could start and Hades and Demeter would finally realize they would be cute together. I mean, they are both like really weird! It's perfect. Like me.
All right. Chapter 1. Some short things, to inform you.
First of all, hope you liked this.
Second of all, I will warn you right now I won't be able to update this often. Maybe once a week. Maybe. Which isn't often for me, since I write a chapter for a story almost every day. I'm just extremely busy with my other stories.
Okay, now you know that; Do you guys have any ideas for this story? Like what Demeter should have at her profile by likes and anything. Or a name for Hades. Things like that.
Also, should I do this in third person or switch from Hades to Demeter? I usually do third person, that way you can describe the thoughts of all characters, but I can change it if you want to.
Tell me in a review or pm me if you have ideas:)
